The Awesome Vs. The Maximum Suckage
Chap. 1
Once, there existed a brave group of noble warriors. These men and women, coming from various states far away, and some from countries even further away, united under a common banner a not so long time ago. Their purpose was simple- to rid their world of the vast amounts of vile, evil, and unbelievably stupid things. How did they do it? It was simple. There was no quest for Mt. Doom. There was no training for use of the Force. No, instead of those far more epic ways to spend their time, they collected powerful weapons- guns, magic guns, zappers, mighty swords of foam, more guns, various catch phrases, and the incredible power of the Internet. And when all these things were collected, when all the preparations had been made, these warriors set out, to complete their mighty quest in the best way they knew how.
They made videos where they reviewed unbelievably stupid things from TV, comic books, film, anime, and video games, then posted them on the Internet.
...Wait a minute... Is the right story?
Anyway, despite their lack of epicness, these not quite as brave as imagined warriors earned the love of the people, bringing each of them fame and glory (well, mainly fame...a little). But none of them could have predicted, that one day, they would be given the chance to battle against the evilest, stupidest thing that any of them could have imagined.
This is that story.
Chap. 1
"Lord Vyce."
The warlord stirred in his chair, then glanced over at the figure before him.
"Mechakara." Vyce whispered, his metallic voice slithering the words along. "Your upgrades are complete?"
"Yes. And I must say I rather enjoy them." Mechakara said, as he flexed his new, stronger body. Vyce listened to the sounds of the new, stronger joints clicks under the facade of skin that covered them. "Dr. Linksano does amazing work. I especially liked the Kryptonite laser. I can only imagine the horror that Linkara will feel, when he sees the new, improved me ready to destroy him."
"That will have to wait." Vyce replied, raising his armored body from his chair. "For now, your new body will be put to use for me."
"What? No! Destroying that bag of flesh must take priority over all!"
"Have you forgotten that it was I who brought you back online?" Vyce snarled. "Have you forgotten that you live on this ship only because I will? And have you forgotten that even as you are now, I can destroy you with but a thought?"
"I...I apologize, Lord Vyce." Mechakara replied. "But Linkara..."
"Will still remain. But in scanning his world, my scouts have discovered something that will aid in our quest to destroy him."
"What is it?" Mechkara asked, as Vice moved to a viewscreen.
"Something that has been produced by one of the world's inhabitants. Something so horrible, so mindless, and with such little care, that it has actually ripped a hole in the fabric of space and time into a new universe."
"What? Preposterous." Mechakara sneered. "Nothing could be so terrible."
"Behold." Vyce said, as he flipped on the viewscreen. Mechakra looked on, only to back away in the greatest horror of his robot life, screaming, "SHUT IT OFF! PLEASE! SYSTEMSSSS CRRRRASSSHHINGGGG..."
"You see know what I mean." Vyce said, as he flipped off the screen. "Through this new gateway, we shall take this world, acquiesce its power, and use it in our quest to destroy Linkara, and all those who stand with him."
"Yessss... I see now." Mechakara wheezed, as he slowly came back online. "Will there be flesh bags for me?"
"As many as we need to destroy to dominate." Vyce answered.
"Then I will enjoy this." Mechakara said. "When do we travel there?"
"Within the hour." Vyce said. "But first, we must take items of power from Linkara's world. They will be our final weapons to use in this new world."
"What is it?"
"That is for me to know. Prepare the ship for trans-dimensional drive!"
"LINKARA. YOU SHOULD COME SEE THIS."
"What is it Poyo?" Linkara asked as he looked at his robot's viewscreen.
"THERE'S A TREMOUNDOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY ENTERING THIS DIMENSION. SCANNERS INDICATE THAT IT COULD BE LORD VYCE."
"So... he's finally made his move." Linkara said, eyes narrowing. "Then it's time for me to end this. Where's the magic gun?"
"BY THE COUCH, WITH THE DRAGON DAGGER... LINKARA WAIT. THE ENERGY IS GROWING EXPOENTIALLY. THE SCANNERS ARE GOING TO OVERLOAD."
"Quick shut it down!" Linkara yelled, grabbing his gun and the Dagger just in case.
"I'M TRYING. THE SYSTEM IS..."
But that was as far as the robot got. A burst of light shot out of the screen, dashed across the room, and struck Linkara. He froze in place for a moment, then suddenly vanished into the light, as it returned into the computer, which then went dead. Poyo worked the controls, trying everything he could process to regain control. But already, the light was beyond where he could retrieve it. But Linkara was not it's only passenger. Unbenowst to Poyo, the light had already made other stops, at other computers.
One was in Chicago.
One was in Los Angeles.
Another was in Arizona.
Two more lay in Texas.
Others came from France and England.
And now, it zipped along towards its final destination...
