I'm taking major liberties with the timeline, but it's not called fanfiction for nothing! So, as I've written it, Jason and Dick lived together for a time before Dick leaves for the Titans. It gives them a more solid foundation for later on.
This will cover over Young Justice, Teen Titans as well as Batman and will be from Jason's POV.
Rated for Jason's potty mouth.
The first thing I remember is that the air was musky and damp. The second was the silence. I'd never realized how quiet something could be. I lived in the city; there was always some sort of noise. Gotham's ambience was something I was used to. The silence was something I never wanted to hear again. The Lazarus Pits had brought me back, but I still had to claw my way to freedom. If I close my eyes and think hard enough I can still feel the splinters under my fingers from clawing at my coffin. I can still smell that rancid too hot air and can still hear my heart pounding in my head. Sometimes, I wonder if I had ever left it in the first place.
I was once the second Robin. Second in every way. In skill, in preference and in life. I had hoped until the very end that Batman would come for me. I hadn't even considered the alternative until it was blasting at me and turning my world dark. Batman was supposed to be infallible. Batman was supposed to always be there. I guess I should be used to disappointment by now.
My life was split in two parts. One before the Joker and one after. Before the Joker I was Jason Todd, street urchin turned sidekick to the Batman. The first me was young and naive even though I pretended that I was king of the mountain. The first me saw opportunity in everything. There was nothing impossible if I wanted it enough. I was the street smart, wisecracking kid that could keep up at Batman's side. The first me saw Bruce as this unstoppable force of nature that could have never done any wrong. First me was an idiot. The second me knew better.
Well, here's the deal. It's pretty widely assumed that I came after Dickie-bird and that we never actually interacted all that much. It's true that I became Robin after him, but it was before his and Bat's falling out. He was Robin and so was I. Dickie had been taken in by Bruce when he was eight after the whole thing happened with his folks. He became Robin by nine. It was just the two of them for a bit and it would have remained that way if I hadn't tried to jack Bat's tires. My dad died when I was really young. He and Ma met at the little pub she had been working at. Ma told me that he was from Puerto Rico and had the most beautiful dark eyes she had ever seen. I took after her with my pale skin, red hair and green eyes, but I had dad's mouth and facial structure. Before he died he had even been trying to teach me Spanish. Ma had picked it up and continued to teach me for a while after he was gone. It wasn't like he stepped out on us or anything. He had actually loved my mother and me, but he had some jobs in wrong places and it ended up killing him. Ma had an addiction problem she couldn't cut. I can remember coming home some nights and finding her passed out on the couch or sprawled out, eyes glassy and still high. She never seemed to recognize me when she was high, staring at m as if I wasn't even there. Sometimes I got to thinking that I wasn't. That it was just her stuck in her own world. I took care of her though. I'd do some odd jobs and get some money for her. Somedays were better than others. Somedays there would be food in the cupboards and Ma would actually be there and want to be around me. We liked playing card games and Ma taught me how to play poker like a pro. Then there were days where she would be gone for days and stumble back with her glassy eyes and slurred voice. I got to placing Ma as two different people. One where she was too high to function or notice me and the other where she would sit with me on the ratty old couch and watch old movies while we pigged out on junk food. I like to think of this time with her…not so much the other.
She had died a couple of months before I met Bruce, overdosing for me to find slumped over the toilet. It left me to fend for myself. I managed to avoid the orphanage and took to the streets. I stole things and managed to make some money to get by. It was foggy the night I saw the Batmobile. I was ten years old and knew that I could make some pretty good money off those tires. The Bat was nowhere around and I left a kind of thrill to be able to get this close to the Batmobile. I was home free, but it was Dickie who caught me. He was twelve and shorter than I was. I could have taken him on pure size alone, but when the literal Robin drops in on you trying to steal from his boss, you don't tend to notice those kinds of things. I had been crouched down and hadn't noticed him at first until he called out. I half turned as I tried to make a run for it, but ended up tangling up in my own damn legs and nearly ate shit on the sidewalk. Robin...Dick swiftly approached, his expression not hostile, more like surprised curiosity.
"Are you...jacking Batman's tires?" His voice was incredulous. I scowled, caught between running or facing down this midget. I ain't scared of some shrimpy little turd who looked like a traffic light.
"I was, until you interrupted." I spat out, tone petulant. The Robin was quiet for a long moment and I was itching to get away from his masked stare. Then he laughed. He actually laughed at me. It wasn't one of those snotty laughs that the elite would throw out, but one of those actually happy and open kind of laughs. Normally if anyone dared laugh at me I would have popped them in their lousy mouths and thrown insults, but I couldn't find the words. So I stared at him. His laughter died down after a moment and he studied me.
"Why are you stealing tires?" He asked, tone dropping and brows furrowing in...was that concern? I opened my mouth to offer a sarcastic retort when the big one dropped in. Batman was huge. Towering over the Robin and me like some damed gargoyle. I stepped back, gripping at the tire iron while Robin approached Batman, grinning like a maniac. Now, I still don't know what was going through Dickie-bird's pretty little head but he got Batman to back off. When the big guy asked where my folks were I puffed out my chest.
"Dead." I had replied stubbornly, eyeing Batman and feeling a lot less brave then I looked. Robin's face dropped in sympathy and that was annoying to see. I didn't need some kid's pity. Batman nodded once, mouth thin. I thought about just booking it down the street. I knew I wouldn't be followed but for some reason I remained rooted to the spot, keeping a tight grip on my tire iron. I shifted my weight onto my left foot, watching as Batman closely studied me.
"Do you have any family to go to?" He asked gruffly and I shook my head. After Ma died, I took mostly to the streets or hiding out in our old church. The church was one place where I felt safe. Af if praying to God would help me. I was alone. There was no point in lying to the guy.
"Nah, I'm on my own." I replied with a casual shrug. Batman continued to stare at me for a long moment and Robin shifted behind him, looking from me to the Bat curiously.
"You don't belong on the streets." The Bat pointed out and I scowled at him. Who was this freak to tell me where I belonged? I didn't need him telling me what was best for me!
"I ain't going to any orphanage," I snapped at him. "I know what happens to kids in that place." Robin flinched at this, masked face suddenly anxious, but I kept my eyes on Batman. I didn't care who he was, he couldn't make me to go that hellhole. Whatever was going through Batman's head seemed to come to an agreement or something because he finally nodded towards the tire iron I was gripping.
"And on the streets you could meet a worse fate." He looked over his shoulder to Robin who offered him a small smile. It was like those two were having some sort of telepathic conversation or something. When he turned back to face me, my fate was sealed.
"Come with us."
"What?" I dropped the tire iron and Robin laughed. Batman's lips quirked slightly, but he continued on.
"There's no future for you out here, I can offer you something more secure." I don't know what the guy was thinking…or what I was. I thought of Ma in her grave and our old apartment that had been abandoned. That was my home; I had nothing else to go to. I looked passed Batman at Robin who offered me one of those smiles of his that I would come to get used to. Batman quietly waited for me to make my choice. I guess it wasn't too much of a struggle.
I don't know what I expected going with them. I probably had figured that they lived in some cave or something. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Bruce Wayne was the Batman. Wayne Manor was beyond belief. I had never seen anything so fancy and could barely believe what I was seeing. I woulda just stayed there staring if Alfred hadn't found me. Alfred was a godsend. The old butler had obviously spoken to Bruce and approached me with a small smile on his face.
"Master Jason, I presume?" He greeted and I blinked, shifting from foot to foot. Master? What kind of weird ass title was that?
"Uhh." I began awkwardly. Alfred looked patient and I couldn't find my voice to offer any response. Luckily, Robin came to my rescue before I made a douche of myself.
"This is Alfred." Robin stated, walking up to stand next to me. I shook Alfred's hand and the old guy offered me another smile. His accent was all posh and fancy. I felt too dirty to touch him but his smile wasn't condescending or anything. I smiled back.
"Nice to meet you." I managed and Alfred replied with the same. There was a sparkle in his eye as he looked at me. It was kind of grandfatherly and made my chest feel warm.
"I shall have a room prepared for you shortly." Alfred stated as he headed down the hall. I glanced around, still in awe. The place was huge. There had to be at least like fifty rooms or something and for some reason, Batman wanted me to live here. I turned to look at Robin, realizing he was no longer in costume. His eyes…I can't even describe them…my mouth had gone dry. One eye was the brightest shade of baby blue I had ever seen and the other was a bright leafy green. Eyes like that got you noticed. You couldn't mistake him for someone else. If you saw him, you would recognize him in any crowd. I could just imagine what would happen in some villain saw them. He'd be recognized no problem and that could be dangerous. Robin watched me curiously and I cleared my throat.
"Sorry…your eyes…" I managed stupidly and Robin smiled at me in understanding He pointed to his blue eye.
"Heterochromia." He explained and I blinked at the word. What did he just call me? "My dad," He stated then to his green. "My mom." I stared hard at him, trying to figure out where I knew him from. He had a really slight accent that I couldn't place. I moved forward towards the kid.
"I'm Jason. Jason Todd." I stated and Robin held out his hand to shake mine.
"Nice to meet you, Jason. I'm Richard Grayson…you can call me Dick though." Normally I would have laughed at that sort of name, cause let's face it, Dick? Then it hit me.
Richard Grayson.
The Flying Graysons.
I remember hearing about them even before they all died. They were part of a circus group and were world famous. Could do all sorts of amazing stunts without a net. Then they came to Gotham and that all ended. Wasn't just his folks but his aunt, uncle and cousin too. The uncle hadn't died. I heard he had landed on top of his wife or something but ended up in a coma. He was still hooked up in the hospital until Dickie was old enough to make a choice to unplug him. I guess eight wasn't old enough for that sort of decision. My expression must have given away my thoughts because he indicated down the hall.
"I can show you around if you want. Bruce is just finishing up." I managed to offer Dick a weak smile which was returned full force. That's when Bruce walked up from the lair. He was softer looking without the mask on. Still young and from the tabloids, a player of sorts. Not the sort of person I would expect to run around in a giant bat costume, but I guess everyone processes grief differently.
Somehow, Dick ended up growing on me quick. Something about him just made me feel good and I actually liked the little spaz. I was tall and gangly with my red hair and pasty Irish skin. He was tiny and tan with that mop of dark curls. I was antagonistic and suspicious. He was way too chipper and upbeat but I guess opposites attract, right?
I don't know what made him want to take me in, but I wasn't about to ask. Gift horse kind of thing. So, I gained a family. Alfred, Bruce and Dickie-bird and eventually I would gain a title too. Like with Dickie, it took a year for me to become Robin. I was eleven by then and had hoped that one day I could go with them when they went out. I didn't get my own name though. Hawk or Eagle woulda been cool, but Bruce seemed set on me just being Robin; Not even Robin II. I thought Dickie mighta been peeved that he was sharing his name with me. I would have been but Dickie thought it was great.
"We can build an army of Robins, The Riddler would go nuts!" He had gleefully informed me. The guy was smart. Way too smart and there were times where I'd feel a tinge of jealousy. I couldn't help it. It felt like I was the outsider looking in even if he never thought of it that way. He excelled in school and could charm nearly anyone he spoke to. He was also juggling his time with the mini Justice League. I didn't like any of them, especially that Kid Flash asshole. It always felt like I was competing against him for Dick's attention and he knew it too. Smug bastard.
Dickie and I made a good team even without Batman. We complimented each other's fighting styles. Dick was all fluid and grace, as if he really were a bird. He barely seemed to touch the ground, lips always curled into that shit eating grin of his. While he was a dancer, I was all noise and swift movement. My body was my weapon and I used it to my full advantage. Fast and hard and unforgiving, taking after Batman in that regard.
Sometimes it was just Dick going with Bruce and other times it was just me. My favorites were when we went together. The two of us managing to find humor in everything when we were together. Somehow, Dickie had managed to worm his way into my heart. Even if he was smaller than me I still looked up to him. I still put him on the pedestal. It didn't take me long to realize that my feelings for him went beyond brotherly or worship like...I think I was in love. Even at eleven, I felt like I was utterly in love with the first Robin. Like roses and heart eyes and candy kind of love. Not that I'd ever say anything. Bruce was…well I don't know how to describe it. He wasn't like one of those dads that slaps you on the shoulder and calls you sport, but he still had a way with making me feel like I was worth something. It was a weird set up, but it was still as good a family as I thought I'd ever have.
Dickie was an actual bird, I swear to God; Or maybe a monkey. The little shit would climb on anything. Even the roof! He'd drag me up there along with him. He liked watching the stars and knew all the constellations. We'd sneak into each others rooms and huddle together on the bed. When it was dark out and it was just us, Dickie would tell me about the circus. His days with the them had taught him a lot of different things other than just acrobatics. He could read my palm and played Tarot with me, pulling me into this mythical state whereas far as I was concerned, Dick was otherworldly.
Bruce put me in the same school as Dickie. The little smart ass had skipped grades putting him three graded ahead of my instead of one. The school was pretty up tight but a lot of the kids hadn't yet gained their parents prejudice. Dickie was popular…me…not so much. I guess I enjoyed fighting in and out of costume. My grades were pretty good. I rocked at science. I had struggled and fought in my old school, but I think having a more solid home life helped me when I started at the new one. Bruce was probably exasperated with me by the second time he had to come to the school because of my fighting.
"You realize that you're grounded right?" Bruce sighed by the third time he had to bring me home. I think the first two times he was trying to give me some leeway, but now he had used it all up.
"Worth it." I gleefully responded as I followed Bruce into the manor.
"That means you'll be sitting out patrols." He reminded me and I squawked in indignant rage.
"Gotham needs me!" I called out after Bruce as he swept down the hall. I heard Alfred sigh from the kitchen.
Other then my misadventures at school, it was a good new life. Being a Robin was…freeing. Me and Dick had different strengths when working with Batman. Bruce honed my brute strength into a skill. My temper could be controlled and managed to where I was no longer lashing out at everyone, but taking out my anger on practice dummies. Bruce had his rules when it came to being Robin. No killing. That was a cardinal rule and of course, I was eleven. Who would I have wanted to kill? Sure I had my temper, but murder seemed so off to me. I never knew what would eventually come.
Along with the hero persona, came the Wayne persona too. Bruce had to keep up appearances and that meant a lot of sleaze coming into the Manor. Course, Brucie didn't surround himself with the nicest people. A lot of rich people are nice I bet. But a lot are assholes too. He'd have his shitty uppity charity events and that was usually when I'd have to deal with the stuck up noses of the elite class. I was a street rat taken in by charity. To them I was scum. The street rat with fiery Irish hair and that temper from Hell. For Goldie it was even worse at times. I didn't have the privilege of being upperclass or anything, but I was an American Gotham native. That saved me from what scrutiny I could have gotten. Goldie didn't have that saving grace.
Dick was Romanian born, moving to America when he was really young. He tried explaining Romani culture to me at one point. There was a difference between Romanian and Romani. Dick was Romani. The circus he was with traveled all across the country, even going international at times. Dickie had never lived in one place for a long time. When he came to live with Bruce, he was still rocky in his English. Something I found endearing when he would speak. None of those little rich assholes seemed to see Dick the way I did. He was called the carny by many of those snot nosed elites. It was obviously that he was looked down on for being part of the circus. That didn't seem to bother Dick all too badly. It pissed me off to no end.
He hated being called gypsy though. He knew what people meant when they said it. The underline revulsion in their voices as if this was still the God damned 1800's where racism was some kind of fad. They sneered at his olive tone and slight accent that he hid so well as Robin, but not so much as Richard Grayson. They acted as if they were anything but jealous of him, but they had to be. Richard was beautiful and different while they were all the same pasty white and boring.
I used to watch 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' on t.v. with Ma. I had thought that the lady Esmeralda was the most kick ass Disney character. She was called gypsy too. Maybe the childish part of me started seeing Dickie as my own version of Esmeralda. Back then I just thought it was because of the whole heritage thing. It took me way too long to realize that Dickie represented to me what Esmeralda did to Quasimodo. Anyway, I heard gypsy thrown around by a lot of those elite assholes and it took a lot not to lose my shit on them.
Charity case.
That was what we were to these clowns.
Bruce made us go to these shitty events and we tended to stick together. Dickie was non-American and I had a shitty attitude. What a pair we made! Luckily, we were usually given a wide berth by the assholes. Some of the friendlier folks Bruce talked to would come up to us. One lady seemed to really like us. Selina I think her name was. She was okay I guess. Sometimes Bruce's Justice League gang would be there. All in disguise of course. I didn't like when they brought their little juniors though. I didn't want to deal with that asshole Wally who attached himself to Dickie's hip. Roy wasn't too awful though. At least he and I could find things to talk about.
These events were for charity and the Wayne Foundation always had noble causes that they donated to. I was glad to see that Bruce helped even outside of his Batman suit. One particular night, I had managed to have an actual conversation with Selina. She was dressed to the nines but she always seemed to have something about her that was unlike the rest of the women. Something wild. Maybe it was just because she wasn't completely sane. Bruce seemed to see it too because he was always looking at her and she'd look back with that curly smile of hers. When they stared at each other like that I always felt funny, like I was seeing something I shouldn't. I left those two weirdos to stare at each other and passed by Alfred who was serving champagne to a guest. He winked as he passed and I grinned at him.
"Enjoying yourself, Master Jason?"
"Always, Alfred." I quipped over my shoulder, listening to the old man chuckle as he walked away. I continued on, passing by that one intense looking guy with the eyepatch. I decided to make myself scarce.
"It is truly astonishing." I overheard as I slunk down through the crowd. I glanced over my shoulder for the voice, straining my neck. I saw the one eyed dude staring intently to my left and I followed his stare to see Dickie bird standing by one of the guests. Dick was always small, but he was even smaller when surrounded by all these adults. He was better at playing polite than I was. They guy who had spoken was looking Dick up and down.
"What's astonishing?" Dick asked curiously and I moved a bit closer so I could listen in. This guy…Paul or whatever was some rich loser that liked to cosy up to Bruce. He only went to these events for his reputation and always seemed to zero in on Dick when he was around. He was standing with some horse faced broad. His date by the looks of it and they were both eyeing Dick with that usual uppity look.
"This is the little gypsy boy Bruce took in?" The woman asked Paul who took a sip from his glass. Dick's intense eyes moved to the woman.
"The correct vernacular is Romani." He coldly replied, articulate as fuck. The one eyed dude near me released a quiet and impressed chuckle but I barely even glanced at him. I was wondering if I needed to step in. I didn't like the tone but I wasn't about to make Dick look weak in front of those two fuck heads. It was pretty obvious that Paul and his horse faced date were a little tipsy. They didn't seem too impressed with Dick's response.
"I'm surprised Bruce managed to reign him in." What's his name hummed and I bristled, shoving passed the one eyed dude to stand next to Dickie-bird, glaring at the couple.
"Problem?" I snapped. Dick shot a quick glance towards me and the horse face lady blinked in surprise. But Paul or whatever hummed lightly. Bruce was busy on the other side of the room and Alfred was deep in conversation with Selina.
"Oh and here's the second of Bruce's little brood. I heard you were suspended from school for fighting. This would be what the third time?" He asked with that usual casual air that uppity bastards like him tended to use.
"Fourth actually, but I'm glad you're so curious about me." My grin was all teeth and unsettling on the best of days. The lady snorted and Paul whatever shook his head as if disappointed in me.
"It's obvious Wayne needs to lay a firmer hand." He scowled.
"Yeah you'd like that wouldn't you?" I shot back. The guy probably got off on that sort of crap.
"Let's go, Jay. We have better things to be doing." Dickie spoke up and Paul looked towards him, unhappy with the tone Dick was using.
"You better learn how to respect your betters, boy." He pointed a thick finger at Dick and I tried to move to stand in front of Dick, but Dickie was just as prideful as me.
"I see not betters here." Dick responded innocently. I glanced over my shoulder to see Bruce looking towards us in concern. He better get here quick before I decide to break this asshole's nose.
"You know how those gypsies are." Paul stage whispered to his date. "Thieves and liars…absolutely filthy. It's a shame Bruce is allowing your kind to contaminate our city." I know Bruce heard that last part because he was now striding over swiftly, his dad face on full blast. I opened my mouth to verbally smack this asshole down but Dickie beat me to it.
"How's your divorce proceeding going? I heard your wife…ex wife is now dating a much younger man." I nearly chocked on my own spit and the guy stared at Dick as if he sucked on a lemon.
"Dick." Bruce spoke up in mortification, but I think Dickie was beyond caring. They insulted his family. No one was allowed to do that. He smiled sweetly, reaching to grab my elbow and drag me backwards. "Enjoy your evening!" Dickie called over his shoulder as we passed by the eye patched dude who was carefully watching Dickie-bird. Dickie vanished as soon as we made it outside the doors and before I could find him, I ended up face to face with Bruce who looked unimpressed.
"What happened?" He asked, voice low and I sighed.
Why me?
Later I found Dickie on the roof. It was usually where he went when he needed to disappear for awhile. I liked to take my bike and just go. When I wanted time to myself I made sure I couldn't be found. That usually took me to the church. I would spend times sitting at the pew with my head bowed, sometimes praying and sometimes just enjoying the quiet.
"You left me to explain things to Bruce! You know that never works out." I called out with a scowl, scurrying onto the roof and towards Dick. "Why'd you take off?" I asked. He was sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees and staring out towards the city. I sat down next to him, watching him closely.
"It's not that I'm ashamed of the word gypsy, it's that people like Adam thrown it around as if they own it." Dickie finally breathed.
Ah, not Paul. Adam…
"It's…it's just cruel you know? People look down on the circus performers as second class. We're nothing but entertainment to them…my family was not some act that could be disregarded. They were real people. We're both real people."
"I know Goldie." I murmured softly. I reached for him in a rare show of physical affection and he leaned against me, head resting against my shoulder. We spent the night staring over the city. I'd take on anyone that talked about my new family like that. I didn't care if they were some other snotty little shit kid or even the fucking Joker. I'd protect them…I'd protect them like I couldn't with my own Ma. Really fucked up mentality, I get it…but that was how I saw it.
Dick doesn't have Heterochromia in Canon, but I had always imagined in Teen Titans verse that he did and I incorporated it across universe. I also have Dick as being Romanian born, rather than just a distant heritage and I always pictured Jason as Catholic in his first life. I hope that these things don't turn anyone off from this story!
