Just challenging myself into writing something serious for a change. I can't live on adventure and comedy forever, even though they're my specialty. Seeing how this is my first tragedy ever, I may have gone overboard. This story contains alcohol, depression, self-inflecting pain. I know, I'm a monster. I'm terribly sorry in advance.

Guys, I may or may not have cried while writing this at 3 AM. You can't prove anything.

Please enjoy, or don't. Unless you're into pain and misery, which is cool, I mean not!

...I'm gonna shut up now.


I woke up on the large hollow bed, immediately embraced by the icy cold air. I force opened my eyes to meet with an empty spot next to me. Once again, you're not there. Just once, I wish to wake up meeting up with your face as you watch me asleep, just like you used to. But I know for a fact that it would never happen, nothing is same anymore.

With a disappointing sigh, I get from the bed. By the atmosphere of the room, one could tell it's either late night or early morning if only that was true. I look over the dirty sheets of the window, they'd been closed ever since. I honestly don't care if it was dark or bright, it's just a stupid useless room.

I stand up and move my tired legs towards the shelf, there's at least one useful thing that is left in this miserable cell. I grab the bottle of wine by the neck and the glass next to it. The glass is still sticky from my last drinking session, but not too dirty. I shake the bottle just to be sure of the amount of liquid inside it, there seems enough I guess. My drinking sessions have been popping on my daily schedule a lot recently, that I sometimes forget that I'm holding an empty bottle.

Walking back the bed, I sit my numb body down. Even though my side of the sheet is stained with various types of liquids, I never dared to lay a finger on your side, how could I ever. With another sigh, I pop the head and slowly pour some of the red poison into the glass. Starting with a small sip, I let the liquid wash my dry throat and once again invade my system. I take another sip and this time, I drink it all. The used to be fruity flavor was now replaced with a repetitive simple fluid. Just as long as it gets the job done, I wouldn't complain.

I pour another wave of crimson venom in the glass and drink it all in one sip. The effects finally seemed to have kicked in, they'd been doing that quicker these past days. Sometimes, a half of glass was enough to send me on a roller coaster of illusion. Drinking my problems away is not the worst thing I've done, it's not even close. But it sure is the most cowardly move I've ever pulled.

At this point, I throw the glass away. It's been doing nothing but waste time and effort. Drinking it straight from the bottle is easier and much more radical, is how you'd put it. With one gulp, I end up drinking almost half of the bottle, but it's still not enough. I don't understand. Usually, a glass or two is more than enough to knock me out cold, so why isn't it working now.

Gritting my teeth desperately, I throw the bottle, crashing it against the wall from sheer frustration. For some reason, the process seemed unbelievably slow. I could see the movement of the bottle as it hit the wall, shattering it into bits of pieces. The shards of the glass flew all around the room, all from different shapes and sizes. A few small pieces even managed to cut through my skin, but I didn't even flinch. The pain in my heart was far greater than any other physical pain.

For some reason, my body starts cringing all of the sudden. I could feel as it was melting down towards the floor. I was numb, yet my body was moving on its own. As reached the dirty floor, A small sting against my palm forces my nerve system back on its track. I take a look at my hand and notice a small fragment from the bottle, stuck in my skin, small drips of blood was coming out of the hole. I didn't really care, I'll patch it later on.

I look over my other hand and find it resting on another piece of glass, but this one was larger than the one before. Grabbing it carefully, it's big enough to fit around my palm. Turning it around, I could barely see my reflection. But it was visually enough to let me know that I was a mess. With a sigh, I try to focus on other things, like when was the last time I took a shower? Taking a curious sniff, I could tell it's been at least a week. For some reason, that thought made me chuckle a bit. It was the first time I've chuckled in a long time, I was really surprised.

I look down and see that I'm still holding the sharp glass. Somehow it brought me a little comfort in a very long time. Maybe, just maybe, my new friend could do more than just a few chuckles. Placing it closer to face, I think about it again and nod. I can be happy again.

"Don't do this."

That voice, that familiar sound that always brought joy to my heart, it told me to stop. But I don't want to stop, I want to be happy.

"Don't do it Spectra."

Why is he still here? He's supposed to respect my privacy and decisions. I try to ignore him, I've done it before and I can shut him away again. The razor edge is inches away from sending me to a happy place, so why can't I do it.

Why can't I do it?!

Hot burning tears began streaming down from my unnatural purple eyes. The once silent room was now filled with sobs and whimpers. My heart is hurting once again, why does this keep happening to me! I once was the happiest person in existence, and in a blink of an eye, my world was shattered into bits.

Suddenly, I feel a warm touch crawling on my bare arms. I could feel the hot breaths against my face. A comforting hum was being heard by my ears. I could only half open my moist eyes, trying to see the person who took pity on my disgusting collapsed body.

And there you were.

Giving me that warm, reassuring smile you always gave me. Looking me straight in the eyes with those terrifying yet majestic mismatched eyes. And your face, a face not even a mother could look at. The blood veins that visually stretched themselves against your skin, creating a map like abomination for a face. Your right eye that saw better days before being brutally torn apart with no mercy. In the general eye, you'd be considered nothing but a monster.

But not in my eyes.

You're the most wonderful and kind person I've ever met. Since the moment I met you, you've been doing nothing but make me happy. You kept protecting me no matter what. Even at the verge of death, you willingly gave me your heart so I could live again. I never asked you to do any of this, but you kept doing it, even when I told you to stop. You always had my best intentions, you care about me more than you cared about yourself.

"Why?" The word was ripped out from my throat and was let out as a raspy whisper.

You still keep your smile, you never wipe it out when you're talking to me. "Because you're my everything. You're the cause of my existence. Without you, I have nothing to live for." You answer me in a warm comforting tone. "I love you."

Another waterfall of salty tears wet my face, I want to be with you too. All I want to do is hug you and embrace you for the rest of my life. But I'm too weak to move, so you move closer and hug me instead. The feeling of being in your arms once again is like laying on a soft cloud from the havens.

"I don't want you to leave," I beg you between my sobs. It even hurts letting the words out.

"It's okay, I won't leave you. I'll be with you forever." I can feel your soft hand brushing my hair.

Throughout our relationship, we never fought. The closest thing we had to a disagreement was when came up with different suggestions for our anniversary. It was a stupid and yet a charming moment. We ended up laughing so hard that night. It was one of the best moments of life.

My life...

My life was like a paradise.

"I don't believe you. I want you to promise me and give me your word."

Despite my interest, you break the hug and gently lay me on the board of the bed. You look me in the eyes once again before speaking, "Lay off the drinks Spectra, or you'll end up getting sick."

"Don't change the subject, promise me that you won't leave me." You won't get away this time. I won't let you!

"And open the window once in awhile. The room needs some fresh as well as the light of the sun."

"Promise me." You're doing it again you bastard!

"Go downstairs, the others are worried sick."

"Promise me!" I finally wail with a cry of pain, fading this tiny light into the abyss.

Suddenly a series of knocks hammered against my mind. I looked towards the door and found the source of the knocks. I quickly stood up on my feet and walked towards it. But before I opened it, I made sure I wiped my face clean from the sweat and tears. There was a lot of it that I couldn't get it all. I just hope the room is dark enough to shadow my pitiful face. I took a few deep breaths before finally opening the door, and I find Jane standing in front of me.

"Hey, Jane," I mutter audibly, forcing a smile on my lips.

"Spectra are you okay? I heard a banging noise and came as quickly as I could." Jane said, tone filled with worry.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I reply to her, keeping the door half opened. "I just had an accident with the wine bottle, I'll be fine."

Her emerald suddenly widened. "Are you sure? Do you want me to come in and help?"

"Jane it's okay, you worry too much," I assure her with a chuckle. "And besides, Miles is doing a great job helping me out."

Jane flinches a bit. "M-miles?" She gulping nervously for reasons I can't fathom.

"Yeah, who else. He's always with me, is he not?"

"Spectra I think-"

"It's alright, Jane." Why am I still stretching this conversation? I should just shut the door.

"Spectra, you're my friend. I care about you, we all care about you." Her eyes start getting misty.

"And I appreciate it."

"If you ever need anything, we're all more than willing to help." She persuades. A few tears fall from her eyes.

"It's fine, everything's fine." I give her one last smile before fully closing the door.

Things are anything but fine. My best friend was willing to help me and I shut her off coldly, pathetic.

Leaning against the door for support, I drop on the floor once again. With my head pressed against the large board of wood, I could hear sobs yet again against my ears. But those weren't my cries, they were Jane's.

I just made my best friend cry for nothing.

With tears of my own, I began to quietly sink in my own sobs. I look around the empty dark room one last time, and just as I expected.

Once again, you're nowhere to be found.