Chapter 1: Empty Bar
Jonathan Crane and his new found psychotic friend The Joker (who was clean of his clown paint and in jeans, t-shirt, Converses and a beanie hat), sat in a very empty bar in the narrows at the bar talking about random shit that has happened in their lives. The Joker was on his third shot of vodka but Jonathan was on his second beer.
"Don't you think you'd better take it easy?" Jonathan asked his friend after he'd just downed the shot he had in his hand.
"No." The Joker replied and burped loudly.
"That's disgusting. And it really stinks! You seriously need to brush your teeth sometimes!"
The Joker ignored the comment and looked behind him. His eyes fell a pool table with yellow light pouring down onto it.
"Hey Jonny. Wanna play pool?" He asked Jonathan slurring his word slightly.
"I think you're a little too drunk to play pool." Jonathan told him. It was true. Before The Joker had started on the shots, he'd had two beers and a cocktail.
"I don't think so." Said the barmaid who'd walked over to give The Joker a refill. "No one's ever to drunk to play pool." She was just about to tip the bottle to pour another shot when Jonathan put his hand over the top of the glass.
"I beg to differ." Jonathan said as The Joker fell off his bar stool trying to stand up.
The barmaid turned away and got down two shot glasses from the shelf behind the bar. She slammed them down onto the bar.
"Okay." She said with a satisfactory tone. "If I win, your friend get's another two shots and a game of pool." She looked over at The Joker who was tripping over his own feet trying to walk the pool table. "If you win… well you won't." She smiled at Jonathan and began to fill up the shot glasses with tequila.
"Win what?" Jonathan asked.
"My drinking game."
"Which is?"
"How many shots can you take before you're sick or you pass out?"
"Okay. You win already. I'm not drinking too much I've gotta be the designated driver tonight. Coz well, he drives like a moron and he's over the limit."
The barmaid picked up both of the glasses and knocked the tequila back. She was a young woman of about 22 with long brown hair and green eyes. She was wearing a black tank top and red trousers. She put the glasses down and shook her head.
"So what's your name?" She asked Jonathan.
"Jonathan Crane." He replied and took a swig from his beer bottle.
"Good name. I'm Cheryl Andrews. But most people call me Cherry."
"Okay." Jonathan gave her a half smile and The Joker stumbled back over to the bar.
"What's his name then?" Cherry asked Jonathan.
Tell her he's The Joker, she'll probably wet herself in fear. Scarecrow told Jonathan and laughed loudly in his head. I was gonna anyway. Jonathan replied.
"That's The Joker." He said and began to smirk.
"The infamous Joker huh?" Cherry said not merely scared but more thrilled. "Hey, Joker. Would ya like a game of pool?" She asked the drunken man next to Jonathan.
"Meh." The Joker replied. "Okay."
Before climbing over the bar Cherry grabbed two bottles of beer and the tequila bottle and followed The Joker to the pool table.
"I gotta see this." Jonathan said following them a smile appearing on his face.
Half way through the game, Cherry had got drunk and started singing setting off The Joker.
"I'm not here for your entertainment! You don't really wanna mess with me tonight!" They both sang mildly out of tune. "Just stop and take a second! I was fine before you walked into my life! Coz you know it's over, before it began. Keep your drink just give me the money! It's just you and your hand tonight!" The finished on a burst of giggles and passed a nearly empty tequila bottle to each other.
"Oh my god." Jonathan muttered. "I can't believe I haven't left you here alone yet."
"What's that Jonny? Want an encore?" Joker asked him taking a swig from the bottle.
"God No!" Jonathan cried.
"You can sing with us." Cherry suggested hitting the white ball. It ricocheted off the side of the table and knocked a yellow down the hole. She smiled and stood up.
"Uh, no thanks."
"My go." Joker sang walking round the table to the white ball.
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na." Cherry started singing. It was a little better than last time.
"Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na, na." The Joker joined in. "I guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went." He pointed a Jonathan on the word 'husband'.
"So I'm gonna drink my money, I'm not gonna pay his rent." Cherry sang losing her tune.
"Nope."
Jonathan face palmed.
"I've got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna wear it tonight."
"I'm wanna get in trouble I wanna start a fight. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. I wanna start a fight. Na, na, na, na, na, na. I wanna start a fight!" The Joker yelled the last line and joined Cherry in bouncing on the chorus.
"So, so what? I'm still a rockstar! I got my rock moves! And I don't need you! Guess what? I having more fun! Now that we're done! I'm gonna show you tonight! I'm alright! I'm just fine and you're a tool. Sooo, so what? I am a rockstar! I got my rock moves! And I don't want you tonight!" Once again they finished in a burst of drunken giggles and fell into the table laughing their arses off.
Jonathan rolled his eyes at them in disgust. Cherry sighed and leaned on the table looking at him.
"Oh lighten up Scarecrow. We're just havin' fun." She told him. "Besides I know a song you'll like." She teased.
"Oh no. I wish I'd left you two after you gave him his second vodka shot."
Cherry pushed herself off the table and walked round to sit next to Jonathan. She leaned closer to him and whispered. "This is Halloween, this is Halloween. Pumpkins scream in the dead of night."
Jonathan looked round at her with a look of amusement of his face.
"That is just not fair." He complained.
"Sing it with me Jonny. You know you want to. This is Halloween! Everybody make a scene!" She sang leaning away from him.
"Trick or Treat 'til the neighbours gonna die of fright." Joker growled before taking a swig from the tequila bottle. Cherry took it off him and shoved it in Jonathan's face.
"Have a drink." She told him. Jonathan reluctantly took it and tipped his head back pouring what was left of it down his throat.
"It's our town, everybody scream! In our town of Halloween!" Cherry sang skipping away from him.
"I am the one hiding under your bed. Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red!" Jonathan broke out.
"Yay! Jonny!" Joker cried throwing his hands into the air.
"I am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair." Jonathan continued standing up and walking over to his friend
"I am the clown with the tear away face. Here in a flash and gone without a trace." Joker sang and collapsing to the floor on queue.
"I'll say." Jonathan said staring down at his drunken friend giggling on the floor. They all started laughing as Joker stood up.
"I think I've had too much to drink." He laughed.
"Nah, you don't say." Jonathan said sarcastically. Cherry and Joker began laughing at him. He just rolled his eyes and his but still smiled.
"I think both of you have had way too much to drink." He informed them. "J. We better go home."
"Okay. Let me, uh, *hic* he, he, he." He giggled and grabbed Jonathan's shoulder before he fell over again. "You comin', Cherry?" He looked back at the drunk woman switching off lights and putting glasses in a tub marked dirty.
"Yeah, just a second." She called back. She switched off the last light and grabbed a bundle of keys before meeting the other two by the snooker table.
"C'mon you two. Let's get home before either of you lose conciseness in the street."
"I thought you were driving." Cherry said vaguely.
"Oh, no. The first time I went to a pub with this clown, he insisted on driving home and we crashed into another parked car before he even got out of the parking lot."
"Hey, you were drunk too so it wouldn't've mattered who drove."
"Ooh!" Cherry squeaked tripping over the pool table leg. Jonathan caught her with the free arm The Joker wasn't hanging onto.
"Sorry." She mumbled and gazed into his eyes. "Wow, you have beautiful eyes." She told him and pushed her lips to his out her drunken stupor.
"Woo! Go Jonny!" Joker cheered half heartedly and began to laugh at his friend.
Jonathan's eyebrows raised to the max his eyes widened greatly. She tasted sweet like the tequila she'd been drinking and when she pulled away Jonathan looked at her with an expression that said; 'Um, okay. That was a little awkward.'
"Sorry again. Shall we go?" Cherry asked and began to make her way towards the door.
"Um, okay." Jonathan said following her. He licked his lips and could still taste the tequila on them as he dragged The Joker with him.
"Hey Jonny." The Joker whispered to him.
"Yeah?" Jonathan replied.
"Are you gonna try and get lucky tonight?"
"What?"
"D'you think you'll shag Cherry?"
"No!" Jonathan was astonished he would even say something like that.
"Why? You worried you might be terrible?"
"Look shut up."
They waited for Cherry to lock up before setting off home, her and The Joker singing 'Brown Eyes' by Lady Gaga.
