What? I'm publishing on here! Yeah, I kind of wrote some Frozen fanfiction (by accident I swear) and I might continue this, but I always liked the idea that Kristoff, well, I won't spoil it. Cheesy questionable goodness. Enjoy.
(Also if you like Star Trek reader inserts check out my deviant art page.)
Anna sat on the last few steps of the stairs, a book on her lap. She was really just passing time as Kristoff scared up some late night snacks for them. He had snuck around, insisting she was too clumsy to infiltrate the kitchen. She had shrugged when he said that, unable to deny the act she was more likely to knock over all the pots and pans. But Anna still wanted to embark on the short journey as a guard.
So Anna sat on the stairs reading in her nightgown, hair already a messy knot that seemed to defy gravity.
Outside the blizzard seemed to roar on, as the wind shook the doors. Wind howled, it's presence known all over the castle, and even now Anna felt a little chilled. The doors sounded like someone was banging on the other side and wanted to come in. Maybe it was nothing, which was what Anna tried to convince herself. She looked up from her book, sneaking a glance at the door that was visibly shaken, before quickly going back to her book.
If it was someone on the other side though, it might be someone who is really cold. Maybe hungry. If it was, well then it was definitely the a Princess of Arendelle's duty to help them. Elsa had been warning Anna about the dangers of assassins though. If there was someone on the other side of that door, it could just as well be a murderer, or so Anna convinced herself.
But it was definitely a poor, cold old woman who needed shelter for the night, Anna convinced herself. So she set her book down, carefully memorizing her page number and closing it before opening the door. She unlocked the door as a loud clicking noise resounded throughout the door.
Much to her surprise,the door flew open and someone came in. Anna fell over at the sudden blast of wind that blew out the candles in the entryway. The door swung back, and the person that had come rushing in slammed it shut. The echo through the castle probably woke Elsa. Anna could hear Kristoff come running into the room, abandoning his job in the kitchen.
"Anna!" His voice was hoarse with worry.
"Well you could have opened the door earlier. I've got snow everywhere." Said the surprise guest, taking off their toque and scarf and dusting the snow off their shoulders. Kristoff came closer, relighting most of the extinguished candles.
"Uhh, excuse me, but who are you? Anna asked, standing up properly, trying to ignore the fact she was in her nightie and her hair was a mess.
"Hasn't little Kristoff told you? I'm his big sister!" Her booming voice said, and Anna saw the resemblance between this person and her fiancé. She was tall and buff, but possible even bigger than Kristoff. Her hair was long, dirty blonde, and tangled into what seemed to be a thick braid. There was a great big birthmark on her cheek.
"Hertha?" Kristoff whispered, coming to stand next to Anna, handing her a candle to hold.
"Big sister?" Anna whispered back, equally concerned and confused.
"You little pain, did you think you could go get married and not invite me? Without me there'd be no you." Hertha laughed, a great booming chortle. Anna felt hopelessly small in comparison. This was a little much for her to handle right now, and she kind of felt like she needed to sit down.
"I couldn't find you! It's not my fault you were overseas when it all went crazy here." Kristoff defended himself. Hertha was taking off her layers, an ever growing pile next to her of well loved snow gear. She was looking more feminine, but still bulkier and larger than life.
"Well I'm upset I heard my baby brother was getting married to a Princess from a merchant four countries away." Upstairs, the open and close of what Anna thought to be Elsa's bedroom door made Anna even more nervous.
"I'm sure you're hungry, why don't we get you something to eat?" Anna suggested, gesturing to the kitchen. Kristoff agreed wholeheartedly, leading the way for his sister. Hertha's feet thumped on the wooden floors, hiding the arrival of Elsa, who stood in the doorway expectantly. Anna didn't notice her there until Hertha was sitting at the table eating and the room had fallen silent.
"Oh, Elsa!" Anna said, getting up from her seat at the table.
"It's okay Anna. Can I talk with Kristoff in the hall, please?" Anna sat back down, unsure if she was comfortable to be alone with Hertha for even a few minutes. But that didn't matter, because Kristoff got up, pushing his chair back, and followed her sister into the hall. The kitchen door swung behind them, wavering back and forth for a few more swings before settling.
In the hall, Kristoff stood behind Elsa, who had her back turned to him, massaging her temples. He stood there awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say.
"When were you going to mention you have a sister?" Elsa asked, turning to face him, eyes closed.
"I kind of... Forgot about her." Kristoff admitted, a hand reaching up and nervously scratching his neck.
"How do you forget a sister?" Her voice was soft and level, causing Kristoff to worry. Though he had no reason to; Elsa wouldn't do any harm to him.
"She's ten years older than I am! I never grew up with Hertha, she just worked with the rest of the ice harvesters I tagged along with as a kid. Then she left, and I didn't know why and I didn't think it was any of my business. We just sort of fell out of each other's company." Elsa opened her eyes, and for a moment Kristoff thought he saw tears. When he looked again, they were gone.
"It's awful that you never got to grow up with your sister. We'll do whatever we can to make her comfortable in the castle." Elsa said, straightening up her posture and looking straight into Kristoff's eyes with the regality of a queen. "Though you need to tell Anna."
"Okay, sounds good." Kristoff agreed, waiting for Elsa to go back into the kitchen. She paced back and forth before stopping in front of him and giving him a hug.
"I'm so sorry you didn't know Hertha when you were growing up. I know just how terrible that feels."
Kristoff hugged Elsa back. "It's okay. Besides, she's apparently coming to my wedding."
In the kitchen, things weren't going as well. Anna had tried to make small talk with Hertha, friendly getting-to-know-you questions that were always lighthearted fun. Hertha, however, seemed fixated on her sandwich and was rather frosty in her replies. But Anna wasn't known for giving up, so she persevered until Kristoff came back. She decided she would fix herself a sandwich, taking some bread and spreading peanut butter on the halves.
"How long have you known Kristoff?" Hertha asked, wiping her hands on her pants in such a manner it made Anna cringe. But she went back to preparing her sandwich.
"Two years, and we're going to get married in the spring." Anna chirped merrily as she plated her culinary masterpiece. She resumed her place at the table.
"Is it 'cuz you're pregnant?" The other woman blurted curtly. Anna choked on her sandwich.
"No, no, no, I'm not pregnant!" Just at that time the doors opened, Kristoff and Elsa returning to the table and taking seats quietly. A blush crept across Anna's face.
"When I was overseas I went to this royal wedding, and it was all hushed up because the Princess was already pregnant. She was about as old as you. So that's what I thought was going on here."
"How old do you think I am?" Anna inquired as Kristoff sunk into his seat.
"14, maybe 15." Hertha shrugged. "But that doesn't matter right now. I don't know about you guys but I'm exhausted."
"That sounds like a great idea! Yes, let's all go to bed and we'll pick up where we left off tomorrow morning." Kristoff announced, taking Anna's hand and standing up. "Elsa will find you a bedroom, Hertha. Goodnight!"
With that, the young couple sped out of the kitchen and up the stairs, seeking refuge in the bedroom that they shared. Kristoff collapsed on the bed, mentally worn out. Anna was looking over her belly in the mirror curiously, holding her stomach as if she was evaluating herself.
"I don't think I look like I'm 14 years old." Anna said rather seriously after studying herself in the mirror for a few minutes.
"No, you're definitely a woman of many more years than that." Kristoff smirked, staring at the ceiling.
"And I know I've put on some weight, but that's because I've been stress eating. Not because I'm pregnant." Anna started, confidently. But upon thinking about it, she wondered if that had been completely true. She threw herself backwards onto the bed next to Kristoff.
"Or am I actually pregnant? I don't think I can be, I mean we've done everything right..." She started to worry aloud.
"You, my dear, are not pregnant." Kristoff assured her.
"Kristoff, honey, I love you but your sister-"
"Yeah, I know. Don't worry though, she's just trying to get in your head now. Later she'll readjust to human life and it will be okay." Kristoff sighed, getting off the bed only to crawl under the sheets. Anna moved to her half of the bed. "Or she'll finally snap and we're all going to die."
"Oh god."
Elsa found herself alone with Hertha, and while Hertha seemed like great fun to be around, Elsa was really tired. She didn't speak as she lead Hertha up the stairs and showed her to one of the guest wings in one of the more empty halls. Hertha thanked Elsa, and Elsa went off to her own room and slept, hoping that it was all just a dream.
