FIC: Realizations in the City Of Angels
Author: Jodine
Disclaimer: If I owned Angel or any of the characters in it.do you think id be writing fanfics? I think not!!
Pairing: C/A Shipper All The Way
Spoilers: Well if you watch Angel.you'd know them all already.
Feedback: Yes please I'm a CC(constructive criticism) & PC(positive comments) - Aholic
Dedications & ThankYou's: I would like to say thank you to Chocoholic for her review. Hopefully I'll add a new chapter soon. But I'd like to say an even bigger thank you to Dilkara, I read it through and realised it was hard to understand (Doyle's part anyway) Hopefully it will be easier to read now.
Angel stared out onto the city, he could see bright lights covering his home in almost a blanket, and the sky was clear showing a scattering of stars. Sighing he put his hands into the pockets of his duster, and swung his legs over the ledge. Closing his eyes, and taking a gasp of breath he didn't need he could almost imagine her there with him, her hands entwined with his and her vanilla scented smell embracing him. Sensing a presence he skillfully turned to look at the roof behind him, finding nothing he swiveled his head and with a gasp found his friend sat next to him.
"Are you real?" Angel asked unsure at what he was seeing.
"Nah. I'm too handsome to be real". The figure replied with a cheerful grin, he too had his legs dangling over the edge.
"We miss you." Angel spoke quickly; it was a plain, simple ordinary comment that held emotion that had been needed to be expressed for a long time.
"An' I miss you. But you have a mission in life now Angel. Your shanshu, yer destiny an' everything you have worked for these last few years 'ere in L.A. Everything you have ever possibly dreamed of will 'appen 'ere, if you succeed, if yer do what the powers want yer ter do."
Angel shook his head, "The powers are dead, i dont deserve anything."
"Do yer remember how an old sayin' goes Angel? It starts. "There 'as ter be evil-"
"- so that good can prove its purity above it!" Angel finished.
"Aye. You see, there is evil in everyone of us, but sometimes that evil is let out an' allowed ter be the master over the good. Just like when yer were Angelus, that was evil, but now you are Angel an' Angel is good. Yet still in yourself as Angel yer 'av the demon, yer 'av the evil, yet yer fight it every day, you conquer it an' you carry on. An' one day, one day soon, that goodness will be rewarded an' yer shall be forever good, forever pure. That day will be yer shanshu Angel."
Angel sat in silence taking in his words, "Im alone Doyle." He said finally.
"Yer cannot be lonely if yer like the person you're alone with." Doyle replied knowing.
"I love her Doyle, i love her so much it hurts to think. But she doesnt love me back."
"Y'know i reckon Cordy was rite all those times!" Doyle said slowly
"Right? Right about what?" Angel asked
"Yer a dumbass!"
"Sorry?"
"Yer 'eard me, yer a great big non-alive vampire with a soul, broody-boy, nightwalker, dumbass."
"Doyle?" Angel said, but Doyle stopped him.
"Don't yer dare Angel, don't yer dare. I left 'er at the very moment i should av been with 'er. I left 'er so that she'd 'av a future, an' yer bleedin well messin' it up. Big style." The dead half demon replied.
"I can't help the way I feel." Angel muttered.
"No angel yer not gettin' the point, the future for Cordelia was with you. I left cos i knew, jeez just look at yer both an' yer can tell. When yer together its like yer both in on one big secret an' no one else is allowed in. When yer together yer both make each other feel whole, feel 'appy. The trouble is Angel, she don't know an' guess who's fault 'tis again. Yers, its yer fault. Yer see, yer forgettin' the basic rule of love. People are not gonna love yer unless yer love them. Meanin' unless yer get over this broody-boy vampire with a soul act, she's never gonna know that you love 'er. An' yer never gonna find out what could av been, an' believe me angel you'll end up regrettin' it. So i'm sorry about the way yer feel angel, cos i know that if yer telk 'er that yer love 'er, maybe just she might turn 'round an' say that she loves yer too."
Doyle turned back to look at the city he had been gone from for two years.
Angel sighed, "Its not that simple!"
"What's not?" Angel heard a voice but it wasn't Doyle's, because Doyle wasn't there, not on earth anyway, and Angel had a sneaky suspicion than somehow it had all been set up.
"Angel?" He heard that voice again, that sweet, calm, caring, gentle, reassuring voice that came from the girl he was in love with.
"It doesn't matter Cordy." He replied not bothering to turn round, knowing that she was still there.
"It always matters Angel, maybe it isn't as big or as small as other things that happens, but it always matters. Everything that happens matters to someone in someway." she said walking towards him until she reached his side.
Angel sighed, she always made so much sense and now he could sense that she was beside him. He could smell her, hear her heart beat and he could almost, just almost feel her.
"Where's Groo?" Angel almost growled.
"He left." Cordelia replied sitting next to him on the ledge.
"Gone to your apartment?" Angel questioned, although there couldn't really be a different answer.
"No, he's left, for good." there was a different answer, yet she still didn't seem upset.
"Why?" Angel asked then realization sunk in, "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow." Cordelia replied, "After I've packed."
"Has he asked you to marry him?"
"Who? Groo?" Cordelia said with surprise.
"Yes, your going to be with him, so has he asked you?"
"Angel I'm not going to be with Groo. Yes, he asked me to marry him but I said no." Cordelia replied with a sad smile.
"Then why are you leaving?" He turned to face her, his face full of confusion.
It was her time to sigh, "Its complicated."
"So...I'm the king of complication, explain."
"I have too, because of me and because of you."
"Wasn't expecting that, thought you said it was complicated?"
"It is."
"Why?"
"It doesn't matter, but I'm leaving, going back to Sunnydale to tie up a few loose ends and then I'm outta here." She stood and with a small smile acknowledged that he was where he belonged, yet there was no place for her with him.
He stood up after her, "Cor-"
She silenced him quickly, "I came to say goodbye Angel, and if you say anything else I'll never be able to leave. Just let me leave without having to cry."
She walked quickly to the other side of the roof, and under her breath whispered the only words she had left to say to her best friend.
He stayed standing and watched her leave, slipping gracefully behind the door, down the stairs and into the darkness of his city. He heard her try to close the front door and quietly as possible, so not to disturb the others and after that he could sense her no longer.
"Damn..."Angel ran a hand through his hair and harshly cursed himself under the moonlight.
"Jeez man, really know 'ow ter make 'em cry for yer, don't yer?" Angel immediately knew Doyle had returned. "What am I going to do?" He asked unable to move.
"Me reccomendashun would be a stake through the 'eart, quite painless, or so I've 'eard." Doyle tried to make light of the situation, then realizing Angel really didn't know what to do continued, "Ar' yer serious? She's just said no ter Groo, that means she's either takin' after another one of de slayer's friends, lookin' for a job as a nun or she might just 'av feelings for yer. "
"What? Oh you mean Willow. OH! No, no way." Angel stuttered taking in what Doyle was saying and understanding the truth behind what he was saying, "Damn! I let her walk."
"So now the man gets it, jeez giv' the dumbass a medal. Ah an' Angel yer might just want ter-. " Doyle said but before he could finish, the door to the stairs was flung open and Angel was gone.
"Run." Doyle finished and with a smile he was gone, leaving the roof that looked out onto the city of Angels silent once more.
Author: Jodine
Disclaimer: If I owned Angel or any of the characters in it.do you think id be writing fanfics? I think not!!
Pairing: C/A Shipper All The Way
Spoilers: Well if you watch Angel.you'd know them all already.
Feedback: Yes please I'm a CC(constructive criticism) & PC(positive comments) - Aholic
Dedications & ThankYou's: I would like to say thank you to Chocoholic for her review. Hopefully I'll add a new chapter soon. But I'd like to say an even bigger thank you to Dilkara, I read it through and realised it was hard to understand (Doyle's part anyway) Hopefully it will be easier to read now.
Angel stared out onto the city, he could see bright lights covering his home in almost a blanket, and the sky was clear showing a scattering of stars. Sighing he put his hands into the pockets of his duster, and swung his legs over the ledge. Closing his eyes, and taking a gasp of breath he didn't need he could almost imagine her there with him, her hands entwined with his and her vanilla scented smell embracing him. Sensing a presence he skillfully turned to look at the roof behind him, finding nothing he swiveled his head and with a gasp found his friend sat next to him.
"Are you real?" Angel asked unsure at what he was seeing.
"Nah. I'm too handsome to be real". The figure replied with a cheerful grin, he too had his legs dangling over the edge.
"We miss you." Angel spoke quickly; it was a plain, simple ordinary comment that held emotion that had been needed to be expressed for a long time.
"An' I miss you. But you have a mission in life now Angel. Your shanshu, yer destiny an' everything you have worked for these last few years 'ere in L.A. Everything you have ever possibly dreamed of will 'appen 'ere, if you succeed, if yer do what the powers want yer ter do."
Angel shook his head, "The powers are dead, i dont deserve anything."
"Do yer remember how an old sayin' goes Angel? It starts. "There 'as ter be evil-"
"- so that good can prove its purity above it!" Angel finished.
"Aye. You see, there is evil in everyone of us, but sometimes that evil is let out an' allowed ter be the master over the good. Just like when yer were Angelus, that was evil, but now you are Angel an' Angel is good. Yet still in yourself as Angel yer 'av the demon, yer 'av the evil, yet yer fight it every day, you conquer it an' you carry on. An' one day, one day soon, that goodness will be rewarded an' yer shall be forever good, forever pure. That day will be yer shanshu Angel."
Angel sat in silence taking in his words, "Im alone Doyle." He said finally.
"Yer cannot be lonely if yer like the person you're alone with." Doyle replied knowing.
"I love her Doyle, i love her so much it hurts to think. But she doesnt love me back."
"Y'know i reckon Cordy was rite all those times!" Doyle said slowly
"Right? Right about what?" Angel asked
"Yer a dumbass!"
"Sorry?"
"Yer 'eard me, yer a great big non-alive vampire with a soul, broody-boy, nightwalker, dumbass."
"Doyle?" Angel said, but Doyle stopped him.
"Don't yer dare Angel, don't yer dare. I left 'er at the very moment i should av been with 'er. I left 'er so that she'd 'av a future, an' yer bleedin well messin' it up. Big style." The dead half demon replied.
"I can't help the way I feel." Angel muttered.
"No angel yer not gettin' the point, the future for Cordelia was with you. I left cos i knew, jeez just look at yer both an' yer can tell. When yer together its like yer both in on one big secret an' no one else is allowed in. When yer together yer both make each other feel whole, feel 'appy. The trouble is Angel, she don't know an' guess who's fault 'tis again. Yers, its yer fault. Yer see, yer forgettin' the basic rule of love. People are not gonna love yer unless yer love them. Meanin' unless yer get over this broody-boy vampire with a soul act, she's never gonna know that you love 'er. An' yer never gonna find out what could av been, an' believe me angel you'll end up regrettin' it. So i'm sorry about the way yer feel angel, cos i know that if yer telk 'er that yer love 'er, maybe just she might turn 'round an' say that she loves yer too."
Doyle turned back to look at the city he had been gone from for two years.
Angel sighed, "Its not that simple!"
"What's not?" Angel heard a voice but it wasn't Doyle's, because Doyle wasn't there, not on earth anyway, and Angel had a sneaky suspicion than somehow it had all been set up.
"Angel?" He heard that voice again, that sweet, calm, caring, gentle, reassuring voice that came from the girl he was in love with.
"It doesn't matter Cordy." He replied not bothering to turn round, knowing that she was still there.
"It always matters Angel, maybe it isn't as big or as small as other things that happens, but it always matters. Everything that happens matters to someone in someway." she said walking towards him until she reached his side.
Angel sighed, she always made so much sense and now he could sense that she was beside him. He could smell her, hear her heart beat and he could almost, just almost feel her.
"Where's Groo?" Angel almost growled.
"He left." Cordelia replied sitting next to him on the ledge.
"Gone to your apartment?" Angel questioned, although there couldn't really be a different answer.
"No, he's left, for good." there was a different answer, yet she still didn't seem upset.
"Why?" Angel asked then realization sunk in, "When are you leaving?"
"Tomorrow." Cordelia replied, "After I've packed."
"Has he asked you to marry him?"
"Who? Groo?" Cordelia said with surprise.
"Yes, your going to be with him, so has he asked you?"
"Angel I'm not going to be with Groo. Yes, he asked me to marry him but I said no." Cordelia replied with a sad smile.
"Then why are you leaving?" He turned to face her, his face full of confusion.
It was her time to sigh, "Its complicated."
"So...I'm the king of complication, explain."
"I have too, because of me and because of you."
"Wasn't expecting that, thought you said it was complicated?"
"It is."
"Why?"
"It doesn't matter, but I'm leaving, going back to Sunnydale to tie up a few loose ends and then I'm outta here." She stood and with a small smile acknowledged that he was where he belonged, yet there was no place for her with him.
He stood up after her, "Cor-"
She silenced him quickly, "I came to say goodbye Angel, and if you say anything else I'll never be able to leave. Just let me leave without having to cry."
She walked quickly to the other side of the roof, and under her breath whispered the only words she had left to say to her best friend.
He stayed standing and watched her leave, slipping gracefully behind the door, down the stairs and into the darkness of his city. He heard her try to close the front door and quietly as possible, so not to disturb the others and after that he could sense her no longer.
"Damn..."Angel ran a hand through his hair and harshly cursed himself under the moonlight.
"Jeez man, really know 'ow ter make 'em cry for yer, don't yer?" Angel immediately knew Doyle had returned. "What am I going to do?" He asked unable to move.
"Me reccomendashun would be a stake through the 'eart, quite painless, or so I've 'eard." Doyle tried to make light of the situation, then realizing Angel really didn't know what to do continued, "Ar' yer serious? She's just said no ter Groo, that means she's either takin' after another one of de slayer's friends, lookin' for a job as a nun or she might just 'av feelings for yer. "
"What? Oh you mean Willow. OH! No, no way." Angel stuttered taking in what Doyle was saying and understanding the truth behind what he was saying, "Damn! I let her walk."
"So now the man gets it, jeez giv' the dumbass a medal. Ah an' Angel yer might just want ter-. " Doyle said but before he could finish, the door to the stairs was flung open and Angel was gone.
"Run." Doyle finished and with a smile he was gone, leaving the roof that looked out onto the city of Angels silent once more.
