It had been a long day for Santa.
To be quite honest, it had been a long day for everyone in the mall. The last Saturday before Christmas was always killer. At 3:30 PM, the mall was absolutely packed. There were ten-foot lines to get on the escalator, twenty-person lines at the popular clothing stores, and precious little personal space in the halls between the stores. Fights were breaking out in the toy stores between otherwise upstanding, respectable men.
Santa looked over and smiled at the next little girl his helper was putting on his lap. She was a cutie, probably about six years old, with curling blonde pigtails and wide blue eyes. Santa sorely hoped she wasn't going to wet him like the last adorable little six-year-old had.
"Hi there," he said in a jolly voice. "What's your name?"
"Michaela," the girl responded shyly.
"Have you been a good girl this year?"
"The best!" the little girl said brightly. "Mama didn't have to tell me to clean my room for a whole month!"
"That is good!" Santa said. "And what do you want for Christmas, then?"
Michaela bit her lip, then leaned in close to Santa. "I want," she whispered, "my mommy to smile again and a little sister and a pony and a Barbie doll." She blinked up at him, "Can you do that, Santa?"
Santa smiled. "I'll see what I can do. Now, I want you to smile real big so we can get this picture taken." He and the little girl smiled at the camera, and after he blinked away the spots, Santa handed the girl off to his other helper who herded her off to her mother.
The next child came up, followed by a third, a fourth … Santa glanced at the clock in the food court and wondered how much longer he had until he got off.
He heard footsteps and automatically reached out for the next child. Instead of touching squirmy hot child, though, he felt solid warm flesh beneath his fingers. Santa slowly turned and found himself eye-to-stomach with someone who was a little bit too old to be telling Santa what he wanted for Christmas. He looked up and saw a young man with lanky dark blonde hair, a smirk plastered across his handsome face. The young man parked himself on Santa's lap.
"Um, hello," said Santa. "What's your name?"
"Jack. What's yours?"
Determined not to let this boy get to him, Santa asked, "Have you been a good boy this year?"
"Absolutely not," purred the boy. "I've been terrible. I make out with boys and girls, I steal music off the Internet, I lie to my parents, I sneak into movies, I smoke, I cheat on tests, and, worst of all," he leaned in and whispered into Santa's ear, "I go into the 12 items or less lane with thirteen items."
"Knock it off, Jack!" another teenager said disapprovingly. Santa looked up, feeling his heart sink as he took in two more teenage boys. One was stocky and Italian, the other was tall and slender with a kind face.
"I don't think you'll be getting much for Christmas, then," Santa said weakly. Jack grinned.
"That's okay, I just wanted to brag." He turned and looked at the camera. "Smile big, Santa!"
Once that boy was off his lap, the stocky Italian guy came and flopped in his lap.
"Hello," Santa said, a little more prepared this time. "What's your name?"
"Anthony."
"Have you been a good boy this year?"
The guy beamed at him. Santa could almost see the golden aura of goodness and light around him.
"I've been the bestest, Santa," Anthony said with an exaggerated lisp. "I clean my room every day, and I brush my teef at night and I don't eat my dessert without cleaning my plate first and I put away my clothes and I haven't cheated on my boyfriend at all and I do all my homework before I watch my half-an-hour of cartoons and I don't eat sugary cereal and I always go to bed at 9:30 on the dot and I never ever even ask for another five minutes and—"
"You have been a very good boy!" Santa interrupted. "What do you want for Christmas?"
"Flavored lube!" he responded immediately. "And some flavored or glow-in-the-dark condoms, and a cat-o'-nine-tails and a pony!"
Santa stared at him. "I'll … um…see what I can do."
They posed for the picture and then Santa sent him on his way.
Finally, the third teenager limped over to Santa and carefully perched on his lap. He stared after the other two boys and shook his head.
"Sorry about them," he said quietly. "They think they're being funny and end up just being stupid."
"It's all right," Santa replied. "I remember being a stupid teenager myself. It's something you do. Now, have you been a good boy this year?"
The boy shrugged. "I've been okay. I try to be good, but I screw up sometimes. You try to live a good life but sometimes temptation's siren song is just too loud, you know?"
"At least you're honest. What do you want for Christmas?"
"I just want to spend a nice Christmas with my boyfriend and friends. And have a big mug of hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows. I think that would be great."
"Have a merry Christmas, my boy." They posed for the shot, and the boy got up and limped away.
Before the next child got to him, Santa remembered something.
"Wait!" he called after the limping boy. "What's your name?"
The boy glanced over his shoulder and smiled. "They call me Christian."
-fin-
Notes: Yeah … weird!fluff little Newsies piece to celebrate Christmas. The title, if you're wondering (and I know you were) was inspired by the song from RENT by the same title – lyrics can be found here.
Merry Christmas!
