A/N: Soooooooo, I've posted a story! XD Lololol, for those who know me you know I haven't posted in years, but I was lazy and had writers block and fell out of love with my big fandom Inuyasha at the time. But do not fear! I've rekindled a spark somewhere deep down inside me! Of course right now it's mainly Transformers and Hetalia and anything else I want to crossover. Maybe something with zombies someday, but for now, this tasteful crack I came up with one day. Me and my friend were going over story ideas when I threw this at her in a laugh before I realized the potential for awesome. So here it is.


Chapter 1: Jesus Baby?

Many of the humans didn't know, but there was a time when there were many femmes around. What most humans also didn't know was that the mechs had urges just like many human males did. They were made very similar in that way, but since there were no femmes around, it was either you paired up with another mech and hoped that they weren't too temperamental or went with the good old servo.

Sideswipe, by the grace of Primus, was lucky enough to be sparked with a twin. They had an understanding of sorts you could say; if he rubbed his back, Sunstreaker would rub his in turn. But of course, this didn't apply to whenever Sunny was pissed off, which was almost all of the time. And he was horny now! So Sideswipe and decided to drive out to a remote cliff face and let off some steam under the sun.

Sideswipe leaned back on a rock that was near the edge and switched back the latch that covered his spike. As he brought his servo over the top of it, he imagined his brother Sunny there with a lusty look in his optics as he hovered over him. Sideswipe closed his optics with a groan and fully palmed his spike.

It was many groans and fantasies that he finally finished with a shot of slimy cybertronian fluid, most of which hit in a trail along the edge of the cliff, but some flew over and fell all the way into a conveniently placed river.

Who knows if it was coincidence or fate that let the strange alien sperm survive long enough to swim in that stream until it found a host. We'll just call it a fateful coincidence.


"Are you crazy? How can you just allow them to test on you like that? I mean, what if it's some weird alien tech that'll make you grow extra arms and sprout purple tentacles?"

Lake laughed at her friends crazy imagination. Mary and her had decided to go hiking out in the mountains and go for a swim in the small river before they started back home. Lake splashed Mary in the face.

"Oh come on, it's not that bad, they just gave me a shot, a honking big one yes, but still just a shot, I mean it's not like they cut me open. Plus I'm an art student, where do you think the term starving artist comes from? We need money!"

Lake floated away from Mary and dove under the water. Both Lake and Mary attended a nearby city college in California, while Mary was majoring in Biology Lake was majoring in Art. Lake and Mary had been best friends since they were kids and were still best friends even in college.

Lake came up from the river bottom and took in a breath of fresh air.

"What is that?"

Lake turned towards Mary. "Huh? What's what?"

"Behind you!"

Lake turned around and rushing towards her was the color purple. Actually more like a pinkish purple, but still, it was weird! It was mixed in with the river water and coming towards her fast.

"Oh ew, I do not want to touch that! Hurry, out of the water!" Mary swam as fast as she could and got out just before it reached them. Lake, though, wasn't so lucky.

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, eeewwwww! Why me?" Lake kept swimming through the now purple water and slowly climbed out onto the river bank on her hands and knees. There was purple slime all over her arms, legs and hair.

"I think it even got under my bathing suit. This is worse than getting sand in the cracks." Mary was standing a bit away from her and from the sounds Lake could hear, she could tell she was trying not to crack up. Of course, Mary was never one to hold things in for long.

"BAHAHAHAHA! Omg, that is so funny! Hehehe, oh god, where's my camera?"

Lake grabbed a towel and started cleaning herself off. "Oh don't you even think of taking a picture of me or so help me I will punch you in the nose."

Mary pouted. "Aww, but come on, it's so funny!"

"No."


She wasn't sure when she had started to feel sick, but one morning all she remembered was running to the toilet and barfing up everything she had in her stomach. She hadn't felt sick before nor had she been drinking so she couldn't think of a solid reason as to why she had thrown up. So Lake threw it off as just a weird occurrence and got on with her life.

As an Art student, a big part of her college grants went to her art supplies. She ended up with hardly enough money to pay her rent and buy food from her part time job at Starbucks. Her big plan was to transfer to a bigger Art college after she got a degree in her small city college in Art. She was hoping to get some sort of Scholarship with her art. She still had no idea which college she wanted to go to yet though.

It was a few days of waking up in the morning and barfing that the next weird occurrence occurred. She had been walking by the TV when she had tripped and bumped into it. And the next thing she knew, it turned on. The buttons were below the TV so she couldn't have turned it on, but it just…did. Maybe she had a ghost or something. Scary.

So she had gone on with her life like normal. The thought of a ghost in her house didn't really bother her, she had grown up with parents who were pretty much hippies and, in her families case, hippies and believing in ghosts pretty much went hand in hand. She just attributed her weird feelings and occasional sickness to a touchy ghost.

Until, of course, she started getting a baby bulge.

"Mary!" Mary rubbed her eyes as she walked towards the constant knocking on her front door. A glance at her clock on the wall revealed it to be 4'o clock in the morning. But God save her, if Lake didn't stop pounding on her door she would kill her. Mary unlocked her door with a growl and barely open eyes.

"What? Why are you pounding on my door at this ungodly hour?" A glance at Lake made Mary lose some of her anger, though she tried to hold on to it in stubbornness. She ran a hand down her face.

"Ugh, what's wrong?" She opened her door wider to let Lake in. Lake ran in and went straight for her couch and dove onto it. She grabbed a stuffed shark Mary had sitting on her couch and hid her face in it.

"Mmmhhhph."

Mary picked up Lake's legs and sat down before putting her legs across her lap. "So?"

Lake was quiet before staring at Mary with horror in her eyes. "I think I might be pregnant." It came out as almost a whisper.

"What?"

"Oh my god Mary, what if I'm pregnant? I'm not ready for a kid! I was supposed to be a rich, accomplished artist before I even thought about kids! Plus I'm a virgin! The only person I've ever had anything close to sex with was a girl! And that was in middle school and we were just curious!"

Mary stared at Lake's crying face in confusion. "Why do you think your pregnant then? Maybe you're just really sick?"

Lake shook her head while crying. "I checked! I kept on getting morning sickness and I noticed I was getting fatter and I could just feel something was different about my stomach so I bought a test just to make sure and oh my god Mary it came back positive!" Lake got a blank look on her face and stared at Mary. "What if I have a baby Jesus inside me?"

Mary put both her hands on Lake's shoulder and stared her down. "Calm down: there is no baby Jesus inside you, there was no Greek God who raped you in your sleep, and there certainly wasn't any aliens who stole you away, impregnated you, wiped your memories clean and dropped you back on earth."

Lake stared back at Mary, eyes growing wider with each new idea that Mary came up with. Lake chuckled a bit and wiped some of her tears away. "I'm starting to wonder if my huge imagination is starting to rub off on you." She looked away and whispered quietly. "I hadn't even considered the last two…"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Well stop worrying. Let's just try to forget it for now. If you keep on getting bigger then we'll worry, but for now, we'll just continue on like regular college students." Mary got up off the couch and went towards her room. "Come on. Let me get ready and we'll go to 7-11 to get you an extra large slurpee."

Lake bit on her nails, the stuffed shark held securely between her arms. She knew it was pretty unbelievable to Mary that she could be pregnant, but Lake just knew! She had always been the kind of girl who could tell the exact moment her period started by the twitch in her ovaries. To her, it wasn't that far of a stretch to be able to tell if something was growing down there in her. But for now…Mary was right, they could only wait. She sighed and then pounted.

"Fine, but you're paying."


"So how'd the results turn out? "

Alistair Michaelus was a top researcher in experimental biotechnology. He had studied practically his whole life, being in his prime at 41, about all there was to know in the area of expertise. One thing he was particularly proud of, but was never allowed to tell, was that he had been a part of Sector 7: the sector that never existed.

The best times of his life had been when he was researching NBE-1. The huge alien that had been in cryo-stasis for 50 years and was the reason for all of earth's technology. To say that he had been devastated when the Sector had been disbanded would be an understatement. He had been furious. All his work; down the drain. All the accomplishments he had been working so hard to achieve; told that he had to get rid of it all. As if he was going to fucking do that. The government could go fuck itself for all he cared.

In the confusion after NBE-1's escape, he had smuggled parts that were still left over; parts that had been removed from NBE-1 itself. And he had formed this small research group, its cover trying to come up with a way to increase fertility rates for women who had low chances of ever conceiving. When really they were shooting women up with experimental nano-tech, reversed engineered from NBE-1, to see how well they would blend. His big goal behind this was to create the perfect augmented human: stronger muscles, advanced reflexes, extended life spans. What better way to create a prototype than straight from the womb?

"So far nothing out of the normal, no subjects show signs of blending. Of course, it could just take a longer period for the nano-tech to graph onto the subjects DNA, but further tests would be required."

Alistair crossed his hands under his chin. "Hmmm. You may be right. We'll just have to wait until the subjects return for follow-ups. Make sure to have them called and reminded. You're dismissed."

The scientist nodded before turning and leaving the office. The door shut with a resounding click.

I'm almost there, I can taste it.


A/N: Weeeeee~!