Cabin in the Woods – Management Doesn't Care

She was an innocent


Laura whimpered and put her hands on her swollen belly.

"Please God, please God" – she prayed, looking up – "Please, please... I swear, if you– If I get out of this, oh God, if I survive this, please, please, I swear I'll go to church every Sunday, I swear I'll baptize my kid, and they'll go to church with me! Just please, please..."

"Just shut the fuck up! Jesus fuck!" – Dean snapped from across the room from her – "God! God, great, you think fucking God is going to fucking save us? We're in a fucking horror movie, you stupid bitch! What the fuck is the matter with you?!"

"Be quiet Dean" – Mary Alice shot back as Laura looked down at the bloody floor – "What's the matter with you?"

"What's the– Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously? I just saw my brothers get fucking eaten by– What the hell were they, killer ants? The fuck even– And the only reason we're even up here in this shitty, God forsaken shit hole is because she got herself knocked up to trap Bryan!"

"I didn't–"

"Yes you did, don't play innocent, we're gonna die out here, it's okay to drop the act now" – Dean mocked.

"Shut up, Dean, it's not her fault!"

"Bryan wanted her to have a nice, peaceful weekend away from the city! How's that NOT her fault?!"

"It's Bryan's fault, then! And it's our fault that we came along! It's NOT Laura's fault!"

"Oh, great, defend her, why don't you. I knew you wanted to eat her up, nice time for confessions"

"God, be more of a cliché, Dean. I know you're a dumb frat boy, but really?"

"C'mon, even Bryan knew you were– Shit" – he hissed when something bumped into the door with the strength of a giant. Laura started crying quietly as she wrapped her arms around herself, and Mary Alice slid over to embrace her.

For a long, horrible moment, everything was quiet, the night was frozen in time, and they couldn't even breathe, and then all there was to it were Dean's screams as ants came through the door and rushed to attack him. Mary Alice put a hand over Laura's mouth as they quickly moved to the window, and with a burst of adrenaline, Mary Alice threw them through it.

Dean's voice filled the night as the girls ran as far away from the cabin as they possibly could. They pretended not to notice how Dean's screams started to get quieter and quieter, and not because of the distance.

"He's dead too" – Laura cried, panting – "Dean– Dean's dead!"

"I know" – Mary Alice said, looking around as they ran on the dirt road – "We have to keep going, c'mon–"

"What's the point? They're gonna get to us– They're going to eat us alive too"

"No, they're not. We're going to survive the night, everything's going to be alright, you'll see–"

"You don't have to lie, Mare, I'm not stupid"

"I didn't mean– Laura" – they remained in silence and stopped in the middle of the road. It was eerily quiet, windy and lonely.

"Maybe... Maybe we should head down to the lake" – Laura said softly – "Ants can't get us in the water, right?"

"Right, yeah. There was that boat there. Yeah, yeah, sure, let's go"

They ran down through the woods, all the while looking down for branches and movement. Finally, they reached the lake, and Mary Alice swiftly moved to get the boat ready.

"C'mon, c'mon, Laure, get in, get in" – she looked at the pregnant girl and grinned – "It's gonna be–" – she stopped and Laura frowned, then shivered.

Millions of ants started attacking Mary Alice. Laura felt like she had been deafened by her screeches, and though it pained her, she started to row away from the shore. The last she saw of Mary Alice before the ants covered her body, she was reaching out to her.

Laura rowed all the way to the middle of the lake, and finally she started to cry. She allowed the horrors of the night to weigh her down, she let the memories of her friends' deaths wash over her. Bryan's careful touches, John's gentleness, Dean's snorts, and Mary Alice's hugs, they were all gone now, eaten away to the bone by impossible man eating ants.

That her life had become something steadily out of the worst kind of horror movie was just–

She frowned as something caught her eye on her white shirt.

It was a fucking ant. She quickly grabbed it and threw it into the dark waters, but then there was another on her arm, and one running up her leg, and several on her back, her neck, and finally her mouth as she couldn't help but scream the last screams she ever would into the night.


Somewhere far beneath the cabin and surrounding woods, Gary and Steve cheered alongside their colleagues. They laughed over the interesting work of the killer ants and teased some of the people who shuddered at the thought of being in the group's shoes back in the cabin.

"I think this might be the best one I have ever seen" – Steve commented, clinking his mug to Gary's.

"Who would've thought those suckers would work so well?"

"Oh God, remember the killer tomatoes? Now that was a memorable one"

"The tomatoes! That one is for the books, but I think this one was pretty fun too"

"Can't argue with that"

"Hey, who went with killer ants?" – Gary shouted, and one woman raised her hand excitedly.

"Finally!" – she exclaimed as she received pats on the back and walked over to Steve and Gary.

"Congratulations, Karen, it was a longshot, but it certainly paid off"

"Hey, sometimes you gotta go with the dark horse" – she winked as she accepted her winnings.

"Well, people, celebrate as much as you can, 'cause tomorrow we start prepping for next year, you know the drill"

Everyone nodded and returned to drinking, eating and mingling.

One of the monitors, now no longer being viewed by any of them, showed the boat from above, gently rocking. Her skeleton was clearly visible against the dark wood, with both her arms over her middle.


93MANIAC - Hope you like this =D