Hey guys! So I decided that I'm going to stick with writing one-shots since I can continue with them while school starts. I'm sorry for this but there is no other way. Okay so this one is a two-shot and I hope you like it!
Love, Pal :)
This wasn't me. This wasn't how I saw myself. This wasn't how I was supposed to be. I had big dreams just like any other person. I dreamed of myself as a famous singer who people admired, a perfect role-model for people to follow. Demi Lovato! The superstar! I wasn't meant to be here, in my dark, lifeless room, locked away from reality. I wasn't meant to be surrounded by empty alcohol bottles. I, the person who loved being clean and neat, was not meant to be slumped in the corner with hair uncared for, for months. I wasn't meant to be sat their still relishing the feeling of wearing nothing but his shirt. And finally, I was definitely not meant to be caressing a knife with my fingers, and admiring the red droplets forming and dripping out. This wasn't me. This wasn't my fault. It was his fault.
It was all because of that day, the day that was supposed to be yet another day of my life. That day when my best friend shared the news of her marriage with me. I can still remember Selena's face glowing with excitement and happiness. I remember my emotions mirroring hers and how proud I felt of my best friend. That night we arrived at the club to meet her fiancé. If only I knew that this was the outcome, I would have never gone. I should have never met him there. I should have never felt those sparks that we both felt as our hands touched. I wish that Selena had never gotten that call which had her leave me with him. I wish we would have never talked that night and felt like we belonged together. I wish I would have never seen your hazel eyes shine brightly at me as he led me into that room. I wish we never had experienced that love we felt that night. The love I felt as him caressed every inch of me. I wish I never felt it at all.
That morning we woke up tangled in each other. We both felt guilt. We knew we weren't drunk. We had had no excuse. We spent time with Selena and continued like it never happened. During that time I longed for your touch. I wish I hadn't, because then when he ended up on doorstep asking for me, and kissing me with his velvet lips, I wouldn't have let him come in.
I shared another night of complete bliss with him. Next day we experienced the same emotions. Only this time, we didn't regret it no matter how wrong this was. I wish we hadn't spent the days with Selena as if nothing was happening and when night dawned upon, he would be on my doorstep yet. I would continue making my mistake only for the sheer bliss of him every night. He would always tell me he loved me. He would consol me when I would break down in guilt. He would wrap his arms around me and whisper sweet nothings to me. We would often just lie on my balcony gazing at the stars, cherishing the feeling of us together. I still remember the day he told me that he was breaking up with Selena for me. I should have felt bad, but I felt happy, maybe because he actually cared about me.
I remember my promise that I given him. I would be waiting for him at my house and he would get a surprise. I remember his grin and the passion he had kissed me with. He left to break the news to Selena and I covered my house with roses and candles, and dressed myself in the most beautiful attire. I sat there waiting for him, dreaming of what was to come. I wish I hadn't or I wouldn't be here where I am now.
After a long wait he came. I ran to the door in delight but I opened to see his broken face. I felt my smile drop as he told me the news. Selena was pregnant with his baby. He couldn't leave her. He was getting married to her. After all we had been through, he left me. He just left me standing there with my shattered heart.
I stopped living ever since. My face always tears stained. I ignored every call, every visit to my house. Soon they stopped, breaking me even more. They gave up on me so easily. Here I am now, with pool of blood in front of me from my cuts. I slowly caressed my wrist with the knife. I took a look at all the pictures scattered around the room. I closed my eyes remembering all my memories. They all seemed to be happy memories that seemed to be taunting me. I felt more tears slip as I felt my hand get into position.
Without another thought, I swiftly dragged the knife smoothly and deeply on my wrist. I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I heard the knife drop as the room started to blur. I felt my breathing slow. I knew I was close to the end. I slowly fell on to my knees. I grabbed my last note in my other hand and lay sideways on the floor. I felt my legs bend slowly. The pain was overwhelming. I tried imagining that he was spooning me right now. I felt the pain ease slowly. I opened my eyes lightly to see my wrist covered in blood. I felt the peaceful darkness overcome me. I remembered his face for the last time. I spoke my last words before slowly everything faded away.
"Joe"
R&R Please! :)
