Almanac Entry:
All-Star (*Football) Zombie
A heavy-duty zombie who charges your defensive line.
All-Star Zombie is a third-round draft pick and shows a lot of promise, but come on, his salary demands are beyond ridiculous. Ten million brains per year? For FIFTY YEARS!?
Camera's POV:
Zombie HQ
Zomboss' Quarters
"Your resume looks excellent, especially for a zombie like yourself." Zomboss spoke, commenting on All-Star (*Football) Zombie's well-made resume. He was speaking the truth, the resume's layout looked very professional. It's like as if it was written not by a zombie, but a straight A college student.
"I worked on that all night, zir." All-Star (FOOTBALL! WHY DID THEY CHANGE IT TO ALL-STAR!?) Zombie replied, posing heroically. He, however, wasn't looking as professional as his resume. He still had his old football outfit on from his very last game he played when he was a human.
"You know, I was expecting you to have a resume like the other zombies'." Zomboss told the sports zombie. He then grabbed out a large stone from his desk. "Like Jurassic's which was just a rock with some unidentifiable symbols engraved into it." He then presented said zombie's resume.
"What doez it zay? I can't read it." Al- FOOTBALL Zombie asked the zombie leader, scratching his head as he ponders what the symbols meant. Zomboss face palmed.
"I just said that they are unidentifiable, what part of that word do you not get?" Edgar asked as he put the stone back into the desk's draw.
"What doez 'unidentifiable' mean?" The zombie asked as his two pupils dashed to the opposite side of his eyes. Zomboss grunted.
"Never mind!" Zomboss yelled as he grabbed out a small piece of paper. This wasn't a normal piece of paper, this one was a really, really small piece of paper. "Then there is modern day imp's, which wasn't that bad, but I had to get a microscope just to read the whole the thing." Zomboss continued as he put the paper on the desk.
"What'z a 'microzcope'?" All-Star asked once again. This annoyed the zombie leader further.
"That is not important!" Zomboss yelled once again, barely holding back his anger. He sighed as he put the small note back in its draw. "Back on topic though, I am really impressed by the quality of your resume. The feats that you have listed are magnificent, too." Edgar complimented as he looked back at All-Star's resume.
"What can I zay? I'm a hard working zombie!" The sport loving zombie bragged as he leaned on the desk. Zomboss, for the first time in forever, was about to give a genuine smile.
"You will definitely be a great addition to the zombie army." Zomboss stated as his smile was starting to slowly form. "Now all we need to discuss is the amount of brains I will need to pay you for your services." Edgar stated as he looked at the zombie sitting across from him.
"I put my zalary demand at the bottom of the rezume." All-Star replied as he sat back in his chair, knowing that everything was downhill from here. Zomboss' smile was almost fully formed.
"Oh, that makes things a lot easier!" Zomboss exclaimed as he looked at the bottom of the page. His smile was about to be fully formed. "Let's see… You want…" Zomboss was saying until he read the salary demand. His genuine smile was no more. "10 MILLION BRAINS A YEAR!?"
"Yup, itz not that much, but I can make do with it." The zombie replied as he stared off into the distance.
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE THAT MANY BRAINS!?" Edgar screamed as a glare replaced his smile. "If I had that many Brains, I would be in retirement already!" He continued as he waved his arms around rapidly.
"Ok fine, I'll change it." All-Star told the zombie leader as he picked up his resume. He grabbed a pen and marked out the 10 million asking price. He then put a different number underneath and gave it back to Edgar.
"100 thousand Brains a year is still too much! I pay my Gargantuars 500 brains a month!" Zomboss replied as he pushed the paper back to the sports zombie.
"How about 499 brainz a month?" All-Star asked as he pushed the papers back to Zomboss. Zomboss' rage was slowly building up.
"You aren't as strong as a gargantuar, nor strong enough to get one brain less than gargantuars!" Zomboss yelled back.
"How about 400?" All-Star asked again, unintentionally annoying the boss further.
"ENOUGH!" The zombie leader screamed as he slammed his zombie hand on the desk. All-Star flinched from this, almost falling off of his chair. Zomboss sighed. "How about we do it like this: I'll put you on a trial. You will have to attack 3 different houses and I'll judge you based on how well you do. The better you do, the more brains you get, got it?" Zomboss asked the sports zombie opposite of him.
"Zoundz like a plan! I won't let you down, bozz!" All-Star stated as he got out of his chair. He posed heroically as he stood up. This caused Zomboss to grin.
"I'll send you to a newcomer's house first. If you can successfully get past his defences and eat his brains, I'll at least know you are competent." Zomboss told the All-Star as he stood up. "LET THE TESTING BEGIN!" He yelled as he pressed a button.
As the button was pressed, a bright light filled the room instantly, blocking the camera's view. After the light subsided, All-Star zombie was nowhere to be seen.
And there it is! The first part of this humorous book. This story doesn't have a schedule, so updates will be random.
Anyway, that's all I have to say. I'll see ya'll in the next chapter!
- JmanProductions
P.S. Spoiler Alert: All-Star ended up with a salary of 250 brains a month.
P.P.S Constructive Criticism is wanted (Jmon pursews betar storey riting.)
