Author's Note: I've succumbed in the end… I wrote something for the one fandom I swore to myself never to write about (and I broke the rule to write an Mpreg, no less…).
But, I have to plead my case, because I happened to see the second official trailer of Eclipse the other day, and I just couldn't help myself… I just want to say I'm sorry if this seems disrespectful to you devoted fans out there.
I also apologize for the inaccuracy of the characters portrayal, but I have a limited knowledge of the saga, and I haven't read a single line of the books (I do believe they must be amazing, but it's just not my genre). This being the situation, I have to say as well that I have just the faintest idea of what happens before or after the scene I'm about to write.
I assure you that this little piece of…fanfic (if it can thus be labeled) was not intended to make fun of the saga, or of you fans, but, once again, that trailer took out my inner slasher (those lines were too inviting…), and I could not stop picturing the scene. Please, try to read it with an open, humorous mind and don't flame me, for I'm a very sensitive person.
Warnings (if you haven't already read the summary and the little introduction here above): this contains mentions of slash, and Mpreg - so I suggest you don't read it if you are a homophobic prude (and if you do read it anyway, please don't say I didn't warn you)…
Disclaimers: Everything belongs to the respective owners, I can only say with an adequate amount of certainty that I only own a cat (and that is questionable as well…)
On with the story…
A shocking piece of news
School had just finished that day, and Bella was heading home with her gorgeous boyfriend.
She still couldn't believe how lucky she was that such an amazing man - well, not truly a man, a vampire, but whatever (you can't look a given horse in the mouth) - had chosen her to be his companion.
But fact was that he had, and he never let a single moment pass without declaring his eternal devotion, his undying love for her.
They were about to get to the parking lot, when she saw her best friend Jacob approaching. He was the total opposite of Edward: he was tanned, muscled, passionate and fiery… well maybe the fact that he was also a werewolf did help these characteristics to emerge.
A vampire for a boyfriend… a werewolf for a best friend…For a second Bella almost wished her acquaintances would be more 'normal', but that thought died as soon as she saw Edward's loving eyes ablaze with golden strands.
She turned to the werewolf, surprised to see him there. "Jacob! What're you doing here?"
He barely acknowledged Edward's presence as he deadpanned: "I'm here to warn you."
The vampire stood before her, shielding her somehow.
"Just. Leave." He ordered, in a not very pleasant tone. "Now."
Jacob's deep eyes softened as they locked with the vampire's golden ones.
"She's a right to know", he said.
Bella was starting to get frightened. What did Jacob know? What was the secret Edward was so adamant in keeping from her? Was she in danger? Was he? But above all, why all the tension and animosity between those two seemed to have evaporated?
She searched her boyfriend's face for the truth, but he only averted his eyes, looking down guiltily.
Bella knew that Jacob would not deny her an explanation, especially if it could undermine her trust in the vampire, so she turned to face the werewolf.
"What?" She demanded. She needed to know.
Jacob's eyes had never left Edward, she realized. It was beginning to look as if she was transparent.
Her best friend continued his silent staring confrontation with Edward, until the vampire sighed in defeat, turning to look at Bella.
"What is it that I should know, Edward?" she asked again.
He opened his mouth to speak, only to close it a second after, seemingly unable to form the words.
In that moment, Jacob appeared behind him, and breathed in his ear: "Tell her now, or I will."
By then, Bella was totally confused. She began to get nervous.
But, before she could yell at them to stop the freaking show and just speak up, Edward was talking.
"Bella, I… I'm sorry," he began. "He is correct; you have a right to know, I can't continue to keep this secret. There's no way to break this gently, so I will tell you with the utmost sincerity."
He shared a look with the werewolf, who just nodded ahead.
"You see," he continued, "We're lovers, we have been for almost a year, and I'm expecting his child. I'm afraid I can't go on being your boyfriend. I'm also leaving school in a few weeks, and we are going to get married and live together, because we love each other very much. I hope we can still be friends, and that you won't object to be called 'auntie', or to baby-sit sometimes."
Bella stood for a second with her mouth wide agape. She hoped it was just a dream and that her father would come wake her up any moment.
Her gorgeous, unearthly handsome boyfriend had just said that he had been two-timing her for a year, he had broken up with her, declared to be gay, in love with her best friend, and to be a pregnant male, all in the span of ten seconds.
After a moment of utter shock, when betrayal and hurt threatened to overwhelm her, she looked at them. It was like a veil had been lifted off her eyes. Edward was a gay vampire, in love with his arch-nemesis, who also happened to be a werewolf. Oh, the irony. She breathed a sigh of relief, then began to laugh. So, that explained many things about him…especially the frilly love declarations. She would have gone mad, if she was to listen to those sappy words for all eternity.
Edward and Jacob stood there, bewildered, as they watched their friend rolling on the floor, pointing at them and laughing, until she recomposed herself and, without a glance back, she left them in the middle of the parking lot.
The end.
