Rorschach vs Justin Bieber

*Newspaper*

Singer Justin Bieber has gone platinum within three weeks after his new hit single "Ice cream sundae"

Rorschach slowly placed the paper on the table, and stared blankly into space.

Has the world really come to this? Have we sunk so low into the depths of insanity that we must turn to little twerps like this ..."Bieber" child to bring us out of the pit and into the unforgiving light of day? This child knows nothing about the pain and trauma of being persecuted, for being...Ginger.

Then he knew what he had to do.

I must find this ..."Bieber" and destroy him...right down to his gay hair flick. In doing this, I will rid the world of this teenage menace once and for all.

Rorschach set down his cold, congealed tin of baked beans, and clutched his magnum tightly in his gloved hand.

He stood up, and passed into a dark, cold alley full of trash cans and empty beer bottles.

Now to set my trap. He had bought an ice cream sundae from Thorntons, which he tied to a long fishing rod, and placed in the entrance to the alley.

After waiting for several hours, he felt a tug on the line, and with one swift movement, he reeled in his catch.

He could only watch in shock as a red and black blur flew towards him, arms flailing, shouting joyfully:

"ICE CREAM!"

There was a loud crash, as the red and black...thing collided with Rorschach, and rolled back into a wall.

Rorschach's head was spinning, and as he turned to see his attacker, he saw him about to take a lick of his double chocolate sundae.

"Deadpool." he grumbled, pushing him away. "Get your own sundae." He pulled it away, and set it back in the entrance to the alley.

"Awww... C'mon!" moaned Deadpool, staring mournfully at the ice cream. "Double chocolate's my favorite.

But as they were arguing, Rorschach heard the familiar whining tone of the ..."Bieber" child, and shoved the now crying Deadpool into a trash can, face first.

"Hey, did you see my gig! I was sooo cool. I- wait a sec, I'll have to call you back, I just found some ice cream! Later Ludacris!"

There was a sudden, alarmingly strong tug on the line, and Rorschach had to pull with all his might to reel in the catch of the day.

Just then, Deadpool emerged from the trash, covered in slime and discarded takeaways, still sobbing, and mourning the loss of his ice cream.

The bieber child sat up warily, rubbing his head. (and adjusting his fringe)

"Hey! Real superheroes, Awesome." He was about to get up, when Rorschach pulled out his trusty magnum, and pointed it at the demon spawn's head.

"Prepare to die, Bieber child."

Justin Bieber looked shocked, as did Deadpool, who had his foot stuck in an empty can of baked beans.

A loud crack echoed through the alley as blood splattered Rorschach's mask. He wiped the blood away, and adjusted his hat.

"That's for not knowing the pain of being ginger." He grumbled.

"Oh. My. God." shrieked Deadpool.

Rorschach looked at him in disgust.

"You got blood in the sundae!" Wept deadpool, falling to his knees in despair.

Rorschach picked up the blood soaked ice cream, and as he walked slowly down the deserted streets, an eight year old girl shrieked and melted away...