Title: Miss Pevensie at Sixty-One
Summary: Post Last Battle. On a winter's night Susan Pevensie, grown-up, left-behind, andlonely, reflects on Narnia and how she lost it -- and how much she wants to go back.
Miss Pevensie at Sixty-One
Oh I have been to Narnia, though it was years ago;
And I have wound an ivory horn and drawn an ivory bow:
Yes I have heard the Lion' s roar and looked into His eyes,
And I was at the hilltop where the broken Table lies.
Oh I have reigned at Paravel, a queen they called the Gentle,
And I have worn a silver crown above a silken mantle.
When I came back from Narnia I swore to treasure well
The memory of my sojourn there, whatever else befell.
But I grew old and I grew coy, and lost my faith in dreams;
And I became a foolish girl, who once had been a Queen.
I pushed away the Lion's eyes that in my mind kept glancing,
And buried His remembered roar with lipstick, hems, and dancing:
So when the Lion roared again, I'd lost the power to hear
The others hastened back in joy, but I held back in fear.
Though Peter begged and Edmund called, my heart rang cold and hollow;
Though Lucy reached out for my hand, I would not rise or follow.
But Aslan roared in memory and I soon saw my folly,
But they were gone beyond my reach, though I ran after calling.
There was no portal any more where once we used to play,
The times had changed, the paths were strange, and I had lost the way.
They have been gone to Narnia four decades and a day,
And I have sought to follow them, but I have sought in vain.
My childhood long since passed away, my youth has likewise fled,
And all who knew of Narnia are long since lost or dead.
The year drags on, the nights grow cold, the ways are deep in snow,
As they were deep in Narnia, so many years ago.
Oh, Aslan, shake Your golden mane and bring the Spring again,
Remove an old maid's doubts and fears and long-remembered pain.
Make me one who can sojourn there beyond the wardrobe doors,
Take me back to Paravel and Narnia's loved shores.
If wardrobe doors can take me there, full gladly I will go;
And leave behind this empty world for one I used to know.
Do what you must to change my heart and set my spirit free,
Strip away the spinster and restore the childlike Queen,
The one who wound the ivory horn and drew the ivory bow,
The one who reigned in Narnia so many years ago.
