The start of it all could be traced back to Pyrrha. The call for the night of disaster (and everything that followed it) had originated from the redhead, found in a conversation of good intentions and ill recipes. That conversation – the one that Yang would begrudgingly repeat to the others for years to come, as Nora sang of its success – had begun over a third round of beers, in a well-earned corner in the neighbourhood pub, an ambience of mutters and laughter intermingling with their words.

At the time, none of them could have ever foreseen what that conversation would lead up to, which was exactly why none of them had any qualms against having it.

"So, Yang, how long's it been since you've actually gone on a good date?"

Nora asked the question innocently enough, prompting a great deal of spluttering from Yang, a free shower for Jaune, and shocked expressions from the rest of them. Pyrrha had flat out stared at her friend, Ren smirking to Nora's right, Ruby laughing to her left. Yang offered Jaune her napkin in lieu of an apology – he took it without comment – and rounded on her friend, lilac eyes narrowing in retaliation.

"I don't know, Nora," she snarled back in response, "how long's it been since you've had sex with Ren?"

Pyrrha held back a red-faced, red-haired Nora, Ren beside them blushing just as furiously as his partner. Yang cackled loudly, before her laughter was cut off by the intrusion of another party.

"The answer to that question is never."

Sun dropped into the seat beside Yang, sitting down with a thud and a grin, Neptune following him back to the table. He propped his arms up on the seat cushions, looking around at his friends with a wide, cheeky grin, before continuing his earlier statement.

"What are we talking about?

The gathered groaned in response, Nora making a noise of indignation and crossing her arms in mock fury. Ren reached out a supportive hand to her shoulder, which visibly calmed the freckled girl – Yang snorted at the sight, answering the inquisitive Sun.

"The lack of Nora's sex life," she explained cheerfully, reaching out to take a new glass of beer from Neptune, nodding her thanks as her hand enclosed around the frosty glass.

Sun burst into loud howls, drawing the attention of nearby patrons – he entertained them with a rude gesture – while Neptune rolled his eyes, taking a seat beside Jaune. Pyrrha frowned at Sun's snorts and Yang's crude comment, narrowing emerald eyes at the blonde before shooting her own comment into the battlefield of a conversation.

"I believe before that," she began, drawing the attention of the unruly group back to her, "we were discussing a lack of Yang's dating life."

Neptune and Jaune both let out barks of laughter at that, earning themselves a lilac glare. Yang turned back to the smirking Pyrrha, taking note of the way the amused group now watched her, waiting for her reply. Never one to hold anything sacred, Yang thrust a finger in her sister's direction, ignoring Ruby's squawk over her eye's near impalement.

"You want to talk about a bad dating life?" Yang proclaimed, all too eagerly throwing her sister under the bus in her place, "Ruby hasn't gone on a date in over four years!"

Ruby's face changed in colour to match her namesake, pushing away her sister's arm in fury, finding little resistance as Yang and the rest laughed.

"That's not true!"

"Of couuuurse it isn't," Yang crooned, making horribly exaggerated kissing faces to her sister, "that's not at all why I found you with Crescent Rose last week, calling it 'your precious!'"

The group broke into raucous laughter at that, giggles and howls mixing with the pub's usual ambience. Ruby's face screwed up in indignance, before she leaned forwards and smacked her palms flat onto the wooden table, glaring at her sister.

"Well, if you're going to bring that up," she retaliated, "then I guess I'll just have to tell them about the time I walked into your room and caught you practicing 'make-out techniques' with your corgi pillow!"

It took a while for the laughter to fade after that, Yang and Ruby dealing with their sudden embarrassment through noogies and headlocks. When they'd finally quieted down, and people stopped staring at them in wonderment over what kind of joke had been told to evoke that kind of response, Neptune raised his pint of beer in the air.

"I guess what we can all take away from this," he called, catching the eyes of his friends, "is that Yang and Ruby both need to go on more dates!"

Before either girl could offer up a sassy retort, the rest of their group held up their own drinks, calling out 'hear, hear!' and taking a large swig to wash down the proclamation. Ruby groaned and Yang grumbled, slumping back in her seat and making a show of crossing her arms.

"You say that like it's such an easy thing to find good dates these days," she replied, pouting, "and don't even fight me on this. None of you have been in the dating market for several years now!"

She punctuated the last bit of her statement with a pointed finger at several open mouths, the responses dying in the throats of those who couldn't deny the facts. The half-sisters were the last two to find respective partners and settle down; Pyrrha and Jaune had been dating since high school, Ren and Nora had been together since childhood (though the nature of their relationship had changed later on), and Sun and Neptune had finally stopped yelling "no homo" at one another in university.

A brief silence settled at the table, each of them musing over Yang's statement in different ways. Then Pyrrha broke the silence, and simultaneously shattered any remaining aspects of a "normal" dating life for either of the sisters.

"Well, maybe all you need," she began, her voice optimistic, "is to be introduced to the right person!"

"Yeah!" Nora seconded loudly, "friends of friends!"

Pyrrha's comment of "no, that's not what I meant" was lost in the general sounds of agreement from the rest of the group, the gathered friends nodding at the suggestion, Yang and Ruby looking apprehensive. Sun then visibly startled with an idea – some might say he 'lit up' – and turned to Neptune, who by the powers of 'bro homo' appeared to have come to the same conclusion as his boyfriend.

"You've still got her?"

"Yeah. Same one for you?"

"Absolutely."

"Dude!"

They then turned back to the group, both grinning like fools, and finding several confused faces staring back at them.

"I feel like I've been part of a drive-by dialogue," Yang said, her head tilted in bewilderment, receiving an approving nod from her sister.

Sun laughed openly, his sideburns stretching along the sides of his face with the movement. Neptune smiled, raising a hand in placation.

"Don't worry about it, Yang," he began, but lost his train of thought from the disbelieving glare sent his way, "or… worry about it?"

"Don't you think too hard about it!" Sun interjected, slinging an arm around Yang's shoulders, blond to blonde, "after all, you've got no idea what we're planning!"

"That's exactly the problem," Ruby replied, silver and lilac eyes narrowing alike at Sun's statement. The monkey Faunus waved a flippant hand in response, leaning back and closing his eyes, signifying the end of his participation in the debate.

Neptune sighed, glancing to Nora.

"I'll fill you in later," he stated, prompting an enormous grin to erupt across freckled cheeks. The redhead whirled to face Yang, her smile turning almost vengeful as she spoke.

"Payback for the sex comment!" she cried, causing Pyrrha to roll her eyes, and Jaune and Ren to blush slightly.

Yang groaned in realization, Ruby sympathetically patting her shoulder, until the younger sister truly took note of the situation.

"Hey, wait a minute!" she yelped, staring at a startled Nora, "why I am being dragged into something that's really Yang's fault?"

Yang muttered something along the lines of 'it's really Pyrrha's fault,' but her commentary was drowned out by Nora's sadistic reply.

"Collateral damage."

Chuckles emanated from the group, before the silence returned, until Jaune broke it.

"Wait, I don't get it. What's going on?"

Pyrrha sighed sympathetically, ignoring Sun and Yang's snickers as she placed a hand on her partner's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," she explained softly, "Yang's just gotten herself and Ruby into trouble with dating again."

Jaune blinked at this, still not really catching on, though the half-sisters' splutters gave him some indication as to what they thought of the situation. He took hold of his glass, raising it up as he spoke.

"Well… here's to a not-so-disastrous date night, then?"

Nora and Sun laughed heartily, the rest giggling and smiling in reply as they lifted their glasses up towards his for the second time in the hour. Yang and Ruby rolled their eyes, but followed suit a moment later, frosted glass meeting with clinks.

"Hear, hear!"


A/N: Heya! HeiszKetchup here, for any new readers just embarking out on this crazy adventure. Because this fic has reached a great deal of attention - and word count - by now, I thought it would be a good idea to put in a bit of a warning at the start of this story. The night you're about to read about is one of laughter, flirting, and several shenanigans that really don't seem like they would all fit into one night; but they do, and it's, well, it's an experience. And I must admit up front that there are moments when it borders on the edge of crackfic humour, though it never does dive in.

Painting the Town isn't a particularly serious fic, so if you're looking for one of deep, angsty characters, you won't find (much of) them here. This always began as a lighthearted, fun story, and while there's a good deal of exposition and plot in later chapters, I do want you to know that at the end of it all, this story is about the good intentions of friends, the mishaps that happen as a result of them, and the way two people can become best friends over the course of twelve hours or so. If that all sounds good, then by all means, read on - and enjoy the night.