TOURNIQUET
by Noodlebooty

'I tried to kill the pain, but only brought more. So much more.'

Nny was in his torture room. Torturing yet another ass-hole who got in his way. He grinned as the guy pleaded for his life. They always do that. Plunging the knife deep down into the man's spine, the victim let out a blood curdling scream. Johnny wanted to laugh, but...nothing.
He couldn't feel anything. He came to this conclusion a few nights ago. Now, he just kept killing and killing, hoping he would kill the emptyness that he carried.

'I laid dieing, and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayel'.

He became frustrated with his emptyness. Storming downstairs, he grabbed a random knife to take with him. This was it.
"If I can't feel anything," he said looking at his reflection in the knife. "Then I wont."
The knife was pressed against his neck. He scrunched his eyes closed, feeling a tinge of hesitance.
"Come on. Now or never." He pressed harder against his throat. "Aw, crap." He lowered the knife and threw it down in frustration.

'I'm dieing, I'm praying, bleeding, I'm screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?'

Back against the wall, he pounded his head hoping and answer would come to his problem.
"What's wrong with me?!"
And then Johnny did something he never had any recolection of doing. He prayed.
"God, is this some punishment for making you wake up? I wanna' die, but I can't. I wont let myself, I think it's a defense mechanism, but, this is just making me want to die even more . I'm so confused. Could...could you...just...can you help me?"

'My god, my tourniquet. Return to me salvation. My god, my tourniquet. Return to me salvation. Do you remember me, lost for so long. Will you be on the other side, will you forget me?'

He met god. That lazy mother wouldn't do anything but sit on his ass and mock him for asking for his help. But, it seemed to work for other people.
"I'm depressed, I wanna' die. Why wont you let me?!" Johnny's prayer turned to anger. He felt the need to blame him, it was his fault. Why his life was like this, he was the one that created him, there for, he was to blame.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!! Why would you do this?!! This is your fucking fault!! None of this should have happened!! I should be happy, I should be free from this torment!! I blame you! You did this," he choked through the tears.
He collapsed to his knees, and broke into a sob. Why him? Why did his life have to be ruined?

'I'm dieing, I'm praying, bleeding, I'm screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?'

'My god, my tourniquet. Return to me salvation. My god, my tourniquet. Return to me salvation.'

The sunlight shone through the window. Johnny had been crying all night. Standing up, he slowly walked to the window and looked outside.
Kids' were walking to skool, parents heading off for work. Everything was just like everyother morning. Nny gave a sad smile.
"Yeah, you did this. Every part of it."

'My words cry for the grave, my soul cries for deliverance. Will I be denied? Christ, tourniquet, my suicide.'

THE END
by Noodlebooty, sufferer of Narcolepsy AND insomnia

R+R people, hope you liked it.