Random Bits 10
Setting: A royal birthday party in Guadosalam demands the presence of Spira's famous Summoner. With Guardians in tow, Yuna heads for the palace.
Guadosalam - Mansion Entrance - After a long ride on a shoopuff (and several mishaps involving the words 'Hey, Yuna look what I can do!') Yuna and her entourage have been ushered inside.
Auron was just about ready to tear his hair out as he listened to Rikku explaining Customization to Tidus for the third time. He rolled his eye as the Al Bhed girl finally gave up and began exploring the place like she had never seen it before.
Wakka was staring intently at the portraits lining the stair cases in the hopes that if he stared at them hard enough, a three dimensional image would 'pop' out. Tidus joined him shortly. Lulu shook her head and glared up at the ceiling, lips moving in what could have been a prayer, but was probably a Curse (since prayers don't usually include words like 'die' , 'horrible', 'death', or 'extreme pain').
Tromell swept into the room moments later and ushered the party into a long corridor. Yuna tried to make polite conversation as she followed their host through the maze of hallways. That's right, hallways. Every good palace has them. You know what they look like: Each one decorated in the exact same manner as the others. Their sole function is to stump, amaze, and overwhelm guests. They also have the added bonus of confusing, exasperating, and completely robbing fleeing enemies (or guests) of any sense of direction. Like those mirror mazes in fun houses, but we'll just leave that one alone for now.
Lulu frowned at Rikku as she stole a Potion from a niche in one wall as she passed. The blond girl smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, force of habit." she replied and added the classic Whipped Puppy look, but was countered by the equally classic And I'm A (insert preferred animal, mineral, vegetable, or astrological reference). Steeping in guilt, the Al Bhed girl fell back to walk by Tidus, her new Best Buddy. Wakka had been her Best Buddy once, but that was before he'd crashed the Celsius…twice.
The object of Rikku's scorn was currently walking next to Lulu and pointing excitedly at interesting objects with the enthusiasm of someone who lived on a small secluded island and didn't get out much. There was nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that this wasn't his first trip to Guadosalam. Lulu was taking it all in stride, which meant that she was readily pointing out items that Wakka had missed. The sarcasm was lost on him.
Tromell left the party sitting in a small waiting room while he went to announce their arrival and make sure that there was enough food to go around (you know, politics.)
Tidus nudged Rikku and pointed at a figure that was slowly shuffling into the far end of the room. A quick game of Elbow Relay rippled through the group, skipping Kimahri (since Ronsos don't play well with others). The figure resolved itself into a sad, elderly Guado male dressed in the much charred remains of his clerk' robes. He was as bald as an egg, except for the lone hair that was smoldering atop his head. It gave him the overall appearance of a dejected Bomb.
The old Guado had the group's full attention as he advanced slowly, still crisping in places, and removed a pointed hat from a chair. Reaching up, he licked his thumb and pinched the flaming strand of hair. The flame died with a soggy hiss. With that done he gingerly placed the hat on his head, bowed to Yuna and her Guardians, and departed, leaving sooty footprints on the carpet and a lingering smell of fried spam.
"What happened to that poor Guado?" Yuna asked Tromell, who had entered in time to see the old clerk leave. She had been doing her best not to stare, since staring was rude (and therefore unbecoming of a Summoner. Her companions, however had no qualms about staring).
"Oh," Tromell replied with a dismissive wave, "That was just his Majesty's old clerk. He was just Fired."
So, you want to know about the spam comment? Well, way back when I was in highschool (before we had iPods, VCast, and MP3's) a girl in my mythology class made the comment that "Of all the canned meats, Spam tastes the most like human flesh." Since none of us had ever tasted human flesh, we just took her word for it...
