Author's note: Okay, so you may know my other FanFic (In Sickness and in Health). Well I got tired of that story, so long after Warren;s death after the actual programme. So I thought I'd start another too, with a bit more Kadam romance (; THIS IS SET JUST AFTER WARREN'S DEATH.

KIRSTY'S P.O.V.

Impatient tears spilled down my cheeks as I threw myself onto the crudely made bed in the ED on-call room, bashing my head repeatedly against the pillow in a feeble attempt to banish the confusing chain of thoughts from my mind. It was no use. I gave in, sank my head into the cushion, covered my tear-stained face with my hands and allowed every contradicting thought to overwhelm me again.

I'm free. I thought. My husband is dead. I'm a widow. I should be distraught… But no more abuse, no more pain, no more fear. I can physically heal, fix things with Nita and finally give her the happy life i deserves. If only she could see it that way. She misses her dad, I understand that, but that's because she doesn't know the monster he really was. We're better off without him, we can start afresh, find someone who understands the concept of care, love and compassion. It's only been a day since he died! I should be missing my husband, my one and only, my love at first sight, but all I feel is lust for –

"Kirsty?" My eyes snapped open. Adam. Of course, right on cue. I sat bolt upright, allowing a few stray brunette curls to hide my face as i attempted to casually wipe my glistening cheeks free of the trails the tears had left behind. "Isn't it a bit early to back at work? ...I'm sorry, did I startle you?" Adam asked, awkwardly hovering in the doorway.

I shook my head vigorously, unable to speak through silent sobs, staring at the floor so as not to let Adam see the pain on my face. It didn't work, he noticed. It's hard to hide the fact that you've been crying when the tears continue to flow. He was by my side in a second. "Oh, Kirsty…"

As his right arm wrapped around my shoulders, his other hand found my chin, attempting to pull my gaze to meet his. "Look at me." He yearned. I refused. Being in his arms was hard enough. "Please."

I bit my lip and braced myself as I slowly allowed my eyes to travel upwards. While my eyes wondered, I noticed he wasn't in his green scrubs; he was wearing his usual worn out jeans and tight brown T-shirt that he'd worn on the night I had turned up at his door after a beating from my husband. The flashback was vivid: my breathlessness from sprinting all the way from my prison to Adam's apartment, the relief in my sigh as he drew open the door, the look of shock and horror on his face as the blood on my head caught his attention.

"Kirsty… please?" Back to reality and I finally complied, gazing into his eyes. Our eyes locked for what seemed like minutes before I broke the tension.

"Sorry, I-"

"Don't apologize, Kirsty, you always apologize. You've got nothing to be sorry for." His voice was deep and sympathetic. His hand travelled to the side of my face and his thumb caressed my cheek as I bit my lip and submitted. But without apologizing, I didn't know what to say.

"Did you want the room?" I asked, preparing myself to face getting back to work.

"I did but… You going to tell me what these tears are for?" He asked, tenderly wiping them away.

"I – I don't know … everything is just… too much. I can't handle it-" I was talking between sobs, it must have sounded pathetic.

"Hey, shush…" He pulled me closer and began to play softly with my hair as I buried my head in his chest and curled arms around him tightly, unwilling to let go. I couldn't stand the innocent helplessness in his eyes. "Listen to me, you'll get through this, you always do."

"I don't think I can, Adam." His hand, gently rubbing my shoulder, stiffened slightly. "Nita's staying with her friend, it's like she can't stand to look at me… Without Nita or Warren the house seems so quiet… so cold… I feel so alone." I began to sob again, almost unknowingly clenching a handful of Adam's shirt with frustration. He pulled me off of him but didn't let go of my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes as if this was a major breakthrough.

"You don't have to do this alone."

"My friends will support me all the way. I know Adam. That's a bit cliché."

"That's not what I was going to say." I looked up at him, confused, but had a faint feeling of where this was going to go. He was suddenly blushing as I willed him to explain. "I mean… if you don't want to be on your own… you could come and stay… with me?"

I contemplated his offer for a moment. I wanted to say yes. Oh Lord, I wanted to say yes! But what if this complicated things further? I had feelings for him, strong feelings, but I didn't know if he felt the same way. And a single day after my husband's death, was it wrong to be so attracted to another man? Of course, it was his personality I was attracted to, the way he held me close, the way he acted as if he didn't matter; as if me and my needs were all that mattered, the way he cared. The muscles beneath the shirt were just a bonus. But did he feel it too?

"Oh, Adam… I couldn't… it's too much to ask." I half smiled a sorry smile.

"Kirsty, I would be honoured…" He stopped his sentence and thought carefully about what he meant to say. "-to help in any way I can."

My tears had stopped but I was welling up inside. I suddenly ached to say three words, three simple words, that could change my life. But decided against it, in fear that it was the heat of the moment that drove the crave.

*If you are reading this, THANK YOU! (: Please review!*