So, before we begin, I would like to give a shout out to Tekitourabbit on DeviantArt, as it's her birthday today! For those wondering, she is the creator of the Undertale AU called SecuriTale, a post-Pacifist continuation of when Frisk becomes the ambassador of the monsters.
I won't say much else about it, because it's not mine to begin with. That said, this is a gift for her birthday, a little comedy she requested for me to write. A little out of my usual space, but something I can manage. Enjoy!
"hey kiddo, what's your thought on oranges?" a short skeleton asks a girl in a suit.
'Well, they're required for vitamins, and I find them OK in personal tasting.' she 'replies.' 'Why do you ask, Agent Sans?'
The girl in the suit is the ambassador of Monster-kind, Frisk Dreemurr. Agent Sans, one of her bodyguards, was following her back to her office.
"before i came down to the embassy, i was sitting in a café, enjoying my drink, when i spotted a lady – i believe she was called…Linda? – and she had an orange. at first, i thought it was for her breakfast, so i didn't pay much mind to it. well, until she pulled out a camera and began taking pictures of it."
'Wait, she was doing what with the orange?!' Frisk asked, stopping to look at the short skeleton with an incredulous gaze.
"that's what I first thought as well," Sans said, shrugging. "i stopped whatever i was doing to just watch her just take pictures of a freaking orange. like, what's so amazing about this orange? does it have a SOUL in it or something?! can it make things levitate?"
'Fox almighty, Agent Sans! Does it bother you that much?' the ambassador exclaims, a grin growing on her face.
"no, no! it doesn't bother me that much. what bothers me is that this lady, who i've never met, is doing everything EXCEPT eat the freaking orange!"
Frisk giggled at the orange rant. 'That's rather hilarious. I can't get that image out of my head now,' she said as she opened the door to her office, and turned on a light.
Which illuminated a fish lady and a lizard in an intense makeout session. Which also froze Frisk in her tracks.
"uh, kiddo, what's up-" the skeleton stopped as he spotted Undyne and Alphys sitting on Frisk's desk. The pinpricks in his eyes vanished with surprise. And disgust.
"kiddo. you might want to look away…" he suggested.
'Too late…' the scarred ambassador muttered. Which Alphys picked up, and shrieked in surprise.
"A-ah! Frisk! S-sans! I-I thought you'd b-be here later!" she exclaimed.
Undyne turned around, eye wide. "It's exactly what it looks like," she said.
Sans walked forward, slightly twitching. "hey kiddo."
'Yes, Agent Sans?' Frisk asked.
"…could you get a few oranges? i want to take a few pictures."
'Sure thing,' she replies, walking out of her office.
"U-um…what's w-with the o-o-oranges?" the timid scientist asked.
"oh, it's not worth explaining; you can 'cee' it a mile away."
Undyne groaned.
"what? is this g-rind-ing your gears?"
"Oh god, it's started…" Alphys muttered.
"you know, if you want, I can always fsh for better ones."
"Sans, I will take back everything I said about you being a lazy pile of bones if you just stop now," Undyne said.
"oh, now that's just 'egging' me on."
"Breakfast puns, of course he would go there, it's not even past 11 A.M…." Alphys continued.
"well, the clock is ticking, but i don't feel like punching out just yet," he said.
"I AM!" Undyne exclaimed, picking up the lizard in her arms and immediately ran out of the room.
"…heh, never gets old," Sans said, then snickered at the last, unintended pun.
So, incredibly short thing here. It was difficult to try and stretch out to a genre completely out of my comfort zone, but I think for a first attempt, it came out OK.
Once more, happy birfday Teki! You guys can go check out her art on DeviantArt at tekitourabbit . deviantart . com. Also, happy birfday to Undertale as well – a little late, I know, but I was busy doing other things at the time.
See you guys later!
