Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles
title: Just A Burn
author: River2027
Disclaimer:I do not own anything Terminator
setting: during "tower is tall"
genre: drama
rating: T
warning: contains spoilers for "tower is tall"
summary: What happened before John accidentally shot off the gun in his room? Slight mention of John/Cameron
John sat silently on the floor, idly wiping off some mud that was still stuck to Derek's nine-millimeter. The therapist session hadn't gone as well as they'd hoped. The bug had been planted, thanks to Cameron, but John got the feeling that Sarah didn't want him spending time there. He understood…to some extent…her driving need to protect him from Skynet.
But he didn't feel like he could talk to her anymore. So he had to talk to someone. He heard the front door open and footsteps walking in. Derek was back. It was about time.
John set down Derek's gun and picked up another one, glancing down at it. The sight caught him by surprise. It was the little pistol with which he'd held Cameron at gunpoint after inserting her chip once more. He suddenly flashed back to that night, hand tightly gripping the gun, aimed at her head. Are you here to kill me John?
He tried to shake it off, but that memory sparked another one. One he'd been trying to bury for weeks. The sight of Cameron smashed between two trucks, her cries, her pleading. Everything she said was a trick, you know that right?
He jammed the cloth near the trigger, wiping off dust and grime. It wasn't right. She was a machine, that's all. Why couldn't he get that through his head? Derek and his mother certainly reminded him enough. He pressed his lips tightly together, narrowing his eyebrows in anger.
How could she still make him feel this way?
I love you John and you love me!
His hand tightened and the next thing he knew, he was recoiling backwards, something hot grazing his cheek, the loud bang of the handgun. John felt dizzy for a moment, disoriented.
It wasn't until he heard the sound of three sets of footprints rushing his way and saw the bullet hole in the wall to his left that he realized exactly what had happened. He felt a sudden wave of nausea.
I almost shot myself!
His mother, Derek, and Cameron entered almost simultaneously, their guns drawn. Sarah looked stricken with emotion.
"I'm fine, okay? I'm fine," John said quickly, trying to stand up twice to no avail. He took a deep breath and remained crouched on the floor, trying to calm his nerves. "I was cleaning it. I thought – I thought I cleared it."
Sarah looked a little horrified, and reached out to touch the stinging mark on his cheek. John pulled her hand away. "It's just a burn. From the shell casing."
Just a burn…I could have been killed…not even killed heroically...killed cleaning a stupid gun…killed by being careless.
Derek's words came back to him. We all die for you. He cringed. Why would anyone want to follow a leader like him? He looked up at Derek as his uncle replaced his gun, pursing his lips.
John quickly stood up and stalked out of the room. He wasn't expecting anyone to follow him. Especially not Cameron.
She tailed him all the way to his room. He told himself that it was only to make sure her charge really was unharmed, nothing more.
He couldn't let her affect him like that again. Couldn't afford any more of those memories. The one of him killing Sarkissian was bad enough.
He spun on her when he reached his doorway, glaring at her as he reiterated, "I'm fine." He didn't give her the chance to reply, simply turned and slammed his door a little harder than necessary, never looking back.
He had to focus, had to keep her off his mind, out of his head.
Or it was going to get him killed.
finis
author's note: The ending was to tie it together with the episode more. Remember that John still acts hostile towards Cameron throughout the rest of it.
