Disclaimer: Do not own Hawaii Five-0. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's Note: One minute Steve thought he had everything under control and then smack, hello fucking pavement.

More warm thanks to Wenwalke and fifilla for smacking the rookie upside the head. Another bugger to get on the page because … well, just because it's Steve's POV this time! And yes, I messed with it after it came back. So all remaining mistakes are my own. Yes, I know Wenwalke, just … stop laughing at me.

And, Happy January Birthday, praemonitus praemunitus! Yeah, well, I never said I was timely :) And yes, sorry, sorry. I couldn't just whump one of them ;) Even though you asked for just Steve.

Also, this is the beginning of a series of one shots that will be based upon what Danny and Steve don't know about each other. They'll be more when I can get to them ;)

Enjoy!

Pohihihi – Not clearly understood.

"Danny, don't." Steve took a step forward, his arms spread out no higher than his shoulders, palms turned backwards towards his teammates. "Just give me a minute." Danny was flanking him on his left, Chin on his right. Without having to look, Steve knew that Kono had eyes on the kid brandishing the gun from her placement on the nearest rooftop. "Christ, how did this get so out of hand?" One minute Steve thought he had everything under control and then smack, hello fucking pavement.

"Put the gun down, Jason." Steve took another step forward, arms still spread wide, his SIG-Sauer gripped comfortably within his hand, palms now facing the kid. "I just wanna talk."

"Oh, yeah? Like you talked to my Mom, kept in touch with her all those years? Made sure she was alright?"

Steve winced inside, but kept his face neutral and his stance as non-threatening as possible. He didn't actually know what to say to that. Because he didn't know where Jason's mom was, or how she was doing. From the looks of things, though, Rebecca was likely not doing all that well.

"I tried to keep in touch with your mom, Jase …"

"No, you didn't! You jumped ship the first second you had the chance!" Jason pressed his semi-automatic Sccxy CPX-1 into the temple of the hostage, causing her to wince and then take a step forward to keep her balance. Steve saw Danny move closer out of the corner of his eye, his partner's elbows locked in front of him, his finger just outside the trigger guard. Steve angled his next step closer to the shooter and slightly towards his partner.

"Danny, wait." He never took his eyes off of the threat, but could feel the waves of tension rolling off his teammates as the stand-off continued. Chin still maintained his ground on the right, but there was no way he was going to make Danny back off now.

They'd gotten the call for a hostage situation less than an hour ago. A local mom and pop store front, where the only thing the older employee had done wrong was show up for work that day. Normally, this would have been something handled by SWAT, but the suspect had asked for McGarrett and wouldn't talk to anyone else. So with Steve now acting as the lead, SWAT and his team were his back-up. HPD had cordoned off the perimeter. The kid was going nowhere.

"Jase …"

"Shut up, McGarrett. You've got nothing I wanna hear. I'm here for one reason. Take your vest off." The barrel of the semi-automatic ground in further, the hostage whimpering. Both shooter and victim were perfectly framed within the store's doorway. One step backwards and the pair would disappear into the blackness of the entrance, perfect cover for their perp. Five-0 and the rest of law enforcement would be right back to the beginning of the standoff if that were to happen.

"Jase, stop …"

"Take it off!" Spittle flew out of Jason's mouth, the kid's eyes narrowing. "Take it off … Take it off, NOW!"

"Steven …" The warning in his partner's voice was clear, but he ignored it.

The click of the side release buckle from one shoulder of Steve's vest made Danny take another step forward, his upper body turning to present less of a target.

"Danny, stop!" The rip of Velcro from the release of the mid-section, and his blond partner side-stepped again, the same time as he did. This time though, Steve was just feet from their shooter as he let the vest drop onto the concrete. Torn between keeping his partner out of it and getting Jason to step down, Steve sidled even more towards Danny, a tactical maneuver that was bad, bad, bad judgment on his part. They should be sticking with a divide and then conquer tactic … "Don't provide the shooter with more targets within close proximity, you idiot." Steve could just hear his partner's inner rant trying to stretch across the short distance between them, because he could almost touch Danny now too.

"Jason, look, I don't know …"

"No, you don't! Cause you were never there. Not for me. Not for my mom. And not for my DAD! You remember him, right? The guy who died because of you?"

Something must have shifted in Steve's face, because Jason leered at the sight of it.

"That's right, the SEAL that bled out because your team focused on saving you, when what they should have done was just left you. Isn't that what you told us, told my mom, over and over again? They should've left you behind and saved my dad instead? Let you die in that field so Dad could come home to us?"

The kid was red faced, his hands visibly shaking. Steve could see Jason's index finger caressing the trigger, just itching for a negligent discharge. Even if his team managed to take the kid out, the reflexive contraction as he went down might end the hostage's life.

Sweat made Steve's shirt stick to his back. He'd give anything to roll his shoulders to ease the stress, but he was afraid that a move of his upper body might set the kid off, make him squeeze when he shouldn't. So he kept inching forward and to the left, ever so slightly, until he was almost directly in front of his partner.

"Come on, just a few more feet and I can stop this."

"Steven …" Another warning from Danny that he ignored. This kid was his responsibility and his fuck up to fix.

"Ja …"

Before he could get the whole name out, he caught movement and made the rookie mistake of letting his gaze flicker over to the left, just past Danny. A SWAT officer had shifted position for a better angle on the kid. It took a split second, and before he knew it, too many things happened all at once to keep track of.

The hostage screamed as her legs gave way, unbalancing their shooter after he'd pulled the gun away from the woman's temple to aim at Steve. Then the sound of four repetitive gunshots, the second, third, and fourth almost on top of each other, before pain overloaded his remaining senses. A burning in his side as the impact, of what he was damn certain was the first bullet, spun him around and deposited him on his hands and knees facing away from the action, panting. Next, a protest, that he couldn't hear, but he was sure was coming from him, got mixed up with the confusion coming over his com link once the shooting stopped.

"Officer's down … EMT's …"

"NO! No, no, NO!" He could feel his voice tear through his throat as he pivoted in place, still on his hands and knees. He ignored the fact that he no longer had his own weapon in hand, his sight, wavering in and out, locking onto Jason. The kid was sprawled on his back, arms almost perfectly akimbo, the discharged weapon several feet away from him. Jason's legs were askew and unmoving. "No, no, no, no …" He mumbled as he clumsily bear crawled the last few feet needed to get to their shooters side, ignoring the small bits of gravel and dirt imbedding into his palms. It had been a heart shot that had taken the kid out, punched through from front to back, if the amount of blood seeping along the baked blacktop was anything to go by. In the back of his mind, Steve knew that shot came from the rooftop, from Kono, but he was still trying to catch up with what else had happened, because there was another entrance wound to the shoulder.

Aware that he was contaminating the crime scene and not caring, he sat down, hard, legs splayed out in front of him as he reached forward to grab at Jason's shoulders, pulling the kid towards him. Not until the boy's head was resting on his lap did he stop tugging at him, checking for a pulse at the carotid, though he knew there wouldn't be one.

"Damn it, Jason. Why'd you have to go and do that …" Tears threatened to leak down his cheeks, but he held them back, allowing just his sweat to trickle down the sides of his face and drip off of his chin. Small motor functions suddenly left him, like the ability to make his fingers listen so he could close the kid's eyes. Eyes that were lifeless, but still seemed to be staring at him, accusingly. His sight wavered again, and then suddenly, Kono was beside him.

"Boss? Can I see?"

She was tugging at the left side of his shirt, right about where the fabric met his waistline. He batted her hands away.

"Steve, you're bleeding here."

She'd managed to get the hem of his shirt lifted before he could smack her hand away again.

"No."

"Steve …"

"No!"

Her hands were hovering, uncertainty clearly written across her face. He didn't care, until he looked away and saw Chin hovering, low to the ground, beside the prone form of his partner. Not even Danny's legs were moving.

"Danny? No … crap, Danny!" Barely able to keep his torso upright, Steve cradled the kids head until he could place it gently on the asphalt once he'd scooted backwards. He scrambled to his hands and knees again, and after taking too much time, got to his feet long enough to stumble his way over to Danny's side, Kono just behind him. He dropped back down to his knees, almost face planting beside his partner, opposite Chin.

"God, Danny, no." He couldn't get the words to come out stronger than a whisper. Uncertain where to place he hands, he looked over to his teammate. "Chin?" The Hawaiian stayed crouched down, but turned his head to look at him.

"He's breathing … strong pulse. I think he caught one in the vest after he got off that shot." Chin turned his attention back to their teammate, placing a gloved palm between Danny's cheek and the blacktop. "Hey, Danny, can you hear me?"

His partner's face was turned towards Chin, so Steve couldn't get a good look at him when Danny moaned. He caught the movement of his legs though, and his twitching fingers. Steve's vision swam then, his relief causing goose bumps, right before nausea swamped him. He scrambled several feet away from his teammates, still on hands and knees, to retch. This time he would've biffed it right back down into his puke had it not been for Kono's hands latching onto his shoulders.

"Easy, Steve …"

The lilt of Kono's voice washed over him, more than her words, as he began to dry heave. Kept dry heaving, until his teammate wasn't the only one at his side.

"Commander?"

Steve shook his head 'no' at the voice, because it wasn't the voice that he needed to hear. Not certain he stomach was done with him, he raised a hand off the blacktop to pat at the fingers still strangling his shoulder. Tears, from puking, mixed with the snot and bile that strung down from his nose and open mouth. He barely had the energy to spit it away.

"Commander, I want to place you on your side …"

Steve shook his head 'no' again. Fairly certain this time that he was finished, he wiped his sleeve across his face. Disgusting, yes, but efficient, and frankly, he couldn't give a damn. Another tap at Kono's hand on his shoulder as a heads up, and he was upright. Well, almost. He'd at least made it to just kneeling.

"Danny?" His voice was shot to hell and he saw Kono wince from the sound of it. "Help me over there." That sounded even worse. She didn't bother to answer him, just nodded to the EMT, likely knowing that he'd be more complaint once he found out how his partner was. Little did she know that seeing Danny still lying prone across the ground did nothing to ease his guilt, only amplified it. Plus, not only was Chin crouched beside their teammate, an EMT was as well. So even though that should have eased his mind—the thought that his partner was finally receiving medical treatment—the EMT's presence did not, because only the two of them were talking. Danny was quiet again, and the only way Steve knew he was awake was when his partner moved. Sluggish movements that didn't still when Chin said something to try to stop them.

Once the second EMT and Kono eased Steve back down onto his side, he was just close enough so he could reach out to touch Danny and still see Jason no more than ten, maybe fifteen feet from them. No one was paying attention to the dead, only to the living. More than a little part of Steve's psyche shriveled every time he caught a glimpse of someone walking past the kid, or marking evidence around him. He'd already convinced himself that their shooter wouldn't be dead if he'd gotten through to him sooner. And Danny wouldn't be laying on the filthy blacktop struggling to breathe.

He ended up ignoring the questions from the EMT checking his side, his hand reaching out to rest on the nape of his partner's neck. And unsurprisingly, Danny tried to move to face him. He should've remembered his ability to reach his partner when no one else could elicit a true response, but he hadn't.

"No, no, Danny, don't move yet." Chin placed his hand between Danny's shoulder blades to hold him steady. But his partner didn't still. Instead, he turned his head far enough to face Steve, his eyes still closed and he groaned at the effort.

"Hey, do what … do what Chin says. Stay still." Steve's voice kept giving out on him, and when he tried to raise his head to get a better look at his partner, the world began to spin, making him slam his eyelids closed and set his head back down. Even closed though, his equilibrium kept tilting, renewing his nausea until he was forced to keep swallowing repeatedly. Another groan reached his ears, but he wasn't certain if it came from him or his partner. His hand had trailed down to Danny's shoulder and he just about registered the sound of Velcro releasing on his partner's tac vest before someone tried to peel his fingers out of his friend's long sleeved dress shirt.

"No …" His voice croaked out the warning, his hand clenching tighter to the fabric. This time, the groan he heard was from Danny. Steve yanked harder, trying to draw his partner closer.

"Commander? You gotta let go … let go of him, Commander."

"No …" Steve protested again. He kept tugging on Danny's shirt to pull his friend nearer so he could get his arms around him, keep him safe. The voices around Steve were getting more jumbled and more animated when, in a surprising burst of momentum, he managed to latch onto Danny with both fists. A quick turn almost onto his belly and he'd scooped Danny into his chest, rolling into anyone who'd gotten in his way. He was now essentially spooning the smaller man into him, but someone kept trying to pry his fingers open and pull his arms away, so Steve wrapped his legs around his friend's, almost squishing him.

"No, Steve, come on. Let him go …"

Steve registered Chin's voice, but then he lost the cadence of it. Couldn't keep track of everything that was happening around him, why they were trying to get his downed teammate away from him. So he focused solely on the man in his arms, burying his face into his friend's hair and breathing deeply. He concentrated on the rise and fall of the injured man's chest, until the images all around him suddenly slipped and a concussive whump, whump, whump replaced the chaotic sounds of the recent hostage scene altogether.

"No …" A whispered protest, but it was too late. He was back there, back to a SEAL mission gone south, before everything around him finally went black and the man he should have saved slipped through his fingers.

H50

Sounds came back first. The clearing of a throat, the mummer of voices, and footfalls all around him. A touch to his shoulder came next, and then the questions …

"Commander McGarrett? Can you hear me?" That was a man's voice on his left. Steve nodded without opening his eyes.

"Hospital. Got it …"

"Commander, I'm Doctor Nguyen. You're in recovery following surgery for the gunshot wound you received to your side."

"That answers that question …"

Steve nodded again, indicating that he understood, though the doc hadn't asked. He forced his eyelids open, running a hand across his eyelashes to scrub away the feeling of crusted goo before he turned his head to look at the guy.

"Glad to see you're awake, Commander …"

"When …" Steve cleared his throat, "When can I get out of here?" He hated hospitals. So when his doc actually smirked at him, but didn't hesitate with the answer, he cocked a grin back.

"Tonight, tomorrow morning at the latest. You've got a deep gash on your side that bled quite a bit before we could get a handle on it, so you'll be tired for a couple of days as your body tries to recover. Multiple sutures that you'll need to keep clean and dressed. Some antibiotics. No heavy lifting for a bit, but overall, you'll be good to go. How's your pain?"

"It's fine. And thanks, doc." Steve liked this guy; no nonsense and straight to the point. But he hoped the doc had caught on to the blatant dismissal and that his patient just wanted an expedited discharge.

Nguyen nodded at him … and then stood there, as if waiting for the inevitable. Steve frowned, worrying the bedding with his fingers. More seconds of nothing and Steve finally gave in.

"What …" And then it hit him, Danny down. Jason dead … Jason's dad. The memories crashed into him like a massive pile-up on the H1 interstate. The force of each fuck up seemed to knock the wind out of him. He tried to curl in on himself, clenching his eyelids closed as he worked to suck the next breath into his lungs.

"Easy, Commander." The doc kept his hand on Steve's shoulder, pressing him back into the mattress. "Your partner will be fine. Your team said he would be the first thing you'd worry about."

"Danny's al…"

"Detective Williams is getting tests run. The bullet caught his vest at the fifth and sixth rib, the impact fracturing both and causing extensive bruising. His release will be dependent on those results. He'll be incredibly sore …"

More memories came flooding back, causing him to lose track of the doc's voice within the images. Glimpses of himself keeping his partner away from medical help. Chin trying to pry Steve off, and then the flashback.

"No …" Steve ground out the protest, shoving images back down, forcing himself to take deeper breaths. The back of his throat hurt at the force and intensity of his growled objection.

"Excuse me?"

"Not you, doc. Sorry …" Still breathing hard and struggling with his racking guilt, Steve managed to get out another question. "Did I …?"

"No. No harm done. I know all about what happened at the scene. Detective Williams is fine. Will be fine. You didn't cause any further injuries. The damage had already been done by the bullet."

There was no judgment in the doc's face, no questions regarding Steve's actions or his need to protect. He would've thanked the man for that small consolation, but he was worn down and the emotional drain was overpowering him. The doc must have picked up on it.

"Get some rest, Commander. I'll check in on you later, once you've been settled. The rest of your team is waiting for word about Detective Williams. We can …"

"No, tell them to stay with Danny. Make sure he's okay. I'm fine. Tell them I'm fine and that I need the rest." He closed his eyes, shutting out the doc's raised eyebrows. His disapproval, or at least Steve's interpretation of the man's tone, was fairly evident in his abbreviated reply.

"Alright. I'll let them know."

A pat to his forearm, and Steve could hear the man move away. He sighed, clenching the sheets and then releasing them. He needed to get out, get out of this place, and get some answers.

H50

Steve heard the sound of the double doors opening, knew who it was before the rant announced the newcomers identity in all his raging glory.

"What the hell is the matter with you, huh? You make me leave the confines of my comfy hospital bed so I can chase down your sorry, AMA ass, for what? What's so damn important that it couldn't wait a day? Or that Chin and Kono couldn't look it up for you?" Danny's right hand was wrapped around his torso, seemingly protecting his ribcage, his left, flailing in a debilitated imitation of his normally, healthy self. He was also slouched and so un-cocky in his stride towards the smart table that Steve was frowning by the time his partner reached it.

"What're you doing here?"

"I asked you first. So my question stands to be answered before yours. A question, I may point out, that's warranted and has merit. So please, enlighten me before the turn of the next century you idiot." Danny drew in a cautious breath, then, seemingly distracted by what was up on the screen, pointed at it. "Who's that?"

"Rebecca, Blake's wife."

"Okay, I give up. For those of us mere mortals still suffering from the effects of too much pain medication still racing through our systems, who's Blake?"

"Jason's dad."

Danny rolled his eyes and released a long, exasperated sigh.

"Yes, I gathered that Blake and Rebecca were said parents of one messed up kid who tried to drill a bullet through your sorry—mind you—unprotected ass…"

"He wasn't aiming for my ass, Danny …"

"… torso … whatever. Now that we've cleared that up, that wasn't the intent of my original question. So, let me repeat it for you. Who's Blake and why was his son gunning for you?"

Before he could answer, Danny reached down into his pants pocket, pulling out a prescription bottle, then another, chucking each one independently at him. His partner smirked when the first one hit him squarely in the chest. It bounced along the glass surface before rolling to a stop. Steve was able to snatch the other one out of the air before it connected.

"Oh, and you forgot these. You're welcome."

Steve glowered, setting both bottles on the smart table with a loud click.

"You want me to answer now?"

Danny gestured a 'please, go ahead', his eyebrows raising in expectation.

"I can't tell you much. It's classified information."

Another eye roll from Danny caused Steve's frown to deepen. He hated it when his partner rolled his eyes at him.

"What's classified? Who Blake is? Why his son was gunning for you? Or the mission that went south?"

Danny leaned against the tabletop, his left palm flat, his fingers splayed. It was as if his partner's arm was holding most of his upper body weight. Steve squinted, studying his friend further, not liking what he was seeing. Before he could get a word out edge wise though, Danny continued.

"No, wait. Let me help you out. I, for one, listen, when people speak. And our young shooter was very forthcoming with information before Kono saved said sorry ass." Danny nodded towards him to make his point. "Blake was a member of one of your SEAL teams. Mission gone bad, Blake dies, kid blames you. Likely because you guilt tripped yourself into believing it was your fault, when it wasn't, but said as much to them anyway. You lost track of the kid, and his mother, and from what you've pulled up here," his partner pointed at the screen again, "it seems that Rebecca is also deceased, died two months ago. Cancer."

Danny slapped his palm back onto the top of the smart table, the smack audible. The tremble to his friend's upper body was more visible as well, but the blond cut him off again when Steve opened his mouth to finally say something.

"What I want to know is why then, in that thick head of yours, you think that this is somehow your fault. I don't need to know about the mission, or why Blake died—though, like I said, I'm sure you think that's on you, too—I want to know why you think a young adult's decision—emphasis on adult, Steven—to pull a gun on an innocent woman is somehow you're doing? That you somehow forced the kid to take a hostage and then actually put a bullet through your flesh? Tell me, please, how that mixed up head of yours thinks that you caused that?"

Danny was panting by the time he'd finished his rant, sweat pouring down his temples. Without lifting up his hand, his partner tried to wipe one side of his face along the top of his shoulder, but then stopped when he lost his balance.

Steve was around the smart table, grabbing his friend's elbow before Danny could topple to the floor.

"Jesus, Danny. Are you done now? Office ... come on." Steve steered his partner towards the couch, Danny shaking so hard now he thought his own teeth would start rattling. The fact that his friend went willingly, and quietly, made all of Steve's self-loathing get set to the side. Once he had his friend settled—Danny's head was tilted onto the back of the couch, hands at his sides, palms up—Steve leaned over to lift up his partner's shirt hem to check the damage for himself, but his hands were knocked weakly away.

"Hands off, McGarrett."

The protest came out as a mumble, but Steve got the message.

"How bad is it?"

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Danny smirked.

"Funny. Fair enough." Steve collapsed into a sit next to his partner, knees and shoulders touching when he slouched down so his head could rest comfortably against the back of the couch. Now that his friend wasn't making his brain spin, he frowned, turning to stare at him, thinking. "Wait, how'd you get here?"

"Same way as you. I took a cab," Danny mumbled, his eyelids closed, both arms wrapped around his ribcage now.

"Oh, shit! Danny you ..."

"No, no. You don't get to 'oh, shit, Danny' me. This is all your fault, Steven. If I hadn't had to chase your sorry ass all over the island …" One hand weakly gestured, but then dropped back down onto his chest.

"They're going to kill us ..."

"Nope, just you."

"Why just me?" Steve sat up straighter, realization hitting him so hard he ended up jostling Danny, causing his friend to groan. "Wait, if you took a cab that means you ditched Kono and Chin at the hospital, and signed out AMA … what the hell, Danny!"

"They were distracted looking for you, so it was easy. Besides, what's with the pot, kettle, black thingy you've got going on here?" Danny shrugged. "You just went 'poof', your usual shtick, I might add. And I know you, Steven. I know you. Somewhere in that mixed up mind of yours, you're taking what happened onto your own shoulders and that ain't gonna happen. I don't care about that mission, about the past. The kid's death's not on you. That was my bullet, and Kono's, lodged in his body. And it was his choice to break the law, and his choice to shoot you. It's that simple."

Steve didn't flinch, even though his stomach clenched in reaction to his partner's intensity. Danny's eyes were still closed, and he was sagging more into the couch, but the man grimaced anytime he tried to change positions. The silence between them crackled like electricity, both lost in their own thoughts, until Steve finally cleared his throat. He was done watching his brother's discomfort because of his past.

"Come here." Steve tapped Danny on the shoulder and then patted his thigh.

"Not that kind of guy, Steven."

"Shut up and lay down, before you fall over. It'll take the pressure off your ribs." His partner begrudgingly acquiesced with a nod, so Steve guided his friend down onto his side, the blonde's head finally resting on his leg.

"Fuck that hurts," Danny mumbled.

"Yeah, I bet it does." Steve rested his head back onto the couch again and blew out a long, slow breath. "We should call them."

"You can. I'm too tired."

"Think they'll figure it out?"

"Yep. And then they'll kill us. Better to just call them, babe. Take your licks over the phone. They'll have cooled off by the time they get here then."

"Good point."

H50

They'd both been quiet for several minutes now. A comfortable kind of silence while they waited for Chin and Kono to show up to chauffeur them home. There'd been the threat of bodily injury, or death, if they moved an inch off the couch, or so Kono had screamed through the line. Steve had needed to pull his phone away from his ear, shoving the cell towards his partner as if to say "here, you take it", but his friend had only chuckled and fluttered his fingers at him, "nope, you're doing fine, babe". He figured Danny had been out cold ever since, his partner's normally kinetic body pliably limp now.

Steve was still leaning back, his eyes closed, his hands resting on his partner's shoulders when the memories he'd shoved aside for all those years came floating back again. Gently at first, then more forcefully, until they put down roots and Steve couldn't fight them. Now that the hospital's drugs had worn off, he couldn't do anything but think, and obsess, and physically hurt. The pain in his side was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil brought about by the kid's presence though. But when he opened his mouth—thought he could let go—he snapped it shut again. Try as he might, knowing he had to, it took what seemed like forever of him trying, and then failing, and then trying again to get the words out. But then, without warning, the images paired with his voice and unspooled on him. And once Steve started to unravel, he just couldn't stop.

"I knew Jason—because of Blake—knew him most of his life, watched him grow up." Steve felt Danny startle, but kept going when his partner didn't object or try to get up. "Put up with his dad whipping out pictures every chance he got." Steve chuckled, forcing his eyes open to stare at the ceiling and his lips to turn up into a soft smile. "Man, he loved that kid. Couldn't shut up about him. Drove us all nuts. But Blake was hard core SEAL. Didn't want to get out, even though Rebecca begged him. Can't remember how many times she pleaded, cause you know, she hated the life, being the wife of a SEAL. Swore she never signed up for it. Said Blake never discussed it with her. Just showed up one day saying he volunteered for the SEAL program and he'd be back when he'd made it through training. I don't think she ever really forgave him for that."

Steve gazed down at the blond head in his lap. Before he could look back up at the ceiling though, his hands began to shake. He frowned, tried to stop them, but he couldn't. By now he was sure Danny was the only thing keeping him tethered to the present, so he pushed on, still staring at his anchor.

"I don't remember much, mostly just the noise and the chaos … and the echoes of Blake's screams." Steve bit his lip, feeling his body aching for sleep, but knowing that nightmares would swamp him, grisly and hellacious, if he didn't get this out. "Lots of blood. Mostly his. When I woke up the first time, I was still covered in it. Didn't remember why. Later, I found out that I'd had my hand buried in his leg trying to pinch off a bleeder. Guess that's why I remember the screams. I went down shortly after that, couldn't get back up. The rest of the team got us both out. But Blake never really had a chance. They said he knew it. That you could see it in his eyes."

Steve cleared his throat several times, the images still coming hard and fast. He pulled in a deep breath, ignoring the cutting pain in his side and tried to breathe through it. By the time he could continue he was unconsciously rolling the cotton of his partner's shirt between his thumb and his forefinger. And Danny was letting him.

"Jason had it wrong though … what he said out there today. They told me Blake was already gone by the time the chopper could pull us out. No one could've saved him." Steve's eyes went wide and wet at the admission. It was the first time he'd ever really been honest with himself about what happened to Blake. And he knew the acknowledgement was because of Danny. Only his brother would've been able to pull that out of him and make him believe it, just by his presence. Steve leaned his head back again, resting against the couch, his eyes closing.

"I went to visit Rebecca, after I'd gotten back to the States. She was a mess … and Jason … you could tell the kid was angry. Angry at the world, his mom, his dad … me. And yeah, you know, I felt guilty that I'd made it and Blake didn't. Thought I should've been able to save him, or that it should've been me, not him. He had Jase. So I stayed in touch every chance I got, till one day, she just up and left. Packed up Jason and split. No word, no nothing. Never heard from her again. Didn't try to find her, or look for them …"

It was Steve's turn to startle when Danny finally spoke, his voice gravely.

"She didn't want you to, babe. Didn't want you to find her."

Steve felt a hot, acidic rush in his throat, a constriction that forced his breath to wheeze between his lips. But he forced it all back down, because, for once, Danny had called Rebecca's move for what it was, though he was still loath to admit it.

"Yeah, I know. I think I only made it more painful for her, prolonging the contact. Just another reminder. But maybe… maybe for Jason …" The wheeze was back. Tears welling underneath his closed lids, threatening to leak out and tumble over.

"No, Steven, don't. It's not your fault. Not what happened to Blake, or Rebecca, or Jason. Not your burden to bear, babe. So let it lie."

Steve opened his eyes, staring up at the ceiling, a bit dazed and unsure of what to say. So he said what was true for both of them.

"Easier said than done, Danno."

"Yeah, I know that, too. But you do it anyway. Because life goes on, babe. And there's too many people here who need you to keep living it. Be their Super SEAL."

Another silence strung between them. Until Steve forced himself to remember that there, glowing like the stubborn embers of a fire, was his 'ohana's willingness to fight for one another. And that he had Danny; staunch, stalwart and steadfast. A true brother in every sense of the word. More so than those he had when he was a SEAL. So he scrambled for the next second and the next breath, felt something shameful and guilty loosen, and wither away. When the tears finally triumphed, were rolling down the sides of his temples and into his hair, he let them come, even though it was still hard to do so. And even though he was sweating and physically exhausted, and now just wanted to throw up at his show of emotions, his partner was right. His 'ohana needed him as much as he needed them. And life went on.

"Figures. Right, twice in one day. Smug bastard."

Steve looked down at his brother, the corners of his mouth turning up into a lopsided grin, the tears still trailing down his cheeks in a slow trickle before he could wipe them away.

"Thanks, Danny."

His partner patted his thigh.

"You're welcome. Just remember that you get to be my super hero as soon as Kalakaua walks through that door to kick our asses. I'm injured. I need you to protect me. Gracie will never forgive you if you don't."

Steve's grin widened. This was what he loved about his partner. As much as Danny could … would … bitch and moan and go on for hours about nothing, he knew when to let go of the important stuff. When he'd prodded just enough.

Another stretch of silence before Danny spoke again, his eyes still closed.

"You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good, Danno."

"Glad to hear it. 'Bout time. But don't wake me when they get here."

Steve could just about see the smirk of satisfaction flit across all of Danny's face as he settled further into the couch.

"Not a chance, partner. We're in this together. You're getting up."

Danny raised his hand for a fist bump. Steve didn't hesitate.

"Okay. Together then, Steven."

"Yep, together."

~the end~