Hey! Long time no write? So this is my first attempt at angst and my first attempt at Brittany, so be easy.
Summary: Brittany's thoughts one morning
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee
Her side of the bed is cold by the time Brittany wakes up. Her slight smile fades as she notices how long Santana has been gone. The only trace of the cheerleader is a note, taped to the pillow.
"Sorry I had leave early again baby. I promise next time I'll stay. Love you, S."
Brittany has a box of letters similar to this under her bed in a box. It happens every time Santana stays over after they have sex. Its always a different excuse.
"My parents don't know I'm here."
"Puck's waiting for me."
"Its just casual sex, right? I don't need to wake you up before I leave."
And sometimes, there's no excuse at all. That makes the empty bedside hurt the most.
Continuing to stare at the note, Britt makes a grab for the open space where Santana should be. The empty feeling in her chest is back, and its getting worse every time shes not there.
Brittany hates herself for continuing this...thing her and Santana have, she hates how dirty she feels when San isn't there to kiss her good morning. She hates that she made Artie feel the same way.
Kurt called it "Gay Panic" and that Britt shouldn't worry, Santana would get over it eventually. The only problem is that its not getting better, in a way its getting worse. Santana is pushing the "sex is not dating" and screws guy like she's getting paid or something.
The thing is, Santana makes her feel less alone. Growing up in a house full of scientists and doctors, not being school smart can be lonely, no one understands. Santana's the only one who can, growing up in a house of all boys, she feels that same loneliness. Or at least, she used to.
Its been coming for years now, the sex. Brittany had always felt this draw to Santana. She always had to be near her. Always had to be touching her in some way. Even when they were little, Santana made Brittany happy, gave her the butterflies, and made her feel like the most important person in the world.
Maybe sex ruined it all. Maybe if they just stayed best friends, there wouldn't be this new distance between them. Santana might not try and fuck every guy she sees, or maybe she would.
Maybe Brittany wouldn't care as much.
I know its really short, but thats all I got. Reviews would be lovely!
