One day the dog that mr muggles was watching on tv (his name is snaps) was walking through the copy kingdom. "NO DOGS ALLOWED!!!!!!" said the manager who got his pinky twisted (his name is ethan). ethan got really mad. so he picked up snaps to throw him out of the building. but then he decided that snaps was a cool dog so he decided to hold and pet snaps. snaps looked glad to be petted!!!
meanwhile, in the rest of the world (ie not america) that ukranian guys wife and child were going to the doctor. the child was sick with a cold (the kids name is sidirov and the wife is tatyana). so he went to that lady in honduras (her name is gato). gato said "hello i can cure people or something. take my hands" so sidirov took her hands and she held them and then made buzzing noises out of her head. "you are sick with a cold!!! i can not cure the common cold." tatyana fainted because she was so sad that her child had a cold!!!
snaps and ethan went home together that night. ethans house was small and dingy but it was nice enough i guess. there was no dog food though!!! ethan looked all around for dog food but couldnt find any. snaps looked sad!!!as ethan was looking for dog food it turned out that the cheerleader with the black hair from claires high school (her name is june) came home. they were siblings!!! "hello brother, hi there snaps" and she hugged and petted snaps. ethan said "we do not have any food for dog" and then june said "i know a way we can get dog food" while she glared evilly at the camera. and then snaps looked at the camera and made a scared face because he was scared!!
then June said "let's go to the grocery store" and dramatic music played and the camera zoomed in really far and hit June in the face and she died. ethan and snaps went to the grocery store and they ran into that one waitress at the burnt toast diner!!! that one waitress at the burnt toast diner was visiting her uncle, who is claire's biology teacher!!!, and she said "oh my golly goodness that is the cutest dog i did ever see". ethan was in love! snaps was too! ethan and that one waitress at the burnt toast diner got married and then divorced and then she went home (oh btw her name was paula).
back in honduras sidirov was running around sneezing. he sneezed so hard he went back in time!!!! (that is his power!!) he found himself in japan, in the past!! white beard found sidirov and said "hi" except he said it in japanese and the words in english displayed on the screen. sidirov said "hi i'm sidirov" and the words in english were on the screen too except he was speaking ukrainian or whatever. white beard adopted sidirov and they became best friends.
SUDDENLY the guy that repaired hiro's sword died!! he was murdered by someone. who cares. anyway his best friend, nathan petrelli's former limo driver, was really sad. he had a new job now, he was a taxi driver. he loved driving taxis and oh wait his name was gregory. gregory loved driving taxis and drove them all over the place every waking moment of every day of his life. one day he drove so far he wound up in ireland!!! he went to explore this strange new land when he met a cop. it was the cop who briefly talked to elle, his name was lucky. lucky and gregory went to the pub together and then a strange figure came through the door!! he said "lucky, it's time to meet your destiny!!!!!"
just then, that girl who got raped by claires boyfriend who she crashed into a wall came in (her name is destiny) and he said "this is yours isnt it lucky" and lucky said yes because destiny was his daughter. they were glad to see each other again and they hugged and activated their powers which was to make everyone in the room clap and say "awwww" so anyway sidirov and white beard were walking through andient japan when sidirov sneezed and they both ended up in that pub in ireland and they met lucky and destiny for the first time and they were all friends!!!
meanwhile paula was concocting a plan to get back at ethan and snaps because she hated snaps (even though snaps liked her). so she called the guy who worked at the diamond shop who was also a skilled assassin to kill ethan and snaps who fights with diamond weapons (that's his power also his name is percival). so percival got on an airplane to fly to wherever ethan and snaps live and he packed up all of his weapons and took them on the plane with him!!! just then the plane crashed and he died. paula was mad so she decided to go to snaps's house herself. so she got there and snaps answered the door and she said "watch out snaps" and then she burnt all of the toast within a 5 mile radius (that's her power) and snaps surrendered and jumped into her arms but not before ethan came home from work and saw her taking snaps away so he went to try to rescue snaps!!!!
ethan ran after her and tried to activate his power but he doesnt have a power. so instead he tripped over claires cheerleading coach and he hit his face and said "ouch" and she said "ouch" and they looked at each other. he said "come help me get my dog" and she said "no" and walked away forever so ethan kept going anyway!!
sidirov, white beard, lucky, and destiny were walking around ireland when white beard said "i miss japan". snaps barked, but he wasn't there so it didn't affect what was going on. lucky and destiny felt bad for white beard so they all decided to take a trip to japan! when they got there, they ran into sidirov's mom, tatyana!!! back in honduras tatyana woke up and found sidirov gone and didn't know what to do so she decided to go to japan. white beard said "hello-san" to tatyana and they fell in love and got married right on the spot. sidirov was so happy that white beard was his dad that he cried. then he sneezed and disappeared!!
lucky and destiny were walking around japan when suddenly they ran into andos boss! his name was mr bossu and boy he was angry!! lucky and destiny didn't want a fight but they sure were about to get one. bossu punched lucky and destiny screamed! then she contorted her face and then there was a big ripple effect around the area. then bossu was applauding lucky!! lucky was so happy he jumped 500 feet into the air. bossu went away and lucky and destiny decided to live in japan for a while maybe.
ethan was running and running and then forgot why he was running. paula said "i have snaps and i will kill him unless you meet my demands" ethan was willing to do anything for snaps. paula said "my best friend in the world was charlie, the girl who had super memory power, and then she died and now i want her back" ethan said "what are you talking about" paula cried. snaps flew into the air and landed in ethan's arms. when ethan looked up, paula was gone!!!!!! oh no wait he was just looking in the wrong spot, paula was still there crying. then she took out a gun and aimed it at ethan!! then ethan remembered a painting he saw in a museum that had a picture of paula aiming a gun at him, and he realized it had come true!!!
ethan screamed!! then he realized that he was actually thinking of Munch's The Scream, which didn't actually tell the future. just then sidirov popped in out of nowhere from a sneeze and crashed into paula and she exploded. ethan and snaps said "hi" and sidirov said "ok". suddenly tatyana and white beard ran over "there you are, my son" tatyana said, and they had a tearful reunion. then lucky and destiny came over and said "boy living in japan sure is fun but it is nice to visit this place every once a while" everyone said hi to each other when suddenly there was a loud sound.
paula said "i will kill all of you" and she was about to when all of the sudden niki's personality gina ran over and punched paula and she exploded again. everyone said "yay" but then gina punched them too. she beat up everyone and they all were sad and dead. gina went away to LA and was happy then sad.
END VOLUME 1!!!!!!!!!!!
