Draco's Nightmare

Draco's Nightmare

Please be nice to be. I'm too young to die. This is the first (and last) humour fic I've written and it didn't help that I have a quite warped sense of humour that not many people share. Feel free to flame, I completely agree with you, it's a pile of crap (and it's also quite funny reading them…like I said…)

Once upon a time at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy was having a nightmare.

"Draco," Dumbledore was saying. "You have been such a good little boy that I have decided to make you head boy, even though you are only in fourth year. Do you accept?"

"Yes," Draco said sweetly. "Please may I go and expel Crabbe and Goyle?"

"NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T YOU LITTLE CREEP" shouted Dumbledore, as he magically transformed into Voldemort.

"I WAS VOLDEMORT ALL ALONG, YOU WORM!" shouted Dumblemort. "I AM SUCH AN IDIOT I WAS SCARED OF MYSELF"

"Arghhhh!" shouted Draco. "But why are you here?"

"I WAS TESTING YOU, YOU ICKY GOODY TWOSHOES! I WANTED TO TEST TO SEE IF YOU WOULD BE HEAD BOY. NOW I KNOW, YOU ARE NOTHING BUT SCUM LIKE YOUR FATHER! NOW I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU!"

Voldemort raised his wand and opened his mouth…and nothing came out.

"Damn, I've forgotten the words," he said, and burst into tears. "I'm…sob…an…sob…evil bloody ruler…sob…and I can't even remember the…sob…sodding words to the…sob…death spell." Voldemort cried.

Draco was so sad. He felt very sorry for him, so he made a suggestion. "Avada Kadavra?" he suggested.

Voldemort looked up. "That's it!" he said and looked all scary again.

But before he could say it, Draco shouted his special spell.

"Bloggosus Dracous trannylalas to daddyus" and he instantly was in Azkaban. There were lots of dementors there and one of them came over.

"'Allo mate!" the dementor said in a cockney accent. "'ow ya doin? Keeping up on the old crumbs'n'tagic?" *AN for those of you who don't know, cockneys are the londoners who speak in their own, completely un-understandable language (kind of)

"Yeah," Draco said back…and suddenly the dementor gave him the dementors kiss. He became his soul and he was going through the dementor. He came out the other end and flew back up to his body.

"Cheers!" said the dementor, and he burped. "See ya later, mate." Then Draco went over to the cell that his dad was in.

"Hi son," Lucious said. "Be good for me. Tell Narcissus that there really isn't a dungheap in our wardrobe, and be good for dumbledore. My son, give daddy a kiss."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo………" shouted Draco and he woke up to find that his curtains had an entangled shape torn into it. The dreaded shape of the dreaded death omen…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A sheep