Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face

He'd actually lost count of the days, all of them running together into one long, lonely nightmare. His days were hell. Of all the places in the Outer Zone, the Queen had sent her son-in-law to the most dangerous of the forward positions. Civil war had started its rampage through the Zone shortly after the Eclipse, tearing apart a land that was already extremely fragile. And here he was, in the middle of the worst of the action, fighting for his own life as much as anyone else's. He felt his 42 annuals acutely.

A thousand laughs have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

He wished now that war was still just the game that he'd played all those annuals ago when he was a child. Then, it had been about glory, honor, and nobility. Now, more than ever before, he knew that it was more about blood, gore, and sacrifice. He crouched in what was, for all intents and purposes, a fox-hole that was supposedly a command center. He could hear the Longcoats' bullets whizzing past his ears, setting the hair on the back of his neck on end.

But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

His waking nights were filled with the screams of the injured as bullets were removed and sutures sewn without anesthesia. When he closed his eyes, he still saw some of his men laying on the ground, holes torn through their bodies and rivers of blood flowing down the line. Thankfully, the darkness of night kept either side of the conflict from pursuing any action. No one could see well enough in the darkened forest to identify targets, even with a full moon. When he did lay down in his camp tent to rest, it was only for a few short hours. But every time he laid his head to his cot, he'd dream of her.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me


Walking through the halls of the Northern Palace hand in hand… paused here and there throughout the corridors, sharing intimate and passionate kisses… untying the laces that held her bodice together… the hunger in her eyes, and the sorrow… her slender form, still so young and precious… playing at the laces to her corset as his mouth possessed hers… her standing in nothing except a dainty pair of lacey panties…


His eyes opened hesitantly, wanting to stay in the moment of the dream, imagining the weight of her body in his arms. But someone was at the flap to his tent, so he groaned and rolled over as much as he could to get on his knees and crawl out. Duties called.

The miles just keep rolling
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope it gets better as we go

He'd been on the line, commanding in the most dangerous of the forward locations, for nearly eighteen months with no reprieve. Granted, they had moved several times, sometimes in retreat, sometimes in advance, but small skirmishes blended over time into one seemingly interminable and indecisive battle. He was bone weary, tired of losing good men, only to see their replacements, more good men, fall behind them. He had intelligence reports from the rear positions and their spies that the casualties were equally high on both sides, and they made his heart heavy. The Outer Zone was in grave danger of losing all of its sons.

Another day of fighting ended. More men, good men, died on both sides. He thought again as he did nearly every day, as he tried to block out the cries and moans of the injured, that this whole fight was pointless.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me


Her hands ghosted over his chest… tongues warring for dominance in a kiss they both wanted to last forever… leaving a trail of kisses that led to her breasts… he kissed away her tears… her tears turned to sweet moaning… they both breathed deeply in the aftermath of their passion…


The dream came again. This time, he awakened early enough to try and draw the edges of it around his body like a blanket, remembering the comfort of her skin against his and the beauty of her naked body. He reached for the pouch that he kept under his pillow while he slept, drawing out the small, tarnished silver locket. He stared at the small picture until the sun began to rise.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

He couldn't believe his eyes when he saw a white flag on the horizon several days later. He looked through his field glasses, wiped his eyes, and then looked again, just to make sure that he wasn't dreaming. It was real; a white flag was approaching, borne by the man leading the rebellion, a former Longcoat who now went by the name Prentice, and accompanied by only ten fighters.

"CEASE FIRE!!!" he called out. The command was echoed down the line and a dead silence fell over the field of battle. Cain stood, stepping over the dead and wounded as he went to meet Prentice.

And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

"What terms of surrender are you capable of accepting, General?" asked Prentice. Cain was close enough to notice that Prentice was bleeding profusely from a badly bandaged abdominal wound.

Cain looked at the man sadly and answered, "Only a total surrender, Prentice. You and your men must lay down arms and you are to be taken into custody."

"Fair enough," he said hoarsely as he coughed, blood coming to his lips. Cain knew the man was dying, but he also knew that there was nothing that could be done for wounds that grave. "You see before you ten men, all of my force that is left capable of standing." Prentice then gasped, doubling over, knees hitting the ground.

A medic approached, but Cain waved him off when he saw the dying man's glare. A few moments later, the lifeless form was moved. Cain walked back to remaining captains, thankful that one was his own grown son, nodding to them before saying: "It's over." The captains organized the arrests of the remaining rebels and the efforts to move the wounded to make-shift triage units.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time

There was no cry of joy that day on the field. They had all seen too much; they had all lost too much. His first official duty was to notify the Queen of the surrender. His first unofficial duty was to write to his wife, letting her know that he was still alive and that he was coming home soon. He dispatched the courier, who galloped off on Cain's own horse, one of the last still alive, and the only one not being used to pull cart loads of wounded. He watched as he disappeared, throat constricting with too many emotions to express.

Three more men were chosen as couriers to carry messages to the three other generals across the realms. As Cain helped haul bodies, stacking them one on top of the other after they were identified, he was again dismayed at the number of lives lost. Those bodies that couldn't be identified were moved to a separate location, away from the pyres of those who could be identified. The sky would glow red that night.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it's only you and me

General Wyatt Cain worked through the night, ignoring fatigue and pain, helping with the dirtiest of the clean-up jobs. He had been a good commander, doing some of the lowest jobs alongside some of the lowest ranked men, letting them know that none of them were too low. The aftermath was no exception.

When he finally did listen to the captains, especially his son, who insisted that he rest, he found the closest water supply to quickly wash the grime and gore from his body before returning to his camp tent and climbing inside. He was asleep almost before he laid down his head, a deep sleep that was filled with images of his beloved DG.


Author's Notes: I wrote this little song fic as a sequel to Hands to Heaven. It's based on the song "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down, as recorded in 2002. I hope you all like it. I know it's probably not quite graphic enough for an "M" rating, but that's how I'm going to classify it, just in case. For those who haven't read the first part: the parts between the horizontal rules are flashbacks. If enough people review, I might consider a reunion fic (hint, hint, hint).

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the lyrics found in this story. I do not claim any rights to them and I do not receive monetary gain from them.