YAY, hello readers and welcome to my first Artemis Fowl Fanfic. Hopefully It'll be good, but who can say, for Boo, my entirely random muse is writing it, and I'm not sure whether it is possible for him to be serious.

*Thank you one and all, Bob, his other Muse is arriving home at Christmas, and will be writing the second chapter, he is far more serious than me, but if you like what I've written PLEASE review, then I can write the rest, o and its after eternity code*

*So, on with the story, o yeah first, neither I nor towlieman*

(I'm keeping my identity secret for now)

*Owns Artemis Fowl, or anything else you might recognize, including words, phrases and letters*

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It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Nothing was stirring,

Not even a mouse

As the boy went to his window,

He looked out and sighed,

"I wonder what Sann D'Klass Has brought me tonight."

He frowned, puzzled; "That's strange, why did I say that, it's pronounced 'Santa Claus' and I know he doesn't exist anyway, why does that remind me of something. Probably nothing, I'll search the Internet tomorrow."

Artemis changed into his pyjamas and got into bed, soon he was asleep, with the fire burning happily in its grate.

Just as the clock chimes midnight, the, now almost extinguished, pile of embers start to shift, if you could put your ear to the floor you could hear a chewing sound. The embers shift, and you can make out a pair of beady little eyes. The eyes start to rise, as the embers fall apart, and If you look closely, a dark shape surrounds them, though the figure is less than a meter tall. The figures head shrinks with an audible snap. It walks over to the Christmas tree where he lays a small packaged item on top of the already huge mound of presents.

Then it pads back to the fireplace and disappears, followed by flames shooting out of the fireplace with a "WHUMPH" which woke Artemis up again.

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*So how did I do?* Okay, some reviews are in, a lot more than I expected just for the first chapter, and Boo, either you're really good, or Arty Fowl is a set of fanfics with more reviewers than Discworld or the Italian job, but any way they seem to like it, Bob will write the next chapter, and the reviewers can pick the muse they want, and that one shall carry on the rest of the story. (yes, I know it's a shorty, but watcha gunna do?)