Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. As wonderful as they are to play with, they will never be mine
Here goes.
****
"Is anyone…."
Heat. Screams. Haze. Heat, outside. Inside. No pain? Strange sensation….
"…someone."
Flying. Flying now. Soaring. But only until heat catches the wings.
Crash.
****
"He needs help, Roxas. They offered me the job and I want it. I want to help him get better."
"Dammit, Sora, he's practically thrown his life away already. His idiocy and poor choices caused countless others immeasurable pain and fear. He's not worth the time, the energy, or the pity. Why don't you understand?"
Silence. Then: "You remember what happened to Namine. I won't see it happen it again, Roxas. I can't. Not when I've been given the chance to fix it."
"You don't even know him!"
"I don't have to, Roxas! It's okay to give a stranger a helping hand."
"Not if he's an evil stranger who has no moral standards."
"You're so dramatic."
"I…." had no response for that.
"People deserve second chances, Roxas."
"Whatever. I'll talk to you later." I paused before hanging up, and he sighed.
"Bye, Rox."
****
Haze. The world's a haze, a far off memory.
"Axel?"
Respond.
"Worthl…" End word.
"What? Don't' be afraid to speak."
No response.
"Axel," the voice said. "It's time to open your eyes. Please look at me."
Obey the gentle voice. First, blinding light. And then, blue. All that's visible is the blue.
"Thank you, Axel. My name is Sora. I'm going to help you."
Abrupt. Honest. "I'm not worth it."
Again, that pause. Swimming in a sea of blue, blue sadness.
"Please don't say that anymore. It's not true."
Obey the gentle voice.
"Okay."
Relief. Waves from the sea. The far off sea. Drowning….No breath. Fire. So much heat, can't breathe. Haze! Everything's a haze.
"Axel!" A clear bell. "Axel, come back to me."
Obey the gentle voice.
"Yeah, good. Keep breathing. In and out. You're okay. I'll be right back."
Subside. Unreachable conscious. Just breathe. Just exist. No thoughts.
"…okay?"
"I think…just hyperventilating."
Just broken whispers. Everything is so...broken. Broken, broken, broken.
"Broken! It's broken!"
Calming hand. "Axel, what's broken?"
"Everything." Just a breath.
"Don't worry. We'll fix it."
Drowning in a sea of blue.
****
There were days I questioned my sanity; why would anyone in their right mind choose this profession? Why would anyone volunteer to see the shadows in their world, the heartless acts that thousands of people commit everyday without giving it a second thought? Why would anyone want to know that their world is painted the darkest shade of black?
And then I feel the satisfaction of putting one more waste of space in jail, of appeasing a grieving family's need for revenge. It all comes back to me in those moments, with the sense of accomplishment. I feel that I have done something good, and that makes experiencing all the bad completely worth it.
My last case, however, was a fluke. I failed. I let down the world, imbalanced the justice in the world. Axel Ren was let free on charges of past trauma and partial insanity. After burning down an entire apartment and injuring multiple people. While under the influence of hallucinogens, mind you.
Sometimes, I questioned my sanity. Other times, I wondered if any of us were sane.
****
New home. Delicate equilibrium.
Pain.
"Axel?" Pay attention. "What did you like to do as a child?"
Child. Little girl. Fire. Heat. Can't breathe.
"Okay, okay. Just breathe. There you go."
Silence. Calm. Waves of calm, the blue, blue ocean.
"Axel." Pay attention. "What are you thinking?"
"Fire burns."
"Yes, it does." Simple statement.
"I feel warm."
"Would you like me to open a window?"
"No. It would only fuel the flames." Can't handle more heat. No more heat.
"Oh. Well, all right. How about a glass of water? It'll help put the fire out."
Think about that. "You are my ocean." You can put the fire out.
Laughter. "I'm nothing so special as an ocean. I'll get you some water."
And the raging fire quiets.
****
So, my overly charitable brother was taking on the case of a drug-infested pyromaniac. Pro bono. Idiot. And I was going to meet him today.
It wasn't really by choice. Sora thought it would be good for all parties involved. I still maintained the standpoint that he was an idiot.
Sora had been working with Axel for a couple of weeks now. Of course, by my younger brother's standards, he had made a lot of progress.
Which probably meant that my brother hadn't recognized the druggie's sporadic, crazed behavior as a drug-induced twitch. Probably thought that they were best friends. Probably thought that, when this was all over, the man would repent his evil ways and become a charity worker. I love Sora, but that damn optimism….
I knocked on the door to his apartment, and a smiling Sora greeted me.
"Hola, Roxas!"
I was ushered through the door, and hesitantly took a seat in my usual chair.
Axel was rather conveniently placed across from me. I'd seen him before, of course. I liked to be as prepared as possible, wanted to know every bit about the people I was to convict, and….Well, a picture's worth a thousand words. In comparison to the pictures I had seen, he looked…broken. His physical appearance had changed—his skin was slightly scarred, his hair on the mend, but short, and he looked too skinny—but, his eyes had changed the most. They were empty.
Bastard.
"Axel, this is my brother, Roxas. Roxas…."
"Axel, I know," I said, perhaps slightly snappier than was necessary.
"Got it memorized?" Axel asked, the ghost of a smirk on his face.
"I always remember the ones who escape punishment for their wrongs. So that I have motivation the next time I get a similar case." His face went blank. Teach him to speak to me as an equal.
"Roxas!" Sora hissed. "Don't."
I stared at him for a moment, contemplating my actions, and his actions, and Sora's actions. Wondering why I had agreed to this in the first place.
"I don't need to be here. Later, Sora Don't give him any matches." And I stalked out the door to the splutters of my brother.
****
Well, there you have it. The first chapter of my first fanfic. I'm sorry if it was confusing. Everything will make sense (eventually). To be perfectly honest, this is hard. I kind of had to wring it out of my brain. Well, Axel's POV, anyway. But it'll be an awesome exercise in characterization, and I like the direction it will (hopefully) end up going.
Also, I posted that it would be an AkuRoku fic, and it should be, but it might take a while. I'm really not sure. So don't get impatient, okay? It'll work itself out eventually.
Thanks for reading! Anyway. I can never decide whether pointing out the… (it's green now, right? Wasureru .)…colored button that your cursor is probably sitting next to has any effect on me, but I'll do it anyway. See the pretty button? Click it, and the world will be better. Ish. Haha. Yeah. Owaru.
