Disclaimer: Hetalia and its characters all belong to Hidekazu Himaruya :3
I haven't left this room for 6 days, 12 hours, 15 minutes, and 22 seconds, and so far... Nobody's come looking for me. Kumajiro's knocked once or twice, but he doesn't count. He's stuck with me anyways. I've kept the room dark, the only light being the hallway light that shines under the door.
My name is Matthew Williams, and I am forgotten. People may remember my country of Canada, but it's probably just the stereotypes. My brother, Alfred, has turned my country into a laughing-stalk. I hate him. The other personified countries don't usually mind him, but I've been dealing with that hoser for as long as I can remember, and I've had enough of it. It's mostly his fault I've locked myself in here. Anyone who can actually see me always mistakes me for Alfred, and I want that to stop. I guess you could say I've...snapped. Lost my sanity. But you'd be partially incorrect. See, I've still got some sanity, or else Alfred would probably be near death. And I probably would have found a way to break myself out of here, but I haven't. And here I am. Locked in a cold and dark room to protect people from myself. It's weak, but it's the best I could do. So far, I think it's working. I mean, sure I miss the outdoors, but it's...it's better here. I can't hurt anyone and no one can hurt me. Maybe...I could turn a light on...to remind me of outside... I know there's one in here, and I need a walk. This damn wall is killing me.
I got up and began using the cold wall as my guide, even though there's nothing in the room to possibly run into. I should know, I cleared it out for that reason. At some point, I had made it to the light switch. I put my hand on it and prepared myself for the light. When it was on, and my eyes had adjusted, I noticed something. The blood. It was everywhere. It covered the walls and the floor, it was used as writing...but I don't remember doing that. I-I still have sanity! How could I have done...this!? My hands began shaking and before I could try to calm myself down, I punched a huge hole in the wall. I looked down at the hand that had gone through the wall and noticed dry blood stains that covered scars. The further down my arm, the worse it got. I looked away when I got to my elbow... It was covered in blood. I shut my eyes tightly. Apparently, I didn't have as much sanity as I thought... I'm a monster... I didn't want to open my eyes, but I did it anyways. I needed to see what I've done. I focused my gaze on some writing along the wall opposite to me. "Who am I". I slowly walked up to it and ran my hands across the writing. The blood is dry. In fact, I think all of the blood is dry. It's old. Probably from when I first locked myself in here. But...that was only 6 days ago... How could I have forgotten? This makes no sense. There's no way I would forget smearing my own fucking blood on the wall! Maybe I convinced myself I was sane so well that I forgot. I turned my head to face a different wall and read a sentence out loud. "I'm worthless," I grinned sadly as a memory made its way into my mind.
-:- It was me wearing the same white t-shirt and jeans I was now. I had a blade in one had, slowly dragging it across the other, not even realizing how deep I was going. Eventually, I dropped the blade and began using the blood as if it were paint. I looked as if I was in another world. Like I had no self control over myself... -:-
Then the memory ended, and I was on the floor, my arms wrapped around my chest. I winced at the pain and looked down. My once clean white T-shirt now stained with blood. My hand slowly moved down to a pocket in my jeans, and I watched as I pulled out a bloody blade. Of all things to lock myself in a room with, I pick this... I threw it across the floor in frustration, sighing when I heard its echoes bounce off the walls. I slowly picked myself up and headed for the light switch. The darkness is better. I should never have turned the light on. I reached out for the switch, but froze when I noticed more writing on the wall. I brought my face closer to it and squinted to read it.
"I blame him for this. For all of this. Look at what he's done to me... And yet, I hope he finds me. I hope he realizes it was his fault."
I looked over the writing. It didn't specify who 'he' was, but I was pretty sure it was talking about Alfred. I guess I do hope he finds me. Just...not yet. I don't trust myself right now...
I lowered my head and flicked the switch, smiling sadly when I was surrounded by darkness once again. Again, I use the wall to find my way back to my corner, hoping I don't step on that damn blade. It was stupid of me to throw it, but I didn't want to see it anymore. I move my feet across the floor slowly, trying to feel for it, and jumped when my toes smashed into the wall. I put my hands in front of me on the wall, and helped myself to the ground. Now that I think about it, my legs hurt like hell. They're probably covered in bruises and cuts, but I don't want to find out just yet. No, I'll let Alfred do that. I put my head back, resting it against the wall, and put my hands on the floor next to me. I moved my hands across the floor, feeling for the blade again, when the ground starts to feel warm under my right hand. I pulled my hand up to my face, trying to adjust my eyes, when I realize how dark the palm of my hand looks compared to the rest of my skin. I brought my other hand to it, carefully touching the dark spot, only to have pain shoot up my entire arm. I pull it back quickly before doing it for a second time. Turns out I've opened up a cut that must make its way all around my hand. Wonderful. I lower the bloody hand and push it into the ground, hoping it makes a perfect hand print. I pull it away after a minute or so and wipe it off on my jeans. I'm sure Alfred would love to see that. He likes horror movies, right? Yeah, he'll love this... I smacked the back of my head against the wall repetitively. After a few minutes, I had an agonizing headache, and there was a knock on the door.
"Hey, where's the food?" Kumajiro asked. I didn't answer. If he's managed to last 6 days on his own, he should be fine for a while. " Um...Canada?" I let out a small laugh and leaned my head against the wall again, listening as he walked away. He'll be okay though. I stretched out my legs, ignoring the pain, and heard something slide across the floor. I moved my hands forward slowly, feeling for it. Once I had it, I realized it was the open blade, and that I had put a new cut in my hand. Instead of letting go, though, I held onto it tighter. It felt...right. Like I was being released into freedom. As a country, I can't actually kill myself, so this is the closest I can get to death. Maybe this can work. I could torture myself daily until I'm so close to death that it won't matter anymore. I won't have the ability or strength to possibly kill anyone. There may be consequences for my actual country, but they shouldn't be too bad. My people are strong, unlike myself.
I felt blood begin to drip onto my pants and quickly let go of the blade. I had cut a new deep gash over top of an old one, and it was bleeding worse than ever. I looked from my blood covered hand to the wall, then back again. With my shaking right hand, I pressed two fingers into the pool of blood, and then moved them to the wall, dragging them to form letters. "Nobody will notice I'm gone." I starred at the new sentence and wiped my hands on my shirt and jeans.
ALFRED: Alfred sat on his couch with a bag of potato chips in his lap, and the TV remote in his hand. He began flipping through channels when he heard something that caught his attention. Alfred went back to the news channel and began eating chips while listening to the news woman.
"The devastating events that are occurring all across Canada have increased dramatically within a few hours. The Prime Minister has shut down the borders with the United States, fearing that it could easily spread. It started as a few street fights, and has now turned into most of the citizens murdering one another. We're still not sure what has caused these events to happen, but will keep you all updated when we receive new information."
Alfred starred at the television wide-eyed. Why was his brother allowing this to happen? He rose to his feet, throwing the chips into the floor, and ran for the phone. After a few rings, Alfred got the answering machine.
"Mattie, bro! I just heard about what's happening with your country and I wanted to make sure you were okay! I guess I'll call you later though, so make sure you're home!" Alfred hung up the phone and thought about someone else to call. Matthew was normally home, and him not answering the phone made Alfred worry even more. 'Francis! Mattie likes hangin' out with him sometimes, so maybe he's over there!' He picked up the phone and dialled Francis' phone number. After a few minute he picked up.
"Bonjour?"
"Hey, Frenchie! I was just calling to ask if Mattie was hanging out at your house," Alfred went and sat back down on his couch.
"Non, désolé, Amerique. Why do you ask?"
"Well, did you hear about what's happening with his country?"
"Non, what's happening?" Francis' voice showed signs of concern.
"First off, his Prime Minister shut down the borders connecting our countries. Second, his people are going insane. They're all killing each other and stuff! I called him but he never answered, so I thought he was with you, ya know?" Alfred let out a nervous laugh.
"...Alfred, when was the last time you spoke with Matthieu?"
"Uh... Maybe a week ago? I don't remember. And what does that have to do with anything?" Alfred was beginning to get annoyed with Francis. All he wanted was to ask where his brother was, and Francis was in no way giving him that information.
"Amerique, did you notice how he was not at any of the meetings we've had lately? And that no one even seemed to realize it?"
Alfred let out another nervous laugh. "Of course he was there! Mattie wouldn't miss a meeting!"
"Mon ami, I'm afraid you are incorrect. Matthieu never showed up."
"Well if you noticed, then why the hell didn't you say anything!?"
Francis sighed. "I did. Remember? I asked you if you knew where he was and you responded with, 'Who?'"
"I...I did?" Alfred said sadly.
"Oui, you did. Alfred, I think we should go and check on him."
"B-but they closed his borders with me! I mean, they might have left the airports open, but I doubt it!" Alfred put the phone on speaker and ran to get his jacket at the front door.
"We may as well try. Alfred, I'll meet you at Matthieu's house, alright?"
"Yeah, okay. See ya there!" Alfred hung up the phone and ran out to his car, shoving on his shoes once he got inside. 'Don't worry, Mattie, I'm comin'!'
MATTHEW: I sat in the same corner of the room, cutting words into my arm. Now that I'm...used to it, it doesn't hurt nearly as much. I finished that last letter and held my arm where I could see the writing. "What's the point." It was the first thing I asked myself once I realized that I didn't need to suffer like that anymore. The thing is, there isn't one. I was put in a situation where my younger brother was better than I was. Why would there be a point?
I picked up the blade again and wiped the blood off onto my pants, before going and cutting into my other wrist. It doesn't hurt me anymore, but that's probably because I've lost so much blood already. I closed my eyes and let my head fall against the wall, as I continued making cuts along my arm, when I heard someone outside the door. I opened my eyes and tried to think of whose voice it was, but instead I just pushed myself into the corner even more. If they managed to open the door, the first thing they would see would be me because of the wall I sat against. Right across from the door. It was a poor choice, but I was to tired to move at first. After a while I really didn't have the strength to. I carefully began pulling my knees closer to myself, when they knocked on the door.
"Mattie! It's me, Alfred, now open the door!" Alfred pounded harder on the door. If I was completely crazy I would have just invited him in and then lock him in here to suffer. But I couldn't. Besides, he would be able to get out.
I pushed my back against the wall, causing a few cuts to start bleeding again, soon soaking into my shirt, when the door was thrown off its hinges. Alfred had broken the only thing keeping him safe from a monster. He's such an idiot. I looked up in anger and noticed him standing in the doorway with Francis behind him. Alfred looked like he was going to be sick. I guess I never noticed how much it smelled like blood in here because this became a normal environment for me. Before I could get away, Alfred was crouched down in front of me, with his hands on my shoulders. He looked scared, but he would never admit to that.
"Mattie! Can you hear me!? Oh god, who the hell did this to you!?" He began shaking me, and that was when I had snapped completely. I lunged at him and threw him to the floor, kneeling on top of him.
"You did," I sneered. "You and everyone else!" His expression changed to fear, while Francis grabbed me from behind and began pulling me off of my brother.
"Matthieu! Stop it!" I turned around and grabbed the blade that had fallen on the floor, and held it towards Francis.
"You. I hate you too. Everyone forgot me, and you were one of them! Can you see me now, Papa? Or do you need help?" I got back to my feet and began walking towards Francis, after kicking Alfred in the side. I cocked my head. "Papa, why do you look so scared of me? Ai-je fait quelque chose de mal?" (Did I do something wrong?) He backed up until he hit the wall and I let out a small laugh.
"M-Matthieu, listen to us. We came here because we were worried about you. Your...condition, is affecting your country," Francis looked at me with sadness in his eyes as I tried to understand what he was saying. "Your citizens are killing each other, Matthieu. Your Prime Minister has already closed the borders with Alfred. the only way we got here was by telling them we were nations at the airport." I was distracted with what he was saying, too confused that I let Alfred tackle me from behind. He had me face first onto the floor and I laughed. I decided to stay completely still, to let him think that he had won.
"Mattie...doesn't this hurt you?"
I looked over my shoulder and saw that he was looking at the fresh blood stains on my shirt.
"...Does it hurt seeing me this way, Al?" His expression changed when I used the nickname I had given him when we were younger. He nodded slowly.
"Then no, it doesn't. That means I accomplished what I wanted to do in the first place: Cause you pain. I just couldn't do it physically." Alfred looked as if I had slapped him across the face, and I give him a half smile.
"I wrote about you while I was in here. Would you like to see?" His expression didn't change, so I took it for a yes. I pushed him off of me and grabbed him by his wrist, leading him over to the writing near the light switch. Francis was standing behind us, reading it over our shoulders, even though Alfred was reading it out loud.
"I blame him for this. F-for all of this. Look at what he's done to me... And yet, I hope he finds me. I hope he realizes it was HIS fault..." His voice began to crack as he finished the sentence, and I smiled proudly.
"See? I didn't forget about you, Alfred." I put my hand on his shoulder and grinned. He looked over at me in fear.
"B-but... I never meant to, Matt! I never thought you cared about that! I mean, everyone forgets you, it's not just me!" I tightened my grip on him as Francis slowly began to get closer.
"Alfred, you're such an idiot. Just because you're my brother doesn't mean that it's alright. Now nobody will ever forget me! Isn't it great, Alfie? I could keep all of you here and simply torture you until your countries start to fall apart! Then they'll remember..." I looked over to Francis, who had his hand on Alfred's other shoulder, and smiled at him.
"Papa, you're not trying to leave me, are you?" He shook his head slowly. "Good! Now, do either of you have your cell phone on you?" Alfred hesitated before reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his phone and handing it to me. I took it and began going through his contacts, before going over and blocking the doorway. After a minute they picked up.
"What the bloody hell do you want, Alfred?" Arthur said, as I put the phone on speaker.
"A-actually, Arthur, this is Matthew. I'm just borrowing Al's phone. I-I was wondering if you wanted to come over? Y-you don't have to, I just thought it would be nice to talk..." I grinned as Alfred looked at me in shock.
"I'm terribly sorry, who is this?" I balled up the hand at my side, causing Alfred and Francis to tense up.
"M-Matthew Williams. I'm the personification of Canada?"
"Oh, yes of course! I do apologize, Matthew! And yes, I would love to come over. I'll talk to you in a few hours." I grinned and hung up the phone, and continued going through the contact list, soon clicking on a new number.
"Hallo! This is the awesome Prussia!" I rolled my eyes.
"H-hi, Gilbert. This is Matthew. Um, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for p-pancakes?" God, I sounded so weak!
"Kesesese~! Ja sure, Birdie! Me und Gilbird will be over soon!"
"O-okay... Bye..." I sighed at that stupid nickname and threw Alfred's phone back to him. He caught it and quickly shoved it back into his pocket. Hopefully, they would know to tell the people at the border that they were countries.
"Mattie, don't do this. I'm sorry that I forget about you sometimes, okay? But when I found out your country was falling apart I was really worried about you. I still am." Alfred took a step towards me and I gave him a disgusted look.
"Shut up. Just shut. Up. I don't need your sympathy, Alfred. I don't need anyone's sympathy! Now be a good little brother, and hand that blade to me."
"No, Matt. I can't give it to you. Don't you understand that it's hurting you?" He put his foot over it and I frowned.
"Alfie, stop. You're making it worse. And besides, it doesn't hurt me anymore. It helps me. Now hand me the damn blade!" Alfred slid the blade behind him so I was unable to reach it, and I jumped at him, wrestling him to the ground while Francis ran over to the blade and picked it up. I look up at him after pinning Alfred's hands down.
"Papa, are we really going to do this? Because I don't think it's a smart idea." I looked at him sadly, when Alfred decided to bite my arm, thinking I would let him go. I looked down at him and laughed.
"Alfred, did you think that would work?" I tightened my grip and he glared up at me in disgust. "Oh, Alfie, stop trying to be the hero, okay? It's just making things worse for you." I turned back to Francis, who had the blade hidden behind his back.
"Matthieu, let him go. If you want this thing...well, I'll give it to you if you get off of him," I sighed. He was underestimating me.
"Papa, s'il vous plaît? I promise not to hurt either of you with it," I frowned at him, and he hesitated before realizing what I was doing. Francis looked away from me and sighed.
"What have you done to yourself, Matthieu?" I glared at him. All of this was becoming frustrating for me. If they wanted to make this difficult, fine.
"Francis, I've already told to that I didn't do this. You and Alfred did. Everyone did! What don't you understand about that!?" He looked at Alfred and then at me. But I wasn't finished. "I have tried my hardest to be noticed. But I can't be noticed and still be me!"
I closed my eyes tightly, trying to forget the pain. I needed that blade.
"Papa...I n-need it..." I gritted my teeth. "P-please, just give it to me!" I opened my eyes to find Francis kneeling in front of me, he expression full of concern.
"I...I can't do that... Je suis très désole, Matthieu..." I was about to knock him over, when I noticed Alfred had slipped out from under me somehow, and was hugging me from behind.
"Mattie...please..." He stuffed his face into my back, and I felt warm tears soak into my shirt. I froze, and then Francis joined in the hug.
"Matthieu, we care about you..." I opened my mouth to speak, when a memory of what made me do this washed over me.
-:-I walked into the meeting room, fiddling with my sleeves. The room was already half full of nations, all arguing with each other, and I walked by and took an empty seat next to Alfred's. Once Ludwig had calmed everyone down, he began talking about today's subject, while I tried getting Alfred's attention. I nudged his arm, and he looked over at me in confusion.
"What is it?" He whispered.
"I-I was wondering if you would be able to share m-my opinion for me?" Since nobody noticed me, I had figured this was my only way to get my opinion across.
Alfred pouted. "Aw, come on, bro," He groaned. Arthur shot a glare at him from across the table, and I shrank down into my seat.
"Y-you don't have to, Al..." He looked down at me.
"Mattie, just do it yourself. It's easy." He whispered, before turning his gaze back to his papers. He began ruffling them around, and Arthur cleared his throat to get his attention. When he didn't, he began to shout across he table.
"Alfred, you wanker! Would you stop talking to yourself and shuffling those bloody papers!?" At the head of the table, Ludwig sighed and sat back down in his seat, not bothering to calm the Brit.
"I wasn't talking to myself. I was talking to...uh... Canadia? No, wait...Canada! I was talking to Canada! And you talk to imaginary things all the time!" I looked up at Alfred in shock. Did he just...call me imaginary? Arthur stood up and slammed his hands down on to table.
"You git! Why can't you just shut up and pay attention for once!?" I watched as Alfred stood up as well.
"I was until Mattie asked me to share his opinion for him!" I felt my face turn red as the others began to mumble things. I listened in to Feliciano and Lovino Vargas.
"Ve~ Fratello, who's America talking about?" Feliciano was clinging to his brothers arm.
"Shut up, idiota! How should I know what the stupid American is talking about?!" Lovino shook off Feliciano and they both looked over to Alfred, who was arguing across the table with Arthur.
"A-Alfred, I'm sorry for-" Alfred looked in my direction.
"Bro, just stop apologizing for once. It's not ENTIRELY your fault that nobody can see you, okay?" He turned back to Arthur and I stiffened. He was right. It wasn't MY fault. No... It was his fault. All this time I blamed myself for not being noticed, when it was because of Alfred! I looked up at my brother, pushing my chair back, and then getting to my feet.
"You're right, Alfred... It's not..." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. He ignored me, and I walked out of the room, letting the large wooden doors slam behind me. I examined the empty hallway, and then leaned against a wall close to the door to think about what Alfred had said. I was beginning to feel hatred for him. It was unlike me, but I couldn't help it.
I sat outside the doors to the meeting room until it was over, and soon Alfred had come out, followed my an annoyed Arthur, and Francis, who was flirting with him. Alfred didn't noticed my legs, and tripped over them, sending himself to the floor. I looked at him worriedly, when I remembered what he said. My worried expression changed to a devious grin, as I realized that I had caused him at least a small amount pain. He got up in confusion, only to be yelled at by Arthur again.
"You twit! Stop tripping over your own feet, and learn to walk properly!" Francis looked down at me in confusion, and I smiled up at him.
"Angleterre, he didn't trip on his own feet. He tripped on Matthieu." Francis smiled back at me and put a hand on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur looked down at me, and soon realized who I was.
"Oh! I apologize...Matthew, is it? I didn't see you there..." Arthur rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, and I smiled.
"I-it's okay, Arthur. I guess you're kind of like Al. H-he doesn't see me much either." Arthur's face began to turn red, and he looked away from me.
"Right, well, I best be heading home now..." He pushed Francis's hand off of his shoulder, and began heading towards the front doors, before turning to say something. "I promise it won't happen again, Matthew." I giggled. He always said that. Alfred, who was now finished scanning himself for bruises, looked down at me.
"Yo, Mattie! Not cool, bro! Why didn't ya move your feet?" I sighed.
"W-why didn't you look where you were going, Al?" I crossed my arms, and Alfred looked at me, slightly shocked.
"Matthieu, you know your brother. He doesn't notice a lot of things." Francis put out a hand to help me up, and I grabbed it. Once I was on my feet, Alfred threw his arm over my shoulders.
"Don't listen to the Frenchie, Mattie! I totally knew you were there, I just...thought you'd move!" Alfred laughed awkwardly, when Francis came up to my other side and put his arm around my waist. I let out a small squeak.
"P-Papa, c-could you please n-not do that?" He smiled at me and winked.
"Ohonhon~ Pourquoi, Matthieu?" I was overwhelmed when Alfred moved closer to me, trying to "protect" me from Francis.
"Hey! Leave Mattie alone!" He glared a Francis.
"Why should I? He doesn't mind. Do you Matthieu?"
"W-well, it's a bit uncomfortable, but I-I guess I don't..." Alfred gaped at me.
"Mattie! Why are you gonna let him do that!?" I sighed. They were beginning to give me a headache.
"Al, p-please stop shouting..." I held my head and shut my eyes.-:-
I was brought back to reality. Francis and Alfred were still hugging me, when the doorbell rang. I shot up from the floor, and ran to the door, before Francis and Al could. I opened it to find both Arthur and Gilbert. They looked over me, and I realized I was still covered in cuts and dried blood. Gilbert threw his arms around me and I winced.
"Birdie! What the hell happened!?" He pulled away and held me at arms length to examine me once again.
"Matthew, who did this to you?" Arthur looked at me in concern and I smiled happily at both of them.
"Oh. Well, it's a long story. You two can sit down while I go and get Alfred and Francis." They looked at me in confusion as I pulled away from Gilbert, and made my way down the hall.
I looked in the room, and found Francis with his hand on Alfred's back. Alfred had his head in his hands, and I cleared my throat.
"We have guests over. I would also appreciate it if you let ME tell them what happened. Now come on, we can't be rude, right Papa?" I smiled and walked down the hallway and they both followed.
We made our way to the living room, and Gilbert and Arthur looked up at all of us. It was probably an odd sight. Alfred with tears staining his face. Francis who looked like a mess. And me: Covered in blood.
"A-Alfred? Francis?" Arthur rose to his feet, and I turned to look at the two behind me, sending them a glare that made them stiffen up. I turned back to Arthur.
"They're fine. Let me just...explain. Okay?" He nodded and sat back down.
"I'm going to tell you why I look like this, but please try not to turn out like Francis and Alfred. So, you both know how I'm not noticed? Well, that's why. See, at the last meeting I actually attended, Alfred made a good point for once. He told me it wasn't entirely my fault for not being noticed. And I realized he was right. It was his fault. Only, later on, I realized it was everyone's fault but my own. You all forgot about me at some point, see. Even if you did apologize every time you did. I didn't want that. I wanted to be noticed. To not have to hear 'Who are you?' And 'I promise it won't happen again, Matthew.'" I looked over my shoulder to see how Alfred was handling this, to find him looking out into space. I turned back to Arthur and Gilbert, who looked somewhat guilty.
"The thing is...I truly hate all of you. I just didn't realize it at first. I was blinded by my own kindness. Until I snapped. Did either of you notice that I haven't been around for about a week?" I watched as they looked at each other and back to me. Their faces full of guilt. I twisted my mouth into a grin. "I didn't think so. Would you like to see where I've been keeping myself prisoner? You might not like it, though... I know Alfred didn't..." Arthur nodded slowly, and I began walking back down to the hallway with all four of them behind me, down to the dark room with no door. Before we entered the room, I turned to face them all.
"I'm just going to warn you that it's not going to smell very nice. Still wanna see it?" I smiled when none of them looked up at me. They were busy trying to look into the room, so I walked inside. The first one of them that actually entered the room was Gilbert. Followed by Arthur, then Francis, but not Alfred. No, Alfred was standing outside. Starring into the room in fear. Gilbert examined the writing that the walls, then looked over to me.
"Birdie... We didn't mean to...to hurt you like this. I'm so sorry for doing this to you..." I starred at Gil in confusion. He actually accepted that it was his fault...
"Will you forgive me for all the times I acted like an idiot and forgot about you, Birdie? Please?" I had no words for him. Instead, I continued starring at him, just like Francis and Arthur were. Gilbert looked like he was in pain...
"Hell, nobody even knows what Prussia is anymore! So...I guess I know how you feel. Did that make sense?" He took a few steps towards me and I nodded slowly.
"Good. At least I don't sound like a mumbling idiot." He smiled at me and made his way closer to me. I began to back up.
"Wait, Birdie. Just...stay still for me, okay? I don't wanna hurt you," My back hit the cold wall, and Gilbert gradually came closer to me, soon being so close that I could feel his breath on my face. I looked at the floor, while Francis, Arthur, and now Alfred, were all starring at the Prussian in shock. They also looked a bit worried for him...
"Matthew, you aren't alone. You have all of us, understand? We may forget you sometimes, but that doesn't mean we don't try our hardest to remember you. Have you ever forgotten where you put something?" I nodded slowly as he put his hands on my shoulders. "And did you spend hours trying to remember where you left it? Did you try nonstop to remember it?" I nodded again, and noticed that Gilbert was smiling down at me sadly.
"That's what we do with you. You're our lost item, Birdie. We'll try and remember you until it slowly kills us." Gilbert wiped the hot tears that had made their way down my cheeks, and cupped my damp face in his hands, forcing me to look up at him.
"And losing you? That would kill us instantly, Matthew. I don't want you to feel like you shouldn't exist, okay?" I shut my eyes.
"S-stop. Gil, you'll probably j-just forget me within a few hours... Don't you get it?" He took one of his hands from my face and began rummaging through his pocket for something. A few seconds later, he pulled out a Sharpie, and put it to his arm. When he was finished he showed me what he had written. "Matthew Williams" He had written my name in a permanent marker... I watched as Francis went up next to him, taking the Sharpie, and doing the same thing. Then Alfred and Arthur. Gilbert smiled down at me.
"See? We care about you, and we're gonna try our hardest to protect you, Birdie. Hell, if we do forget you, you can just go ahead and slap us for being arschlöcher! We deserve it for forgetting someone like you." I frowned. Gilbert meant it, I could tell, but I wished he didn't. If it was possible, I'd end my life right now, for ever putting them through this. I had let my anger take over, and they didn't truly deserve this.
"Birdie? What's wrong?" I looked up at him sadly.
"I...I'm sorry..." I hugged him, burying my face into his chest as he rubbed my back carefully.
"You don't need to apologize, Birdie. Not for this. You only did this because you felt unimportant. I should have told you how much I cared about you before, but I didn't realize what being alone did to you." He carefully pulled back from me and tilted my head up so I was looking at his face. He smiled before softly pushing his lips to mine. For once, I felt important. Gilbert soon pulled away before smiling at me. I could feel the blush spread across my face.
"Kesese~ Ich leibe dich, Birdie. We all do." Right on cue, all for of them embraced me in one big hug.
I heard Alfred whisper something in my ear. "I love ya, big bro..." I let out a small laugh.
It had been a month later, and most of my scars were gone. Alfred and Gilbert had insisted on fixing up that room, and then refurnished it. Al also got me a new door, considering he knocked down the other one.
Sure, I still went unnoticed by some of the nations, but Alfred, Francis, Gilbert, or Arthur would always try to fix that. I've managed to get my opinions across during meetings, as well. Everything turned out...better for me in the end. My people have helped each other, and my borders with Alfred were reopened. I was healing, and so was my country.
