Title: Absolution
Author: wildwordwomyn
Word Count: 464
Fandom/Pairing: Person of Interest fanfic starring John Reese/Harold Finch
Rating: PG-13 for some angst
Author's Notes:
Disclaimers/Warnings: Spoilers for everything through "God Mode". This is my take on what happens after that episode.
Summary: Finch asks for something that John gives without hesitation.
"How can you be so forgiving?"
It's a valid question. One Finch asks once they're back in the library researching the latest number. When John turns his head to look over at him he smiles. Finch sits in front of his many monitors with his hands hovering above the keyboard, home again. Bear, sensing where he's needed most, lay on the floor next to him.
"I didn't use to be," John finally answers. "But I understand now what it's like to regret." Finch swivels in his chair to catch his gaze. "Besides, you didn't know."
"I should have, John. But I was so stubborn, so right. He tried to warn me and I..." Finch turns back to the monitors.
His first instinct is to go to him and offer comfort. A should squeeze. A hug. A kiss on his forehead. More and more lately John finds himself wanting to reach out to the other man, to hold him, love him. So much so that he can't help feeling jealous.
"Ingram," he says, his voice unusually flat.
"Nathan," Finch corrects softly, unaware. "He told me over and over again about the 'irrelevant' numbers, the government, my own mulish ways. I refused to listen."
"Then you lost him."
"His number came up."
"Everyone's relevant to someone."
Suddenly Finch looks stricken, haunted. John, not realizing he's just been possessed by a dead man, gives in to his own selfish need and walks over to kneel in front of the other man.
"How can you be so forgiving?" Finch asks again. His blue eyes are wide behind his glasses, watery. As if he's barely holding back a flood of tears.
John stares up at him in wonder. He places his lethal hands on Finch's knees and caresses with his thumbs. There are so many thoughts going through his mind, so much that the genius, even with all his research, doesn't know. I would take your pain away if I could, he thinks. And, I love you, though it's not fair and definitely more than either of us deserve. Beyond that there's I'll wait for you as long as you need me to.
"How can I not?" he replies instead, reaching out slowly to cradle his jaw.
When Finch's expression collapses John takes his hand away only to lay his head in the older man's lap. It's a foolish act, he's well aware. It's also the bravest he's ever committed. Finch sighs shakily, his hesitant fingers mapping out the ridges of John's scalp. His touch is sensual, warm, soothing and arousing and John figures this is how it should be. How they should be. Too much. Not enough. Everything.
"...Finch...," he whispers. And that says it all really...
The End
