Just a one shot I got the idea for while writing a longer fic. It will explore an age old question I'm sure all of your subconscious minds were asking at one point or another.
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Colonel Jack O'Neill made his way through the massive amount of hallways in the SGC with one target location in mind a certain major's lab. And so he walked, and so he pondered.
'Lab… It wasn't really a lab. When you think of a lab, you'd think of test tubes and lab rats. Carter's lab isn't a lab, it's a storage closet for cool looking metal… 'thingamajigs'… we find on random planets. I swear, half of those things we pick up are probably pieces of junk the leaders of those planets dug up in the dump and gave us just so we'd leave them alone. That's got to be it. Half of it doesn't work, anyways.'
The Colonel turned the corner and made his way through the door of Sam Carter's domain. 'I wonder if she thought of that yet…'
The major in question looked up from her laptop. Various pieces of metal littered the table in front of her. "Ah, Colonel! What brings you here?"
"Ah, nothing, just making my way to the commissary for some cake." He lied.
"Cake, sir?"
"Yep. Cake. As in Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, cheesecake…"
Carter cut him off. "Ah. I get it, Sir. But, isn't the commissary on the other side of the base?"
"It is."
"Right."
Jack circled her desk and glanced at the metal lying misplaced on top. "So, what's with the science experiment?"
"Oh this?" Sam followed his gaze. "Remember last month we came upon a fairly advanced civilization on P3X-238?"
"The Nazi people?"
The major suppressed a sigh. "They were not Nazis, they just looked like them."
"Are you sure? They had that salute thing…"
"My point is, they wanted nothing to do with us and didn't want to busy themselves with our problems. In the end, we persuaded their leader to give us one piece of technology. They gave us a metal box with a sort of switch on it."
"So? Is this it, then?" Colonel O'Neill picked up a metal plate with his fingers and examined it closely.
"Yes. They didn't tell me what it does or how it works, but I figured I could take it apart and see for myself."
"What did you find out?" The colonel feigned interest.
"Um, nothing useful. As far as I can tell, it resembles a light switch more than anything else."
"No laser beams or maps to ancient cities?"
"No sir. A light switch."
"How fascinating."
Carter sighed. "Have you ever gotten the feeling that half of the things we pick up are pieces of junk the leaders of some planets dug up in the dump and gave us just so we'd leave them alone?"
"Oh yeah."
"Really?"
"Duh. Why do you think we bring back all sorts of 'doohickeys' for you to play with but they never turn out to be useful and we just forget about them in the end anyways?"
"True."
A moment of silence filled the lab as both people suddenly found opposite side of the room very interesting. Finally, Jack spoke up. "So, what do all those blinking lights on those machines do?" He pointed around the room. The machines blinked faster with more color.
"Those machines are very expensive pieces of technology found all over this base."
"But what do they do?"
"um..." Sam glanced around the room nervously. "They store vital data about the devices we find off world."
"I thought you said most of the things we find are useless?"
Cater backed away in the direction of the machines in question. Her usual professional attitude was cracking, and she had a slight look of a scared mouse on her face. Suddenly, her eyes narrowed in on him with desperation. "I converted my Nintendo, okay!" She yelled, almost bursting into tears. "It gets so lonely in here, so boring. Locked in a cramped dark lab such as this one, with nothing to work on but the gadgets we find off-world. I had to do something!"
Jack looked at his hysterical 2IC with slight confusion, then with understanding. "Does it have Mario Brother 3?"
"Uh, yes. You won't report this, will you?"
"Does anybody else know? Daniel, Teal'c?"
"No sir."
"Can come over and play once in a while?"
"Of course, sir."
"Then I won't tell a soul. Now, how 'bout that cake?" Sam Carter nodded and the two of them made there way out of the lab and to the commissary in silence.
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Hopefully, it explained some questions of yours. Sam was out of character on purpose, guys. Hope you liked it! Care to review?
