Letter to Jude

Dear Jude,

Where to start? Well, first I hope you are getting the help you need. I'm sure you are. If I could have fixed everything for you, I would have. That way we wouldn't be apart. I can't even start explaining how much I miss and love you. You are my reason for being here. I wish I could come see you just for a few minutes, but I promise you I will abide by your wishes and wait until you come home. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess it's true because after all the time we've spent a part over the years, I'm more in love with you now than ever.

I'm sitting in my office right now because going home is the last thing I want to do. It's too lonely there. I miss the nights you and I would curl up on the couch. Sometimes we'd watch TV but some nights we'd just sit in silence with the stereo in the background. It was easy just being with you. I wish it had always been that way. I know we've broken each other's hearts before, but I truly believe that is far behind us. I know we will really make it this time. We've grown up over the years. And I know you are it for me.

Do you remember the week before your eighteenth? That day when I finally gave in was the happiest I'd ever been. We made so many plans that day at the farm house. When you get home we should spend a long weekend up there. We could stay in bed all day and make love all night. I never told you, but I bought it off your dad after you left for London. I needed to hold on to part of you.

So many people have been hurt because of us over the years; Sadie, Jamie, Katie, even Spied. Still to this day I wish I had just swept you off your feet when you were sixteen. We could have run away together and nothing would have pulled us apart. It would have been you and me against the world, but that wasn't our life. We spent too much time fighting our feelings and each other.

When I was engaged to Katie, nothing ever seemed right. My heart still ached for you everyday. I think you've been in my heart since that first day at G Major. But what twenty-two year old is going to admit to falling for a fifteen year old. You were so fierce. I loved working with you because you reminded me what was good in music. So many people were in the business for the fame, but not you. You wanted in for the music.

I know you said you had lost your music, but I believe you will get it back. You have to have faith in yourself. Jude, you have more talent than anyone out there. I know loosing your mom made you feel like you lost part of yourself. It's still there you just have dig deep to find it. I will do anything in my power to help you. I just want you to be happy and I know music has always made you happy.

The past two weeks have definitely been a trial. I've found that working on Instant Star is not for me when you are not around. Darius agreed, so I am only working with signed artists. It took my disappearing to the farm house for almost a week for us to realize where I belong. There's way too much drama around the competition. I will explain it all to you when you get home.

I can't wait for you to get home and we can start our future. I told you one time I wanted to travel the world with you. I promise we will finally go to all those places we always talked about. Remember all those post cards from Thailand? I want to revisit all those places with you. I can see us wrapped in each other on the beach as the sun is setting. Maybe we could go to Rome. We could visit your mom's grave, but only if you feel up to it. If there is anywhere you want to go, just tell me and I will take you there. I have plenty of vacation days saved up.

I am counting the days until you are back in my arms. I hate not waking up to you every morning. Your skin so warm against mine; it makes me want to call in sick everyday and stay right there with you. I love the sounds you make in the morning just as you're waking up and stretching. I think I could watch you for hours. Your beauty brightens my day.

Do you remember our first night together at the rehearsal space? I so should have taken you to my place, but in that moment I wanted you so badly. I still ache for you that way. I don't think that will ever go away; at least I hope it won't.

I would get you up to date with everyone else, but I have been terribly self- centered lately. I haven't spoken to any of the guys to know how things are going with them. I did get a message from Spied about Kyle's bachelor party. It's the night before you come home. So I might go. I'll see if Kwest is going. I know I need to be more social. I see what I can do about that.

I hope everyone is treating you well there. I've heard horror stories about celebrities in rehab. You're so likable that I doubt you are having any problems. I hope your cast isn't getting in your way to bad either.

I was going to keep this as a surprise, but I just have to tell you. Darius found a guy who can rebuild your Mustang. He had it towed to his shop the other day. It will take a while, but she'll be back up and running.

So, now that I have been scattered all over the place, I should let you get back to what you need to be doing. I hope you are still listening to my song. It came from deep down in my heart. I love you deeply and can't wait to see you.

Love Always,

Tommy

If I get a good enough response, I will write Jude's response.