[Kingsley Shacklebolt] didn't think [Gilderoy Lockhart] would ever [learn to drive a car]
Disclaimer: I own not Potter.
A/N: For the "They would never" Challenge by RemusLovesRent Check it out.
Kinsley was walking down by the black lake on the early morning. It was a fine Saturday, and he was embracing the calmness of everyone sleeping in, except for him. He was determined to be awake early every day for the rest of his Hogwarts career, two years left and he was out. The thought scared him a little bit, but not as much as Gilderoy Lockhart, a fourth year, on a broomstick did.
Gilderoy was flying around, uncontrollably, like he always did, and Kingsley watched him with a smirk on his face, a chuckle roaring in his chest. He crossed his arms and debated what he should do about this situation. He could help Gilderoy, or he could just watch him fail miserably and laugh like the schadenfreude he secretly was. However, Kingsley, being the great and charming gentleman he was, decided to go and help Gilderoy. So he strutted over there with his Kingsley swagger and shouted up to Gilderoy:
"Oi! You bovine sloth! Need some help?" Kingsley asked him.
"Who? Me?" Gilderoy asked, as if there was anyone else around at this time of day. "You're asking if I need help! I'm the smarted boy in school! Shoo away, you Royal Fetters! I can handle- Oomph."
Kingsley busted into thunderous laughter as Gilderoy slid to the ground after flying into a tree. His broomstick fell besides him and Kingsley smirked at him, dubious about this boys future.
"You're never going to succeed in life, Gilderoy. If you can't fly a broom, you can't do well on a potions test, that means you'll never be able to learn to drive a car." Kingsley taunted.
"How dare you!" Gilderoy exclaimed, jumping up and whipping out his wand at Kingsley. "You wicked, wicked person, saying something like that to me! Go to-"
"Gilderoy, shove that wand up your smelly arse. I'm trying to help you, just listen to me. Work on your stance. Make sure you've mounted the broom properly, and then you'll fly better and be able to be a seeker and all your dreams will come true, okay?"
Gilderoy nodded.
"Now, go have some fun. I'm going to get breakfast." Kingsley said before swaggering away from Gilderoy to the castle and to the great hall. He shook his head, thinking about the sillyness that was Gilderoy Lockhart. Kingsley was sure the boy wasn't even a real person.
His views never changed; and so, ten years later, Kingsley is still certain that Gilderoy Lockhart is not a real person. He watches the scene as Gilderoy honks his horn, looking infuriated about the person in front of him, and he starts to drive backwards, into a wall. Kinglsey's jaw drops and when Gilderoy gets out, kicks the tires of his car, and starts exclaiming wizard swears, a thunderous laugh erupts from Kingsley's chest and he shakes his head.
Kingsley Shaklebolt knew that Gilderoy Lockhart would never learn to drive a car, and that he would be a failure at life.
