LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD
BY: Cameron M. Hess

(This is an alternate version of little red riding hood through the grandmothers perspective.)

Grandma laid there under her massive pile of soft, cushy, and warm blankets. Her body draped in a large white shirt with multi colored poke-a-dots. Her large glasses forming a large circle before her eyes making them appear bigger then they really were. Her fingers curled over the blankets from under it and a cute little look on her face as she looks at the door waiting for her dear granddaughter to show up. The light shined through the windows lighting the room up nicely in the beautiful summer day. She licked her dry lips and swallowed her remaining saliva to dampen her tongue. She let out a small coo as she relaxed in her comfy bed. Her body literally sunk within the entire cushion and was almost ready to fallback asleep.

Then a loud knocking was at the door. Large burly knuckles smacking against the wooden door. That sounded much too big to be my dear little granddaughter…so who could it be? The knocking came again and a voice came from behind the door, a voice that was to deep and poorly attempting to sound like a little girl. It was obviously the voice of a man and this puzzled grandma.

"Who is it?" Grandma asked sincerely with her sweet little voice. She leaned up a bit in bed looking at the door as if she were attempting to peer right through it. The person on the other side spoke once again with that pathetic little girl voice. "Why it's me grandma may I come in?"

Someone for some reason was planning something. Grandma glared at the door the same way an eagle looks when it sees its prey. She clutched the blankets tightly and pulled them up hearing the pocket of air releasing from underneath and listening to the flop of the blanket once it landed on the ground. Grandma then slowly walked up to the door and unlocked it. The click was rather loud, so she quickly ran back to the bed and pulled the blanket back up with an evil sadistic look on her face.

Acting was defiantly not what this person was very good at. She could see the patches of fur sticking out of the little red cloak. The hood very delicately had been pulled down just right to hide about half of its face…to bad it didn't cover his hideous snout, water dripping from his moist nose. "Oh comes closer deary, I haven't seen you in ages! My eye sight just isn't what it used to be..." grandma said with a very convincing tone. Deep within her mind though she had this all planned out. Nobody messes with grandma.

The big bad wolf looked around and then slowly closed the door behind him and locked it. He approached grandma, the floorboards creaking with every thud of his large paw. The wolf then stood beside the bed, licking his snout with his long pink tongue. She could see the drool glistening on his whiskers. Tiny little droplets dripping from his chin, and falling onto the floor, forming tiny little pools. She could hear the drool hitting the ground in thick globs. "Oh deary come closer please. Come into bed with me were it's nice and warm, cuddle with your dear old grandma." the wolf thought that this was way to good to be true. It defiantly was way too good to be true and he would be finding that out soon enough.

The wolf slipped under the warm and cozy sheets very delicately trying to act as hard as he can as a little girl in her early teens. Grandma could feel the long strands of dark fur pricking against her old skin. The wolf laid under the blankets almost identical to grandma and then she smirked as if the devil had taken hold of her and possessed her poor little old body.

The wolfs golden hues grew wide as he saw the evil look that had poised itself over grandma's face. She thought for a moment that she could hear the wolfs heartbeat growing, but it was just her own as her excitement was growing. She could see his chest pulsing. Then she lunged at him like a cougar on its fresh unsuspecting victim. Her hands quickly latched onto his shoulders and her teeth plunged into the wolfs arm. She could feel the fur going between her teeth and the rough and dry skin that took hold beneath it all. The wolf let out the loudest howl and put it's hands onto grandma's shoulders trying to push her off as best as he could but her might was overwhelming and defiantly astounding. She continuously nipped at his dry and hard skin and the wolf continued to let out vigorous howls pushing as hard as he could trying to get the old women off of him. His eyes looking around franticly, trying to find something to hit her with, or at least something to help pry her off. He then caught a glimpse of her eyes. She looked like a crazed mad women, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to attack this "cute" old woman. Finally he saw something that he could use to maybe stagger this insane woman. He planted one hand firmly on the center of her chest and his other arm shot out latching onto a candlestick. Quickly his arm brought it back and thwack the candlestick hit her over the head knocking her off of him, and the bed. He grinned seeing he had gained the upper hand and lunged off of the bed after her. His long sharp toenails cutting long slices through the sheets and mattress. The innards of the bed spewing outward behind him, looking like something from an action movie. His eyes wide as well as his mouth as he lunged at her like the wolf he is.

Then there was another unwanted and unexpected surprise for the wolf. Firmly grasped in the grandmothers hand was a wooden bat that must've been hidden under the bed and then thwack this time it was the wolfs turn to get hit. The bat hit him near his eye, the blow knocked him to the side, sending him against the shelf knocking everything off of it and smashing into the ground. She slowly stood up to her feet holding the bat up above her head ready to send another blow down upon the wolf but he swung her legs out from under her. His feet connected with her ankles, those toenails didn't leave a pleasant mark on her. She fell down onto her side making aloud thud causing her to wince in pain as the feeling shot through her entire body. The wolf quickly turned her over to her side straddling her.
His arms going to her shoulders and his face quickly started to grow nearer and nearer to hers. His mouth open as he was about to lunge those long curved fangs of his into her face but grandma wasn't about to let that happen. She lifted her arms despite his hands on her shoulders and held the bat horizontally before her causing the beasts' fangs to carve into the wood almost identical to what a fiddler's knife could do. The wolf continuously bit the bat as grandma jerked it around trying to get the wolf to fall off of her but he would not falter. She then brought her knee up between his legs causing a painful sensation to flow through him. She swore she could see his eyes water as she threw him to his side and quickly got up. She dropped the bat seeing splinters hanging off it and such. She didn't want to resort to this but she had too…

The wolf was curled up in a ball with his hands tucked between his legs…which looked rather ridiculous since he was wearing a skirt and dressed up like a girl. He bit his tongue as if that would help him then slowly got up to his knees just in time to see grandma at the other side of the room holding a 9mm glock in her hand. The gun was held sideways and her eyes looking enormous in those novelty sized glasses of hers. The wolfs eyes almost looked the same as he quickly shot his head beneath the bed just in time to hear a loud bang. Stuffing flew up into the air some of the particles landing and getting caught in his fur. The wolf growled and overturned the bed holding it up like a useless shield. It was like holding a paper kite up against a sword. But this at least hid his visibility to the delirious grandma. He heard more shots as the bullets pierced the fabric and springs with the greatest of ease. He felt one just graze his skin and fur. He saw the tiny, thin, threadlike fur as it drifted towards the ground. The wolf kicked the bed and he heard a thud as it caused grandma to fall back hitting her back against the wall. She then kicked the bed back knocking it back onto the ground. But she saw nobody. The wolf was gone? This only meant one thing, and it was too late to react once the thought came rambling into her mind. A hand shot out from under the bed gripping her ankle and pulling down onto the ground. The wolf quickly scampered out and straddled her holding her wrist down with both hands, the hand that held the gun was pinned down. Grandma grunted and growled trying to get the gun back. Her hands shaking as well as his as the power struggle continued. Then the door swung open and there stood the real little red riding hood. Her eyes wide as she saw her grandma on the ground pinned down by the big bad wolf. The remains of there fight spread out throughout the tiny cabin that her poor and dear old grandma lived in. her hands started to shake and tremble as her fingers spread apart. Her hands close to her face but not quite, as if she was going to attempt to cup her own cheeks in a way to comfort herself. Then she parted her lips and let out a bloodcurdling scream that was loud enough to make a deaf man hear again.

The wolf winced as his large ears ringed and he howled in response. But his eyes were closed; this gave grandma enough time to react. Her free hand quickly took shape, to resemble that of a kung fu master and chopped him in the neck. The wolf fell down onto his side and started twitching. Grandma quickly stood up, standing sideways to the wolf. Her eyes glazed over, glaring at him and her heart pounding. She put her freehand in front of her face turning her head and then…click The gun was empty. The wolf quickly shot up to his feet getting excited seeing the fight was not over yet. He felt he could still come back and little red let out another scream. He growled and reached over to a pillow that was rather close to him and threw it at her. The impact shot her back outside and shut her up rather nicely. Grandma threw the gun at the wolf and he looked down as he was now holding it in his hands. A bit confused at the act then heard a loud booming voice. "OH NO THERE IS A WOLF IN GRANDMA'S HOUSE!" the wolf quickly looked over to the door bewildered trying to concur who it was before even seeing who it was. It was a…it was an outdoorsman. The wolf let out a whimper seeing the axe he held, seeing it glimmering in the sunlight. It was nice, smooth, and sharp. He took a step in and could hear the loud and large boots thudding against the wood. The wolf screamed out loud and it resembled that of little reds scream and he trembled in terror. He ran to the window and dove through it. The wolfs tattered little red skirt clung to him, and his tail tucked between his legs as he ran far far away from that house. The wolf decided he would never EVER attempt to do anything like that ever again.

Little red, grandma, and the outdoorsman spent the rest of the day fixing the house up and then eating a large scrumptious meal together. They ate till there tummies were stuffed like turkeys, and then they lived happily ever after.