Contains Explicit Content. Read at your own risk. Please do not read if you are not 18+.
It was often two in the morning when Commander woke up. It was never much of a surprise to him anymore. Restlessness seemed to be a frequency and, as the years went by, he found it harder and harder to go back to sleep.
Why exactly he couldn't settle back down had been a mystery for the first few months it started happening. But after lying awake, night after night, waiting for sleep to envelope him once more he reached two conclusions: 1) The bed was not as comfortable as it used to be and he needed to call the mattress store up town. 2) He was lonely.
The first problem was easily remedied. The second stunned him. The concept was difficult for Commander to understand. He slept in a room with three other men and a robot. He hung out with these same guys all the time. He and his team did rad things just about every single day. He was a hip and devastatingly handsome person. He was the leader of the Aquabats!
So how, when in the company of his four best friends and comrades, could he feel lonely? But, there was no other word for it. There was stiffness inside his chest that would cause long forgotten memories to return to him. And no other soul on the tram could soothe those wounds; they were all asleep.
He found his mind wandering to places it had not been in a long, long time. He contemplated simple things like the feel of holding someone through the night or the gentle touch of a hand. But he also found himself contemplating more complicated things. And once in a great while these complicated things would make themselves known in complicated ways. Such as a pitched tent.
On those nights he would have to push himself out of bed, walk down the hallway on the cold, metal floors of the Battletram, and beat himself off in the bathroom. It was neither pretty nor satisfying. As he washed his sticky hands in the sink he would look at himself in the mirror and take note of the circles beneath his eyes, and the sprouting crow's feet on either side. Then he would go back to his bed and wait, sometimes hours, to fall back asleep.
At night everything seemed a bleak existence, but when he woke up in the morning he rarely felt the same way as he had the previous night. There was something about the sun and the atmosphere around him that always made him forget, and he wanted to forget. The MC Bat Commander would walk towards danger with no fear, and push ever forwards into victory. He would save his doubts for his uncomfortable bed, and save his wants for the bathroom down the cold metal hallway.
This was his life.
Commander woke up to his cock throbbing. It didn't happen often, maybe about once every two weeks but it still aggravated him. He felt like some kind of teenager. it was annoying having to cater to his needs so frequently. He supposed he could just leave it; he had supposed this many times and prayed it would just ebb away like morning wood. The issue was that when he tried to do this he ended up staying awake all night. Long after he went flaccid he found himself staring at the ceiling until the sun came up.
It was merely a matter of convenience. Walk to the bathroom and jerk one off so he could fall asleep quicker, or stay awake all night and spend the entirety of the next day off kilter. In the life he led, it was never a good idea to have an off-day on any given day. So he dealt with himself quickly and grumbled about it later.
Commander rolled over, climbed out of bed, and slipped on his slippers. As he made his way to the hall he passed his other teammates asleep in their beds. Crash's teddy bear was hanging precariously close to the edge of the bunk. Commander repositioned it as he passed. The room hummed with gentle breathing and, in the case of Eaglebones, a snore. But the hum was broken when Commander reached the door.
"Are you okay, Commander?"
Commander turned to see Jimmy, eyes aglow, staring at him from the chair at the back of the room. Jimmy's question was not infrequent. Just about every other time Commander left to take care of himself, Jimmy made his voice heard. How he was able to suddenly pull himself out of hibernation mode was anyone's guess.
Commander nodded without looking at Jimmy and pressed the hatch key to open the door.
"Bathroom, Robot, Bathroom." He mumbled, and walked out into the dark hallway.
Once in the bathroom, he began his custom. The toilet seat and lid were slapped down so he could sit. He folded a towel for back support and placed it along the tank of the toilet. The slippers came off and his toes found the rug. Once the seating arrangements pleased him, he spat in his hand and stuffed it down his pants.
He wanted to get the whole thing over with, but he didn't think he could deny that he enjoyed being a little rough with himself. He went fast at first, his spit slicking his cock. He curled his hand into a fist and pumped rapidly, feeling the heat swell from his groin up into his stomach and chest. He wondered briefly why he didn't enjoy masturbating, but this small thought was lost in his growing pleasure.
After a short time his arm started to get tired and he was beginning to feel breathless. Commander closed his eyes and tilted his head back. He pumped himself slower, but tugged with a tighter grip, curving his fist up and over the head of his cock for some added pleasure.
His mind wandered. It always did at that stage in his routine. He would see naked women from porn magazines he had had many years ago. Sometimes he would see Lizzie, Geraldine, or Roxanne. Other times he would see Theo or Jack. All people he had known and loved throughout his life but had left behind to pursue his own needs, his own dreams. It would all float around in his head until he decided to latch onto something.
But he couldn't find anything. Everything had been touched upon time and time again. There was no life to anything. Commander squeezed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate on touching himself, but his focus just wasn't going to cut it, he needed something more.
He fished around in his memory franticly and settled on Geraldine, his old college sweetheart. The best blowjob he had ever gotten was from her. He watched in his mind's eye as she got down on her knees in front of him.
She smirked up at him in that sly way he always remembered. Then she moved in on him, taking his dick in her mouth and teasing him gently with her tongue.
Commander sighed and tried to imitate her tongue movements with his thumb against the head of his cock. She went down on him then, enveloping him in a heat that made him groan. She took him in to the hilt and held him there, gently rolling her tongue along the underside of his cock. She didn't move, she just kept herself in place. The heat from her mouth was hard enough to endure but he couldn't stand her not moving. She knew it too. She had always known those little things that made him squirm.
And then suddenly all Commander could think about was her smile whenever he said something funny and how he had always felt a little proud of himself every time he had made her laugh. He remembered her soft kiss on the nape of his neck when they cuddled together at the movie theater. He remembered the look in her eye she got after every time they had sex. It was an indescribable expression, like she thought he could do no wrong. She had loved him so much, but she couldn't cope with his obsessions about rock bands and superheroes. She couldn't understand why he was so set on his "unrealistic" goals.
Commander still wasn't sure who broke it off first. There was so much fighting and pain between them when it ended. But he did know that she had loved him. Even if it was only for those brief years they spent together, she had indeed loved him.
Commander had stopped touching himself. He felt absolutely discouraged. He knew there would never be another time in his life when someone would look at him that way. Was the realization of his only dream really worth being as alone as he was now, masturbating on the toilet?
He looked down at his cock, which was already half flaccid. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of the night if he went back to bed now. He just needed to get it over with. He didn't have anything left in his head to keep going, but he knew he couldn't just sit there with his dick in his hand and mope.
Then, an idea occurred to him.
The concept was harmless really. It wouldn't hurt anyone. With no one left to offer him a romantic relationship, why not push the border between friends and lovers just a little?
Commander took his cock in his hand again, stroking softly. He imagined Geraldine again, her face between his legs, her bobbing up and down. Then, Commander tentatively switched her face with Crash's. It wasn't difficult to do, he saw Crash every day. He looked down at Crash's bulky form and saw the other man's eyebrows knitted together in concentration. Commander pumped himself a little faster, but it only took him a few seconds to realize that this was doing nothing for him. He let his hand rest while he thought of something else.
His first boyfriend, Theo came to mind. Theo had been rather small and gangly and had let Commander fuck him hard over the railing of his apartment's balcony. He imagined Eaglebones in this position, moaning loudly, his long hair blowing around in the wind. Commander tried to imagine what Eaglebones' voice would sound like when he was being pounded into, but the outcome was less than satisfying.
He was becoming discouraged. He thought again for a moment, leaning back against the toilet and closing his eyes. He imagined walking back through the metal hallway to the bedroom; Imagined opening the door and being greeted by a glowing pair of eyes.
Jimmy stood and walked over to Commander, pushing him against the wall of the room and grabbing firmly at his balls. Commander felt a pang in his belly, and a rush of heat to his groin. This was what he had been looking for.
Jimmy wasn't one for foreplay as he pulled up on commander's shirt and pressed his cold hand to his superior's belly. Commander shivered as the hand slid down below his waistline. Jimmy found his erect cock and smirked in a way Commander found intimidatingly hot.
Jimmy started stroking his cold hand over Commander's cock; the heat and friction between the two of them turning the metal warm.
Commander licked his hand again and began sliding it up and down his cock in a way he thought only Jimmy would do. Jimmy, with his painful sentimentality, would want everything to be drawn out. He would want commander to feel every slight movement.
Commander squeezed his cock hard and went slow, painfully slow. The thought of Jimmy's eye on him only made the burn worse. He was breathless and gritted his teeth.
Jimmy bent in close to Commander's face and whispered in his ear.
"Do you like that, Commander?"
The sheer thought of this was all commander could take. He cupped his balls and went at himself with no mercy. His hand was a blur of movement as he panted, pushing himself closer and closer to the edge.
Commander buried the head of his cock in toilet paper as he came. It caught the spurts of cum as he stared, dumbfounded, at the bathroom ceiling. He sat on the toilet for a long time, much longer than he did on a usual night. The image of Jimmy's intent face was still burned into the forefront of his mind. Why had Commander not thought of that before? Jimmy was absolutely perfect.
Finally Commander managed to tear his eyes from the ceiling and look down at himself. In one hand was his limp cock. In the other was a sticky wad of toilet paper. His pants had pushed themselves down past his ass and his shirt had decided to ride up his chest. He was covered in sweat, and cold from it.
He felt disgusted with himself. Of all the things he could have imagined, it had to have been Jimmy. Jimmy, one of the most vulnerable guys on the team. The one person with whom he had the closest relationship.
The Robot had done something for him where others failed apparently. Commander had always liked Jimmy a lot, but he had never realized quite how much. But, after it was all over, Commander felt only disappointment in himself. Jimmy didn't deserve to be sexualized.
Commander went back to bed that night with a sick feeling in his gut. He wondered, when the time came that he would need relief again, if he would use Jimmy in his fantasies? Knowing himself, Commander knew that his post-orgasm self was much stronger than his pre-orgasm. He couldn't guarantee to himself that Jimmy wouldn't become another item.
He did, however, know one thing for sure when he woke up in the morning: he had had the best night's sleep in weeks thanks to that Robot.
