She wasn't sure when precisely it started but it was now a habit. Every Friday after talking to her mom on the phone she would sit down and write to him. She never sent the letters they just filled the pages of her black notebook. She had been on the road for almost four months. It began after buying her third copy of the Subsect back at the first of June, litters started to from in her mind, then made eventually made it on to paper. It was just every now and then, however now she wrote letters to him every week, she made note during the week on what to included. She told him about good diners she visited, speeches, books, music, and anything she thought was Jess worthy.
In her first letters she held stuff back making light chat. Then she dissected their teenage relationship, which lead her to apologizing and questions she had on it. Even though she never sent him any of the letters she continued writing him. She had come to a conclusion that she couldn't even bring herself to write down about her feelings towards him. She did however in her writing hint at her feelings. She never stated them, if anyone ever seen the letters she could say that they were reading too much in to them and jumping to conclusions. She had briefly thought of giving Jess a code name but writing this stuff using any other name felt wrong.
All she knew was that she had a lot of unresolved feelings for him. That she turned down Logan's wedding perposal because deep down she knew Logan wasn't and could never replace Jess in her life. To her it was and will always be Jess. But it was too late she hurt him and lost her shot and her happy ever after. She had happy moments with other guys but they never held a candle to Jess. Shortly after she made this realization this harsh truth she started writing him but could never get herself to send the letters. She was scared that he would not want to hear from her, after last time she couldn't blame him.
This Friday she wrote about her Mothers up coming wedding to the man that was a kind of father and life partner of her mother's since she was a kid. Luke and her mother were fated to be together. This letter was not as long as some of the others; some were pages. Tonight's was a health one page. 'I can't wait till next Thursday to be back in Stars Hollow, Jess. I know that you will never say it but I could tell that when you were last there you liked it too you weren't just there to see me and Luke or your mom but you missed it. More then I look for were to going home I am looking forward to seeing you and apologizing for what I did. I will likely always carry the guilt for what I did but at least you will know I'm sorry.' Rory ended the letter looked it over and thought it sounded rough and unpolished. Writing to Jess was in many ways her diary entries. Tonight's entry wasn't as gushy as her past letters were; she was nervous about this impending in counter and couldn't even put down on paper what she was hoping for. She knew this time she was ready for Jess, but would he want her.
Rory picked up the phone saw that it was 9:00pm knowing that the same thing would happen that happened every day for the last two weeks, it was out of her control she would call him.
In another city far away Jess just got off the phone with Luke. Luke was the only family member Jess regularly talked to. Jess' Dad would call once every two weeks but never on a standard day or time, for the most part they played phone tag. As for Liz well she's Liz and Jess was Jess and she talked to Jess but Jess hardly talked back. There was too much history there.
"So what were you saying about being there Thursday night?" Matt one of Jess' editor/roommate/best friend asked.
"Luke's getting married next Friday remember, you and Chris said you'd be there." Jess said leaned into the fridge to retrieve two beers. "You guys said you'd be there like six months ago. I think it's kind of late to cancel now." Jess handed Matt a cold beer.
"I know that and we got him a gift. Why are you going on Thursday? I mean stag was last weekend and you say you hate the place. And you are really been in the zone writing wise lately why break the habit?"
"I got some things to take care of before the wedding." Jess said downing the beer in his hands and going after another.
"Jeez man don't drink your troubles." Matt said in a joking tone but gave Jess a worried look. Matt had see Jess drunk too often to not know why he was drinking at the moment. Rory was on Jess' mind, again. Only when Jess is really drunk did he talk about her which often, far too often for either man to be confurible, lead to Jess crying on the floor about her. Jess could and did often bring women home. Jess had a talent after a few moments of conversation with any woman that caught his eye at the bar would be perswayed to spend the night with him. But they all were one night stands or never made it to the three month mark. Matt felt bad for all the women but felt worse for Jess. His friend was trying to move on but never could for get the only woman he was in love with. Likely the first person Jess had ever loved and only woman he would ever be in love with was Rory.
Just then like clock work Jess' cell rang. He had the Photograph by Nickleback set for this number. Matt scoffed at the song and went to the other room knowing that Jess would want to answer this alone.
"Hey." Jess side in to the phone. He use to answer with more question in his voice the first five days of this then he moved on to anger for about a three day period, and for the past bit it was 'hey' just 'hey' no real emotion. After a few moments there was no dial tone she hadn't hung up. He thought he knew it was her. Tonight he would find out if Rory was his mystery caller. He was not sure which way his heart would break more, if it was her or if he found it wasn't.
"So…" He said trying to think of something he could say that would trigger Rory to talk. "I-I wanna tell you that I wrote a third book, it will be out three weeks after the wedding I think… will it should be if Matt and Chris do there jobs in a will managed time."
A signal laugh escaped her lips "This is Jess talking about time management." Shit she had spoken too late now she thought, "I would laugh but I'm too proud of the thought of you writing another amazing book. I own like seven copies of your other two. I want your notes in the margins of them though." She gushed. Shit she thought again that was dumb why did she tell him that.
"I knew it was you, Rory." Jess sounded happy to know it was her. Then his tone changed "why?" he asked. And Rory didn't know what this why question related to, the phone call the kiss and run, or the turn down of Logan, surly Luke told him, or was it why do you want my side notes, why do you own seven copies of my books. She didn't know what to say. So she hung up.
Jess lessoned to the dial tone guessing Rory wasn't ready to confess her reasoning for phone stocking. Well fine. It hurt that she was hanging up on him on a daily bases, but he never thought it would feel so good, better than good that she was calling him. Rory, his Rory was calling him.
He had been reading and printing and rereading every article she posted on the online journal she wrote for. Rory was the inspiration for all his books.
Jess' roommates Chris and Matt walked back into the kitchen Matt looked at Jess "Oh my God, when did you learn to smile. I need a camera!" with that Matt ran off to his room half falling over himself.
"Jessie who are you taking to this wedding?" Chris asked.
"What?"
"You know to your uncle's wedding, who are you taking? I need to know, weddings scream commitment. I'd go stag but what if I hook up with one of the locals and then am forced to wed her." Chris made a face of discus. Chris had never been outside of a city, that Jess knew of. Chris was under the impression that small towns were something like being in the 1800's.
"Then the girl has my sympathies" Jess replied. He didn't know if he was taking a date. Maybe that's why Rory was calling, to tell him she was taking a date. Well he would have to be sure his 17-year-old self would have taken a date and seen what Rory would do. But he was now 25 he knew he wanted Rory and didn't want to play games to get her. Last time hurt too much. To be honest every time he lost her it hurt, and he was never confortable with himself until he was back with her. If he had a chance this time he could not loose her again.
Jess walked out of the kitchen and to his bedroom. Called her number back.
"Hi?" Rory's voice sounded sleepy and confused.
"Hi." Jess repeated.
After a few minutes of silence Rory said "Hi?" more questioning and worry in her voice. Jess realized that he had called her this time he was the one meant to have a purpose.
"Are you taking a date to the wedding?" he said bluntly.
"Nope." Rory said. "Are you?" Her voice sounded worried, which made Jess smile.
"Course not" Jess answered like it was ridiculess to even consider.
"I think we should talk when we get there so it's not uncomfortable." Rory said in rush, without over thinking, she couldn't think about this or she would never speak, due to her nervousness.
"When do you get there?" Jess asked.
"I land in Hartford on Wednesday night."
"I'll meet you at the airport."
"You don't have to, I was planning on spending the night in a hotel, the plan comes in at 9:30pm... It would be late." Rory rambled, which made Jess smile.
"I'll see you at 9:30 on Wednesday." Jess told her.
"If your sure."
"I am."
"Kay thanks."
"No problem."
When Rory Hung up the phone she danced around the motel room like a teen girl asked out on her first date.
