"Louisa".

One word stopped me dead in my tracks. My name on his lips could change everything, everything in my life. I had only planned on stopping by to leave the keys on the counter and the letter I had written him. It had taken me hours to finally get it out, wanting to apologize for ruining our holiday, his last, and begging for his forgiveness. It was on that paper that I laid out my love. It was with ink that I asked if I was still welcome to be there with him as he went to Dignitas.

My voice was only a whisper. "Yes, Will?"

I heard the whirring of his wheelchair but not before I felt his presence. The inexplicable gnawing in my chest grew with the sound of his approaching. The sting of tears invaded my eyes as I took a deep breath. I couldn't turn around to face him. The envelope crumpled in my hand as I heard his wheels take an abrupt stop behind me. One step back and I could have fallen in his lap.

There was a long stretch of silence, only our breathing mingled in the small space between us. I noticed through my short, panting breaths that his were ragged as well. The sound of him struggling to swallow came before his lungs inhaled as if they were grasping on to the last bit of life he had left.

"I'm not going."

My heart stopped.

"I can't go," He whispered. I could hear him stifle a sob "Christ, I can't go. I wake up in pain every day for the last two years but it is nothing compared to the thought of not seeing you. It's nothing. It's…"

I didn't hear the rest. I threw down the letter and let myself fall into his lap, twisting to bury my head in his neck. My own fat, heavy tears mixed with his own, drowning us both in relief. I kissed his neck over and over again, making my way to his jawline, worshipping him and pouring out my gratitude in every last kiss. They were not soft like they were on our Holiday. These were hard, rushed movements as I drank in every ounce of him like he was my only way to breathe. I finally risked looking him in the eyes.

"I love you Will Traynor," I sobbed, smiling as I held on to his face, absorbed in the blue of his dancing eyes, the pink that spread on his cheeks. "I love you so much".

He grinned that cocky grin as his eyes began to grow even wetter. "Yeah, I know".

Instead of smacking him upside the head, as instinct was, I leaned in to press my lips harshly to his.