Author's Note:

Just a short little one shot going into a bit more detail about Harry and Hedwig's relationship and how her death affected Harry. It does get a little bit dark, not too bad, but I still feel a warning should be in place. Enjoy!

J.K. Rowling owns all things Harry Potter


Still.

Nothing moved as Harry's glossed over eyes bore into the crooked, creaking, cracked ceiling. It had been hours since he first got into his prone position. Hours since his fly over the London skyline. Hours since her last saw her.

Harry was broken...

His eyes burned as grit and tears combined to form a sharp sting.

His hair was matted back with blood and mud.

His hands were raw red with welts peppering his fingers.

His head rocked as he felt the after-affects from a confringo lobbed in front of him.

But pain and grime is temporary, death is forever.

Flashback

Everything was going perfectly. The "Seven Potters" plan was going off without a hitch. Although there had been a slight scare when Harry almost flew into a flock of birds, the flight had been pretty uneventful. That was until the death eaters showed up. It was a rough ride and Harry had to perform more evasive maneuvers than any of his quidditch games combined. But after a while it looked to him that he was in the clear. He was free! The brief moment of jubilation instantly turned to horror as he heard the two words that haunted his nightmares.

Avada Kedavra.

Time seemed to stop as Harry's head whipped around and watched as Hedwig dove into the scintillating olive colored spell. As soon as the spell connected, he remembered.

He remembered the first time he laid eyes on her. The origination of all things magical in his life. The very first thing that uncovered the vast unexplored idea of magic to him. The thing that shot off his career as a wizard.

He remembered the summers when he would lie in bed and have no one to talk to so he would have a one-sided conversation with her. Asking her questions occasionally, expecting an answer, but only getting a soft hoot in return.

He remembered how she had been a staple in his life. In all the crazy events and battles, she was always there, ready to give a rapt peck to the head if he deserved it.

He remembered the love he had for her. All the letters that were sent. All the treats that were tossed out. All the times when she wouldn't sleep in her cage, but would fly over and doze off on his shoulder. All the times when she would nuzzle under his chin when he was upset.

He remembered how she always cheered him up. How she, whenever noticing Harry's sadness, would always fly off and bring back random items to cheer him up that would find lying around. One time on a particular mournful day, he remembers that she brought back a pair of mittens to cheer him up. Wherever she found that, Harry still didn't know, but it worked in crumbling up his sorrow.

He remembered how even when they were back at Hogwarts, she would still insist on occasionally staying with him while he was in the common room finishing up essays. Hooting occasionally to keep him on track.

End Flashback

There were always people trying to comfort him after losing her. But every "comforting word", every hand on his shoulder, every hug he got, just made him recede further in on himself. It got to the point where he felt like a puppet, controlling himself from the inside.

Put a forlorn smile on the outside while the despair caused body-shaking tears to flow unendingly on the inside.

He didn't feel anything anymore as he continued to stare at the dilapidated ceiling.

No pain. No suffering. No anguish.

Numb.

As a heavy wind pushed on the drawn window Harry recalled one of the first few errands he sent Hedwig on.

Flashback

It was one of the heaviest storms that Hogwarts has ever come across. The rain poured at an unnatural angle while some trees even snapped at the extreme force. Harry sighed as he watched the winds whip outside.

"Sorry girl, it's supposed to be not as bad tomorrow." Harry said as he tossed the unsent letter onto the table.

Hedwig hooted indignantly at this.

"Hedwig, you can't send the letter in this type of weather!" Harry remarked while gesturing towards the window. "You'd have to be barking mad to go out there! It's nothing important anyways, just a short letter to Mrs. Weasley."

Hedwig hooted again at this

"I'll be back again tomorrow when the weather clears!" Harry said over his shoulder as he walked back to his dormitory.

But in the morning, he didn't find his letter. He only saw Hedwig spread eagle, or spread owl, collapsed on the floor with a reply letter from Mrs. Weasley. Harry was floored. Hedwig made a trip to the Weasley residence and back in hurricane-like weather in the matter of a couple hours. Harry quickly untied the reply and put Hedwig in one of the vacant nests, adding some food and water and also a few treats in with her. As he walked out, Harry glanced back at Hedwig and he could've sworn he saw an owlish grin on her face.

End Flashback

Harry slowly started to get up. Joints cracking from too much inactivity. Hedwig sacrificed everything for him. She fought for him. And as Harry sat on the old floor of a rundown building, he made a promise to himself. He would fight for Hedwig. He will fight and give all of his effort in the war. He will fight until he collapses from exhaustion. He will fight until his last breath.

Just like Hedwig did for him.