THE ADVENTURES OF HAGRID AND THE DEATH-EATER-HUNTER-SQUAD

Part 1

It was not a dark and stormy night. In fact it was quite the opposite. It was midday at Hogwarts, and Hagrid was sat outside his hut.

'THIS SUN IS RIGHT ANNOYING' he boomed. A nearby first-year was knocked over by the sheer power of his voice. Hagrid was still frustrated over his recent purchase at the Leaky Cauldron. 'I finally get meself a nice portable radio off a dude at the bar and this happens!' The radio itself was enchanted to only play Ellie Goulding on repeat. 'This girl can't even sing! Proper music is like...ME!'

Suddenly, Hagrid's hut transformed into a giant crystal disco ball, and Hagrid jumped into the air, where he suspended himself, looking over the Hogwarts courtyard.

'YOU!' Hagrid commanded, pointing angrily at the nearest pupil. The student turned to look at Hagrid, and as he did, he was overcome by Hagrid's Mystical Magics. He instantly grew a beard. A massive beard. He looked like Hagrid but short. Hagrid screamed into the air. '' Hagrid started glowing, more vibrant as he screamed louder and louder.

Hogwarts was engulfed by Hagrid's brilliance. He shined brighter and brighter, until simply looking upon him would turn you permanently blind. Hogwarts students ran in fear, those unfortunate to be near him dropping to the floor, their inferior-to-Hagrid minds unable to comprehend such brilliance. Light refracted off the disco ball, sending beams of light everywhere. Professor McGonagall was struck in the chest by one, and she was instantly turned into a Hagrid clone.

'Oh no, I have been transformed into a Hagrid. How could this happen to me. She said in a completely monotone voice. Everything was blinded by Hagrid's light.

Hagrid woke up. 'That was a top dream,' he stated. This was a fact, as Hagrid had stated it, and Hagrid is law. But the dream had a deeper meaning to Hagrid than the fact that he was the greatest wizard ever to exist. He had seen his calling.

'THAT DREAM WAS OBVIOUSLY SYMBOLIC. I CAN TELL COS IVE HAD A FEW DREAMS IN ME TIME, AND I CAN JUST TELL' Hagrid declared. And he was right. 'IM GOING TO GATHER A GROUP OF WIZARDS AND HUNT DOWN ANYONE WHO RECKONS YOU-KNOW-WHO'S STILL ALIVE. COS HE AINT!' (Not actually sure how Hagrid figured that out from the dream, but obviously, he's much more intelligent than myself)

'RIGHT. MY ADVENTURE STARTS...NOW!' he boomed as he stomped the ground in defiance. Fang cowered in fear and legged it.

Hagrid marched from his hut into the castle, the ground trembling from his mighty, mighty steps. Hagrid was right once again. His adventure had started now. And an adventure it would be.