Pairing: Daniel/Henley, one sided Jack/Daniel

Summary: Jack knows he doesn't have a chance.


One Sided from Jack's Side


There had been elation, a feeling of floating and he could have sworn that the world stopped for that moment. He had been living in a life full of noises, never stopping, and for that one second, it was just them, the two of them. And just like that, the world slammed back into motion, causing Jack to reel back, nerves causing him to be jumpy. He laughed, wrung his hand, and tried his best to keep his cool. That had been the day they met.

It is stupid, he doesn't even know why he tries, because everyone can see it. It is so obvious, Jack isn't even sure he should be annoyed at their obliviousness or hurt by it. In front of them, he decides to go for annoyance, it is safer that way….it is safer to roll his eyes and make comments about how they need to wake up and smell the coffee. That is so much easier….except when it comes to Merritt, who knows everything and what he doesn't know, he accurately guesses.

Merritt doesn't say anything, only squeezes his shoulder or pats his back. Sometimes, he calls him kid and ruffles his hair, but that is only when the screams become too much, when Jack wants to run away, wants to tell them to just kiss, that he is getting tired of this dance, because it gives him hope that he knows he doesn't have. He knows that his feelings will never be returned and he knows that the pretty red head and the man with cute curls will end up together. That is the story and that is how it will end.

On those nights, when his mask begins to slip, Jack slips out at night, roaming the streets. He knows the streets, knows how to survive, and it helps him stay sharp. He can't afford to lose that, it is the reason why he is important, he knows that. He doesn't bother trying to lie to himself; he knows why he is there. He is there to do what the others can't with the knowledge of the streets that they don't have.

Some nights, he finds someone to take him home, finds someone who is willing to help him forget. It isn't a hard task; he doesn't lie to himself about being good looking either. It comes in handy and he doesn't shy from that.

Sometimes, he just sits on a bench, staring at the night sky, until the sun begins to peak. Then, only then, does he make his way back, not caring if he smelled of booze, smoke, or sex…. sometimes all three.

Usually he is good at hiding it, at pretending he had been there the whole night. Lately, it has become harder and he finds himself being yelled at.

Henley worries but it is always Daniel that hits the hardest. Henley raises her voice, but Daniel doesn't. The disappointment and disdain is clear in his tone and Jack always wants to punch him, and it is better than wanting to kiss him. Jack holds on to that feeling until Merritt steps in to lead Jack away. Jack can always count on big brother Merritt. By the end of everything, that is how he comes to see Merritt, who looks at Jack and keeps his secrets.

He doesn't know if his heart breaks the day he sees them kiss or if his heart had been broken the whole time. He can't tell. Truth, he doesn't want to know.

All he remembers is the elation, the relief, when a card with orders to move to California is placed upon his pillow. It lies there, like a light at the end of the tunnel, because he loves them all, but this….this he needs. To be away, away from everything that hurts. And just like the day he met Daniel, the world stops with his eyes locked upon the card, before it rushes back into motion and he can finally breathe.

There are no goodbyes, Jack hates goodbyes. He doesn't think he could stand it, either them caring too much or not caring at all.

He leaves them a souvenir instead, Merritt he leaves his sunglasses. Henley keeps his spoons. Jack leaves Daniel his pack of cards. It might be an obvious sign or maybe it isn't, Merritt will know, Henley might guess….Daniel….probably wouldn't get it. It should hurt, but that is Daniel and Jack understands that, even now.

Jack stands at the door and casts one last look around, memorizing everything. Who knows when they'll see each other again?

He leaves with what he came, his jacket and duffel bag. The world is out there, waiting for him and Jack is going to take it on. Later, he will see them again; this was only one step to the big trick Dylan was planning. Jack could do this, would do this, and later, when he saw Daniel again, his hand intertwined with Henley's, Jack wouldn't break anymore.