Disclaimer: Basically – not my characters.

Authors Note: It's a Tiva story. SPOILERS season five – like the first few episodes, only I haven't seen them, just heard about them.


Kill Then Kidnap


It was official, she was angry with him. But what for? He couldn't think of anything he'd done. In fact it was her that was in the wrong. He'd only just broken up with Jeanne and her she was acting like he hadn't spoken to her in months. Seriously, they used to be friends, hadn't they? And now, well she barely noticed that he was in the room. Sometimes it even looked like she was trying to avoid him.

"DiNozzo! I thought I told you to take that evidence down to Abby."

"Sorry boss. I'm on it."

He picked up the evidence bag and headed down to Abby's lab. To his surprise Ziva was leaning against the table while Abby was completing a quick blood type analysis.

"I don't know. Maybe I should just – how do you say – let him go?"

The moment he entered Ziva, looking tense, hurried out of the lab without even a glance at Tony. It was clear by the look on Abby's face that he'd interrupted something important.

"What. Come on. We're all friends. I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Whatever Tony."

"I have something that might cheer you up," he said, doing his best to lighten the mood. She snatched the bag he was waving mockingly in front of her, barely looking him in the eyes.

"Something wrong Abs?"

"Didn't you hear anything she just said?"

"Ah, not really. She kind of stormed out before I …"

"She likes you Tony. She really likes you!!" she interrupted him and then turned her back and began examining the contents of the evidence bag. "I'll email you when I'm done," and she shooed him out the door without another word.


He'd never thought of that before. That maybe Ziva was acting this way because she fancied him. Come to think of it, it kind of explained a lot. The way she looked at him sometimes, how she tried her hardest to avoid him a lot of the time, why she'd wanted to help him so much when Jeanne left. Actually that last point didn't really make sense. If she cared for Tony so much why did she help him try and locate Jeanne?

She cared for him. Maybe that was all. Maybe Abby had it wrong and Ziva just felt sorry for him. But those looks she gave him. No, she had to like him. Man – what got him thinking about all this in the first place? He laughed. That kind of reminded him of the time when he and Ziva were driving and started having a conversation about pirates.

"I need to get a pirate copy," Ziva had said.

"You mean pirated. A pirate is a person, like Captain Jack Sparrow."

"Who's Captain Jack Sparrow?"

"Johny Depp."

"Johny Depp is a pirate?"

"No! How did we get here?"

"I drove."

"DiNozzo! I need you to go grab a copy of that case we closed two weeks ago. And get it on paper – none of that electronic fandangle McGee's always handing me."

"Right away boss," and he headed off to grab the printouts from the store room.

Once he'd pulled the files he headed up to MTAC to give them to Gibbs but he passed Ziva on the way. He put his arm out and leant against the wall – preventing her from passing.

"What Tony? I've got errands to walk."

"To run, Zeevah. Errands to run."

"What?"

"Never mind. I've got a question for you."

"What is it Tony?.. No I haven't watched that movie you leant me and no I don't plan to any time soon. Now would you let me pass, I'm busy."

"That's not my question, Zeevah." He knew he was annoying her, but he was enjoying it. The way she was bouncing up and down as if a child, desperate to pass. "Someone's been spreading rumors about you Zeevah. As scuttlebutt would have it, you like me - Zeevah. Is it true?"

He turned his head but kept his eyes right on her. The blood rushed from her face, her eyes widened. Then she pushed him out of the way and hurried off.

Tony rebalanced himself and slowly headed up the stairs. He hadn't quite expected that.


Monday morning. Back at work after a relaxing weekend and Tony was feeling great. He was, as usual, first in. Ziva wouldn't be far behind and McGee not long after that. But for now he had the office to himself. He leant back in his chair and rested his legs on his desk. This was the life. No reports to finish. No cases to solve. Barely a concern in the world. Well, none that required his immediate attention anyway.

He sifted through the few letters on his desk. Finding nothing of interest he chucked them back on his desk and a small envelope slipped out from the bundle. He'd missed this one and the handwritten address on the front grabbed his attention. He opened it with his letter opener and a small pink letter fell from the envelop.

I don't know how to say this – but we need to talk.
There are a few things I need to tell you.
Meet me in the park (where we used to talk after breakfast) – 10am on the 11th

Thanks

Love from Jeanne

He looked at his calendar. It was the 11th. And it was almost 9 o'clock. He'd have to leave now if he was going to get out without anyone noticing – they'd all be arriving soon. He grabbed his gear and without thinking properly left the letter sitting on the edge of his desk.


He arrived at the park at five to ten. After parking his car he walked towards the bench he and Jeanne used to sit at each morning after having breakfast at the café across the road.

Jeanne was already there. Shivering and looking anxious, she sat on the bench looking as beautiful as ever. Tony smiled as he approached – it was no wonder he'd fallen in love with her. Secretly he wished they'd never had to split. But after what happened, the bomb targeting Jeanne and his cover being blown, there was no way they could have stayed together.

"Hey" Tony said, unsure of how to deal with the situation. He'd have happily sat down next to her and put his arm around to keep her warm as he used to do. But he wasn't sure that she'd be feeling the same way.

"Hi. Thanks for coming." She spoke politely but with the same excitement that used to be so familiar to him.

"No Problem. How have you been?"

"Oh fine. You?"

"Yeah. I've been doing alright."

"Listen. I'd love to sit and talk about whatever, but there's something I really need to talk to you about." She had a sense of urgency in her voice and Tony shifted his position so that he could better look at her as she spoke.

"I wasn't completely honest with you Tony…"

"Well, seriously Jeanne, I barely told you any truth about myself. I don't think…"

"Tony. I don't care that you didn't tell me the whole truth about yourself. Like I said, I lied to you as well. I lied more than you did. I…" but she was cut off midway by a gunshot and immediately Tony jumped up and reached for his gun. There was no one around. Tony turned back to Jeanne and froze. There was a gunshot wound right through her chest. A kill shot. And Jeanne was dead.


It was unlike Tony to be late. And even when he was, he wasn't this late. He'd have called in if he wasn't coming. Something was wrong, and Ziva could feel it. She'd already called him once this morning and now she tried again.

Again, no answer. Tony rarely missed her calls. The last time he hadn't answered, he was with her. Just the thought of Jeanne sent a shiver up Ziva's spine.

She must have been looking rather worried as McGee tried to reassure her midmorning.

"I'm sure he's fine Ziva. He's probably taking the day off to have a movie marathon. He's done that plenty of times before."

"McGee. Do I really look that concerned?"

"Well, uh, sort of," he admitted, a little cautiously.

"Well, I'm not. I just wish he'd answer my calls," and she dialed his number one last time.


It had all happened so fast. The moment he turned to see Jeanne sitting dead on the park bench, in the middle of their favourite park, he'd been grabbed from behind. They took his phone and chucked it aside. Taken his gun and shoved him into a white mini van and driven off as others dealt with the body.

He didn't know how to react. Should he be angry – after all he had just been kidnapped by his ex-lovers killers. Should he be upset – Jeanne was dead. And what should he do? Try and escape?

But he could barely bring himself to think about it. He was numb. He felt neither angry nor upset. He didn't feel anything. And everything was a blur. He hadn't resisted when they grabbed him. Hadn't tried to stop them take his phone or gun. Hadn't really even realized what was happening. And he knew that Jeanne was dead – but he didn't feel it. He just knew it.

Later, once they'd driven for at least half an hour, they pulled Tony out of the van and shoved him inside. Tied to a chair in the center of tiny room containing nothing much but the chair, a few shelves and a small table by the door. There was only one window, high up and tiny so no one could see in – but it was open. They locked the door and drove off in the van.

He became accustomed to the room. Knew every insect that flew in and out. He counted every crack in the walls and every cobweb in the room. But as he sat there during the day and late into the night he didn't once think properly about the days events. Sure – he wish he hadn't been kidnapped. What he would give to be lying in his bed – or any bed for that matter. And he was hungry. He could hear his stomach gurgle and grumble every few minutes. A nice big pizza would really do the trick. But that was about as far as he got when it came to thinking things through.


Now Ziva really was worried. So worried she actually questioned Gibbs about Tony's whereabouts.

"I don't know. Why don't you find out?" he said, almost mocking her as he headed out for coffee. But she was too distracted to care. She called Tony for the hundredth time but still no answer.

She was pretty angry with him now. Worrying her by not coming into work was one thing – but not answering any of her calls. He was in for it next time she saw him, that was for sure.

"Found Tony yet, Ziva?" Gibbs, coffee in hand, walked out of the elevator looking at Tony's desk and then at Ziva.

"Not yet. He's not answering any of my calls," Ziva replied, not even trying to hide her concern.

"Yeah, mine neither. Take McGee and check out his apartment. If he's there, tell him he's got some darn good explaining to do."

Not long after they arrived at Tony's apartment. Ziva picked the lock and they entered – McGee shocked at the sight of the messy room.

"This is Tony's apartment?"

"Yes. You've never seen it before?"

"Well, no. I kind of expected it to be…"

"Tidier? It's always like this. The man never cleans. And he's not here. By now he'd be yelling at us for trespassing and invading his privacy if he were."

McGee, slightly surprised by Ziva's thorough knowledge of Tony, edge further into the living room.

They searched the rest of the apartment, but found nothing of interest. McGee, utterly disturbed by the state of the living room was pleasantly surprised by the cleanliness of the kitchen.

"He likes to cook. Italian background or something…" Ziva explained and they locked the door and left.


Two mosquitoes, one moth and five black spiders. Those were the insects lurking in the tiny room where Tony sat, tied to a wobble wooden chair. Well, there was one dead fly under the shelving unit, and an ant line passing from under the door to a crack in back wall as well.

Jeanne's death still hadn't hit him yet. As much as he tried to convince himself that he had seen her die, it didn't feel real. He could see her smile now; smell the sweetness of her hair. Her laugh echoed in his ears. He didn't want her to be dead. She was, after all, the first and last person he'd ever truly loved.

He'd dealt with death before. Like when Kate died. It had been hard, but he'd been distracted by the case and by the time he was free to think again Ziva was around and he didn't think about it much anyway. He felt guilty about it really. Not morning her the way he should have. She'd been an incredible woman. The best friend he'd ever had.

But this was different. It was still fresh in his memory. And it was too hard to think about it. The moment he thought of her he wanted to scream. To jump of a cliff. To run forever and never have to come back. And he felt as though his heart might rip right out of his chest at any moment. So he distracted himself by observing every minute detail of the room. And that meant knowing every little creature and every speck of dust in his tiny room.


Gibbs had become a little concerned himself when Ziva and McGee returned without any news of Tony. There had been no evidence to suggest that he had or hadn't been home in the past twenty four hours but everyone agreed that it seemed unlikely that he had.

McGee was discussing putting out a BOLO on Tony's car with Gibbs. Ziva sat at her desk and looked over to Tony's desk. She'd gazed over at his empty seat all day – his desk untouched since last week. The Monday morning mail still sat in a pile in the middle of his desk. A second stack of letters sat next to the first from today's delivery.

A small envelop with pink stationary that sat in the middle of Tony's desk caught Ziva's eye for the first time. She hadn't noticed it before. She got up and walked over to the desk. She didn't need to read the letter to know who sent. The ugly pink paper was identical to that of the letter Jeanne had left for Tony in her apartment a while back.

They must have kept in touch Ziva thought a little jealously. She couldn't help it. She didn't want to like Tony. She should have been happy for Tony when he fell in love with Jeanne. But a little something in Ziva, an annoying voice inside her head, just wouldn't let her be. And before she knew it she'd fallen head over heals for him. And no matter how herd she tried to change it, she still had feelings for him that would never go away.

She unfolded the letter and read her note. She knew the park. She had unwisely followed Tony once and watched the two eat breakfast and then huddle up on a bench in nearby park. It had made her squirm seeing them together. And even now the thought of them catching up after all this time made her uneasy.

She showed the note to the others, trying hard to hide her bitterness.

"I think I know where the park is," she added.

"Good. Grab to the keys to the car McGee," replied Gibbs, who, unlike McGee, was not at all surprised to here this.

"Already got them, boss." And they headed off.


Until now Tony had been convinced that anything could beat an uneventful day in the office. He'd finally found something worse – being tied to a chair in the middle the middle of a tiny storage room without food or water or a bed or TV. He was tired, hot, beginning to smell and worst of all - he was hungry. He had ten bucks that said he could eat a whole horse, or even two, in the one sitting.

Man, he must have been a sight. Dirty, unshaven, and sweating like pig. He was actually quite amazed that flies weren't circling over his head. Surprisingly he wasn't bored. Ziva had always said he was easily entertained and he was beginning to agree with her. It was rather entertaining to simply watch a line of ants marching up and down in a long straight line. Even better when you run your foot through their path and watch them go crazy trying to relocate the line. He'd never had the time to do this before, and under any other circumstances he'd actually say he was having fun. Then again, he'd chose a movie marathon over this any day, so perhaps he should consider this to be a once in a lifetime opportunity. He sure hoped it would only happen once.


A horrible thought occurred to Ziva as they drove to the park. What if, after meeting Jeanne, Tony had decided to go away with her after all? At first she thought it unlikely – Tony would've gone home to grab some of his stuff. But what if they had to leave quickly for some reason, and Tony didn't have time to return to his apartment. This thought hurt her, a lot. He hadn't even bothered to say good bye. He could've called, or sent her a text, answered one of hundred calls. But he hadn't. Or maybe he hadn't left at all. She tried not to get caught up in her suspicions, but the idea was consuming her and her eyes were filling with tears.

She was still contemplating it all when they pulled up along the park. From here she could just see the bench where Tony and Jeanne had sat that morning. She got out and walked over, Gibbs and McGee a few passes behind. Her heart began to race. Tony's phone was lying on the grass few meters from the bench.

Forty-eight missed calls. Ziva blushed and placed the phone in an evidence bag McGee was holding out. Then she continued over to the bench. It was unusually clean and Gibbs made further inspections as Ziva and McGee inspected the surrounding grass. Ziva froze – her heart pounding. There was blood on the grass behind the bench.

"Consistent with a gunshot wound," said Gibbs, noting Ziva's hesitation. "Get a sample McGee. Ziva, see if you can find a bullet."

It was a long afternoon. The sun was hot and Gibbs was convinced that somewhere behind the bench they would find a bullet. Ziva's heart was heavy. No one had dared to voice it, but it could be Tony's blood on the grass and bench. She tried her hardest not to let it get to her. After all, there was nothing much to suggest that it was Tony's. But she had a feeling that it was.

Two and a half hours later Gibbs found the bullet lodged deep in a tree trunk. They bagged and tagged. Took photos and made sketches. Gibbs even set up string to estimate the line of fire right away. Unfortunately the shot appeared to be a kill shot. There seemed to be a driving force within Ziva. If Tony was still alive, they had to find him – and fast.


It looked like he was going to spend another night tied to his chair. The van had returned mid afternoon. Tony had overheard their conversation. It was short. They were discussing what to do with him and had agreed to leave him where he was for now and let the boss decide the rest later. They left less than half an hour later after checking that Tony was still there. They'd untied him for a few minutes and let him drink from an old drink bottle. He could hardly expect more, but the water was stale and Tony had to force himself to drink it. He had been rather thirsty – and his stomach still grumbled in hunger.

It was getting dark quickly and Tony examined the room for the last time that night – before it got too dark to see. Everything was the way it had been for the past few days. Still five spiders, only now there were more webs. He could hear a mosquito buzzing around his head. Great he thought more mossy bites.

He tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in but nothing worked. His neck cramped and his wrists were sore – the rope had been tightened when they retied him to the wobbly chair.


It was well after midnight but the whole team was standing Abby's lab awaiting results. The blood test would take a while. Abby had managed to pull three partials from Tony's phone. Two of them were his but the third was still unclaimed. The bullet was from an ordinary handgun. It would be next to impossible to find an exact gun match but Abby was running all kinds of analysis' to gather any information she could.

"I'm going to find something. I promise. Something that will help find him." Abby was pacing the room and the rest of the team watched her feeling just as concerned. "What if there was something else on the bullet. I could've missed something. Move out of my way – I'm checking it again."

"You already checked it three times Abby. And you missed nothing the first time."

"Don't say that McGee. I know I missed something or we'd have found Tony already."

She pulled out the bullet again and started running tests all over again.

Gibbs had already left for coffee. The computer screen was flashing 'Positive Match.' Ziva woke, almost surprised to see the sun already streaming through the window. She saw the 'Positive Match' and ran over to Abby.

"Abby, wake up. You got a match. You found something come. Come on." She was shaking her hard. She needed to find Tony.

"I found something," Abby queried, her eyes slowly blinking open. She turned to the computer screen and jumped up in excitement. "I found something. Didn't I tell you I would?"

"What's going on?" Gibbs walked through the door, coffee in hand. He looked at McGee still asleep in the corner and then at the other two huddled around the computer.

"Gibbs!!" Abby squealed. "We got a hit on the partial I pulled from Tony's phone. It belongs to a Gregory Haman. He did time a few years back for armed robbery and was a suspect in a gang shooting but was never convicted. His file says he has strong links with an illegal arms dealer. Sounds a bit hinky doesn't it," and she gave Gibbs sneaky look.

"Yeah, it does. Good work Abs. McGee." He turned and saw McGee still fast asleep. "McGee!!"

"Yes boss." McGee jumped to his feet shaking his head.

"I want you to go and find out everything you can about this guy. Ziva." he looked at her standing eager to get to work beside him. He wasn't sure she could handle this. But he needed her so he sent her off. "Find out about this arms dealer thing. Let me know as soon as you find anything."

"On it boss," said McGee and Ziva gave a quick nod as they headed out of the lab.


She was dead. And he felt it now. He wanted to hit something. To break something. To show what he was feeling inside. But he was tied to a chair and unable to move freely. At least he was alone.


"What have you got?"

"Haman isn't married but is living with his girlfriend locally. He isn't home very often according to her though, I called her and it seems as though they're having some issues at the moment."

"Anything useful McGee?"

"Sorry boss. He's being watched by the FBI but they haven't opened a case file yet. He seems to be getting around under the radar."

Gibbs nodded. There was definitely something going on here and now he'd been dragged into the middle of it. In any case, his number one priority was finding Tony. "Ziva?"

"The arms dealer is one David Gonzalez. He's been competing for buyers with none other than René Benoit."

Gibbs nodded. This didn't come as a surprise. He had no doubt that the Frog would somehow be involved in all of this.

"They have a warehouse which the FBI has been dying to get a look at but haven't been able to get a search warrant."

"Well, I think we just got one. McGee – get the warrant. I'll call Fornell. I reckon he'd be interested in tagging along. Ziva – grab the truck. I'll meet you outside in half an hour."

They arrived at the warehouse. The FBI had sent along quiet a number of agents – glad to finally get a look inside the place. They headed off to search the warehouse inside out. Ziva raced ahead, Gibbs and McGee not far behind.

As they entered the main area of the warehouse Ziva could hear shouting. The FBI flooded in while Ziva raced to a door at the back. Everything around her was a blur. Shots were being fired behind her but she barely noticed. She yanked open the door and found herself in a dark corridor. Doors lined the wall to her right. Most were open and the others unlocked. There was nothing important in the rooms – at least not to her. The last door was locked. Too impatient to pick it open she fired a shot at the lock and kicked the door open.

Tony sat wide eyed and tied to chair in the center of the small storage room. Ziva rushed over and untied him. His wrists were red and grazed from the tight rope that had bound him down. She stood up and without a second thought wrapped her arms tight around his waist. He was unstable on his feet after sitting for so long and she found herself supporting some of his weight as he too wrapped his arms tightly around her.

Tony knew that he must have looked horrible and smelt even worse. He hadn't shaven in days and in the summer heat without fresh deodorant… - he was surprised that Ziva was still holding him tight. It was obvious that she wasn't letting him go to soon and Tony was relieved. He wasn't sure he could stand on his own just yet just the smell of Ziva's hair was a comfort beyond his imagination.

Gibbs and McGee came running into the room. Relieved to know that Tony was safe, Gibbs headed back to the main hall of the warehouse to help sort out the mess the FBI was bound to have created. McGee just stood there staring for a few moments then shook his head and also left the room. He had been quite shocked and a little embarrassed to see Tony and Ziva clinging to one another.

Finally they drew apart and at that moment things became awkward. Ziva diverted her gaze to the floor and ran her fingers through her ponytail. She took a few steps towards the door and Tony seemed to get the message. They walked down the corridor, passing a number of FBI agents who were examining the different rooms. They left the corridor to find Gibbs was talking with Fornell in the middle of the warehouse – both looking troubled.

"I'll meet you in truck in a moment," he said and turned back to his old friend.

McGee was already sitting in the back of the truck and Ziva and Tony took their usual seats in front. A few minutes later Gibbs came out and they drove back to the office in silence.


Gibbs trusted his team – but this wasn't about trust. It was about more than just rules that he himself had made clear right from the start. It was about the laws of attraction and the rules of relationships. And he knew even he was no match for that.

Sure he'd made it unmistakably clear that no partners were to become involved with one another under any circumstances or they'd be fired on the spot. He'd even threatened to kill Tony on more than one occasion. But he knew that one day nothing he said could prevent the inevitable.

He tried not to worry himself over what most people would say was such a trivial topic. But he knew what could happen when partners became involved – and there was no way he wanted that to get in the way of his team. Up until recently he'd been able to sleep easy – knowing that his team would be in separate beds. But he could tell that it wouldn't be long before Tony and Ziva gave in to one another and after that happened things would never be the same.

When they'd arrived at the office and everyone was sitting, silent, in the bullpen Gibbs had decided it would be just as easy to ask Tony all the details of the past few days there and then. "Ziva found Jeanne's letter. What happened?" he'd asked. At first Tony didn't react – just kept staring at the ground.

"I went to meet her. She was sitting there, waiting. And she was cold. I guess I wanted to warm her up, but I didn't know what she was thinking so I just sat there. She wanted to tell me something – it sounded urgent – but I wouldn't listen. She said she lied to me, but I was the one who lied…" he'd said eventually – still staring at a spot on the ground.

Ziva had been listening intently but it was obvious she was hurt. Gibbs was concerned but for all the wrong reasons.

It's not your problem – just ignore it. You already warned them.

Look at how bad it is already. Imagine how bad it's going to get when they finally hook up.

He'd tried to stop thinking about it and focus on what Tony was saying but it hadn't worked. "Then what?"

At this Tony had shifted uncomfortably in his chair but kept his eyes glued to the spot. "Then, then they…" He swallowed hard. "There was a gunshot. And I grabbed my gun and look around but no one was there. And I turned back to Jeanne and she…" He'd stopped there. It was too hard to go on.

"Go home Tony."

Tony had looked up at Gibbs and saw he was serious and left without another thought. And now Gibbs sat at his desk with an empty coffee cup and a team that he knew was falling apart.

He shook his empty coffee cup in front of McGee who immediately apologized and left to get him another refill. Then Gibbs turned to Ziva. She now sat starring much like Tony had been doing moments ago. He shook his head. It wasn't fair that such an able person could be so easily pulled apart by love.

"Ziva. I need you to try and find out what Jeanne was trying to tell Tony." He knew it wasn't fair, but he needed her to help out. Then he headed up to MTAC to talk with Fornell – there was a body out there and the FBI might have some idea where it might be.


After much digging and searching Ziva managed to get hold of an open case file on Jeanne. And from what it said – Jeanne had definitely lied to Tony.

"You'll never believe it Gibbs. Jeanne was the frog's boss. She was the real arms dealer. The FBI figured it out shortly after Jeanne left. And they reckon David Gonzalez figured it out as well."

"Yep. And they're looking for him now. Fornell pulled a few strings." he added as Ziva's expression converted from pleased to annoyed. "It's been a long few days – why don't you knock off early?"

Ziva nodded, grabbed her gear and left.

She arrived at Tony's apartment carrying groceries ready for pasta and picked his lock. She walked in to find Tony sitting on the couch, beer bottle in hand, starring at a blank TV screen. He didn't even look around when she walked into the kitchen and dumped the bags and then walked over to sand right in front of him. She stood there for a moment looking at him still in the clothes he was wearing when he left the office – still unshaven and unshowered.

"Tony, you need to shower." She took the empty bottle from his hand and pulled him over to his bathroom. She waited until she could hear the water running and then headed to the kitchen to start cooking creamy chicken pasta for the two of them.

She was almost done when Tony emerged from the bathroom in clean clothes. He stumbled over to watch her serve the pasta and took the bowl she handed him. They stood and ate in silence. When they were done they dumped their bowls in the sink and Ziva served out fresh strawberries on ice cream.

"I brought a movie," she said, trying to bring a bit of life to Tony's eyes but they stayed glazed over as he made his way to the couch. "Pirates of the Caribbean."

Ziva put the DVD in and sat down next to Tony. When they finished their ice cream she took their bowls to the sink and sat back down next to Tony – this time closer so that their arms were touching. Tony didn't seem to notice. She slipped her hand into his and this time he looked down as her tiny fingers curled around his. She felt him squeeze her hand and her heart began to race. She dropped his hand and leant over so that her head was resting on his chest. She could smell his after shave and feel the steady beating of his heart. His arm wrapped around her and pulled closer and his chin rested gently on her head.

The movie finished and Ziva tilted her head so that she was looking into Tony's eyes. They gave nothing away but they were no longer glazed over and she felt her lips stretch into a smile. She reached her hand up and laid it gently on his cheek. He placed his hand on the back of her head and together they lent in until their lips were touching lightly. Tony pulled her closer and ran his fingers through her hair and then all of a sudden he pulled back. He got up out of the couch and almost ran out his front door.

Ziva got up, shocked and truthfully a little disappointed. Quickly she followed him shutting the front door behind her. She could see him halfway down the staircase and she headed after him but keeping enough distance between them. He walked out of the building and down the road until he came to a small park where he lay on the grass in the middle of the small oval. Hesitantly Ziva walked up to him and lay down beside him.

"I'm sorry," he said after a long while of silence. "I just…"

"You don't need to explain," she cut him off.

"I want to. What happened back there made me think of Jeanne." He sensed her disappointment but he kept going – he needed for her understand this. "I thought I loved her – but I lied to her, a lot…"

"Tony you had to. It was your job. Besides, she lied to you as well. That thing she was trying to tell you – she's the real arms dealer Tony…"

"It doesn't matter." He cut her off just like she had done him. Didn't she understand? This wasn't about Jeanne – it was about him. "I loved her and I lied to her. I hurt her. And the more I loved her the more I kept lying to her. I couldn't stand it if I did that to you."

It took her a while to realise what he was really saying. And by then he'd moved himself closer to her and she'd rolled onto her side and draped her arm across his chest. "You wouldn't lie to me Tony. Besides – I work with you. I could find out the truth if I needed to."

He smiled and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I know. But I'm still scared of what I might do to you."

They lay there for a while but it was getting cold quickly so headed back to Tony's apartment arm in arm. Ziva had to pick the lock because they hadn't bothered to grab a key when they left. It was late and Tony suggested Ziva stay the night and after a long discussion Ziva found herself sleeping along side Tony in his bed.

Light was beginning to shine softly on Ziva's face and before long she was wide awake. She'd fallen asleep the night before on her own side of the bed but it seemed that she and Tony had both moved closer together and he was now holding her so close she feel his steady breathing on her neck. After last night she no longer knew where they stood together so she decided to treasure the moment. Moments later however he began to stir.

Ziva turned around and watched as he slowly gained consciousness and opened his eyes. He smiled at her and she slipped her hand into his. Slowly he raised it to his lips and kissed her fingertips. The next move was up to her he decided. She looked deep into his eyes for some time and then crawled out of bed and headed for a shower. He was a little disappointed but knew that it was indeed his own doing.

He took a shower after her and when he returned to his bedroom Ziva was sitting cross-legged on the end of his bed. She looked… adorable – her long curly hair damp and flowing down her back. He wanted so much to pick her up and hold her close – so he sat he sat behind her with his legs surrounding her and dangling off the end of the bed. He pulled her body close to his – his arms easily able to engulf her. She relaxed and lent back against him – letting him support her. She placed her arms on his and Tony buried her face in the back of her neck.

"We better head to work." She dragged them back to reality and he reluctantly let her go.


Jeanne's body had been found. Of all the places she could have been dumped they'd chosen the easiest and thrown he in a dumpster a few blocks from the park. Somehow Gibbs had managed to win jurisdiction and Ducky preparing to begin his autopsy. Seeing her again had been a bit much for Tony. Guilt ran through his body as he watched the body bag being unloaded, opened and her pale face being revealed as they prepared to begin. Gibbs sent him to Abby's lab with evidence from the dumpster – a whole load of junk most likely unrelated, but he knew Abby would be excited to receive it.

Ziva was already there when he arrived and without a second thought he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. As she had done that morning she placed her arms on his – a small gesture but a huge comfort.

"Oooh. I should have known you two were together." Abby beamed over at them.

"We're not." Ziva replied and to Tony's surprise she didn't sound the least bit embarrassed as he'd expected.

"Sure sure." Abby's eyes narrowed but her cheeky smile remained.

Tony let go and moved to stand beside Ziva instead. "Really Abs, we're not."

Abby shrugged but didn't fail to notice that Tony had taken Ziva's hand in his. "What you got for me?"

"Oh, just junk from the dumpster where…" Abby nodded and took the evidence. She started laying it out on the bench right away.


At first he thought something must have happened but he soon realized that it was a tough time for Ziva as well. The normal spark in her eyes had disappeared and he knew that it was partly his own doing.

It was dark out but he invited Ziva to walk down and grab a coffee. Gibbs had him on refill duty since McGee had left early. She accepted seeing as she had nothing else to do. They walked in silence. Tony wanted to say something but he couldn't find the words so he settled with taking her hand in his. She looked up at him briefly and he caught a glimpse of a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"Hey," he stopped her and threw his arms around her waist. "What's wrong?"

She didn't answer but slipped her arms around his neck. His eyes were locked on hers. He didn't think about it – just acted on impulse, and leant in slowly. Her lips were soft on his and she willingly melted into the kiss.

Sometime later he pulled away suddenly. "Gibb's coffee," he gasped still finding his breath. Ziva nodded in full awareness of the consequences of taking so long to get Gibbs his refill and they headed off, almost running.


What could be taking them so long? They were just getting coffee and the coffee shop wasn't far down the road. Of course his limited imagination was getting the better of him. They could be…

Come on! They're getting your refill – they probably ordered the wrong stuff and had to go back to get his normal black coffee.

Tony's been doing this for long enough now he automatically orders your refill even if he's ordering for someone else. Besides, you know their sleeping together!! Even Abby said so and she knows all about this kind of stuff.

What evidence do you have against them? Or is it just your famous gut again?

Truthfully, my gut. But when has it proved wrong?

"Your coffee boss. Are you feeling alright? Cause your looking a little pale." Tony handed him a large cup of hot coffee and he took a large sip right away.

"Thanks," he nodded and placed the cup on his desk. "You two heading off?"

"Ah, yeah. That okay?"

"Nah, yeah its fine. See you tomorrow."

He watched as they got in the elevator together but there was nothing to suggest that they were leaving together or even that they had at some point shared the same bed.

I've really gotta stop thinking about this!

He ran his fingers over his short hair and took another long sip of coffee.


They'd stopped off at the supermarket on the way to Tony's apartment. Tony was adamant that he was cooking and he'd decided with great difficulty on ravioli – even though Ziva had cooked pasta the night before, ravioli was very different. Ziva didn't really mind what they had and once they arrived at Tony's apartment and Tony started cooking she found herself relieved not to be fussing around the kitchen. She sat watching him as he chopped and sliced to make his own "special sauce."

"You alright?" he asked.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine."

"Before, something wasn't right. Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I don't know. I just… wasn't coping. I'm alright, really. Do you want me to help you with that?" It was a pathetic attempt to change the subject but Tony seemed to get the hidden message.

"Nope. Tonight's my turn, you cooked last night. I don't think I thanked you. It was really good." She smiled at him and he smiled back. He liked to think he was helping her, even if only a little. She'd managed to pull him through last night and now it was his turn to comfort her when she was obviously struggling.

It wasn't long before dinner was prepared and they ended up sitting on the floor, backs propped against the wall. "Dessert," Tony declared as he took Ziva's bowl. She protested but he would have none of it and soon they were digging into huge stacks of maple syrup pancakes. Together they washed the dishes – Tony washed and Ziva dried and put away. She knew his kitchen well enough and only had to ask where a few things went.

"What now?" Tony asked when they'd finished. Ziva shrugged but took a few steps forward and took up his hands. Moments later she was running her fingers through his hair and kissing him so deeply that Tony had to pull away.

She looked up at him a little confused. "Ziva, we need to talk about this." She nodded slowly, her expression changed to understanding and she took a few steps back. He took her hand and led her to the couch where they sat facing one another.

Tony opened his mouth to speak and closed it again. She could tell by his fidgeting that he had something important to say but that he didn't know how.

"I like you Ziva – I really like you. And so I need for us to take this slowly – for me. Because if we didn't I know it'll end badly. And I don't think I could live with myself if that happened." He kept looking from his hands that sat in his lap to Ziva's eyes which gave nothing away.

Ziva began to nod slowly. "Alright," and she took up his hand.

"Sure?"

"No, your right. I'm not at all interested." A smile broke out on his face and he breathed a sigh of relief. He pulled her closer until her head was resting on his chest and his arms were tightly around her.

"I love you."

He was surprised by how easily it came out and by the look on her face so was she. He was even more surprised when she shifted even closer and whispered in his ear "I love you too," and kissed him lightly – a kind of kiss he'd never imagined her giving. She relaxed her head back on his chest as though nothing had happened.

It was getting late so Tony scooped her up and carried her to bed. "I thought we were taking this slowly," she teased as he laid her down.

"We already went this far last night."


Last night they'd fallen asleep already tangled and by morning couldn't move Ziva was so threaded around Tony. He didn't wake till at least half an hour after she did but she really didn't mind being held so close to him.

When Tony woke a childish grin spread across his face. "I could get really used to this," he said after kissing her gently.

"I think I already have," she returned the kiss.

They stopped past Ziva's apartment on the way to work so she could grab a change of clothes. Tony waited on the couch as she quickly changed and when she walked, wearing nothing particularly special, his jaw dropped. He went to tell her good she looked but "Wow" was all that came out.

At first Ziva looked confused but then a cheeky grin broke across her face. "You're not thinking of doing page 57 with me are you?" she started walking slowly towards him.

It took him a moment to catch what she was saying. "Definitely! But then I was thinking maybe we should start with page 36 for a bit of practice."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on his lips. "We're gonna be late."


Another day at work. Another case solved.

But it was more than that. Because it was personal.

He felt almost as though he'd betrayed her. As though he'd never really loved her. He wasn't sure he actually had, but it was the least he could do to be upset over witnessing her death. Instead, he had already moved on.

Ziva was, as she so often did, distracting him. And this time so powerfully he could barely keep his mind on the case. Every time he looked up she was just sitting there – completely unaware of how incredible hot she looked and how terribly distracting she had become.

They were finally alone in the office – only Gibbs had left Tony with strict instructions to deliver some files to the director immediately. As he headed up the stairs he turned to Ziva and blew her a kiss. She made a catching action with her hands and pressed it to her chest.

"Of all the gestures I think I find this the strangest."

Tony smiled at her. "I'm blowing you a kiss Ziva. It's only right that you catch it and place it on your heart."

"Oh, is that what it's supposed to mean. In that case – thank you."

He couldn't help but laugh. "Anytime," and he continued up the staircase.


Abby had invited Ziva to a party and she had accepted weeks ago. So Ziva and Abby headed of early together and Tony was left to go home alone. He was surprised to find that after only two nights with Ziva it felt odd to be walking into his apartment without her. He ate dinner, watched TV and later slipped into bed alone and as he lay there and looked over at her empty side of the bed he unconsciously made the decision to call her.

Her number was already second on his speed dial – Gibbs being first of course. She picked up almost immediately and just the sound of her voice sent a warm sensation around his body.

"Tony?"

"Yeah. I was just wondering how your nights going?" it was the first thing that came to his mind.

"Oh. Fine. I just got home actually. What about you?" but she barely needed to ask – the fact that he'd even called her had given it all away.

"Truthfully – I'm here in bed alone and something's missing."

She knew he couldn't see her but she beamed into the phone. "I'll be there soon."

Fifteen minutes later she was picking his lock and he stood at his front door waiting. She walked right into his waiting arms and dropped the small bag of clothes she'd brought with her. Her hair was still damp from the quick shower she'd had before she came over and Tony buried his head breathing in the sweet smell of her shampoo.

"Wow. I hadn't realized you missed me this much."

"You have no idea. It's been agony without you," he teased. Her fist thudded hard into his arm. "Ouch! What was that for?"

"I can tell what you're thinking. You…"

"Slowly Ziva – were taking this slowly."