Title: Not So Strong After All
Author: halfbreedcreature
Rating: pg 13 for the angst
Fandom: Supernatural
POV: Sam Winchester
Distribution: You want to use it, knock yourselves out. Just make sure you ask me first.
Disclaimer: This is not the property of halfbreedcreature. Nosiree bob, not mine, never mine, only the words, cliche as they may be, are mine.
Note: Any and all psychological issues that may result from reading this work of fanfiction are not my responsibility. Remember, YOU chose to read it. Also, I do not have spell check.
He just wanted to make them proud.
He could never do that. If he killed a polterguiest and saved Dad? Well, Dad wouldn't be there, Dean would yell at him, if Sam remembered the rocksalt in the first place! If he graduated High School with Honors and a boat load of university recommendations? How does that help with hunting, Dad would yell at him. If he knew exactly when the next killing was, the circumstances and the place, and those people were saved? Well, then he must be possessed, because little Sammy couldn't possibly be hurting with horrific visions, couldn't possible be any help, no, it's probably a demon.
So, in a last, futile attempt to make his family proud, he applied to Stanford, and, what, he was accepted? Really? A full ride? That had to make the Winchesters proud, didn't it?
No, it made them mad. Mad? But it was a full ride to Ivy League, wasn't that special? Sam didn't want to leave his family, his Dad and Dean, his idols, people he strived to be even when they seemed more then human, better, expecting the same from poor little normal Sammy. He responded to his father's shouts with anger. Because he didn't know how to respond, and he couldn't let them see his hurt.
So he left. If he listened to Dad, again after years, maybe that would make him proud? Even when he did listen to Dad, before, it was never enough, but maybe it would work now?
Years later, Sam found out that he only hurt them. Hurt them? How could Sam hurt them? Wasn't he the screw up? The son that just couldn't cut it? He only wanted to make Dad and Dean proud of him, to help them instead of being the annoying third wheel, screwing up the dynamic, making their family fall apart. The demon only came because of him, he was responsible, why else would they hate him so much? He could feel it, Dad, when he came home smelling of whiskey and Jack, John, and Jose, resented him for this, hated him, if only when he was drunk.
So he did his best just to make them proud. Maybe if Dad wad proud of him, he wouldn't blame Sam for this anymore. He tried and tried to make them proud anyway. On his dieing breath, with his brother sobbing his name, with the burning pain of death spreading through his body from the wound in his back, he knew his best just wasn't good enough.
This is the end, people. Don't you dare ask for more. If that question is asked, you will most certainly get the opposite. Because alot of people just review saying, oh, cool, plz update soon, and that REALLY gets on my nerves. Also, people that flame without leaving a name are very annoying.
