AN: I saw a prompt on Tumblr and I had to write this, despite barely having any free time. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but it ended up being way too long, so I divided it in two. Hope you like it! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia (if I did... oh boy, if I did...)
SEVEN DEADLY SINS
Lust — France
Wrath — England
Pride — Prussia
Envy — Sealand
Gluttony — America
Greed — Netherlands
Sloth — Greece
~{x}~
PART I
I still remember the day I moved into that house. It had taken me quite a while to find some place cheap that didn't look as if it would come crashing down on me at any given minute, but it was more than worth it. It was a nice house: not too big but neither small, close enough to a mall but far from big urban areas. It was a way too nice house to be that cheap; I probably should've questioned it. Back then, however, I couldn't give a crap about anything.
"Now, sign here, Mr. Vargas," the owner said, handing me a few papers, "and we'll be done with all the paperwork."
I did as he said without questioning it.
"You're the new tenant, then!" he exclaimed, cheerful. "Congratulations!"
"Whatever," I grunted as I dragged my suitcase inside. That was all I had for the moment; the following day, all my other stuff would be brought. My brother had offered to help; him… and Antonio.
I had had a crush on Antonio since… well, since forever. He met my brother at a music academy they both attended, and they became great friends practically instantly. It's easy to understand why. They're so alike, the two of them: always smiling and cheering up everyone around them; always laughing and making friends. In comparison, I was… barely a shadow of what they are. That's the reason why I decided to flee from Rome and come to a more secluded area: I was trying to leave Antonio behind. I never stood a chance anyway.
After I unpacked my suitcase in my new bedroom, I decided to go out for a walk to familiarize with the neighbourhood. I'd never been a very sociable person (read: I tend to hate people), but since I was starting anew, well, I considered I could do a change.
I didn't really make any new friends, though I did introduce myself to my new neighbours. There was no one I instantly liked, but neither anyone I instantly hated, which was a big step, knowing me. By the time I came back to the house (some time would have to pass until I could call it home), I was dead tired, and fell asleep as soon as my body hit the bed.
~{x}~
"Have you seen the guy? He's quite the cutie, isn't he?"
"I've seen better. Namely: me."
"Shut up, guys. I'm trying to sleep here."
"He's not bad-looking, but I've seen more gorgeous pastries."
"I wish I was as handsome as he is…"
"Ugly, handsome; doesn't matter as long as he pays the rent."
"You're such wankers, you're making me angry."
~{x}~
The next morning, I woke up to the sound of a car honking right beneath my window. I groaned as I rolled out of bed, yawned, and moved the curtain to take a look. There was a big truck, with Feliciano behind the wheel. (Renting a truck and doing all the hard work myself was cheaper than hiring a company, and although lazy, I was also poor.) When my brother spotted me behind the window, he waved at me, smiling. He then turned to his side… and Antonio's head appeared on my field of vision.
… well, fuck.
He was smiling the brightest smile ever smiled as he, too, waved at me. I waved back, hoping they couldn't see my flushed face, and moved away from the window before I made a fool of myself.
I quickly got dressed and splashed my face with cold water before opening the front door to greet my brother and the most perfect man in Italy, Spain and probably the rest of Europe.
"Hi, Lovi!" Feli beamed as he launched himself over me, demanding a hug. "Is this really your new house? It looks great!"
"It does," I agreed, patting his back while at the same time trying to push him away. "Come on, the sooner we start, the sooner it'll be over," I urged.
We walked to the back of the truck, where Antonio was already unloading it.
"Hello, Lovino," he said with that incredibly sexy accent of his. (Have I mentioned he's Spanish? I don't know if it's because of that, but everything he ever says or does is unbelievingly alluring.) "That's a nice house you've gotten."
"I— uh, yeah, it is. Thanks," I stuttered. Sometimes I wondered how he could possibly not know how head-over-heels I was for him.
It took us the whole morning and a little of the afternoon to finish unloading the truck and getting everything into its respective room. It was very hot, and Antonio ended up taking off his shirt, which turned me into a blushing, quivering mess whenever I happened to walk by his side. If you ever saw the guy, you'd understand. He could pass as Michelangelo's David's model! His presence was so disturbing, I had to visit the bathroom quite a few times during the day (to splash my face, you dirty-minded bastards!) and I was so relieved when we were done.
"It took us less time than I had thought," Antonio commented as he put on his shirt again. Is that a crime? It should be a crime. For a moment, I considered getting into politics just to pass a law that forced Antonio to be shirtless when in front of me. "And the house is lovely! You should invite us over sometime, eh, Lovino?"
"Uh— yeah, well, maybe, we'll see," I answered, stumbling over the words. Seriously, how could he not know? "Thanks for… helping and stuff."
"No problem," he smiled. Then, he turned to Feliciano, and it felt as though the sun had been clouded. "We should probably get going."
"Yes! See you soon, Lovi!" my brother chirped, hugging me. "I'm going to miss you!"
It took forever for him to finally let go of me, and I rushed inside before his limpet instinct kicked in again. I went to my bedroom, from where I could see Feli and Antonio still chatting and laughing. They seemed to be arguing over who got to drive. Well, argue might be too strong a word — they were playing rock, scissors, paper. The idiots.
Antonio won, and his smile grew, if possible, even wider. He climbed on the driver's seat, which meant I could still see him a little longer. He kept talking and laughing as he put on the seatbelt, checked the rear-view, put on the radio. Why was everything he did so captivating? I watched him until he drove the truck away, and even then I remained where I was, forehead pressed against the glass, gaze lost.
"Oh dear, you are so into that guy, aren't you?"
"You bet," I sighed.
There was a moment of silence.
Then I remembered I was supposed to be home alone.
Then I shrieked and ran to the other end of the room.
"Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here?!"
Standing right next to where I had been merely seconds ago there was a guy, not much older than me. He had long, wavy hair, blonde, and sky-blue eyes. Also, a stubble that would've looked stupid on anyone else, but that somehow made him look more handsome. (Yes, I thought he was handsome. To be fair, he was, though I do realize that's not what you're supposed to think about housebreakers.)
"Ah, yes, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself." He walked to my side, straightened and coughed before presenting his hand for a handshake: "I'm one of the seven demons that live here."
"D-D-Demons?" I stuttered.
"Demons. Or spirits, if you want. You may call me Lust."
"L-L-Lust?"
"Yes. Are you familiar with the Seven Deadly Sins? That would be us. I'm sorry, what's your name?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. My mouth was dry, my mind was shocked. I couldn't speak, nor think.
"You idiot!" someone yelled, and then another man joined us. He was blond, too, but had short hair and green eyes, as well as two massive eyebrows. "I thought I told you not to scare him!"
The first one —Lust— shrugged.
"Come on, Wrath, he was going to be scared anyway! Right, New Homeowner?"
I managed a nod.
"See? So we'd better get over with this soon. I'm sorry, you still haven't told me your name."
"I— Lovino," I said when I finally got my voice back. "This is a joke, right? Are you friends of Feli?"
"A joke?" a third voice joined. "A joke?! How dare you, little one!" A man appeared right in front of me: he was pale and grey-haired (an albino, I realized) and had red eyes. He looked scary. "The others, maybe; but I won't tolerate having my grandiose person being called a joke!"
"Easy there, Pride," Lust scolded him. "Don't harass him; he's still getting used to us."
And then I fainted.
~{x}~
As I slowly regained consciousness, I heard worried voices around me. The first coherent thought that crossed my mind was that I was in a hospital; that I must have fainted from exhaustion and that those… deadly sins had been nothing more than a product of my imagination.
However, when I opened my eyes, what I saw wasn't the clean white of hospital walls, but my new bedroom's ceiling. And, soon after, a childish face that hovered over mine.
"You alright?" the kid asked.
"Who are you?"
"Envy," he answered; and then insisted: "You okay?"
"I'm… not sure," I said, honestly. I moved slowly to a sitting position and looked around me. Besides the kid —Envy?— there were five more people. Three, I already knew: Lust and Wrath seemed to be bickering in a hushed tone about God knew what, while Pride checked himself out in my mirror. One of the other two rushed to my side:
"How you feelin', dude?" he exclaimed. "You should get something to eat! Food's the world's best medicine, I tell you!"
"Back off, Glut," the last one ordered, grabbing him —Gluttony, apparently— from his cowlick and pulling him away. "You always spend way too much on food, and let me remind you that you already blew your part in those glasses of yours."
That one had to be Greed. He was tall and well-built, and had a scar over his right eyebrow. He looked scary.
I was scared.
Fuck, now I knew why the house was so fucking cheap!
"Easy there, Lovino," Lust said, rushing to my side. Only then I realized I had started to hyperventilate. "It's okay; we're not gonna hurt you. Think of us as… your flatmates, yes? We're just your supernatural flatmates."
I swallowed as I tried to calm down my agitated breath. My brain was still trying to function (and failing drastically).
"My— my flatmates," I repeated, stuttering a little. "Just my flatmates."
"That's it!" Lust smiled. "We may be called demons, but that doesn't mean we're evil or anything like that. We won't hurt you."
"As long as you pay the rent," Greed added from behind him.
Finally, I started to calm down. Everything was surreal and I wasn't fully convinced that they weren't going to hurt me, but… well, it's not like I had much to lose.
And that's how I started to live with seven demons. Way much more nonchalantly than normal people would.
I didn't meet the last one until a few days after having moved in, though. I had gone to the kitchen to make myself a mid-afternoon snack when I almost tripped on a cat.
"The fuck? Where did you come from?" I questioned, picking him up and looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Heeeey… Put him down… before he bites you… He only lets me… pick him up."
I turned, surprised to hear a voice I didn't know, and saw a guy sat at the table, idly eating some cereal. He had long, messy, brown hair and tired olive eyes. His movements were slow, as if it took him a lot of energy to do everything. He instantly reminded me of a sloth.
That's when I realized who he was.
"You're Sloth, huh?" I said, doing as he had asked and putting down the cat. "How come I'm only meeting you now?"
"I was… taking a nap," he answered in the same slow tone.
"For three days?"
He didn't answer. He had fallen asleep on his cereals.
"Don't take it personal," Lust said, appearing right by my side, making me flinch. (All of them were incredibly sneaky; it wasn't the first time, nor it would be the last, in which one of them almost gave me a heart-attack.) "It happens to him with everyone. Hey, Sloth! Wake up! Go to your bed for that!"
It took him a while to wake the other up, and then he practically had to drag him away. I could tell they all had a lot of experience in dealing with him.
~{x}~
A week passed, and I slowly got used to my surprise "flatmates". They were quite nice, much more than you'd expect from demons, and especially them being who they were. Yes, sometimes they'd get outbursts and behave excessively according to their sin (I once had to punch Lust in the face to get him off me), but they were nice to be around when they were normal.
The ones who spent more time with me were Pride and Lust. They were a bit annoying, but quite fun to be around. Wrath joined from time to time, and he always ended up arguing with Lust. I once called them "old-married couple" and Lust gave me a weird look. He didn't say anything, though, because Pride was laughing so hard he choked and he had to rush to save him.
As for the others, well, I talked to them when they were around, but most of the time they were each one busy with their things. Greed spent most of his time trying to convince Gluttony to, and I quote, please stop being such a fat fuck and spending so much on food. Gluttony never listened, which prompted for them to fight a lot; fights that were always stopped by Wrath, who would later scold them both for hours. Envy was always following someone around, either me or one of the other demons, and trying to imitate everything we did. And Sloth… Sloth slept through all of this.
One afternoon, I was calmly chatting with Pride when the bell rang. I frowned. I wasn't expecting anyone, and I doubted any of the demons were.
"Aren't you going to answer?" Pride asked after I failed to move.
"Ah, yes."
I rushed to the front door. Lust was already there, looking through the peephole. When he heard us, he moved aside and winked at me. I didn't give it much thought, since I had already gotten used to him doing stuff like that all the time… until I opened the door.
There, sharply dressed, as if he had come out of a dream, Mister Sunshine, the Man of the Thousand Smiles, the one and only.
"Hi, Lovino," Antonio beamed when he saw me.
"I— You— What— Uh— Hi?" I stuttered, not managing to link two words together.
"I had a job interview this morning, and it was close, and when I finished I thought I could come by. How's the new house?"
I opened and closed my mouth a few times, unable to speak. Me? He had decided to pay ME a visit?
"Well…" he went on when I failed to answer. "It's quite likely that I get the job, so I was thinking maybe you could show me around? I know you've been living for a short time here, but surely you know the place better than me. So? What do you say?"
I could've fainted right there and then. In fact, if I didn't it was only because, behind me, Pride and Lust held me firmly in place. My mind had a hard time understanding the situation: the man of my dreams, Mister Dreamy Green Eyes, was asking me to go for a walk with him. My heart began to beat frantically in my chest as I considered the offer.
Pros: spending some time with Antonio.
Cons: most likely making a fool of myself, failing to talk to him, making him lose every tiny piece of interest he may have in me.
"W-Well," I finally managed to say. My mouth was dry. "That sounds great, but I, uh, I'm kinda busy at the moment, so— I'd love to, really, but I— can't."
"Oh," he said, his smile weakening. "Well, that's a shame. I guess I'll go alone, then. See you!"
"B-Bye."
I fell against the door the moment I closed it. My breath and heartbeat were still wild, and I felt my cheeks burning. Slowly, I slid until I sat on the floor and buried my face between my knees.
"Uh— wasn't that the guy who helped you move in?" Lust asked after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.
"Yes."
"The one you kept drooling over?"
"Yes."
"The one that had you gazing through the window as in a sad music video?"
"Yes."
"Did you just refuse going out with him?"
"… yes."
I could literally hear him facepalm.
"And why is that?"
"Be-Because I wouldn't know what to talk about and he'd soon be bored and would never want to see me again, and then I'd die alone and I don't want to die alone because that's so sad and—"
"Well, fuck," Pride interrupted me, brash. "We're going to have to do something about that self-esteem of yours."
~{x}~
I hadn't really agreed to it, but it's not like Pride gave a flying fuck about that. He dragged me to the living room, where he moved all the furniture away so that we had space. For what, I didn't know.
Lust sat on the couch, clearly expecting to enjoy what was to come. I went to his side and couched to get his attention.
"Yes, dear?"
"Hey, I was thinking—"
He gasped. I punched him.
"I said I was thinking," I went on, annoyed, "that you two were standing behind me all the time; how come Antonio didn't see you?"
"Because we didn't show ourselves to him," he answered, rubbing his cheek. "People will only see us if we want them to."
"O—kay, not creepy at all," I mumbled.
Pride called me then, and I sighed as I dragged myself to where he was. I heard quiet chuckles behind me, and I turned to see all other Sins had come and were piled up on the couch, watching me with amused eyes. Gluttony had come with six buckets of popcorn; however, he slapped every hand that threatened to take some. Apparently, they were all for him.
All my attention was back to Pride, though, the moment he went full military and started to yell:
"What's with that pose? Don't hunch!" He pushed my shoulders back, forcing me to straighten my back. "Now, chin up! Arms on the sides; don't hide behind them!" As he talked, he kept moving me as if I were a doll, making me adopt the stance he wanted. "Okay, that's much better," he smirked, satisfied. "How do you feel?"
"Stupid."
"That won't do," he sighed. "Come on, Lovino Vargas, you can't be confident if you don't try! And, I tell you, the way you stand is very important. Have you ever seen me hunching?"
"No."
"Ever seen me downcast?"
"No."
"Ever seen me in a defensive pose?"
"No."
"Hah! And have you ever seen me defeated, crying like a baby and with my pride shattered?"
"I have!" Greed called from the spontaneous audience.
Pride turned to glare at him. "You, shut up!" he yelled, menacing, before turning to me. "Well, have you?"
"Uh— no."
"Exactly!" he exclaimed, proud of himself. "So, I don't want to see you looking like a zombie ever again. Are we clear?"
"Yes, sir," I rolled my eyes.
"Sir?" he repeated, indignant. "Sir?! No, no, no, Lovino, there's no sir. You are the one in charge."
"Huh?"
"You heard me. Who's number one?"
"According to the TIME Magazine, last year it was Trump, but—"
"No!" he interrupted. "The answer is you," he said, emphasising the last word. "Now, let's try again: who's number one?"
"You?"
"NO!"
Behind me, Gluttony and Lust burst out laughing outrageously loud, covering the quieter laughs of the others. I blushed, finally understanding what Pride meant.
"Okay, let's try one more time," he said, rubbing his face as if trying to gather some more patience. "Who's number one?"
"I am?"
"Yes! But don't question it: who's number one?"
"I am."
"Who's number one?"
"I am."
"Who's number one?!"
"I am!"
"Who's number one?!"
"I am!"
"WHO'S NUMBER ONE?!"
"I AM!"
"WHO'S NUMBER ONE?‼"
"I AM‼"
I'm not sure how many times he asked, as I don't know why we kept talking louder and louder until we were screaming at the top of our lungs. The surprising thing was that, unbelievingly, I did feel better.
I didn't tell Pride, though. He'd be insufferable if I did.
~{x}~
For some reason, Lust decided that I needed his help as well. Two days after my let's-scream-who's-number-one session with Pride, he shook me awake one morning, smiling playfully; dragged me out of bed, forced me to eat breakfast, and pushed me in my car.
"Where are we going?" I yawned as he drove.
"Shopping," he answered. "I took the liberty of looking through your wardrobe and I'm sorry, but you need new clothes. You don't have any sense of style! And you call yourself Italian…"
I considered arguing, because hey, I was (and am, thank you very much) a purely bred Italian, and I did (and still do, thank you very much) have a very good fashion sense. However, I was very sleepy to get into an argument, so I let it pass. I'd plan a revenge later.
He parked in the mall and pulled me out of the car, dragging me after him.
"We need to find the style that really suits you; the one that'll make you the target of everyone's gazes."
"I'm not sure I want that."
"You will once Pride's done with you," he chuckled.
"Wait— there's more of that?!"
Lust didn't answer. Actually, he barely spoke as he dragged me from one store to another, forcing me to try on thousands of shirts, trousers and suits. It was as if he had suddenly stopped being the personification of a sin to become a stylist. He would stare at me, his chin resting on his hand as he let out small pondering noises; then he would mutter something like "not enough" or "there's something missing", and would make me change dozens of times until he was happy with the result. I learnt to recognize when that happened: his eyes would light up and the corners of his mouth would curl up in a satisfied smile. The rest of the time, he looked completely stoic, like a professional.
It was almost four in the afternoon when we finally went back home. He had selected a lot of new clothes for me, but due to my limited budget he had to get rid of some. That's when I discovered just how melodramatic he could be: he kept sighing and shedding a tear whenever he returned an item to the shop's shelves.
"Hey, there!" Envy greeted us when we got home. "How was the shopping?"
"Wonderful!" Lust said.
"Terrible," I grunted at the same time.
"I sense someone's in a bad mood," Wrath said, appearing suddenly by my side. "What happened? Oh, wait, I know." He made a pause. Then he pointed at Lust. "You've spent the whole morning with him, haven't you?"
"Oi!" Lust protested, offended. "Do you have a problem with me, Lord Eyebrows?"
"Oh no," Wrath smiled dangerously, "I have many problems with you."
And then they were, once again, bickering in one of their many quarrels. I rolled my eyes (I had started to do that quite a lot) and started to make my way to the bedroom. However, Gluttony suddenly appeared in front of me, a greasy hamburger in hand.
"Hold on there! I made lunch today— you're not eating?"
My gaze flickered to the abomination in his hand.
"Oh, don't worry," he smiled. "This is my dessert."
Dessert?! I thought, scandalized. Thank God he wasn't human, because had he been, he would've died many years ago.
"For you lot, I made lasagne," he finished, still smiling.
"Lasagne?" I repeated slowly. That sounded good. I could use some lasagne.
"I knew you'd like it!" Gluttony exclaimed, happy, as he took me by the hand and dragged me to the kitchen. "I know a whole morning with Lust can be exhausting— don't tell him I said that," he ranted as he forced me to sit down and brought me a plate full of food.
I started to devour it (I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast!) and oh my, it was absolutely de-li-cious. Gluttony sat with me and started to tell me how he had followed a recipe he had found in one of my cook books and how happy he was with the result.
"It's very nice," I praised him. "Congratulations."
"Well, as I said, you deserved something like this after having been the whole morning with Lust."
Sloth came in, yawning and dragging his feet, and served himself some lasagne.
"You've spent… the whole morning… with Lust?" he asked in the same monotone way as usual (though I could've sworn I noticed some admiration in it). "And you haven't… killed him? After lunch… go take a nap… You've earned it."
I raised an eyebrow.
"You know, when I moved here, I didn't expect to find seven new mothers," I said, mocking.
Although, truth be told, it felt nice to have seven, uh, "people" watching over me and helping me improve.
I did take a nap.
~{x}~
A month passed until Pride and Lust finally deemed my… training was complete. During that time, everyone put some effort in helping me.
Pride would randomly appear beside me and yell "Who's number one?"; if I failed to answer, he gave me a half-an-hour-long talk about how "incredibly awesome" I was. One day in which I was particularly stressed (work issues), he forced me to stand in the living room, him in front of me, and we screamed at each other until I felt relieved.
Lust wouldn't stop reminding me to take care of my looks. He taught me how to stand, how to walk, how to talk; he made sure I wouldn't go unnoticed anymore. He also put a lot of effort in teaching me how to flirt. I learnt when I had to be direct, when I had to be coy, when I should be the one taking the lead and when I should let myself be seduced. It was nice, save for those times when he got a bit carried away and I had to fight to get him off me (once it was Wrath who had to tackle him and hold him against the floor until he cooled down).
It was precisely Wrath who, surprisingly, taught me how to control my nerves. I used to be a tad violent, jumping at the smallest provocation and snarling at anyone who pissed me off in the slightest. Wrath taught me how to channel all that rage. "Don't get physical," he said. "Use words. There are few things more satisfactory than watching your enemy unable to retort to your burn."
Gluttony didn't really teach me anything, but he looked after me in his own way. He sensed when I was needy, and every time I was hungry, he showed up with a snack or a delicious meal. I learnt that he loved being the saviour, so I started to play damsel in distress whenever he appeared with the food. "Oh my, just when I was daydreaming about spaghetti, you show up with some!" His face brightened up and he always played along, laughing loudly (a bit obnoxiously) as he claimed to be my hero.
After much insistence from his part, I finally let Greed take care of the finances and well, I must admit he helped me save a lot. He didn't let me indulge in many things; wouldn't let me buy anything on a whim. He'd always ask me if I really needed that, what were my reasons to want it, if I'd be happier if I had it. It was a bit (very) annoying at first, but in the end I had to admit that, thanks to him, my economy wasn't as bad as it had been before I moved.
Envy… Well, he did this to everyone, but the truth is that he did help me be more confident. Whenever he saw me doing something, he'd watch in awe and say that it was so cool, that he wished he was as skilled and talented as me. I knew he only said those things because it was his nature, but hey, I did feel pumped up afterwards.
And Sloth… was Sloth. I'd only see him every few days, but when I did, he always asked how I was sleeping, if I was taking enough rest, if I wasn't pushing myself too hard at work. If he wasn't satisfied with my answers, he made an effort and stayed awake more often to make sure I slept enough.
As I said before, all of this took over a month. I didn't understand why they all suddenly considered that they were done, and when I asked them, they just shrugged and said: "You've changed enough".
It took me time to realize they were trying to make me a better person, and if they had pushed it too far, they would've ended up turning me into a massive asshole.
~{x}~
"Well, well, well…" Lust said, sitting by my side. It was the first weekend after they had stopped with their so-called training, so it surprised me to see him wearing that smirk of his. It usually meant he had something up his sleeve, and I thought we were done with his tricks! "Shall we see if our efforts have paid off?"
"What do you mean?" I grunted as I typed on my laptop. I didn't work on weekends, but my boss had practically begged me to send some emails, and as much as I wished to tell him to go fuck himself, I couldn't (Greed had helped a lot, but I still needed a job to, you know, not starve to death).
"We're going out, of course," he answered. "When you're finished with that, go get dressed. Pride and I are taking you partying."
I stopped typing to send him an unbelieving look.
"Partying?" I repeated. "What for?"
"As I said, to see what we have achieved during all this time." He spoke calmly, but I could see in his eyes how excited he was. "Aren't you curious? Don't you want to see how much you've changed?"
I paused for a moment, considering his words. Part of me was very curious, yes. I was dying to go out there and show the world the new me. Another part of me, smaller yet strong, was terrified of doing so and discovering that I was still a nobody. If Pride found out about that, he'd be very pissed off, but what can I say? Old habits are difficult to change.
In the end, however, I couldn't help but agree to Lust's proposition.
"Okay," I sighed. "Let's go out."
Of course, I didn't expect for him and Pride to actually come with me.
When I got ready to leave, I was shocked to see them waiting for me at the doorstep. They were both nicely dressed (Pride had even combed his hair—?!) and chatted and chuckled, clearly excited.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled the moment I saw them.
"We're going with you!" Pride said, his chest puffing up. "We want to see first-hand the result of our awesome work."
Needless to say, I protested.
Needless to say, they didn't care and came anyway.
"I can't believe we're doing this," I sighed as they dragged me inside the first club we found.
It had loud music, and smoke machines, and colourful lights; there were many people dancing, some on the bar ordering drinks, and a few passed out on the couches. It wasn't my favourite place in the world, but it's not like we were going to find anything better, so I resigned myself to a couple of hours of that.
"Let's find yourself a cute partner, yes?" Lust said in my ear as I made my way to the bar.
"And remember: you're number one!" Pride said in the other.
I rolled my eyes and tried with all my might to ignore them. When I finally reached the bar and found a free stool, I ordered the first drink I could think of. Okay, Lovino, relax, I told myself. You're going to show those two fuckers what you can do all by yourself. I felt someone patting my shoulder. Thinking it must be either Pride or Lust, I turned to yell at them.
"Lovino? It really is you! What a nice surprise!"
… well, fuck.
Before me was Mister Perfection, Lord Gorgeous, Sunshine Man, staring at me with those incredibly green eyes of his, a bright grin plastered on his face.
"I didn't expect to meet you here," he went on, taking a sit by my side. "When I saw you come in, I wasn't sure it was you. By the way, are those two—" he pointed at my back, "friends of yours?"
I tried to say something (deny it or confirm it, I didn't know), but my two companions were faster than me.
"Hello, I'm Francis," Lust introduced himself, offering Antonio a handshake.
"And I'm His Awesomeness, though you may call me Gilbert," Pride said, doing the same.
Francs? Gilbert? What kind of names were those? I couldn't help but wonder if they had improvised them on the spot or had thought them beforehand.
Antonio, unlike me, seemed to like their introduction, for he laughed and shook their hands.
"I'm Antonio. Pleased to meet you!"
"Of course you are," Pride winked, smug.
We soon were engaged in a conversation. Rather, the three of them talked and I listened. I could see Pride and Lust were making efforts to get me to talk, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Truth be told, I was a little mad at how wonderfully Antonio had connected with the two of them: they were laughing and drinking together as if they had known each other since forever! Besides, I was busy trying to remember all of Lust's flirting advice, and waiting for the opportune moment to start dropping hints. It never seemed to come.
It never came.
When Lust was telling Antonio an anecdote about "his boyfriend Arthur" (I realized that he had described Wrath when talking about him; I wasn't sure he'd like to know that), a fifth person joined us. And then I wished I hadn't left home.
"Toni!" a girl called as she walked towards us. She was very pretty: shoulder-length blond hair; big, green eyes; a candid smile. "So you were here! I couldn't find you anywhere!" she laughed.
Antonio's face brightened up when he saw her.
"Hi, Emma," he beamed, reaching out for her.
She took his hand. He pulled. She giggled.
They kissed.
~{x}~
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" she asked, playful.
"Ah, yes, sorry. Guys," he smiled, "this is my girlfriend, Emma. Emma, these are Francis, Gilbert and Lovino. Do you remember Feli? My friend from the music academy? That's his brother."
"Of course I remember Feli," Emma smiled. "You didn't mention he had a brother! Pleased to meet you," she added.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, the pleasure's mine," I answered, faking a smile. I had barely listened to them: I was too busy staring at Emma's hands on Antonio's shoulder, and at Antonio's arm around Emma's waist, and thinking about how much I wanted to die.
"So— how did you two meet?" Lust asked, probably trying to get their attention off me.
As Antonio told him, I felt a knot in my throat growing with each word.
"… gotten out of a job interview…"
I felt like crying.
"… went to take a look around the area…"
Why was that happening?
"… met in the park— it was love at first sight!"
After a while, Antonio suggested going to dance a bit. Lust and Pride agreed; I refused, excusing myself saying that my knee hurt. The only one who bothered to give me a somewhat worried glance as they left was Lust. I ignored him.
I ordered another drink ("The strongest you have, please") and I started to (try to) drink my sadness away. My mind didn't cooperate, though, and kept showing me the images I was trying to delete: Emma and Antonio hugging, Emma and Antonio laughing together, Emma and Antonio kissing.
Emma and Antonio meeting on the day I had refused to accompany him.
I couldn't stop wondering if, had I gone with Antonio that day, I could have prevented it. If I had accepted his offer, then maybe he wouldn't have met Emma. Maybe— Maybe he would've fallen for me instead of her. I realized it was too late to regret my choices, but I couldn't help going through all those "what if".
I was startled out of my thoughts when an incredibly happy Antonio appeared by my side, asking for a glass of water, and then turning to look at me with his usual cheerful expression.
"Lovino, your friends are awesome!" he laughed.
"Yeah, I guess," I shrugged.
"Huh? Are you alright?" he asked. He sounded worried.
"I— No, I'm not feeling well," I answered. "I think I'm going to head home. Can you tell Lu— Francis and Gilbert?"
"Sure." He drank his water all at once and smiled at me one last time. "Hope you get better!" he called as he got lost in the crowd.
I cried all the way back home.
~{x}~
The next day, after Lust and Pride got over the hangover (I didn't want to imagine how much they had had to drink to get themselves, proper demons, so incredibly pissed), they told the others what had happened. Gluttony was quick to buy two ice cream jars (one for me; another for himself) to "help me kill the pain with an overdose of sugar", and Envy forced me to sit on the couch and hugged me for at least ten minutes. I didn't talk to Pride and Lust.
They noticed, of course, and tried to start conversations. I, however, wouldn't forgive them for having abandoned me on the very moment when my life had come crashing down. I snapped, once, and yelled at them, screaming in frustration about how betrayed I felt. They stood there, downcast, not saying a word. When I was done, I was on the verge of tears, but I couldn't care less.
Pride muttered an apology and left.
Lust stayed.
"Lovino…" he hawked after a while. "I'm terribly sorry we left you alone back then. I guess we didn't realize how much you needed us."
I snorted as I dropped myself on the couch, facing the opposite way. I was tempted to tell him where he could shove his apologies, but I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anybody.
However, he did, apparently, want to talk to me.
"I can still help, you know," he said, slowly. That caught my attention. When he saw that I turned to look at him, he went on: "I can make them break up." He took a deep breath. "I can have Emma lust after another guy; she cheats, he finds out, they break up."
I stared at him, blinking slowly. Did he really mean that? I shook my head.
"Don't," I said quietly. "Don't do that."
"Why not? I'm perfectly capable of—"
"That would break his heart," I stated. "Don't do it."
"He'd be free," he insisted. "You would have a chance to—"
"I said don't, alright?" I snapped. "I don't want to just sleep with him," I growled. "That's lust, and what I feel for him is not lust. It's love. Not that you understand love," I added after a moment.
"Does anyone?" he asked, a soft smile on his face. I didn't know what to answer. "Okay, then," he sighed. "Since you so fervently forbid it, I won't cause their breakup. I just have a question for you." He leant forwards, a curious glint in his eyes: "How are you so sure that what you feel for Antonio is love?"
That was a funny question. Truth is, I, too, had thought that it was nothing more than a crush, just plain lust after a man who, let's be fair, was very easy to lust after. I hadn't realized that I had indeed fallen for him until Lust's proposition.
"Because I'd rather have him being happy with someone else than making him suffer with the vague hope of getting him."
That was the end of the conversation.
After that, they all started to take care of me again. I won't lie: it felt nice to have people looking after me, even if they did it out of pity. Since I was mad at Lust and Pride, I started to seek the others' company. Gluttony and Envy gladly filled the void (and Sloth, too, when he wasn't comatose).
Gluttony started to cook once again, only that this time he required my help. I knew he did it to keep me busy and prevent me from overthinking, but I did it nonetheless because it worked and fuck, I needed it.
Cooking soon became my main pastime. I practically spent more time in the kitchen than in my bedroom, cooking meals and baking cakes. The latter was great: as we worked, Envy would stare at us from the door, eyes wide and mouth drooling; then, the three of us would sit together on the couch and eat cake as we watched whichever stupid movie happened to be on TV. Sometimes, the smell would lure Sloth out of his dreams and he'd drag himself to the couch, sit with us, eat some, and then fall asleep next to us. His cat (I found out he was called Ferdinand) would join as well, and after bribing him with cake, I finally managed to pet him.
"I wish I were a cat," I sighed one of those days. Ferdinand was lying on my lap, purring as I stroked him.
"Me too," Envy agreed.
"Why, though?" Gluttony asked as he scraped the rests of cake off his plate.
"Cats don't have worries. People love them, and they get away with being assholes because they're cute."
Gluttony let out a pondering 'hmm'.
"If I could choose," he said after a moment, "I'd be a dog."
"Dogs are way too sensitive," I argued. "They see their master petting another dog, they get jealous. And I'm already jealous enough, thanks," I added, making a face when I realized where the conversation had led me to.
"You're not jealous," Envy said then, matter-of-factly. "You're envious."
I blinked. "What's the difference?" I asked, frowning.
"Jealousy is fearing someone will take from you something you love," he explained. "Envy is wanting something that someone else has."
"Huh. Whatever. Jealous or envious, I don't care; what matters is that I want to be a cat."
"But if you were a cat, you wouldn't get to enjoy all this delicious food we cook," Gluttony reasoned.
"We have… a lot to learn… from cats…" Sloth yawned (when had he woken up?). "Like… taking life… with ease…" He half-opened his eyes to gaze at me. "But being… a house cat… is boring…"
"How do you know?"
"Ferdinand told me…"
That's how I found out they could talk to animals. Not that I ever used that bit of information, but it was cool to know.
~{x}~
One day, after Gluttony pointed out that I hadn't left home in one too many days (working from home enabled me to do that), I decided to go out for a walk. There was a park close to home; I thought it'd be nice to stroll around. What's the worst that could happen?
…
Perhaps meeting a certain couple I wanted to avoid. They'd met there, hadn't they? And they looked like the typical couple who would want to revisit that place weekly.
With those thoughts in mind, I considered not going out, but then Wrath showed up by my side and said: "I'm going with you". I couldn't say no to him because… Fuck, because he still scared me, okay? He and Greed were the ones who had kept their distance, I hadn't gotten to know them as I knew the others, and they were scary.
So I muttered a quiet 'okay', and off we went.
He didn't say anything for the first fifteen minutes or so, which started to make me anxious. Why had he come? Did he want to leave the house and was using me as an excuse? Or he just wanted to make sure I wasn't going to jump off a bridge?
"Lovino."
He startled me. Getting anxious over him not talking didn't mean I actually wanted him to.
"W-What?"
"I'd like to ask you something. It's about that… sensitive topic."
"Oh." I considered it for a minute. "Go ahead."
"Antonio's new girlfriend— do you hate her?"
I frowned. Though, thinking about it, it was a good question. Did I hate Emma? I pondered about it for a while.
"No," I finally answered. "No, I don't think so. I am terribly jealous— envious," I corrected myself, "but I don't hate her. As long as she makes him happy…"
He nodded.
"Why did you ask?"
"I hadn't seen you showing any anger, and I thought you were angry. Lust said you weren't, but I wanted to make sure for myself."
"Why?"
He glanced sideways at me.
"You shouldn't let anger bottle-up inside you. It slowly eats you. If that were happening to you, I would've made sure to make you let it all out."
Well, wasn't that thoughtful. And here I thought he barely cared about me. I quietly thanked him for his worry, and he accepted it with a nod. His questions, however, didn't stop there.
"What about Pride and Lust?"
"… I am mad at them," I admitted.
Then I wished I hadn't, since he basically forced me to vent. He made me tell him exactly what had happened that night; what reasons I had to be mad at them; why I still was. However, by the time we were done, I did feel a bit better.
"I can't believe I'm going to defend those two," Wrath sighed, "but… they have their reasons for what they did."
I looked at him, surprised. What reason could Pride and Lust have to leave me alone at that awful moment? I asked him, but he refused to answer.
"That story is theirs to tell," he said, stern, making me understand that he wasn't going to say anything else about that subject.
I didn't pester him with questions. Not because I wanted to be considerate, but because I didn't want to anger him. He was the freaking personification of Wrath — I didn't want him losing his shit with me by his side. So we both walked in silence until he suddenly stopped, abruptly; and when I turned to look at him, I was surprised to see a reluctant look on his face.
"What is it?" I asked, a bit worried. Okay, very worried. He was a demon, for fuck's sake! What could possibly make him look like that?
"Can we go back?" he requested, slowly. "We have wandered far enough from home."
He sent me an almost pleading stare, and I was quick to agree. Thankfully, he explained himself as we started to make our way back:
"We— We are kind of… bounded to that house. The farther we are from it, the weaker our powers get." He made a pause to sigh deeply. "Pride once tried to go a bit too far and almost died."
"He almost what?!"
"He— collapsed, and his nose started to bleed. I still don't know how he managed to drag himself to a place where we could pick him up. But he survived, obviously, so it wasn't too terrible." He stopped for a moment, his face telling me he was considering whether Pride surviving had been the best outcome of the situation. "At first we thought that maybe it had been because he was walking towards the Vatican, so Lust tried going the opposite way. Same result," he sighed, muttering under his breath something like 'stupid pricks'.
"So you can't move around? That sucks."
"Indeed. At least that one pub you went to with Pride and Lust is within our range," he mumbled. It was a poor consolation, really.
"Well, when you go, make sure your stupid friends don't drink." I rolled my eyes. "They really can't handle their alcohol."
He glanced at me.
"That was just because they were far from the house," he replied. "I can assure you they're very good at handling their alcohol; particularly Pride. He's German, after all."
I stopped walking, shocked.
"He's what?" I stuttered. Had he said Pride was German? As in, from Germany? I was so confused. Did Hell have countries? Was Hell a cheap copy of Earth with cheap continents and nations? … was I in Hell? (That would explain a lot…)
Wrath narrowed his eyes. He clearly was mentally smacking himself for having said too much. He breathed deeply, and then shook his head.
"Nothing. Come on, let's go back."
He refused to say anything else all the way back.
I had questions. A lot. But Wrath warned the others, and the minute I tried to talk to them about anything remotely related to nationalities and their weird house-boundary, they immediately changed the subject. Greed and Wrath simply walked away, Gluttony started to stuff his face with the first thing he found in the fridge ("Sowy, man, I cwan't ffpeak!"), Envy somehow summoned Wrath to get him out of there, Pride covered his ears and started to chant "Na na naaaaa I can't hear youuuuu!", and Sloth… fell asleep right on the spot.
And then there was Lust. He did avoid my questions, like everyone else, but he always gave me a sad look. It was as if he wanted to tell me, but couldn't. Why that was, I didn't understand, and it only made me come up with more and more questions.
~{x}~
Trying to get information from a bunch of demons was, and believe me when I say this, exhausting. And Our Lord and Saviour Google didn't help (yes, I never thought that sentence would ever be uttered either, but here we are), so I had no means to find out anything if they didn't tell me themselves. Expect for, maybe, driving all the way to the Vatican and explaining to the Pope that I had been living with the Seven Deadly Sins and could he get me some Holy Water to threaten them with if they kept refusing to answer my questions?
… yeah, probably not.
As I was saying, it was rather exhausting, and also things were starting to get a bit tense between us, so one afternoon I thought I should go out for a walk to cool myself.
Best.
Decision.
Ever.
As I was strolling through the park with no destination in mind, I saw him: Radiant Man, Mister Bright Smile, Happiness Personified himself. Only, he didn't look radiant, nor was he smiling brightly, and looked more depressed than happy.
Before I knew it, I was walking straight to the bench were he was sat, absently crumbling some biscuits and throwing them for the pigeons to eat.
"H-Hey, Antonio," I greeted when I reached him.
He looked up at me, startled out of his thoughts, and smiled a weak and not Antonio-like smile.
"Hey," he answered, low and monotone.
"What's with the long face?" I asked, hoping I wasn't being too direct.
He sighed heavily and smashed one of the crackers.
"Emma and I broke up," he mumbled, angrily throwing the crumbles to the ground.
Oh.
On the one hand, Antonio was free again!
On the other hand, it sucked seeing him feeling so low.
"That's bad," I said, sitting by his side. Then I had a suspicion. "She— she didn't cheat or anything, right?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant while deep inside swearing I'd murder Lust with my own hands if he had dared to do anything.
"God, no," Antonio snorted. "We had a fight, that's all. A big one," he added after a moment, his gaze lost somewhere in front of us. "Huge."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm not even sad."
I raised an eyebrow as I looked at him. Not sad my ass! He was downcast, hunching — he was feeding pigeons!
"You don't look not sad," I pointed out.
"I— I am… but I'm not… Fuck, it's complicated."
"You bet," I muttered.
"It's like…" he tried to explain himself again. "It's like I'm not sad over having broken up with Emma, and that makes me sad, because it means I didn't really love her; because if I did love her like I thought I did, then I would be sad." He blinked a few times before turning to look at me, a resigned expression on his face. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"
"Not at all," I replied, shrugging. "Do you know what I think?"
"Please do tell."
"I think you're overthinking," I stated. "You're eating your head over something that's over, that shouldn't bother you anymore."
"… I guess," he admitted quietly.
"I think…" I took a deep breath. Be brave, Lovino. Be brave. Fuck, I could almost hear Pride yelling "Who's number one?" in my ear. "I think you need to distract yourself." Impulsively, I stood up and offered him my hand. "Let's— Let's go for a walk. If you want."
He looked at my hand, then at my face, then at my hand again, and only hesitated for a moment before taking it.
To be continued...
