A/N Okay, so y'know how I'm supposed to be working on my other stories? I am. I just... hit a roadblock. This story is what happens when I'm trying to write anyway. I've been mildly obsessed with outsider POVs for a while now, and I've wanted to do a Sam/Ruby story since forever. Anyway, this seemed like a good idea to do both, and so this was born. Enjoy! :) ~Sammy


The puppeteer's strings are tangled

Okay, so, demons.

They exist.

They're huge, and scary, and cruel, and merciless, and pretty much everything else you'd expect from some thing that's crawled out of hell after an eternity of torture.

So, obviously, demons aren't good news.

And I just happen to have a demon riding my sorry ass.

Which is all kinds of annoying, because it is seriously pissing off to ride shotgun in your own damn body.

Ruby's not that bad of a houseguest though. I've seen her blurry memories, seen the crap that most demons put their meatsuits through. She tells me that I should thank my lucky stars that she didn't make me run and jump off of a building just for kicks.

So I have a demon inside me, but at least I'm not dead. And that's all thanks to my luck.

Ruby tells me everything.

I don't have any control.

She tells me about her plans, and how she's going to be rewarded at the end.

She hunts down Sam again.

She tells me that exorcisms hurt and the trip back down to hell isn't fun

She lies to him, the first time she meets him while using my body. I've been bound and gagged in my own mind, and all I can do is watch. He asks her if there's a person inside, and she says that there isn't.

She tells me to shut up and stop crying.

He doesn't believe her, but she insists that she's just possessed a corpse. She says that my soul's already in heaven.

I'm kicking and screaming, but he can't see it. He just sees her, and he looks so lost.

He finally gives in, after a while, and it's so strange.

He's crying on my shoulder, but he's crying on hers, because I can't even raise a hand to comfort him. Ruby does it for me.

He alternates between devastated and furious, and the mood swings scare me, but it just annoys Ruby. She pretends, though. She acts like she's sympathetic, that she gives more than half a shit about the fact that Sam's brother is rotting in hell.

She rants about how exhausting it is to play nice. She prefers just slashing her way through anything that comes in her way.

Ruby's patient though, and she's a brilliant actress.

He's completely dependant on her after a week.

Ruby's gloating about it for days. I just want her to shut up every once in a while.

She doesn't let me out of the blindfold for a while after that.

Sam's falling for her. Or, he thinks he is, and Ruby isn't doing anything to change that. Which is weird, because, so far, she's been sticking to the plan, but this isn't part of the plan.

It's an anomaly.

Sam is beautiful, I can't deny that. He's tall and strong and so so gentle.

It still feels wrong though. Because it may be my lips crushed against his, and it may be my hair being pulled by his ginormous hands, but he's not doing it for me. He's doing it for Ruby. It's like I'm underwater, everything feels muted.

His fingers are brushing over my hip, his breath is hot against my cheek, and he's just so perfect, and I'm not the only one thinking that.

Ruby's falling too.

She's too distracted to hear me think that, so I'm not gagged again.

She lets me out, sometimes, when Sam's pressed up close, and all I can feel is the warmth that just rolls off of him. I never say anything to give myself away though, because I don't want Ruby to kill me. And it just feels so nice to be wrapped up in Sam's arms.

The plan's behind schedule. She should have been screaming and clawing her way back to the right place, but she doesn't. She says that there's time, and that everything's going to work out, but I know her enough by now to know that she's lying.

It's a month before the ball gets rolling.

Ruby's practically squealing in joy when Sam swallows down those first few drops of my blood.

And maybe I should feel weird about him drinking my blood, but really, it's her blood, and his lips feel nice on my skin.

Ruby gloats even more when Sam exorcises his first demon. It's been three months since he first tried, and she's been ridiculously impatient and allowing at the same time.

Ruby swears it's because pushing him will get them nowhere.

He rarely ever gets nosebleeds anymore. Ruby is ecstatic.

She doesn't let me out as much anymore.

She's kicking and screaming now, because he's back. Dean. Sam's brother.

Sam looks happy though, more than happy. It's like somebody's given back his Sun. And he's smiling like he's never smiled before, and all I can think is how grateful I am to Dean. And Ruby hates Sam's brother, but I swear that Sam's smile makes her essence a little bit lighter.

Sam doesn't wrap his arms around me anymore. Suddenly, I don't like Dean that much.

Sam calls though, and his mouth is desperate against my wrist. Ruby smiles, because she won't say that she missed him, but she says that she was afraid that Dean would mess things up.

He does. Dean finds out, and I try to warn Sam, but Ruby just won't let me out.

She keeps me blindfolded for ages after that. I can barely make out Sam's soft touches and too many raised voices and Ruby's smirk.

She takes off the blindfold, and I can see Sam standing in front of me. He looks torn.

Ruby's pushing, because she's so close, but he backs away. He says that he needs time to think. Ruby's ranting again.

Sam's got his cell-phone pressed up to his ear, listening to his voicemail, and there's this brush of something holy that makes me laugh and makes Ruby shudder. But Ruby's still smirking, and it's all part of the plan, and God, I just want to warn Sam, want him to run.

Ruby says she'll kill me. I don't care anymore.

She keeps me gagged though, so I can do nothing but watch as Sam turns back to look at me, his shoulders slumped. He looks heartbroken, and Ruby's resolve wavers for about half a second. I push and shove at the crack, but she pulls herself together before I can get out.

Sam drains the nurse-demon of all her blood, and Ruby's battered soul swells. Sam licks away the last traces of blood lingering on his lips.

She's never seen anything more beautiful, and I have to agree.

Lilith's in the chapel, and Sam's got his arms stretched out, and Ruby shows me the absolute power coursing through him. It's gorgeous.

Sam's eyes are black when Lilith finally goes down and Dean finally manages to break down the door.

Dean looks horrified. Ruby's laughing. Lilith's blood is cutting paths across the floor. Sam's eyes flicker back to hazel. Light is piercing through the darkness of the chapel. I just want to run away screaming.

Ruby's cackling now, boasting. I tell her to shut up, but she doesn't listen. She never listens.

Sam's expression is caught between horror and anger.

Dean's running forward with Ruby's own knife.

Sam's got my arms held tight in an embrace, and it's so warm and it's so wrong and Ruby knows that too.

She lets me out, right before the blade plunges through my abdomen, but she's too late. I can feel her essence flicker and burn out, and finally, it's just me in Sam's arms.

I'm dying, and that's okay.

I'm dead, and that's okay too.

Ruby didn't see the tears in Sam's eyes. She didn't hear the whispered apology.

I did.

In the end, we both loved Sam Winchester.

And that's okay.


A/N Well then! I really hope you liked it. Leave a review, they make me feel better, and they inspire more writing! :) ~Sammy