Dead End
AN: This one shot is written from Marty's point of view and it is based on the following lyrics:
"Cut my life into pieces
I've reached my last resort, suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding
Do you even care if I die bleeding?
Would it be wrong, would it be right?
If I took my life tonight,
Chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight
and I'm contemplating suicide
'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine" (Lyrics from Papa Roach's Last Resort)
I stumbled home in the rain trying to forget what they had done to me. I locked all the doors as I went upstairs to shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed but I never could get clean. My life had been cut into pieces by the man that I loved when he raped me and I didn't know if I could recover from his act of violence.
I picked up the razor and thought about ending my pain permanently. Would anyone care if I died bleeding? I didn't have any friends, I had pushed them all away. Todd hated me and I now hated him...our relationship had hit a dead end. There was no coming back...there was nowhere for me to go so I pushed the razors into my arms and watched as the blood got washed down the drain. I sliced my other wrists as I sat huddled in the shower, waiting for the pain to stop.
I grew tired as all of my life force had been washed down the drain. I had nothing left to give when he kicked down the door.
"Oh...my...god Marty. I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry about everything. Please don't leave me," Todd said as he wrapped his arms around me and held my wrists so tight .
"Don't...don't touch me. Just let me die," I stated as I tried to push him away from me.
"I'm not going to let you die," Todd said as he pulled out his phone and called for an ambulance as he continued to hold onto me.
"What do you care? You hate me...you raped me and now I have nothing left."
"I'm so sorry, I was high and I took my anger out on you, but I don't hate you...I only hate myself. I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. The only thing I can do is try and make it up to you."
"It's too late," I stated as I cried.
"It's never too late. I'm not going to give up on you. You're going to be fine...everything's going to be okay," he stated over and over again.
I believed him and I knew that somehow, someway Todd and I would make it past the pain and I would be fine once again.
