Disclaimers for a change you say

Editorial note: This fanfiction has some veins from both the series and the James Patterson books.

Disclaimer: we don't own anything.


Part 1: Jillybean's in trouble

"Buy now!"

Jill Bernhardt's first online auction purchase was a fact. She'd never been into the whole thing, this buying online, but the item she just purchased was perfect!

As she was printing the final details of her purchase, a man bent over her. Bare chested, Luke Bowen came out of their shared bedroom and leaned over to the blonde.

A smile appeared on Jill's face as he leaned closer, reaching her neck for a subtle, soft kiss.

"Good morning." She said, turning herself to her lover's side. A smile appeared on her face as she wrapped her arms tightly around Luke's neck.

"Good morning to you to." The doctor let out, gladfully accepting the hug. 'You dissapeared early this morning. Bed not warm enough for you?"

As the blonde wrapped her satin robe closer to her body, another smiled escaped. "It does seem a little rediculous but..."

She followed Luke into a small kitchenette.

"But what?"

"I had this thing."

"What kind of thing?"

As she was leaning against the door opening, she crossed her arms and hung her head against the door post.

"Okay, okay. I was checking something on Ebay and I won."

"What did you win?" Luke asked as he looked over to her while making coffee.

Without saying another word, Jill turned around. She made her way to the bedroom door. Just as Luke came outside, she entered the darkness of the room, leaving behind her red, satin robe.

From the bedroom, she yelled: "You're just gonna have to wait and see."

Luke left the coffee in the kitchen, and followed the girl.

Later that day

Three women were sitting at their regular booth at Suzie's as reporter Cindy Thomas made her way over to the table. Her face fixated with a smirk that read "exited", she sat herself down next to Lindsay Boxer, SFPD's finest homicide detective.

As a waitress, who's nametag said "Laurie", came over with some coffee, she lowered the bag she had with her onto the floor, taking out some documentation, leaflets and folders.

"Hey gang." The exited redhead smiled as she made a sort of rock-and-roll hand gesture which would probably make everyone at Suzie's laugh, if they knew she had it in her.

Lindsay, Jill and M.E. Claire Washburn sat there, whistfully hoping she'd never do that again.

"Please, don't ever do that again." Lindsay smirked. "It's too painful."

"What's too painful?"

"The whole trying-to-be-cool-yet-somehow-not-quite-there pose you just made." She said, mimicing the movement.

Cindy disregarded Lindsay's sentence as she started spreading the documents around the table, leaving the detective with nothing more than a shrug and a faint smile.

"So, for our afternoon, I took the liberty to go online and get a couple of things together. This afternoon will consist of nothing more than relaxation and gossiping, so leave your crackberries at home."

Jill and Claire were staring at the folders when their eyes met. Both women couldn't help but laugh out loud, at the engenious efford their pupil had put into the afternoon off, they all had planned symultaniously.

"Now here's the catch. Most of these places have a huge waiting list. So timing is key. We'll have to book in advance. No way we're gonna be able to get in without warning." The red exclaimed.

Lindsay, Jill and Claire looked around in amazement. Picking up a few leaflets here and there, checking prices and ammenities. "We trained her well." Jill let out, holding a folder for "A piece of peace".

"Massage and reflexology." I don't know what the latter means, but I could sure go with a massage. She said with a grin.

Cindy took over the folder, quoting: "Reflexology is the physical act of applying pressure to the feet and hand with specific thumb, finger and hand techniques without the use of oil or lotion. it is based on a system of zones and reflex areas that reflect an image of the body on the feet and hands with a premise that such work effects a physical change to the body."

"So it's like a dry massage?" Linday bolted.

"A... a dry massage? Are you... that sounds so...nevermind." Cindy said, turning a page.

The foursome chuckled as information switched hands quicker than a card dealer can switch a deck of cards.

"Or how about Re:Fresh, a day spa located conveniently in the heart of San Francisco?" Claire giggled.

Suddenly, Jill reached into her briefcase for another leaflet. She took it along with her as she went...shopping with Luke.

Lindsay saw the leaflet and yanked it out of Jill's hands. Suddently, a big smile appeared on Jill's face.

"Crack a joke sometimes, Boxer?"

Lindsay brought the leaflet closer to her as it read "GoddessTemple: Sexual Massages".

Lindsay peered over the paper, into the eyes of the young A.D.A. and jolted out of her seat.

Making a fake aggressive move towards her blonde friend, Lindsay hung over the table, nearly kicking over 3 perfectly good cups of coffee.

"What? It's not because you're too busy with work, that other girls can't have any fun." Jill continued her joke.

"This is true." Claire nodded.

"Remind me, yet again, why are we friends?" Lindsay asked out loud, not noticing the way Cindy was ad-lipping her every word.

Another smirk from Cindy, Claire and Jill.

Silence fell as they sipped from their cups. They left a $20 and left Suzie's and seporated their ways.

Time for work.

11.45 AM – homicide detail, San Francisco

"Boxer!" a masculine voice called out for Lindsay, who had just came back from a second scope of a crime scene.

She looked up onto the staircase where LT. Tom Hogan was standing at his open door. He gestured her to come up and step into his office.

She did just that.

"Any news on the killers of Thomas Beal?" Tom said, hanging back in his chair, nearly putting his feet on the gigantic desk in front of him.

"Nothing I haven't already told you Tom." She said, slapping the LT on the knee to make sure he didn't put his feet up.

"Didn't you momma teach you to be pollite?" She whisked.

"Yes, and as a matter of fact, she's asked me, yet again, when you'll be able to come over for dinner."

"What... it still didn't shimmer through that mind of hers that we're not together anymore? It's been 2 years for God's sake."

Tom sighed as he crossed his arms, squinting his eyes. "Yeah, she has. She still likes you though."

Lindsay turned around, facing the door and sighed. Before she went outside, she rolled her eyes.

As she came downstairs, she met up with her partner, Jacobi, who just came from the morgue.

"Anything on Beal?"

"Oh yes, plenty! He ate Spaghetti-O's for lunch, was still a virgin, liked to play "Sonic the Hedgehog" on his sega when he was younger and he exercised like crazy. Other than that, we have him positively ID'd by his mother, who was kind enough to share all these facts with me."

"Wait, he was still a virgin?" Lindsay asked suprised. "And his mother knew about this?"

"So not the point, Lindsay." Jacobi added.

"Any fibers, DNA or solid leads?"

"If we were in Russia, I'd have to nod Yes."

"Not following" Lindsay said with a confused look on her face.

"I've always been told that, if you say "no" in russia, you nod yes."

Lindsay smiled once again at the humor of her partner. She never did quite understand the punchline, but he didn't know it.

She thought to herself: "Nod and say yes Boxer, just nod and say yes."

As she was thinking to herself, detective Charlie Clapper ran by her. "Any news on Blonde Ambition?" he said, carrying a stack of boxes.

"Blonde Ambition? As in the movie, yeah, I heard it's selling great in Ukraine." She joked back at her collegue.

He stopped, face all red of having to carry the boxes.

"No, blonde ambition, as in your A.D.A. friend who was getting those warrants to make a housecall to 2348 N. East?"

It took Lindsay a moment to gather her thoughts. "Oh, no. Not yet. She's still having to run some things by Denise."

Charlie Clapper just made an understanding look and went on with his business.

Lindsay went to the 10th floor of the Hall of Justice, to her friend, Blonde Ambition.

As she knocked the door, she noticed that there was some turmoil going on in the office. She knocked again, this time hearing the yelling of a young male. Lindsay unholstered her Glock and quickly went inside.

When she came in, a man was standing in front of Jill's desk. Jill had a distraught look on her face, which could only mean one thing. She was scared, if not terrified.

The man disregarded Lindsay completely.

"I trusted you! I took your crummy, ungrateful ass into my home, treated you like family and this is how you repay me?" The man screamed.

In an instant, Lindsay knew who it was. She put the gun back into its holster and snuck up behind the man.

"I have given you EVERYTHING you wanted. That fancy car you're driving, I got you through your precoius law school when it got so hard on you!" The man screamed. "And now, all you do, is do everything you ever wanted, leaving me out?

He raised his hand. Jill was so frozen out of fear that she didn't even move. She knew what was coming, she had known it ever since the man came into her nicely deco'd office.

As the man's hand was racing down, Lindsay couldn't watch it anymore. She quickly grabbed the hand, and put it behind his back, quickly followed by the second one.

It was the first time Jill had noticed she was even there. She was just sitting in her office chair, quietly relaxing after the ordeal.

"Nice to see you again Rick." Lindsay said loudly, to overspeak the turmoil. "When did you get out?"

She quickly gestured Rick to get out of the building and not to come back. Then she turned her attention to her friend.

"Are you alright?" she asked, voice filled with concern.

Tears were forming in Jill's eyes. She let out a sob as the emotions of the past events ran over her. "I just can't believe he's back." She said putting on a brave face. "I just hope he stays gone this time."

Lindsay came behind the desk, putting her consoling arms around Jill. She needed a hug, and maybe some margharitas to get rid of the anxiety she just felt.

"I could really use that massage now." Jill let out carefully, bringing her face to a little smile.

"How about we go out for lunch. I'll call the girls and we'll have some noon-fun." Lindsay said, letting go the close grip she had on her best friend.

"Noon-Fun?" Jill looked at Lindsay humorously. "What on earth is noon-fun?"

"Fun at noon by Lindsay Boxer." Lindsay smiled as she was happy to see her friend turning back to her original color.

Both girls laughed as Jill got up from her chair. "Okay then, let's go have some..." A break in her concerned, yet amused voice "...Noon-Fun."

Back at Suzie's

"So, noon-fun huh?" Cindy smiled "That sounds like a gory Chinese restaurant you wouldn't even want to take your worst enemy to."

The foursome smiled as Claire spoke: "Wow, Cindy, I never knew you were that forgiving. I wouldn't take my worst enemy out for dinner, even if it was to a crappy Chinese restaurant."

'Point well taken." The redhaid nodded.

Cindy quickly brought her hands to the case she had brought along with her.

"She opened it, gesturing some paperwork she brought along."

Jill smiled "If you bring out anything that has the words Refresh, Goddesstemple or Piece of Peace on it, I swear to God I'll freaking kill you." She laughed "Or at least hurt you really badly."


End of Part 1

Hope you like it so far. We'll upload part 2 as soon as we're done with it.