Charlie Pees His Pants

*Charlie and Dennis are sitting at the bar in Paddy's Pub.

Dennis: ...and then she ate the cookie.

Charlie: Wow, that was a great story bro, but I got a question.

Dennis: Question, what question?

Charlie: How did she fit in the... oh damn!

Dennis: What?

Charlie: I peed my pants.

*Dee enters the room.

Dee: Whattup jerks! Where's my lamp?

Dennis: Do you like toast?

Dee: I have to make a list for the store. I think we need a light bulb. Can you think of anything else, bro?

Dennis: Corn.

Charlie: I peed my pants.

Dennis: Yes Charlie, we are aware of that.

Dee: I wasn't.

Dennis: Well now you know.

Charlie: No, I mean I peed them again. Like, I peed a few minutes ago, and then stopped, and then I just now peed again.

Dennis: I see.

Dee: Thank you for that Charlie.

Charlie: You're welsome.

*Frank enters the room.

Frank: I'm sick with butt-squirts. Where's my lamp?

Dee: It's mine.

Dennis: Can you add sugar to the list?

Frank: What list?

Dee: I gotta go to the damn store and get a light bulb.

Charlie: And Doritos!

Frank: Oh yeah! We NEED Doritos!

Dennis: Yes! Yes, we need Doritos Dee!

Dee: Okay, okay. I'll put Doritos at the top of the list.

Dennis: Where's my lamp?

*Mac enters the room.

Mac: Hey Kids, where's my Shake-Weight?

Dee: you still got a Shake-Weight?

Mac: Yeah.

Dennis: Go to the store Dee, we need that damn light bulb!

Dee: Okay, bye.

*Dee leaves the room.

Frank: Do you guys like corn?

Charlie: Oh my God! You guys will never guess what just happened!

Dennis: Did you pee your pants for a third time?

Charlie: Holy shit! How did you know that?

Frank: Stop peeing your pants Charlie. Let's all do some cocaine!

Dennis, Charlie, Mac, Frank: YEAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

*They do cacaine.

The Waitress enters the room.

The Waitress: Where's my lamp?

Frank: Hi waitress.

The Waitress: May I use the bathroom.

Dennis: Yes.

Charlie: I did yellow bathroom all ver my pants.

Frank: Have some toast Charlie.

Dennis: I wish I had some Doritos. I'm going to check on Dee at the store. I have to make sure she doesn't forget the Doritos.

Mac: Great idea. I'll go with you.

*Mac and Dennis leave the room.

The Waitress: Today I was thinking about dwarfs. Do they have a special insurance plan in case someone trips over them. I mean, if you think about it, they can be hard to see and someone could just be walking along and trip over a dwarf (who might be window-shopping or something) and then break their damn leg.

Charlie: Oh shit! I never thought of that.

The Waitress: Yeah! Then the person could sue the dwarf! But if the dwarf has special dwart insurance, then they can just be all like: 'Hey, it's cool, I got dwarf insurace. Everything will be taken care of.' and the person would be like: 'Oh sweet. Good dwarf!'.

Frank: That's a great damn idea Waitress. We could start our own dwarf insurace racket!

Charle: Oh my God! But where are we gonna find the dwarfs?

Frank: You leave that to me. I'm gonna go get Cricket to set up our fraudulent website so we can start bilking money out of these asshole dwarfs!

*Frank leaves the room.

Charlie: You go, bro! Um Waitress, didn't you have to use the bathroom?

The Waitress: I peed my pants.

*They both smile as we fade to black.

*Dee is in the kitchen eating cheese.

Dee: I love cheese!

*Fade to black.

*The End.