hi! this isn't my first attempt to write a fanfic, but for sure it's the first in writing on which isn't in my native language, I apologize in advance if my English is not that good. Big thank you to patty_spallen on instagram, who edited this shot. Now, who was hurt by Patty leaving Barry and him who didn't let her taking his hands? ok, then this is an alternate ending from that moment, plus a missing moment. I hope you all like it! I'd love to know what do you think about the story!

I don't own The Flash. If i did, Patty and Barry would be still together and happy. Or Barry would be engaged to me.


Take me home

"hey!"
Barry and Doctor Snow turned around to find Patty who was entering in the lab.
"Hi Caitlin" she greeted the other woman before gesturing between Barry and herself
"uhm, can we talk?" she asked. Barry was a little surprised
"uhm, yeah. Yeah, for sure" he replied before turning again to look at his computer. "I'll let you know what I find" he then said to Caitlin, who thanked him and went away to leave the two lovers alone.
"what's up?" asked Barry in a dry tone, straight to the point. Patty gesturing to the door where Caitlin was just seconds ago.
"I didn't know you.. work with star labs" said Patty. She was nervous. Barry looked at her a little puzzled. And panicked a little, but immediately he found an answer
"yeah, Ca.. uhm, yeah, Joe and I help them once a while" he crossed his arms. Patty seemed surprised by his answer.
"really? Well probably I shouldn't tell you this but there's a lot of weird stuff that happens over there" she said and Barry couldn't help to let go a little chuckle, also because of the relief that Patty didn't seem to want to ask further questions. For a heartbeat they just stayed there, looking at each other with a small and not really comfortable smile.
"is that what you came to tell me?" he asked frowning. He wasn't angry at her, but for sure he was hurt. And a little confused. Patty needed some seconds to find her voice again.
"Uhm.. you're just rolling with the whole 'me leaving' thing" she said.
Barry didn't looked at her.
"Yeah, well, I don't know what to tell you, Patty" he admitted. "Everyone in my life I love leaves at some point. Kind of getting used to it" he said still avoiding looking directly at her and missing her hurt expression and her eyes going a little wide. Was that some kind of very hidden declaration?
"You.. never told me you loved me" she said. The words left her mouth before she could really think about them. She wasn't really fishing for an I love you. What she meant was more like "I'm not someone you really love in that way". Or was she that person, was her leaving a further confirmation for Barry's word? If that was the case she also could easily understand why Barry was so reluctant about opening himself up to people.
Barry shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess I don't get the chance now" he said. You could clearly hear how hurt and sad he was. Patty couldn't accept it. She cared about him too much.
"I don't understand! What is it? What is going on with you? Why are you being like this?" she asked, nearly crying, while he shook his head.
"My life is complicated, and I don't want you to have regrets, all right?" he said . " I don't want you to miss out on something you've always wanted to do. And I wish things were different for both of us, you know. But they're not. Sorry."
He was honest with his words, she could tell that. She could add more pieces to the puzzle but still she couldn't understand it all.
"me too" she said. It was just a little more than a whisper. She wanted to cry. And she turned around and left the office to do exactly so, but she missed Barry mirroring her feelings and the latter of her actions. That wasn't going to be easy. And thinking about how truly happy he was with her and because of her only few days ago made him almost feel sick.

Barry entered in his office and stopped at the door: Patty was on his chair, he could see only the top of her head. She didn't seem to hear him.
"Hey" he said to announce his presence. She turned around to see him.
"hey" she replied standing.
"Got your text" Barry was short and dry. He was really upset. Maybe this wasn't the best moment to talk with him, but she didn't have another chance.
"I wasn't sure that you would see me, considering you've been avoiding me lately" she said almost shyly. Barry passed her whiletaking his jacket off.
"Patty, I haven't been avoiding you" he answered, but that was pretty much a lie and both of them knew that. But that wasn't important.
"No, just uh.. busy.. you know, speeding around Central City" she said. Barry took a few seconds to turn and face her. He now knew she knew the truth, Joe told him Patty figured it out on her own. But he couldn't bear the idea of her sacrificing her dream again, now because of him. And more of that, the idea she could be in danger because of him. He sighed.
"I know you're The Flash, Barry" she said. It was a statement. And she wasn't angry.
"Patty, come on" he started, but she interrupted him, calmly but resolute.
"Please, don't make me feel any more stupid than I already do" she said. He opened his mouth to reply, but Patty started talking fast.
"Look, I'm a detective and I should have known. I was just.. I was so smitten with you." She said. She had to tell him that, she couldn't wait anymore. He deserved to know how deep her feelings were toward him.
"okay, look, what.. what you are saying, it's insane" he tried. But Patty was a little tired of that. She was in love with him, couldn't he understand that? She didn't care about him hiding the truth for so long, she didn't care about him being a metahuman and a hero.
"look, you don't have to lie to me anymore, okay?" she said getting close to him. "I understand. I understand why you didn't want to tell me." She said trying to take his hands in hers. But he stepped back. And that hurt her. A lot. Her eyes watered in a second, before she could even try to swallow them back. Barry noticed that, too, and he felt guilty.
"I understand why you've been distant. Look, I understand everything. But just tell me the truth now. Just be honest with me, just.. admit to me you are The Flash and I'll stay" she said. Her eyes were full of tears and she couldn't hide the hope in her voice. She didn't want to leave him. She wanted to be with him. But Barry shook his head.
"I can't do that, I'm not him" he replied, barely whispering.

But his eyes were betraying him. Patty placed a hand on his forearm, getting closer.
"please" she implored him. Some electricity passed between them, between her hand and his arm and they both felt it. She saw him stiffening and then his eyes went from her hand to her own eyes to her lips. Before she could even blink, his hands were cupping her face and his lips were on hers. She gasped in surprise and he took advantage of that to deepen the kiss. It was fast, rough and desperate, he was holding onto her like if his life depended on that. That was so different from the always caring and almost too gentle Barry she was used to, but she understood what was behind his rush and his need, mostly because she shared both those things. She brought a hand to the back of his neck, tugging at his hair to get as close to him as possible. With the other hand she gripped the hem of his shirt. He let her face go, but his hands were now on her hips, he tightened his grip to pull her harder against his body, and she felt the edge of the desk pressing at her back. He put a light pressure on her hips and she found herself sitting on the desk itself, ignoring whatever was occupying it, Barry standing in between her legs, trying to get closer and closer to her, like he wanted their bodies to melt together. He never broke the kiss. He removed her jacket rapidly, and then moved his hands up and down Patty's bare arms before they found their place at the sides of her ribcage, his thumbs brushing against the swollen of her breasts. She slipped a trembling hand under his shirt to brush her finger lightly against his abs, the other trembling hand rested on his belt, as she was trying to decide whether to take it off right there or not. Again, some electricity passed between them and their light but heated touches. The air was now a necessity so Barry broke the kiss. He opened his eyes and melted right away with the sight he had in front of him and it was right there that he fell in love with Patty deeper than he already was. She was staring at him with her lips swollen and parted, her cheeks flushed and wet with tears he knew came from both of them, her wonderful eyes wide and dark with lust, love and a lot more.
"Take me home, Barry" she pleaded him. "Take me home now".
He didn't want to lie anymore, nor wanted to be without her.
"Hold on me" he said with a wink and a smile, taking her bridal style. She mirrored his grin.
"I'm seeing someone" she replied.
"me too" was Barry's answer. And only a few seconds later they were in front of Patty's apartment.
"Wow, I guess super speed really comes in handy sometimes" she exclaimed when her feet were on the solid floor again. Barry might be the flash, but Patty was really fast, too: he didn't get time to answer that her mouth was again on his. She opened the door and pushed him in, slamming it behind her, leaving their fears and lies at their back.

They were lying in Patty's bed, the sheets tangled around them. Their clothes were on the floor in a trail that went from the front door to the bedroom. Patty was cuddled at his side, half over him. He could feel her soft skin against his. Her head was resting on his chest, right there were his heart was, her hand tracing a lazy pattern while he was brushing her hair with his finger. He loved doing that, it was something that helped both of them relaxing. Both of them were silent. They knew they should talk about a lot of things, but the day was too emotional and really drained all of their energy. That was obviously aside from the emotionally draining time earlier. They barely made it to the bedroom, but once there, things started to slow down. There, for the first time, he said to her that he loved her and wanted to be with her. There she said she loved him too, that she wanted to take her chances and that she couldn't care less about his lies and secret identity. There they made love, then held each other while crying, then made love again. And again.
"You know, I can hear you thinking" said Patty resting her chin on her fist, looking at him. He smiled softly and cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
"I was just thinking we really need to talk. But I also think we can manage to go through everything easily now that we are totally honest with each other" he said sitting up. Patty imitated him but she also grabbed his shirt from the floor and slipped it on, mirroring the smile he had on his lips while staring at her buttoning it up. The shirt was really big on her and had his cologne. She loved everything about that, he would know since he already said goodbye to a couple of his shirts which he could easily find in Patty's closet.
"What?" She asked kneeling on the bed, near him.
"Nothing. I just can't get enough of seeing you like that" he replied honestly. She smiled softly before leaning forward to press a gentle kiss on his mouth. It was Barry who broke the silence between them few minutes later:
"you really meant what you said earlier? About my lies and everything?" He asked, his voice full of hope and curiosity.
"well, yes. I can understand why you didn't want to tell me, it's a pretty big thing. And the lies were just a side effect of that. You are a hero, Barry. My hero. This city's hero. At first I was pissed at you for your lies, yes, but now it really doesn't matter, because I know why. I would have done the same thing, you know? You may be The Flash, but you are also Barry Allen, the guy I fell in love with and that doesn't change anything". She answered with a shrug of her shoulders.
"I still am sorry for lying to you" he apologized.
"Barry, it's ok! Really. I understand everything and I forgive you. I know you are telling me the truth now, aren't you? No more lies, no more excuse. Now I can't be pissed at you if you ran away from a date with me, because hello, you are saving the city!" she said, winking at him and making him chuckle. They were silent for a few seconds, just sat there looking lovingly at each other, his hand on her thigh, stroking it gently.
"Can I ask you something?" she asked him tilting her head while watching him.
"Sure, anything!"
"your super speed.. it was the lightning, right? How? I mean, every metahuman hit by the explosion got a power based on what they were doing or what was happening to them during the storm. Were you just running around? And can you do something else?" she was just curious and Barry couldn't help but laugh a little at the mental image of him running back and forth in his lab before being struck by the lighting that changed his life.
"Yeah, it was the lightning. Actually, now that you are pointing it out it's true and pretty weird. I simply was in my lab, working. I saw the explosion. There was some water entering in the lab, so I tried to fix it and then it happened. Nine months later I woke up from the coma in STAR labs. Totally fine. We didn't even realize I got powers until later that day when I thought something was wrong with me, because I saw the world slowing down. And another power is that I heal really fast, too. A badly broken bone will be ok in few hours" he explained, giving her so many answer in few sentences.
"so that's why it was like I didn't do anything when I tried to leave you a hickey! I was wondering what was wrong with that!" Patty said hitting him playfully on his chest. He caught her hand laughing and tugged gently at her making Patty fell on him on purpose.
"I guess I'm the one who's gonna mark you, uh?" Barry whispered on her lips
"Whatever, I'll just wear more lipstick. You're not color proof." she murmured before finding her mouth busy in a much better activity than talking. Barry's hand started travelling along her body, but Patty stopped him after a few seconds of their kiss.
"No way, mister! You're not gonna distract me with a make out session!" she said returning to her previous position at Barry's side.
"party pooper!" pouted the speedster placing his hand on her leg again.
"shut up, you love me!" she exclaimed sticking her tongue out at him. Barry's feature softened and a huge grin appeared on his face while he answered that yes, he did love her. So much. Patty's heart dropped in her chest and the now familiar sensation of butterflies in her stomach makes their appearance violently, like it always did when she was with Barry. She needed to bite her lips hard and focus on other things to avoid jumping on him and restarting what she just interrupted.
"How did you figure it out?" She asked then Barry brought her back. Patty blinked.
"uh.. thanks to few things, actually. Long story short, when the turtle kidnapped me he said it was to hurt the person who cared about me the most. I didn't understand what you had to do with him and apparently he neither, because he said that he was hurting The Flash, that he saw how he saved me. And I started putting the puzzle together thanks to him. I mean, whenever I was In danger, The Flash came. At the dance you disappeared and a few seconds later the Flash appeared and saved me. He did it countless times, actually. When I hugged you.. or him after you knocked out the turtle I also thought that your body was really familiar to me and… well, you didn't always changed your voice. Also, when I was going to shoot Mardon you stopped me and called my name, and I never told it to The Flash. Then I went through a lot of your cases and I did notice that in a very good amount of them there were too many details, things that you couldn't have known if you weren't there. I asked Joe and he became nervous and tried to persuade me otherwise. He also asked me if I ever saw you running, 'cause you waddle like a duck" she told him, giggling at the very last part.
"he told you so? Really!?" He asked incredulous and a little offended.
"Oh, come on, he was only trying to protect your identity. Besides, I think that's cute. You are my ducky!" she purred winking at him and moving closer to him, in his lap to be exact, lacing her arms around his neck. Barry's hands automatically found her skin.
"Your ducky, uhu? Is that my new pet name?" he smirked her way, noticing with pride that goosebump were forming on her harms while he stroked her bare thighs. She bit her lower lip closing her eyes, and hummed something in both appreciation and answer to his question before leaning forward to press her mouth on his. He deepened the kiss, but Patty sighed and broke it, also stopping his hands, now up on her body, under the shirt.
"you know, I meant everything I said earlier today. I can drop the offer and stay here with you." She said in a serious tone.
"But I don't want you to, Patty!" exclaimed Barry. It was like he slapped her. Sadness, anger and a lot more hit Patty. Feeling hurt, embarrassed and somehow dirty, she started to slip down from Barry's lap, but he stopped her with a hint of panic when he realized what he said.
"Wait, wait! I didn't mean the way you understood!" he said rapidly. "I'm sorry, that came out really bad. Hear me out, ok?" he asked. She only nodded, some fear and hurt still visible on her features.
"Believe me, I'd love you to be here with me, I really do. But I'm not comfortable with you being in Central City for a couple of reasons" he said. She frowned, but didn't said anything.
"I wanted to tell you the truth, you know? I think you figured this out. The thing is, being someone who I care about, who The Flash cares about, it's too dangerous. You've been already kidnapped and put in danger more times than I like to remember. Yeah, I know you are a cop –an amazing cop, I must say. But here we are dealing with metahumans. There are a lot of them that are stronger than me. I'm terrified of the idea they could hurt you to get me, it already happened! They may kill you. They may have me to choose between saving you or saving the city. I've lost too much in my life, Patty, I don't want to lose you, too. If you are not here maybe you could be safe" he told her, putting love, fear and honesty in each word, his eyes a little misty. Patty slowly nodded.
"Ok, yeah.. I can see and understand your point" she admitted.
"But?"
"But I'm not sure if me being in another city will make me safer, as your girlfriend. With you, I mean The Flash. What if they follow us? Or you? Or.. well, I don't really know" she said calmly.
"Yeah, you're right. That's why I'll ask Cisco to build something we can use to have a fast and safe communication and that will tell me you're ok" he replied.
"Ok. I'll accept that, but only if the whole 'I'm-fine' thing will be mutual. Knowing that The Flash was hurt or in danger was stressful even before I knew that he's my boyfriend!" she said making him chuckle. She really had a point, too.
"Deal" he murmured placing a peck on her smiling lips.
"What's the other reason?" Patty asked then shifting, so she was now straddling him. He swallowed and closed his eyes for a moment, needing some seconds to focus, due to the change of position and their not very dressed bodies.
"the other reason is that I don't want you to sacrifice anything because of me. Studying to become a CSI was your dream, you told me so. I will never stand between your dream and you. I don't want to make you choose between it and me" he said slowly.
"what? You didn't ask me for anything, Barry. That was my choice. I really meant that, it wasn't a bribe or something like that" she protested, but Barry shook his head.
"I know, Patty. But I meant what I said too, I don't want you to have regrets. You should live your dream. You're gonna be an amazing CSI, I'm sure of it. Who knows? Maybe you can also find out that you don't like it, and then you can come back, but at least you tried it."
"What if my regret will be leaving you?" she said, almost crying. He cupped her face with his hands.
"Leaving me, Patty? Why?" he said with a small smile. "I love you too much to let you do so. We can try a sort of long distance relationship. And do you know what's the best part of it? I could run to Midway City in a handful of minutes. We could see each other practically every day" he said. Patty's eyed widened and she felt hope rise inside her, love warming her heart.
"You can?" she asked.
"Yes. I can and I want to. So, what do you think? You'll get me, your dream and your safety. How do you feel about it?" he asked, smiling. Patty smirked at him, and her hands, which were on his chest, started to travel south giving him trouble to catch his breath for a few seconds. With a hand on its destination, Patty leaned forward, pressing her body further against Barry's and earning a soft groan from him.
"what do you think about this as a way to say you that I'll accept your offer?" she whispered in his ear before taking his ear lobe with her teeth. But then she squeaked and found herself pinned at the mattress, Barry was above her.
"I think I should make you more offers like that!" he answered, and her fit of giggles was silenced by his mouth.
There were no more secrets between them, only a lot of fear, their desire to be together and their love, so new yet so strong. Surely they couldn't call their relationship a normal one, but that wasn't a problem for them. They knew that together they could find a way to live it fully and happily. And while Patty threw away the shirt and pressed her soft curves further against his body, both of them had the certainty that: everything between them was going to be fine and their story was going to work really, really well.