Hello all! Once in the past I have attempted to write a James/Lily fic, but it kind of died and wasn't that good, etc. It was difficult for me to write, so this is me trying again. I don't do this kind of thing all too much, but I've decided to play around with the timeline structure of this story and so, of course, it's really confusing. In every chapter there will be two parts- the Forward part and the Backward Part. Basically, half of each chapter is the events from the start of sixth year, going forwards in chronological order; and the other is from after seventh year ends, going instead backwards, in reverse chronological order. When both parts of the story meet there is a BIG MYSTERIOUS EVENT CLIMAX which will not be revealed until the last chapter (which it is in). I know it's confusing, but it's a challenge for me and I'm going to try and make it as uncomplicated as possible. As well as that, my writing is full of random side-stories, anecdotes, and offshoots which will pop up and then may never be heard of again. So I suppose this story isn't for the faint of heart. Thanks for reading, and reviews and (constructive) criticism are appreciated!
i. the beginning and the end; the fallen death eater
FORWARD -
January 1978
Lily Evans stood wreathed in steam. There are quite a few wonderful places where one may stand wreathed in steam- a sauna, hot springs- but the not-so-young-anymore girl felt that the place where she stood, wreathed in steam, may have been the most fantastic of them all. She was standing on Platform 9 3/4; in the spot where she'd stood many times before, but this time seemed especially special. She rolled the words out through her tongue. "Especially special." She liked the sound of the phrase; it had soft hissing sounds in some places, nice full vowels in others, and ending with a beautiful little "L". So perhaps she was biased- her name, after all, was Lily. She had to love the letter "L". Lily Evans smiled, shook her head of ginger in exasperation at herself- for really, who stands on steam-wreathed platforms saying "Especially special"?
With a second "Especially special" that she could not help but let escape through her lips, Lily turned around to search for the trolley on which she had just let go of for a few seconds- but of course, a lot of things can happen in a few seconds.
A Few Seconds
One second was the time it took for James Potter to spot Lily Evans on the crowded platform. He was well trained in the art of Lily-spotting; so much so that he could spot her in one second. And he did- one second, one heartbeat, and she was there. He smiled, and that took another second. James smiled because the sight of her standing there, muttering something inaudible to herself- he'd seen her lips move- made him smile. And lastly, James took a deep breath and moved toward Lily Evans. She spoke again, but this time he was close enough to hear.
How many of something constitutes as a few is purely subjective, but James managed to spot, smile, and move in what everyone agreed to be a few seconds. The few milliseconds before he opened his mouth were either the worst or the best; James hadn't decided. On the one hand, he was filled with hope that this encounter might not go quite as bad as the last ones had. On the other... nerves besieged him that this encounter might be the worst to-date.
He opened his mouth, and the few seconds ended.
"Especially special, huh?" He said, and Lily's face decided the time was right for a change of colour and temperature- her cheeks stained with a glorious red and burned as he kept speaking. "I'll tell you what's especially special-"
"Me, I've heard." Lily said bitterly, her face on fire. If anything could reach in and snatch her out of her exhilarated, start-of-term mood, it was the incessant flirting and flattery directed towards her by James Potter. Theirs was a complicated story, one that had been tangled and gnarled hopelessly with plot twists, arguments, embarrassments, and heartbreak since the very beginning in first year. Little did Lily Evans know that the story of Lily and James was about to get even more convoluted- but not just yet. At that moment, their story was continuing much as anyone could expect.
"You seem sure of yourself, Evans." James let a chuckle slip past the plastic fork he was chewing absentmindedly. "I was honestly going to say Sirius, but there you are."
"What does that even mean, "there you are"?" Lily pulled her face into a frown. She disliked the way James talked; his words looped around over themselves until they had lost all meaning. It grated on her nerves, until she sometimes snapped and began to yell at him- often, she would admit, for this slightly unfair reason. Still, the other times she yelled were completely justified.
"What do you think, Evans?" James smiled enigmatically around the fork. "There you are means there you are- there we all are, in the end." He hopped down from where he has just perched on the edge of her trolley; somehow, it hadn't broken under his weight. "Anyway;" He took the chewed, twisted fork out of his mouth and tossed it down onto the train tracks. Lily eyed the blatant littering disapprovingly. "Had a good Christmas, Evans?"
"It was alright." Lily replied stiffly. To vastly understate, she and James Potter did not get along. Lily had never had any degree of patience for his cruel jokes and pranks- more often than not performed at the expense of others- even more so now that they were older. She was a prefect and he... he had only taken his pranks to a new, horrible level as he had grown older. "Yours?"
"Good, good." He appeared delighted that she had responded civilly. He was no doubt delighted for good reason, as Lily frequently got rather infuriated with him and things were not unknown to end in shouting matches. "Seeing the family and taking a break's nice, but I suppose it's not the same as Hogwarts."
"No." Lily agreed, not truly listening. She had sworn to go home for Christmas every year, but could not say with complete honesty that she enjoyed it. She sighed and moved forward to regain control of her trolley. "I'll see you around, then, Potter."
"No- wait- L- Evans." As she regained control of her trolley, James lost and regained control of his voice. Her lips quirked up slightly at that thought.
James saw the half-smile and it reassured him.
"I was just thinking-"
But Lily had had enough; she'd spotted someone particular in the crowd swarming towards the train. "I find that surprising, Potter." She snapped before she could think. She looked up guiltily; taking in James's hurt face with a single sweep of her eyes. Severus hanging upside down by his ankle, Lily thought. This tactic- thinking of all the horrible things James had done- was a pathetic excuse, a stupid system of justification she had come up with for deliberately insulting James Potter. It didn't completely eradicate the burning guilt in her stomach, but it lessened it. Calling him names. Lily felt a jolt as another name that had been called that fateful day came to mind. Why was she thinking of that now?
A pained expression filled his face before it vanished altogether, indifference hardening his eyes. "Whatever you want to think, Evans."
"Don't you have some first years to bully?" The words escaped her lips, soaring into the air like a poisonous insect. James's indifference slid into anger, and Lily was frightened at what he said next- how did he know she had just been thinking of it?
"Don't you have some Death Eater friends to protect? Or is that not a priority since they all start calling you names in the end?"
Mudblood.
Lily stifled a sob. "I hate you."
- BACKWARD
May 1979
Lily stifled a laugh. "I love you."
"Love you too, Lillers." James laughed into the foam of his beer. He was glad that they still- probably always would- found ways to joke, and laughing relaxed them and calmed their constantly-on-edge nerves. It had been a while since either of them had had a chance to take a day off; between Order missions and... well, other Order missions, there was little time for them to spend a casual day out together. James yawned and one hand dove into his messy hair. "Saving the Wizarding World's a busier job than I thought, honestly. Dunno what-"
"Sorry, did you just say the wizarding world?" Came a curious voice-the bartender, a heavily made-up young woman with locks of hair that rose like stalagmites from her head.
"Ah, shit, no, er. I meant..." James looked to his wife for help. She laughed. He turned red- embarrassed, but not enough to fail to appreciate how pretty she looked when she laughed, her eyes crinkling up around the edges.
"He's just embarrassed. We're magicians- well, he is. I'm just the bimbo in the box he cuts in half." Lily accompanied this with a satisfied smile, almost exploding with laughter at the alarmed expression on James's face. She had no doubt that he had no idea about bimbos in boxes getting sawed in half, and she loved it. She liked going out into the muggle world; the people there weren't in a constant state of oppressing fear.
The bartender eyed them curiously. "Do you do card tricks, then?" She asked, reaching to pour someone a pint of Hobgoblin from the tap. "Had a bloke in here the other day dressed like John Lennon showing off his card tricks. I thought he was kind of rubbish at the time 'cos he kept dropping his cards but turned out it was all just part of the act." She grinned and leaned forward, her elbows on the bar.
"John Lennon? Who's that?" James repeated blankly.
Lily smacked her head on the bar in exasperation and the bartender shot James a glance- half-amused, half-disbelieving. "That one's had too much to drink, if you ask me." She gave Lily a friendly pat on the shoulder, then straightened up to go fill out orders. "Either that or he's an idiot. Cute, though, so keep him around."
Lily smirked and grabbed James's arm to pull him to his feet. "Come on, idiot." She deposited the appropriate amount of money on the counter and waved a cheery farewell to the bartender.
"Alright, bimbo in a box. What was that all about anyway?" James wrapped his arm around Lily's shoulder and they made towards the door. Lily giggled and started to reply, but was cut off by the sounds of screaming and explosions.
At once, Lily and James pulled out their wands, a simultaneous fluid motion that was obviously well practiced. To the Muggles in the pub, they might have looked ridiculous, but none were looking at the young couple. They were trying to see what was happening out of the window; unfortunately covered up with posters advertising live sporting events on the pub TV so that it was impossible to discern what was going on. James and Lily, however, knew at once. They'd heard the sounds too many times not to know.
"Everyone- stay in here! Don't leave this pub!" James bellowed. The eyes of all the muggle patrons and bartender flicked in his direction, but he had already grabbed Lily's hand and the both of them were out the door.
"Colloportus." Lily hissed, and the door clicked as it locked securely. They turned to face the commotion- screaming Muggles ran in all directions from a small group of black-robed, masked figures.
"This was supposed to be our day off!" Whined James, as his wife beside him gathered the energy to conjure a communicative patronus. Realising this, he placed his hand on her shoulder. "No time; I'll call Sirius with the mirrors." She nodded and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him before dashing off. A thought flashed through the panic in her mind. The muggles. As Lily cast a shield around the nearest group- huddled together, wide-eyed, shaking- James had succeeded in alerting Sirius. Two order members-Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon- apparated on the street and the Death Eaters noticed; masked faces turned towards the newcomers. Spells began to fly wildly; flashes of colour and light, tremendous explosions shook the ground under their feet; James never lost sight of Lily, red hair flying as she dueled; he stepped in next to her and began his own volley of ferocious spells. Stupefy, petrificus totalus, levicorpus- James's brain went into a repeating pattern, pausing only to block offensive magic aimed his way.
Countless stunning spells, curses, and Unforgivables- the last coming only from the Death Eaters- later, it was finished; the Death Eaters, sensing impending defeat, disapparated in a flurry of black. All except for one, knocked unconscious by Sirius Black. The four Order members approached, scrambling over rubble. James kicked the man over and shoved the mask off his face.
He felt Lily's intake of breath beside him.
Mudblood.
Something within Lily's throat stuck. She couldn't swallow or breathe; her mouth felt dry and she was hit by a wave of dizziness, of utter confusion exploding within her. Her companions stiffened as they, too, recognised the face that stared up at them. "Fuck." Sirius breathed, fist clenching tighter around his wand.
"I'm waking him up." Lily heard herself say. She knew it was what she wanted to do.
"No- Lily!" James grabbed her arm as Marlene and Sirius made simultaneous noises of shock. "He's not like he was before- you've seen him, attacking Muggles. He'll try and kill us as soon as look at us." His eyes pleaded with her, panic suffusing them. Panic suffused everything. Did Lily really not see? Was she so blinded by the past? "He's a bloody Death Eater-"
Lily shook herself out of his grasp. "I only want a word." She said, curtly, before pointing her wand at the figure on the ground. "Reernevate."
Severus Snape awoke.
She leaned over him.
His condescending tone echoed in her ears. Mudblood, mudblood, mudblood. The sight of him prowling through the streets, attacking innocent Muggles, played repeatedly before her eyes. The pain of the Cruciatus Curse, the helpless terror of the Imperius Curse... worst of all, the hollow feeling as lives were taken by a flash of green light and a scream of "Avada Kedavra". All this Lily saw and heard where she had previously seen friendship and heard laughter.
"Hello, Sev."
He turned noticeably pale- as much as was possible considering the already sallow skin that clung tightly to the bones of his face. Severus Snape stared at her, unblinkingly. James flinched at her use of his old nickname, and the movement caught Severus's attention. His eyes flickered towards James. Everyone noticed this saccade- especially when the cold black gaze slid down to the now intertwined hands of Lily and James Potter.
Mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood, mudblood.
"Having fun with your new life, are you, Sev?" Lily said coldly, taking everyone by surprise. The silence had stretched on for longer than she'd realised. "Having fun murdering innocent people?" She took a step closer to him. Still, nobody said anything. Blood pounded in her ears. "You coward."
She leaned close to his face. "I hate you, you bastard." She lifted her foot and stomped on his face, hard, three times. "I hate everything that you are."
Lily glanced up at James. He was smiling, though a little sadly. Her heart cleared; this battle- the battle she'd been fighting since fifth year when Severus Snape had changed everything- this battle had been won.
As the fallen Death Eater got to his feet and apparated away, they didn't even look back.
