Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from the movies utilised, just borrowing them for a bit of fun.
A/N: This is just a light-hearted one-shot which popped into my head and refused to leave until I wrote it down. I guess you would call it amusing PWP, but hopefully it will give you a giggle at the very least!
This is a Crossover between the movies 'Twilight' and 'Cosmopolis' (not the book, which the category for the latter shows it to be).
If you haven't seen 'Cosmopolis' you should suspend your disbelief until you actually have seen Eric Packer (aka Edward Cullen) getting a rectal exam from his doctor in the back of his limo.
IMPRUDENCE & GRATIFICATION
Jacob's POV
"Damnit!" Dad grumbled, dragging a hand through his short black hair. The grey at the temples seemed to be showing more than usual lately and this morning he looked especially worried.
"What's up?" I poured two coffees and leaned against the kitchen counter.
"I don't have time for coffee, Jacob. I have a full diary today and now an emergency!"
"Off-load some on me then," I replied easily. "I am qualified now."
"I know, but I have some difficult ones today."
"Difficult how? I'm sure I can deal. Have some faith in me."
"I do, son, but...well, I guess I've no choice. The hospital paged me to attend to a coronary. I was to go to one of my regulars."
"Which one?" Dad had his own surgery and a long list of patients whom he visited at home.
"Eric Packer."
Of course. The twenty-eight-year-old billionaire hypochondriac. Dad had been giving him a full physical exam every morning for the past year when his previous physician had been fired for not taking seriously enough his fear of developing some strange and deadly disease or suffering a heart attack in his prime. I'd seen the man a couple of times from a distance and he was...dare I say attractive?
"I don't mind taking him," I said and hid a smirk.
Dad sighed heavily. "Make sure you offer him my apologies. Follow the exam sheet to the letter. Don't..." He eyed me with a frown. "...smirk. He has his little foibles, they're not for us to question. He pays well."
"Where's his file?"
Dad grabbed a blue card folder and passed it to me. "There are blank sheets on the top."
I extracted the uppermost sheet of paper from the file and noted it was a list of the tests to be undertaken with empty boxes to be filled in with the results. Blood pressure test, ECG, joints, eyes, ears...
My mouth fell open. "Rectal exam?"
Dad shrugged. "He's convinced he'll develop prostate cancer. His uncle died from it."
I smiled wrily. "How much does he pay you for this?"
"Enough for me to keep the grin off of my face and pander to his whims. You better not mess this up, Jacob."
"I won't. Go to the hospital. Do I go to his house?"
"Oh...no...there's something going on today; you know the President is in town? Young Mr Packer decided that today of all days, he would drive across town, which is probably going to take him hours..."
"So what's the rush?"
"Regardless of where he is or what he's doing, the exam takes place at the same time, every day. You'll find him in his limo, somewhere between Beacon and Southwest."
"You're kidding me," I muttered.
"No."
"Fine. I'm onto it." The whole thing seemed ridiculous to me, but I couldn't shake the slight feeling of interest that peaked in me at the thought of examining Eric Packer's body inch by inch. Unprofessional? Maybe. I was a twenty-seven-year-old single gay guy with not enough free time to spend enjoying myself; I might as well at least try to enjoy some aspects of my work.
Another hour saw me on the corner of Beacon and Lexington, searching the endless lines of traffic for the limousine. Five minutes to go before I would be late. Finally I spotted it and gripping my case containing tools of the trade firmly, I dodged in and out of the cars and trucks as I crossed two lanes towards my destination and tapped on the blackened glass. The window rolled down a couple inches after a moment.
"Yes?"
I could barely see his eyes in the gloomy interior and I cleared my throat.
"Jacob Black, Sir. My father's your physician. I'm afraid he's been called to an emergency."
"Well, that's no good to me. He has a regular booking with me at this time."
"He sent me instead," I said.
"You're a doctor?" He raised one eyebrow and I took a few steps sideways to keep level with the car as it inched forwards.
"Yes, Sir."
"You don't look old enough."
"I'm twenty-seven and I can assure you, I'm qualified and perfectly capable of undertaking your examination."
There was silence for a long moment and I sidled along another few steps, feeling ridiculous bent over with my head level with the window.
"Get in," he said eventually and the door popped open an inch while the window rolled up into its fully closed position again. I grabbed the handle, pulled the door wider and stepped in, seating myself quickly on a plush leather couch. Eric wasn't alone, I noticed, but accompanied by an older female. I hesitated for a moment, unsnapping the case and removing the folder and list of tests.
"Begin," Eric said sharply. "We're wasting time."
It was in my mind to blurt out that we weren't going anywhere, stuck in traffic which I doubted would make it to the end of the street by lunchtime, but I bit my tongue and removed the pressure cuff and stethoscope from my case.
"Please remove your jacket and shirt, Sir," I said.
Eric yanked his tie loose and shrugged off his jacket impatiently. As he began removing his cufflinks he resumed conversation with the woman, whom it became clear was an employee. He continued talking, interrupted occasionally by my instructions to 'take a deep breath', 'turn around' and so on as I checked blood pressure, heart rate, breathing and did my best to ignore the way the cold disc of the stethoscope made his nipples stiffen. He was of slim build, defined but not excessively so. Usually I liked more muscle, but bizarrely his thinness, pale skin and sprinkling of chest hair were appealing. However, his waspish attitude made me nervous and my hand shook as I held the small light up and asked him to follow it with his eyes.
Next was the ECG and he stretched out flat on his back on one of the long seats as I stuck the little pads to his chest and flicked on the machine, quickly establishing that his heart rate was normal. I pulled off one of the sensors, bringing two chest hairs with it.
"Fuck!" Eric hissed.
"I'm sorry."
Scowling, he tipped his head back and fixed his eyes on the woman again, continuing their conversation as I finished what I was doing and filled in the exam chart.
"You can put your shirt back on now," I advised.
Still frowning, he straightened up and slid his arms into the white shirt, fastening several of the buttons and leaving it hanging loose. I put the chart down again, my nervousness increasing. The next test was the one that interested me and at the same time worried me. Rectal exam. I'd had my fingers up guys' butts before, but with the intention of giving them pleasure, not checking for abnormalities.
Eric was obviously familar with the routine and got to his feet, dropped his pants to his knees and bent forwards, resting his hands on the seats either side of him and somehow managing to continue a business discussion with the woman, whose expression indicated nothing out of the ordinary. I removed latex gloves and lube from the case, keeping my face straight with difficulty as the sudden desire to laugh filled me. Eric's butt was practically in my face, still covered by blue and white striped shorts and I had to wonder if this was actually happening or if I was in the middle of a strange dream.
Clearing my throat slightly, I lowered his shorts to uncover firm buttocks, snapped on the gloves quickly and applied lube to the fingers of my right hand. My cock twitched slightly and I grimaced, trying to remember I was a professional and the sexy naked ass in front of me was part of my job.
Raising my left hand, I tentatively spread his buttocks to reveal the tight puckered hole, noting the area leading towards his scrotum was hairless and smooth as if he had carefully shaved it - or paid someone to do it for him. I circled his hole with a lubed finger and noticed him stiffen slightly, thighs tensing.
"Breathe out and relax, Sir, I'll try to make this as painless as possible," I said quietly.
'And as pleasurable as I can manage.' I squashed the amusing thought and reminded myself again that I was a doctor.
I heard Eric take a deep breath and let it out slowly and I carefully inserted my index finger an inch. He paused in the middle of his sentence for a second and then continued. I slid my finger deeper and he shuddered slightly. I could feel the heat of him through the glove, the tight muscle gripping my digit and my cock lengthened determinedly.
'Fuck,' I thought. 'What's wrong with me? Concentrate.'
I carefully pushed my middle finger in alongside the first, stretching him and causing his breath to hitch again, briefly interrupting what he was saying. I reached in deeper, telling myself I was feeling for anything that possibly shouldn't be there, such as a swelling. My middle finger nudged his prostate and he coughed suddenly, muscles almost crushing my fingers and pushing me out a little.
"Um...that's the end of the meeting for today," he said through his teeth.
"But, Sir..." the woman began to protest.
"We're finished!"
"Alright. Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Sir." In a few seconds, she was gone, the door slamming closed behind her. Eric's hands slid forward on the seats a few inches and he hung his head.
"Everything ok, Sir?" I queried.
"Damnit, stop calling me 'Sir', we're the same age!" he growled.
"Are you uncomfortable at all...Mr Packer?"
"Only with that creature watching," he uttered disparagingly. "Continue."
I turned my fingers to the left and then the right, exploring and at the same time glancing past him towards the rear window of the car, now visible since the employee was no longer sitting in front of it. His reflection was clear in the black glass, shirt fronts partly hanging open, his erect cock jutting eagerly in front of him. Interesting. I prodded his prostate again and his shaft quivered as he emitted a soft groan. My own cock throbbed in my pants and I removed my fingers reluctantly. Damnit, if only we were in another place and he wasn't employing me to check him out for defects.
"Everything's completely normal," I said, sounding a touch breathless.
"Is it? You're finished then?"
"Yes, all done." I peeled the gloves off. "You don't think so?"
"Usually it...takes longer."
"Perhaps I should check again," I heard myself say. Fuck. I was going to get myself fired and ruin my father's reputation, but my balls were aching and I could still see his hard-on twitching in front of him.
"Hm." I figured the grunt was acknowledgement; he could have easily told me to fuck off or sat down instead of continuing to stand there with his butt sticking out enticingly.
I grabbed the lube again and applied it to my uncovered fingers, then before I could stop myself, slid two of them back into his warm, tight tunnel. He grunted in surprise and his hands slipped a little more on the seat. I nudged his prostate and he groaned louder this time.
"What the fuck...are you doing?"
"Better be thorough." I held my breath, waiting for him to tell me to get the hell out of the car. He stayed silent except for the sound of his breathing which was becoming rapid and loud. What the hell. I had already crossed the line and he hadn't complained. His cock was oozing pre-cum and as he glanced backwards over his shoulder I could see sweat beading on his forehead, dampening his bangs. I slid my left hand between his legs and cupped his balls, rolling them in my palm and squeezing gently. Well, the chart did demand checking for testicular abnormalities.
Eric's breath hissed out fast again and he moved slightly, an almost imperceptible gyrating of his hips. I thrust my fingers deeper more firmly and he moaned, clenching his fists on the seats. A drip of pre-cum landed on my knuckles and I bit my lip, feeling the damp patch in my shorts where my own cock was leaking.
"Perhaps you'd be more comfortable reclining on one of the seats," I suggested.
"How long...is this going to take?" he panted.
"Not much longer, I'd say."
"Right."
I withdrew my fingers again and much to my surprise, he turned quickly, toed off his shoes and let his pants and shorts drop to his ankles. In seconds he was sprawling back on the long seat, his cock curving up against his stomach and his legs parted. He had his eyes closed, chest rising and falling rapidly. He looked fucking hot and I wished again we were anything other than doctor and patient. I would have given just about anything to be pushing my cock into his warm tight hole, but I was well aware that I'd already gone much too far. Instead I kneeled between his feet and inserted my fingers again, curling them upwards and rhythmically massaging his prostate.
"Mmm..."
I grinned. Apparently he had also forgotten I was supposed to be his physician.
"Is that better, Sir?"
"Damnit...it's Eric."
"Eric..."
Gulping, I brushed the fingers of my left hand along the length of his shaft and he lifted his hips slightly, trying to thrust himself against me. I took him in my hand and gripped firmly. He was as hard as steel and obviously close. I began to slide my hand up and down, matching the rhythm of my fingers inside him and he squirmed and groaned.
"Fuck...my shirt..." he muttered suddenly and pulled it up out of the way. His orgasm was approaching rapidly and without hesitation I ducked my head, capturing his cock in my mouth, circling it with my tongue, allowing my teeth to scrape gently as I lowered myself until he reached the back of my throat. A few more seconds and he was exploding, filling my mouth and throat with his warm salty cum, just as my own spurted into my shorts and soaked the fabric. I swallowed several times, gradually slowing my hand movements until I slipped my fingers out of him and released his cock.
Reality crashed down onto me and I backed away in alarm. Shit. I would be in all kinds of trouble for molesting a patient. Lose my licence, shame my father, probably end up in jail! I struggled to regain my composure and began shoving everything back into my case.
"Um...everything seems to be...in fine working order," I stammered, figuring I might as well joke about it. I couldn't very well make things worse.
Eric opened his eyes slowly and sat up, bending to retrieve his shorts from the floor of the limo.
"Clearly my appointment is over," he said.
"Yes, Sir. I'll...um...I'll be going." I reached for the door handle. "I would ask that whatever action you wish to take, you bear in mind my father is extremely professional and..."
"I'll be speaking to your father later," Eric said, pulling up his underwear and reaching for his pants.
"Yes, Sir." Fuck. Dad would kill me.
"I'll be advising him his services will no longer be required."
"I'm sorry..." I whispered miserably. What the hell had I been thinking?
"Yes, I think I would prefer it if you were to attend to my needs in the future."
My mouth fell open. "You're not going to report me?"
"For what?" His furrowed brows smoothed out and he leaned back in the seat. "Making one more day from hell in the midst of a whole year of them infinitely more bearable? My address should be on my file. Same time tomorrow; bear in mind I don't appreciate being kept waiting."
"Yes, Sir...Eric." Struggling not to grin from ear to ear, I opened the door and stepped out into the street. The car had travelled barely a hundred yards since I got in. I glanced back just before I closed the door again and noticed a satisfied smirk curving his lips up at the corners.
Dodging back across the street through the traffic, I chuckled to myself as I thought about the bizarre appointment and the promise of regular episodes with the hot young Mr Packer. I couldn't wait for tomorrow.
SIX MONTHS LATER
Panting, I slid away from Eric and removed the condom, then flopped back onto the mattress beside him. He was watching me through lowered lids, his pupils still dilated and hair sticking up in all directions, cheeks damp and flushed.
"Fuck, Jacob, one of these days you're going to kill me," he gasped.
"Better than dying from some bizarre disease, right?" I winked.
"I was a jerk back then." He moved closer and rested his head against my shoulder. "Thanks."
"What for?"
"Showing me how to live."
"I don't know what came over me that day," I admitted. We'd talked about it before - it was one of our favourite things to laugh about. He hadn't had a rectal exam since a few days after the limo episode, except for the ones I gave him with my fingers or my cock and occasionally my tongue and they had nothing to do with looking for prospective problems.
"I would have come over you if you hadn't had my cock in your mouth," chuckled Eric. "So...when are you going to leave Daddy and move in with me?"
"Are you serious? What's your wife gonna say about that?"
"Not much. She signed the divorce papers on Monday."
I pulled him closer to me and brushed my lips against his. "In that case..." Another kiss. "I'd probably better get home and start packing."
I drew away from him reluctantly, my heart pounding with excitement as I dressed and set off for home. How strange, to think that such a dreadful professional indiscretion could have resulted in the happiest six months of my life.
