This type of self-indulgent story has been in the making for quite some time. I don't expect it to be popular, but I'll upload it anyway for me.
They exchanged phone numbers so quickly no one else even noticed. And Kenma personally made sure of that, though he was also pretty sure that it had slipped past Shouyou's notice too. That was okay though, because otherwise it would've been a very awkward three minutes of clammy hands – they were always like that when he was nervous, which he thought happened way too often – uneven breaths, and attempts at reminding himself to try and be normal. It was still awkward, but not as awkward as it could have been. The last part went about as well as it usually did, and Kenma had already managed to convince himself Shouyou only tolerated him for one reason.
'That boy is almost as sunny as his name,' Kenma thought, a couple seconds too late to realize how horrible and cliché that was. 'If not slightly oblivious.'
At that point, Kenma decided Shouyou was not only a nice guy, but possibly a stupid guy. How many other strangers put up with Kenma and his trembling hands, wavering voice – the shy kid who preferred to sit in the back of the room and play video games while pretending he didn't want to be noticed. He didn't know why Shouyou's opinions mattered so much either, unless it had something to do with the fact that Shouyou was the boy who'd forced him to realize he maybe sort of cared about volleyball more than he wanted to admit after all. Not even Kuroo had been able to do that.
And, well, thinking of Kuroo...
For some reason, he didn't want Kuroo to find out. His best friend made fun of enough already, in a teasing way, sure, but that didn't make it any less embarrassing. He didn't believe Kenma was capable of making friends on his own, outside of his school's volleyball club and the people Kuroo introduced him to – but maybe he was wrong. Even though, by Kenma's estimate, it was more difficult than necessary.
And Kuroo could definitely still tease him about it, probably would by claiming he was finally coming out of his cocoon or something like that.
"Hey, Kenma, you gonna grow wings next? You're becoming such a social butterfly." Yeah, probably something stupid. Just like that.
Busy inputting Shouyou's phone number into his own phone, and totally not imagining Kuroo's voice in his head, Kenma fumbled. Accidentally hit the wrong button, well aware that the 'Oh, crap!' his brain is shouted and the way his heart rate shot up wasn't normal, even if it did make Kuroo shut up. The heat rising to his face was not normal. The way imaginary Kuroo had been teasing him about wanting to make kissy faces with Shouyou was awkward, but... probably not normal. At least, that was the kind of reaction that Kenma would have definitely liked to avoid in real life. He insisted that he wasn't interested in anyone like that.
He was drowning in an ocean of thoughts, until Shouyou pulled him back out with a couple of words – "Gimme that" he demanded, snatching Kenma's phone right out of his hands.
"We're going to be here all day at this rate," Shouyou mumbled, tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth slightly.
It was almost comical for him to look like he needed that much concentration to input a phone number, but then again, Kenma knew he'd likely spent five minutes staring without accomplishing the same feat.
Coming from Shouyou, the urgency didn't sound so bad. Kenma didn't flinch, because the other boy's tone of voice miraculously lacked impatience. On top of that, Shouyou barely sounded like someone who'd recently stolen a phone out of its owner's hands without asking permission first.
Once he returned it, Kenma made an off-hand note that even though he'd brushed hands with Kuroo and a few other people before, the sort of tingling sensation he received from Shouyou's is foreign. Seconds later he could still feel the ends of Shouyou's fingers dragging across the back of his hand, and felt it could've continued for an for an eternity even though Shouyou was already halfway to his team and waving "good bye" over his shoulder. It's also stupid and Kenma felt stupid and as he stared at his hand and his cellphone wondered why until he thinks he finally understood.
After solving that mystery, the only one left was figuring out whether or not he minded. He was actually glad Shouyou was going back home after all, giving himself time to think.
X
What's up?" Kenma texted.
It was practically made it a goal by now, texting Shouyou as often as possible without appearing clingy, because his replies were always so full of life and energy that it warmed him up inside. Or maybe that was on account of the persistent crush he had. Either way, Kenma was even more certain that it was a crush, despite still having no idea what to do about it.
Not a fluke or a misinterpretation of his own feelings – as he'd twice concluded about similar circumstances in the past while talking to Kuroo. Both times were awkward enough that Kenma was reluctant about putting himself through it again, but since Kuroo was the only person he could trust about these things, it was most likely going to happen sooner or later.
Plus, it had already lasted longer than he'd expected it to. Three months. Any longer, and Kenma was going to start worrying about it being more than a crush.
Shouyou's response arrived just a few seconds short of three minutes, and it sort of surprised Kenma while making him happy at the same time – he'd actually expected it to be Kuroo, since he used the same generic ring tone for all his contacts.
"got home from practice not watching natsu tongiht. noya and tanaka did the funniest thing at practice tho! how about u?"
Kenma sent him what he thought was the expected response, a brief message asking what the second years had done this time. Then he answered Shouyou's question with a single word , "homework", and hit the send button even though he was technically lying now. The worksheets and notebooks on his desk hadn't been cleared away, no – but they would undoubtedly go ignored for a while now.
Single word answers didn't seemed to bother Shouyou in most cases. Then again, it wasn't like he had anything worth sharing. His life just wasn't as interesting as Shouyou's was. And the few interesting things that did happen... Oh btw Kuroo saw me texting you again today and asked if i'd gotten a gf or something! Can you believe that-
Yeah, no.
True story, but it was never going to happen – he cut the thought off right there. Shouyou wouldn't have appreciated it and it hadn't been funny to begin with.
A few seconds later, another reply appeared in his in-box.
The excuse Kenma had eventually given Kuroo was that he'd found a penpal. Through the internet. He'd been trying too hard though, his lie especially obvious just because it was Kuroo, but he'd adamantly refused to give out any more details than that.
Not really.
"Where are they from?"
It would have been nice to say something like America or New Zealand, something far away, but that would've been digging himself into a hole that Kenma knew he couldn't get out of. So he answered honestly instead, "From here in Japan."
"Guy or girl?" he asked next, casually.
"Um, guy."
"Does he play volleyball?"
"...No."
He felt like he'd gotten a little too close to losing a secret today, and was more than happy to put those thoughts away for now in favor of hearing about Shouyou's life instead.
X
Something shocked Kenma back to reality. It was Kuroo's pointer finger jabbing him in the forehead.
"Jeez, you could at least have the decency to look surprised," Kuroo muttered, because of course Kenma had been too engrossed in his new game, and of course that hadn't meant Kenma had nearly jumped out of his seat as a result. "Did you hear what I said or were you too busy playing space adventurer?"
Kuroo wasn't referring to his game, obviously – it was about demon slayers, not even space-related. A bit annoyed, he reluctantly pressed the pause button – only to remember it was the type of game where "pausing" brought up a command menu, and was forced to put the handheld into sleep mode instead.
"Um, sorry, could you repeat..."
"Let me borrow your phone. I forgot to charge mine last night, but I gotta text my mom anyway and tell her I'll be coming home late today. You know, she's got that new job. So I should probably tell her that I'll be buying dinner again-"
"Third night in a row," Kenma interrupted unhelpfully, though he was a bit grumpy over the loss of his distraction.
"-before she finds out herself."
"If you really wanted to," Kenma surmised, "you could probably get home half an hour before she does and still have time to throw something together."
Surprisingly, Kuroo wasn't a bad cook. He even dragged Kenma over to his house sometimes – completely uncalled for, by the way, because every time Kuroo insisted it was because he didn't eat enough. That left him with some very pressing concerns about whether Kuroo was his friend or his babysitter. (They always went away eventually, because he whined like a three year old when he lost to Kenma at video games.)
"Or we could both get takeout," Kuroo insisted, holding his hand out impatiently.
With something halfway between a sigh and a scowl, Kenma fished his phone out of his pocket. "Whatever," he grumbled, more interested in going back to his game than listening to Kuroo's attempt at logic when there was only ten minutes left before his mother came home and started yelling for him to do homework. He could kill this demon in about eight, if Kuroo didn't bother him again.
Besides, Kuroo had been his best friend since they were the size of lawn gnomes. He also refused to let himself be as paranoid over Shouyou. It was inevitable, with the passing of time – he'd either had to relax eventually or he would've made himself sick from worrying all the time, and he hadn't liked the worrying much to begin with.
"Watcha playing?"
"New monster hunting game," Kenma mumbled, never taking his eyes off the screen.
He'd decided to try something new for a change – the series wasn't that old. It was easier than his current favorite game in the genre though. It also had more feudal Japan, more demons, and worse equipment, while being a little repetitive, but the combat was fast-paced and fluid so he'd been absorbed by it anyway. Of the nine weapon types, so far he'd only tried out three. Games like these always provided the best lull, a complete absence of time where he didn't have to think as much because his mind was blessedly occupied, and that was probably why he played games so often in the first place.
But not much later something became clear, something not even the presence of a good video game is enough to veil – the obvious, uncomfortable lack of texting Kuroo's doing. The little "aha!" sound Kuroo made gave him away before Kenma quite figured out what was going on, and he waved the phone with his usual cheesy, self-accomplished grin. "That text buddy you've told me about earlier is someone from Karasuno, right?"
Kenma's mouth ran dry, thoughts blurring together. This was... decidedly much worse than the last two times he ended up asking Kuroo about a potential crush.
He didn't have the self-awareness to contemplate how ironic it was that while his mind operated in slow motion, the rest of him seemed to react instantly. Stomach churning. Palms sweating. Kenma dropped his handheld on reflex, luck that it wasn't a very long fall from his hands to his bed.
Then he forced himself to swallow. So what if Kuroo knew about "someone from Karasuno"? Big deal. That didn't mean he knew everything.
"Yes."
"It's that little orange-haired shorty, isn't it?"
That the moment Kenma's brain nearly shut down, the factory lights going out like a flame. Kenma was not nervous anymore, not on any scale that he can register. Because everything else had disappeared instantly, leaving only the slow sensation of blood draining out of his face, and it wouldn't come back until his thoughts manage to catch up again. It was probably what being an hourglass would feel like.
Despite having no idea how he should've responded to that, he suddenly felt like he was forced to once Kuroo began tapping away at his cellphone. He wasn't not fast enough to beat Kuroo though.
"I saw you waving to him before they left. Like a 'good bye' wave. Really surprised me there, kid."
Automatically, Kenma protested, "You're not that much older than me."
The grin Kuroo flashed him informed him that he'd fallen into a trap. Even though that small distraction had also calmed him down quite a bit, enough for Kuroo to assume he'd be able to talk freely again.
"Anyway, is it possible you're into dudes?" So blunt.
"What makes you think that?" Kenma hissed.
His voice may have sounded about the same as usual, only slightly strained, but internally he was still a panicked mess. Reviewing every little thing he'd said or done that might have given Kuroo a clue, worrying about whether or not he'd done something to make anyone else suspicious...
"Well, you're not denying it."
Only because Kenma himself wasn't certain. At least he knew Kuroo wouldn't have minded if he was now – if he'd still had any doubts from before, back when they'd been trying to decide whether he'd only liked Harumi or like-liked her. And again with Yui, when Kuroo had originally mentioned being gay it as a possibility.
His eyes flicked back to his phone just long enough to wonder if he didn't have bigger problems to be worrying about right then, like whatever the hell Kuroo was busy writing. "Don't do that," Kenma muttered, but Kuroo began to unwittingly talk over him the same instant he opened his mouth.
"I guess he's pretty cute, for a guy. I guess – did you ever consider the possibility that you're just asexual?"
"What?"
"Like, you're not interested in boys or girls. I did some research."
Kenma frowned. 'That was a possibility?'
"I don't know, I think maybe I do like Shouyou..."
Even as he said that, his frown deepened. He liked Shouyou, sure, but how much? The type of locker room comments his teammates exchanged about their crushes – would he ever feel that way about Shouyou?
Kuroo tossed the phone back on his bed. The first thing Kenma did was check his text history with Shouyou. Surprisingly, there was nothing new on it. All Kuroo had done, however, was leave a bookmark for a site about asexuality in his web browser.
"Do you?" Kuroo asked, pure inquisition and not a hint of judgement.
"I guess."
"It's okay to be unsure."
'Unsure' described his current situation fairly well.
Was it a crush or a squish?
